Ep. 4.16 The Good-Bye Room

[TVFan]

WHEN AN ADOPTED WOMAN TELLS LILLY THAT HER BIRTH MOTHER WAS MURDERED THE DAY AFTER SHE WAS BORN, THE COLD CASE TEAM ENTERS THE WORLD OF UNWED MOTHERS DURING THE 1950s AND '60s AND THE MATERNITY HOMES WHERE THEY WERE HIDDEN, ON "COLD CASE," SUNDAY, MARCH 4, 9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT

Holly Dale directed the episode that was written by Jennifer Johnson.

Lilly Rush: Kathryn Morris
Scotty Valens: Danny Pino
LT. John Stillman: John Finn
Nick Vera: Jeremy Ratchford
Will Jeffries: Thom Barry
Kat Miller: Tracie Thoms
Hilary West (1964): Johanna Braddy
William West (1964): Butch Hammett
Patricia West (1964): Elizabeth Connors
Sister Margaret (1964): Bree Pavey
Barbara Lakey (2006): Jillian Boyd
Huck Oberland (2007): Bruce Boxleitner
Huck Oberland (1964): Andy Fischer-Price
Boy: Joss Saltzman
Patricia West (2007): Patricia Place
Karen Watson (1964): Michelle Page
Karen Watson (2007): Sandy Martin
Sister Margaret (2007): Georgann Johnson
Brat #1: Sterling Beaumon
Brat #2: Jordan Green
Singing Pregnant Girl #1: Delia Sweeney
Singing Pregnant Girl #2: Leslie Murphy
Puppeteer #1: Andrew Clement

RATING: TV-14-DL

[Naj]

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Ah see, this is an episode. It was all case driven with Lilly at the helm and it was interesting. I don't need much to make me happy. I never suspected the killer. It had me going till they disclosed it. I was thinking maybe her boyfriends dad killed her.

Kinda curious. Were they able to tell the gender of the baby in 1964?


eta: I voted it One of the Season's Best.

[boxman]

Well said, Naj! You took the words right out of my mouth.

[longislanditalian2]

I liked it a lot, very emotional episode a little slow but good.


One thing struck me, Lilly looking at a picture of her and her mother does anyone think that it might be a possiblity that picture was of Kathryn and her mother?? Another thing I was confused about it that when Lilly's mother lost her at the mall for a drink, then sending her out for alcohol is there was possiblity that she didn't love her at all.


Lilly had said at the beginning that some people aren't cut out to be parents, but seeing the picture of Baby Lilly and her mother was odd, her mother didn't seem to be nutering towards her in the photograph. Another thing what year do anything think it was taken??





Back to the episode,

Hillary had very good intentions, she truely loved her baby a lot. That her child had meant the whole world to her, Karen on the other hand was suffering probably from post partem depression and killing Hillary was due to it. The nun wasn't too kind, and very unsupportive..


I cried at the end, when Barbara sees Hillary's ghost, really touching scene. But I do feel for Lilly, does her mother really pretend to love her like she pretended to loose her or does she love her??

Lilly was emotional in her eyes but she didn't let it get to her. Maybe somethings are just too painful for her to revisit. I knew she never had a baby but wants to, something tells me that.


Another thing I noticed, at the beginning and end the statue of a woman holding a baby is shown, but as Hillary dies her arms are outstrectched symbolizing 'goodbye" hence the titlle of this episode.

But at the ending came on the statue of that woman flashed about represting, togetherness. Barbara finding her biological grnadmother and father getting the love that Hillary so desperatly wanted to give for her.

[coldcasegirl]

That was totally unexpected! The TV preview made it seem like a "boring-old-timey" kind of episode, but OMG it was flippin AWESOME! Definitly one of this season's best! ;D

I totally loved it when Karen said "no love is deeper than a mother's for her child", and Lilly's eyes began to build up with tears!!! And the picture moment at the end was PRICELESS!!!! I can't wait to see what happens with her and her mom later on! ;D

The music was also great! The ending song was real sad, but it made the ep all the more better!

and the twists were awesome! if i had to give my baby up like that I would have died! guess hillary really did...anyways the case was very great and very well thought out!

**Definitly a top ep!!!!!

[TVFan]

This was one of the season's best for me as well. Just excellent all around. I'm short on time tonight, but I will post more specifics tomorrow afternoon. For now, I do have some thoughts and screencaps posted over at Pass the Remote.

[firstmother]

I am new here - I joined this forum because one of my favorite shows had a topic about something I am very familiar with - having my child stolen from my arms in 1966. I was one of those girls who were sent away to a home like that. I am actually even too overwhelmed to write much at the moment, but I wanted to thank the writer and producers for honoring this very great tragedy which happened to well over a million young women during that period of time. It's often referred to as the Baby Scoop Era (BSE)- the period of time after World War II and Roe v Wade.
And it was a tragedy for most of their babies too.
Kudos to Cold Case for the most powerful piece I've seen to date on this issue.

Carol

[boxman]

I gave it a "One of this season's best" vote too. It is the first episode in a *long* time that left me teary-eyed.

coldcasegirl said:

That was totally unexpected! The TV preview made it seem like a "boring-old-timey" kind of episode, but OMG it was flippin AWESOME! Definitly one of this season's best! ;D

I wasn't expecting much either. I had the expectation that this was going to be yet another Hollywood-made Christianity-bashing episode. It was a nice surprise that I didn't feel that way in the end. This episode was a good example of how a television show should treat controversial issues: Show the different perspectives involved, and how everyone tries to make the best decision out of what is presented to them--even if they end up making bad decisions. I definitely was feeling that I was learning something different about these maternity homes from everyone the detectives interviewed, especially from the present-day characters of Sister Margaret, Hillary's mom, and even Huck and Karen. Much better done here tonight, than in other episodes I've criticized before.

There was a number of excellent details written into the story. Have you folks noticed that the maternity home closed in 1974?? Quite a significant detail. Anyone care to guess what I'm thinking?? Kat's reaction to the whole case was excellently woven in. I know some of you folks have issues with new characters being introduced into the show, but I thought the way they brought Kat's background and family into the story was a perfect use of a new character. Finally, I think there's definitely subtle hints in this episode (once again) to the idea that Lilly may have had an abortion.... Boy, they won't let that discussion go away, won't they?? This episode leaves the viewers with a number of things to talk about, and I really like that.

BTW, I really liked hearing another story about Lilly's childhood. It too was woven in well with Karen's reply. And anyone notice that Lilly brought Karen a cup of coffee?? What's up with that coffee again??

[boxman]

Welcome to the board, FirstMother (Carol).
I'm looking forward to your future posts.

[longislanditalian2]

Somehow I don't think that Lilly's had an abortion or miscarriage it's just simply a yearning to have a baby of her own.. But I still confused about Lilly and her mother, did she or she not love her or maybe it was just a put on act that Ellen toyed with her daughter


boxman- What hints you you think that Lilly had an abortion??

[chris]

Hi... I am new here as well.. and I am one of the 'Girls Who Went Away' also. I lost my firstborn to adoption in 1964. This was my first time watching Cold Case and I was overwhelmed with the intensity and in the compassionate way this subject was presented. I would like to thank Jennifer Johnson, the writer of this episode, for her excellent, truthful portrayal of young unmarried women, decades ago. It has been said in those times, Post World War II thru to the early 70's, 6 million young women lost their newly born infants to adoption. And in the greatest instances, with little to no choice in the matter. 6 million mothers lost their babies and 6 million babies lost their mothers. This was an all-time high in American History, never before or after, where so many young mothers and their babies were separated, simply because they were wellllllll.... young! and unmarried. And religious organizations were sitting at the helm of this social engineering project.

I am so appreciative of Ms. Johnson's sensitive and accurate portrayal, as to how young unmarried women were once treated, by their families, communities, religions and society in general. We were spoke of in the vilest of terms. And to this day...most of us now grandmothers... are still reviled by those who knew nothing of the despicable treatment of young, unmarried, white, middle-class women, simply because they had sex and got 'caught'.

Thanks Jennifer... my hat is off to you.. from this Mother and Grandmother, from this 'Girl Who Went Away'.... and lost her newborn baby to adoption in 1964, because all I had to give was 'love'.

Chris

[boxman]

@ LII2 -- Oh, the hints are there if you look for it. You just have to first be willing to accept that it's a possibility that it's there, otherwise you won't see it. When you start your post with the statement, "Somehow I don't think that Lilly's had an abortion or miscarriage", it tells me you're not open to that idea. So naturally, you'd be blind to those very hints you want me to point out to you....

Quite frankly, I don't care either way if Lilly did or didn't have an abortion; I'm not really too "emotionally invested" into Lilly. But I do think that it would make her a really complex character, especially considering that the father is probably Ray.

I don't mean to be facetious, but the possibility that Lilly once had an abortion is probably more complex than a lot of people here can handle. And that's kind of an ironic idea, since one theme of this episode is that at a recent period in time, pregnant, unwed women would be ostracized by society....

[mamarobina]

I have looked for so long for a truly accurate representation of just what it was like to be coerced into losing one's own flesh and blood by what was a heinous institution and social attitude, then and, unfortunately, now. I just never expected to see it done as part of a Cold Case murder mystery.

As a mother of adoption loss, myself (early 60's) I have to say to the poster who feared "another Christian bashing," that it was the 'good, religious moralists' who were the perpetrators of much of this criminal treatment of the natural mother. Needless to say, I remain happily "unchurched" to this day at age 61.

I hope the fans of this show (I'm not much of a watcher of anything...I watched because of the subject matter) can see how we came to be a disregarded and discarded part of society, can relate to the phenomenon of reunion and understand the need for a new look at the institution of adoption and open access to records for both mothers and adult adoptees.

We 'moms' of that era have kept silent too long. Ann Fessler's book, "The Girls Who Went Away," is the first time our reality has made it into the mainstream consciousness with such force. 'The Goodbye Room' has brought this reality to the arena of poplular entertainment. Kudos to the writer and to the producers for presenting this topic.

[skonygirl]

"One thing struck me, Lilly looking at a picture of her and her mother does anyone think that it might be a possiblity that picture was of Kathryn and her mother???"

Actually it looked like a real picture of Meredith Baxter and her child....

Also I don't think Lilly had a baby....JMO

I think her mother had issues with alcohol and the pull in that direction was sometimes to strong but I think she loved her children.

[boxman]

mamarobina said:

As a mother of adoption loss, myself (early 60's) I have to say to the poster who feared "another Christian bashing," that it was the 'good, religious moralists' who were the perpetrators of much of this criminal treatment of the natural mother. Needless to say, I remain happily "unchurched" to this day at age 61.

That would be me! Welcome to the board, Mamarobina! My concern was more that the episode would only provide a one-sided view of the church. Some of the episodes have tended to portray people, institutions, personal values, and so forth in very thin, superficial, and stereotypical portrayals. It just gets silly to me when they do that, and just plain boring to watch. I think the way they showed the changes in Sister Margaret from the sixties to today gave some nice depth to the story...

For example, let me bring up something for discussion: Did anyone notice that in Sister Margaret's flashback of Hilary and her baby together, that the nun was wearing one of those wedding bands on her left ring-finger?? This was the "decoy" bands they issued to the girls when they go into town.... Could Sister Margaret too have been pregnant, gone to town (in regular dress, of course), and forgotten to remove the ring when she got back?? That's a good example of the kind of depth to the characters and the storyline I like seeing from this show, as well as the subtle hints and innuendos that make watching Cold Case so interesting.

[firstmother]

Did anyone notice that in Sister Margaret's flashback of Hilary and her baby together, that the nun was wearing one of those wedding bands on her left ring-finger?? This was the "decoy" bands they issued to the girls when they go into town

Boxman, while I am not Catholic I believe nuns wear wedding bands because they are married to God. Although, I've heard from many Catholic friends about the number of nuns who also gave up babies I'm not sure I saw the connection in this plot but maybe I'm wrong.

The belief that those of us who got caught for doing what most of our friends were doing were *bad girls* was prevalent in a large number of these maternity homes. The ones run by Catholic Charities seemed to be more blatant in the way they treated the girls. I was sent to a Booth Memorial Home which was run by the Salvation Army. While we weren't constantly berated for being bad girls - there was still the unlying and subtle disrespectful treatment of us. Sort of a "you made your bed, now lie in it" attitude.

[Naj]

Hello firstmother, chris and mamarobina

I can't even begin to imagine being sent away so young yourself and needing support and nurturing. And, too, Hilary and her boyfriend didn't even understand pregnancy. I remember my mother talking about when she got married when she was 21 and no one ever told her anything about the birds and the bees. She got pregnant on her wedding night. It affected her and how she lived and dealt with us as children. Actually all thru life.

Anyhow, people were so cold back in these times. To think this is was 40 + years ago seems like another life time. I just wanted to slap Hiliary's father but this was typical and the bit about "how it looks' to others is always a big reason.


mamarobina says:

6 million mothers lost their babies and 6 million babies lost their mothers

.

That's just awful. "Awful" isn't even a strong enough word. Deplorable?

This is why I like Cold Case because it's real as to it portrayal of people and the time frame.


longislanditalian,

It was a picture of Lilly and her mom. That was a young Meredith Baxter Birney. If anyone has a picture please post it over in Fan Art for this episode.


Also I wasn't able to tape this episode. I can't believe it! This is one I want to keep.


Just curious, was there only one nun at that place?

[firstmother]

Did anyone notice that in Sister Margaret's flashback of Hilary and her baby together, that the nun was wearing one of those wedding bands on her left ring-finger?? This was the "decoy" bands they issued to the girls when they go into town

While I'm not Catholic, I believe that nuns wear wedding bands to signify their marriage to Christ. Although I've heard stories from my Catholic friends about a number of nuns giving up babies too, I'm not sure I saw the connection in this plot, but maybe I'm wrong.

The depiction of maternity homes treating the girls as if we were bad, just because we got caught doing what most of our friends were doing is pretty accurate. It was worse at the homes run by Catholic Charities, but even at the Booth Memorial Home that I was sent to which was run by the Salvation Army, there was definately an attitude of "you made your bed, now lie in it.

Additionally, thank you to Chris for pointing out that it was over 6 million young women that this happened to as opposed to the 1 million I mistakenly typed. This is a well kept secret in the adoption industry which continues to this day to imply that most young women who gave up babies had a choice. Adoptive parents particularly have difficulty grasping that their gain was a life shattering loss to the mother of their child.

[firstmother]

Sorry I posted twice ....yikes! I didn't see my first post go through.

[firstmother]

To think this is was 40 + years ago seems like another life time. I just wanted to slap Hiliary's father but this was typical and the bit about "how it looks' to others is always a big reason.

You're right Naj. I sobbed throughout the entire show, especially when all the pat lines so many of us heard were uttered. "What will the neighbors think?" was one of the first things my mother said to me. The scene with the nun and Hillary's mother coerced her by firing questions to create doubt in her mind and even the T chart was standard.

While Sister Margaret may have tried to apologize for her treatment of the young mothers, it just didn't ring true to me. She was in the business of selling babies and whether it was under the guise of trying to keep the home solvent or not - she knowingly participated in ripping the mother's hearts out. It is very, very difficult for young women who endured this treatment to ever trust authorative figures again. And certainly many of them never go back to the church that raped their soul.