Fools In Love

[cellogal]

Chapter 38 is posted!

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/38/

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I know you worked your ass off on this chapter, and believe me, the hard work pays off like you wouldn't believe.

So so so so so so much love for the Scotty/Bailey scene. You're right, these two desperately needed to share a scene together, and the end result is just fourteen flavours of awesome. Seriously. I'm sure, if I were a GA fan, I'd appreciate it all the more, but even as it is, I absolutely adore it. I love Scotty's competitive streak, his refusal to let Bailey know he's in pain, and I love love LOVE her ability to call him on his crap and make him feel like an idiot for even trying to slip under the radar. Granted, this is the voice of GA-illiteracy speaking, but Bailey is AWESOME.

As to the Lilly/Scotty encounter. I really love your use of perspective, here. Scotty getting so far as seeing that Lilly is in Ice Queen mode, and then Lilly taking over for the bulk of the interrogation... 'cause it is an interrogation, and it makes sense that the interrogator would be the one to carry the weight of the perspective stuff. And, in your usual style, you throw in just a handful of momentary Scotty observations and really give us a flavour of his mindset too, excactly when we need it.

I love that we see those little fractured moments where Lilly realises she's not 100% in Detective Mode... 'cause, as you say, she's not prepared, she's not ready... and the way you develop that emotion to form her confidence and give her the strength to face him. A fabulous build-up to a scene that can only be described as 'intense'. And, again, the perfect moment for a touch of Scotty! Insight, giving us his side of things so that we as readers are priviliged in knowing where both characters stand. I love how aggressive it starts, too, her making demands about his hand, and him being his typical obnoxious self as he often is when faced with these situations, and you've captured that perfectly while at the same time reminding us of exactly why he does what he does. Again, I know how hard you worked on this, and again, it shines through.

Also, your penchant for sardonic humour really adds to this scene. Scotty's disbelief that Lilly would see through his lies before he even told them had me giggling inanely. I don't exactly know why, but it totally did, and - again - at exactly the right moment. Your sense of timing, in all possible things, when you write these powerhouse scenes, is second to none.

I absolutely LOVE how you've set the scene up so that, every lie Scotty tells, Lilly has concrete evidence to refute. We have interrogation scenes on the show, all the time, that use zero evidence or even less... and this is just such a perfect throwback to the show, and is such an expert depiction of Lilly's detective skills (something that is so often overlooked on the show, in favour of her melodrama). This is how this sort of thing should be done, exactly this. And I do love how Scotty never fails to be thrown by it, even though he totally knows she's being Detective Rush. It's adorable, really, and so so so true to his character that he'd let himself be baited by her just because she's Lilly, even though he KNOWS he knows better.

Awesome as the buildup is, though, the climax is a hundred times more so. His explosion on "don't touch it" (and have I mentioned yet how much more power it has after all of your tweaking? 'cause WOW), and his breaking down thereafter... as if the explosion took all the energy he had left to fight her with. Just... wow. Have I said 'wow' yet? 'Cause wow.

Seriously. I can't even pick out the best moments of Scotty's tirade because it's just that amazing, from beginning to end. Sort of like a counterpoint to his tirade towards Ellen a couple chapters back, only the exact reverse... and this time, he really IS doing something about it, and it really is working and... GUH. Seriously. You are the best out there when it comes to these intense speeches and powerhouse scenes, and once again you've proven that with this section. Your grasp of Scotty's character, his thoughts, everything about him is just... second to none... and it makes this stuff all the more amazing to read because it's excellent writing coupled with excellent characterisation... which is a real tricky combination to pull off.

And then, of course, Lilly's reaction... and, after all that, who can blame her? I'm going to gloss over the good stuff for obvious reasons, but - as ever - you've handled the subject with tact and decency, in addition to... well, the obvious. Awesome stuff, on a variety of levels. And, let's not forget, clever in its symbolism, too.

The conversation afterwards? Guh. It's so... something. I'm honestly at a loss to think of the right word. Heartfelt, maybe. I want to say 'powerful', but that isn't right, because it's the exact opposite of that. I dunno... but it's definitely SOMETHING. And it's very much a good something. The depth of sudden understanding between them, the connection. In a way, the afterglow is a more intimate moment than the sex was, and that's a really impactful point. The physicality is one thing, but what they have between them on a soul-deep level, the depth of sharing, that is the part that matters. Just... beautiful. I think that may be the word I'm looking for. 'Cause it so so so so is.

And I think I'm done. Whew. Looking forward to its continuation, as always!

[cellogal]

Chapter 39 is posted!

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/39/

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Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, new chapter! Ahem, sorry, 'eeeee' reflex.

The opening section is just awesome. Quite possibly my favourite in the whole chapter, for both the Ellen awesome and the DP:FA reference. You've done such a fabulous job of capturing the pessimism and the optimism of the moment, both at the same time. Ellen's fear, Scotty's confidence. It's a fabulous combination, and I'm kinda finding myself becoming okay with the obnoxious "Lilly was raised by a neglectful alocoholic mother" backstory the show gave us, because it gives rise to moments like this in fic - where Lilly isn't actually involved, save the odd moment, and - as with most characters on the show - her neglectful alcoholic mother becomes this really enthralling human being when Lilly isn't around so much to ruin them.

Scotty, of course, being the exception that proves the rule... and, again, that's a point you take great pains to make here. I absolutely LOVE his insightful moment. He really is the sort of character who can't just angst a little, he has to take up a whole page... and you're the best there is at capturing the essense of his internal ramblings. Some of us are still learning to make him put a lid on it, but you always seem to get exactly the right moments to make him stop and to let him keep going. In this case, I just adore the progression of his fatigue; as a reader, you can practically feel him growing more and more exhausted as his thoughts progress, until such a point as he realises it himself. It's a very very didactic piece of writing, and contains some phenomenal insight... but then, I'd expect no less!

As to the ring? Awesome as the moment is, and beautifully executed as his moment of exhausted self-doubt is (and all the more so coming in the wake of that fabulous developmental angsting binge)... I'll refrain from dwelling too long on it and leave the rampant squeeing to the fangirls. They're better at it than me. At least when it comes to L/S...

And then, of course, you have Lilyl saving him... and it's just such a powerful, fabulous counterpoint to his need to save her, his rushing back from Baltimore to be Superman. It's almost like... he gets to be Superman, and she gets to see him when he's just plain old Clark Kent, and that's what makes what they have special. Again, you've got his exhaustion to the point that it's almost tangible in the words as you read them, and Lilly's capacity to drag that out of him and force him to admit it. He won't admit he's not fine, but he'll admit to that bone-deep exhaustion, and that's enough. And she lets him KNOW that, lets him know that him taking a moment away from Super!Scotty is just fine and she doesn't love Clark! Scotty any less... which just makes the whole thing even more awesome.

Again, you follow this on in the next scene, and it continues to be awesome. I love how you keep repeating his 'sorry' as if he still feels he needs to apologise for not being bulletproof all the time, and how she just overrides it entirely because she knows better. And you know I'm a sucker for Cat Moments, so the Tripod bit had me giggling like a lunatic. "Princess", indeed. But yea. Lilly's realisations of exactly what he's done for her, coupled with her unquestioning understanding of his fatigue in the previous section, just come together in a cavalcade of awesome on her line about 'forever'. It's just so wonderfully, beautifully subtle... and it doesn't push the line into thoughts of complicated emotional things... it just makes the point, without ever placing a name or a label on it, that that's where she is. And the scene that follows? Small and simple as it is, it's really the perfect underlining of the last few chapters, and a quiet return to whatever passes for normalcy in Philadelphia.

And, just like that, we're back to the fun and the snark and all the good things that - again - you bring out so perfectly in each and every one of these characters. The 'secretary' line was priceless, and I kinda wanted to squish Vera for his response, 'cause he's so cranky and yet it's so so so so so understandable given his own circumstance. And I sort of feel bad for him and I sort of want to tell him to be patient at the same time... 'cause I so know where Kat is coming from, and I'm biased towards taking her side anyway (*g*), and yet there's give and take in a relationship and Vera kinda feels by now that he's only getting to give. And, yea, you totally know how much I'm looking forward to seeing that side of things develop... but, yea. A lovely little section, filled with great one-liners, and just the faintest hint of angst ('cause what would we be without our angst?), and a really awesome final line.

Looking forward to more, as ever!!

[cellogal]

Chapter 40 is posted...

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/40/

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I don't think you need me to tell you how much I loved this... but I shall do so anyway. 'Cause it so deserves it.

You know I'm a total sucker for K/V (though apparently slightly less of one than I am for Certain Other Things...), so this chapter was just absolutely made up of things that made me squee to no end. I'm going to have to be relatively vague here, 'cause you know what I get like when I start rambling on a tangent, and there are few things in the world that get me tangenting quite like Miller!Insight... which you have here in spades.

Seriously. I know I've already said "wow" a couple of times (or six or seven or twelve) on this subject, but... wow. You take the classic breakdown of communication and make something absolutely phenomenal out of it. You've really grasped Vera's growing frustration with what he sees as an irrational (let's say ridiculous, hehe) situation, and you've likewise grasped Kat's self-awareness and her reasons for being the issue machine that she is. It's not easy to really get deep enough into two characters as polar opposite as these two and come out at the end with a genuine understanding of both, but you've absolutely managed it. You've captured them both just so staggeringly well, it's impossible to NOT understand them both by the end of it.

So, okay, Vera. Good lord, how much do I love his thoughts on his friendship with Scotty? He wants to gloat and be a jackass and Nick Vera about it... but, at the heart of it, like he said, it's about having something in common with his best friend, and being able to be honest with him. And I can kinda sorta see how Kat wouldn't be able to understand that side of him - the side that loves and respects Scotty and their mutual friendship, 'cause again she's too closed-off to ever have that sort of friendship with anyone. I love how you've reflected that, and how he understandably blows up at her refusal to Get Him in much the same way as he can't Get Her; these two are SO much more together (in a psychological sense, not a romantic one) than Scotty and Lilly, and yet even they have MILES to go before they fully get each other.

Also, 'cause it needs its props... Bad CGI Flames for the WIN.

But, err, yea. I think you've hit upon a pretty important issue here, with Vera's desperation to understand where Kat's coming from. 'Cause she has all these issues (all these millions and millions and millions of issues...), and SHE knows what they are, and he's right - he's just the poor lummox who's never going to understand, in the first because he's not Been There, and in the second because she Just Won't Let Him. I can't even imagine how frustrating it must be for him to have to deal with her, and to love her at the same time, in spite of those issues and sorta because of them as well... and, again, you've captured that conflict in him so so so so well.

And your Kat!Insight? GUH. Seriously. As someone who's spent their entire CC-fanfic-writing 'career' trying to get inside this woman's head, I've never even come close to some of the stuff you've uncovered here. It's just... seriously, 'wow' is the only word I can come up with. I've read this thing half a dozen times now, and certain parts STILL just make me go 'wow'. So so simple, and yet they make SO much sense it's staggering.

In particular, that "V's payin' the price, and so are you" / "I gotta be perfect" bit. Good LORD, that's powerful... and all the more so in the wake of all the stuff you've outlined beforehand (I'm still floored by that rumour bit, seriously). I love love love love that she KNOWS it's irrational and that it makes no sense, that's just such a beautifully true-to-life statement, it's just amazing. 'Cause you can know it makes no sense, and you can WANT with all your soul to not be that girl any more, to change before you end up hurting the person you'd give your life to never hurt... but, when it comes down to it, you just CAN'T... and you've grasped that conflict so well, and it makes so so so much sense in the context of Her and Who She Is, it's just... staggering. Seriously. Absolutely staggering.

And, grah. I'm sure there was much more I was going to say, but that just ate my brain. I love how you end it, I love how it's looking to segue into Other Things, and I love that neither of them win. Because that's the way they are - neither of them win, but there's always Something there somewhere that just touches on the fact that things have changed. And I'd go on more about this, but I'm wary of spoilers, so I shall end it here. Suffice it to say, though, that I LOVE how you've ended this, and I love love love that there isn't any clear-cut end to the fight. I'm a sucker for stalemates, and this one rocked. Like, 'squeeing for a week' levels of rocked. Looking forward to the next installment, as you know!

[elodieusa]

Cannot wait to read the chapters you posted! :-)

[cellogal]

Yay! I'm glad! Here's one more for you.

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/41/

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As ever, another great chapter, with your usual dose of awesome moments and character insight.

I love the opening sections, with Restless! Scotty and Concerned!Lilly. It's such a tangible change in the style of angst, going from real serious Drama, as we've seen a lot in various ways throughout this fic, to something so simple and natural and normal as what we're seeing here. I mean, granted, it's Them and so the angst and drama is amplified... but it's still leaped from the realm of the Scotty!Exclusive, to that of the Regular Guy, and that's such an awesome change. We're out of the woods, so to speak, and now the issues we're dealing with are that little bit more simplistic, that little closer to normalcy, and it's a fabulous shift.

Lilly's concern amuses me somewhat, in particular her reaction to his fineness. I love the whole "that was her" line bit, and I love how she goes into typical Lilly!Drama mode and assumes he's angsting about something. Which, y'know, he is, but it's the good sort of angst. You've really clocked her association with the word 'fine', though, and her knee-jerk reaction to think All Is Not What It Seems, while at the same time being The Clueless Woman who can't for all her detective skills figure out what it is that's got him. Just some generally awesome Lilly characterisation, there, I think was the point I'm trying to make.

Their fight? AWESOME. Seriously. It's a nice platform to further explore Scotty's self- doubt, but it's also a wonderful wonderful glimpse into the Not-So-Perfect world of their relationship. It's not one of those big cataclysmic fights they have sometimes that makes the whole world stop for both of them. It's a simple, silly argument, just like real couples have all the times, over simple, silly things... and it's AWESOME. Stuff like this is exactly why you're so damn good at this stuff - the realism of it is just plain breathtaking.

As to the rest of the chapter? *happy sigh*. You KNOW how much I love the K/S, and you KNOW how firmly I believe that they manage to bring the best out of each other - both in the show (especially recently) and in fanfic, and this is just the most awesome moment since, well, probably CarScene (clearly, these two need to get thrown into a car together MUCH more often). Their fight over Rock Paper Scissors is simultaneously hilarious and kinda poignant, and I love that - despite their own bubbles of moodiness - they can both just Sense that the other is also in a bad place, and work to push the other to confess their troubles, in that wonderfully competitive way that only they can. Just, guh.

I love how he tries to get her to talk about her Issues, and how she calls his bluff and the whole thing backfires... and I love that he realises he really does have nothing to lose. He should know by now - When In Doubt, Go To Miller. XD. I love how she plays off everything he says, feeding him exactly what he needs, and how he ultimately gives her that back without even knowing he's done that. Like I said, the rapport between these two, IMHO, is out of this world, and you capture it so so so well.

Once again, the realism of this conversation is AWESOME. His vulnerability and fear that she'll mock him, and his sincerity when asking her to turn off that part of her just while he's feeling that way... and how she knows exactly when it's okay to turn it back on... and, especially, how she reverts back to using that as a defence mechanism when she senses he's about to turn the lights on her. 'Cause that is exactly what she does when she's cornered like that, and it's SO him to not be deterred by her walls of snark when he's trying to ask a serious question for once. Again, he knows exactly when to push her, and it works just beautifully to get her where she needs to be.

And, yea, the Reveal? GUH. There aren't even WORDS for how much I love that. You've outlined Kat's inner struggle so so so so beautifully, the panic and the ultimate determination... and I adore the urgency in her when she finally decides to bite the bullet, because she knows if she waits even a second longer, she'll chicken out. Also, the way you couple that with Scotty's aggravated concern. 'Cause it's so him. And that moment with the ring? GUH GUH GUH. I love love love love LOVE the repeated use of "I said yes", and how she's realising it just as much as he is. Just... one of the most beautiful moments we've had in recent chapters and it's just so... tear-jerkingly heart-warming, if that isn't a total contradiction. You know what I mean, right? One of those moments that makes you sniffle for all the Good Reasons. Just... so much love. Seriously.

So, yep... another kickass chapter, with some beautifully realistic moments and such depth and warmth and sincerity... it's one of those chapters, simple as it is on the surface, that really singles you out in your capacity to really grasp the nuances of these characters and their various relationships - Scotty and Lilly, Kat and Vera, Scotty and Kat - in a way that the rest of us can't even try to touch. Bravo.

[cellogal]

Chapter 42 is posted!

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/42/

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Another great chapter. I hope you'll forgive me if this one is a little shorter than usual; I don't trust my computer to let me type for more than five minutes without crashing Firefox...

Great start; I love how Scotty is still floored by Kat's revelation, how big a thing it is to him - both in terms of his friendship with Kat and how much he knows about her, and in terms of his own qualms regarding Lilly. You've made the point yourself, the two women are really quite alike, despite being very very different, and you've built up a recurring theme in this fic of Scotty using Kat's experiences to springboard his actions with Lilly, so this is wonderfully in keeping with that. I also love how he draws on his experience with Elisa, the 'youthful impulse' bit, and how Lilly deserves more than that... and, in a way, he deserves more, too.

Also, much love for the kickback to Scotty's flower delivery in ETTFC. I loved that moment in the fic, and I love being reminded of it here.

LOVE the Kat/Vera moment, as you can probably guess. I love that he reads her as well as he does; that he knows precisely what she's like and how she ought to react, and how it hurts her to know exactly what he expects. Most of all in this scene, I absolutely LOVE that he realises how huge a step it is for her to just be wearing the ring; likewise, you've really captured how awestruck she suddenly is by the enormity of what she's done. You know I'm a sucker for repetition, and her echoing "I said yes" again is so awesomely poignant. She's coming to realise exactly what she's signed herself up for, and he's coming to realise that he can push her to become more than what she's allowed herself to be. They work very very well together.

Lilly's little introspective moment is just fabulous. Your version of Lilly is so much more self-aware than Show!Lilly, probably as a result of the things your cumulative fics have made her face, and it's so refreshing to see a Lilly who accepts who she is, and at least acknowledges the fact that everything she accuses Scotty of doing, she does a hundred times worse herself. I especially love her thoughts on bickering, how she's never experienced anything of the sort herself; so true and so well-pointed out. And, yea, her observations on Scotty are awesome - SO accurate. He really is an open book, and yet some of his pages are just so completely closed it's ridiculous.

I love the plan-making, and Lilly's obliviousness to how significant it might be; like you said, women do become alarmingly blonde when it comes to things like that, and you've expressed that at just the perfect level to keep it absolutely true to Lilly's character. And, of course - unrelated but following on from that - Jeffries's vibe and Vera's inevitable snark. LOVE IT. LOVE IT. LOVE IT.

As to the last section? What can I say. Scotty is so adorable when he's happy and filled with love ad purpose, and I just honestly don't want to focus too much on that or else this entire paragraph will just consist of Lovestruck!Scotty squee. It's something we don't get to see very often, and that rarity just makes it all the more precious and beautiful when it does surface. The same can definitely be said of Lilly too, in fact, as she's downright likeable in this! But yea, I know you've been distracted by, errrrr, other pairings (*g*) lately, but this scene really brings out the best of your Lilly/Scotty. And, as ever, this from a non-L/S.

And, oh the cliffhanger!! You can always count on a kid to ruin things! And especially a kid with Miller DNA. Perfect!! Cannot wait to see this culminate. XD!

[cellogal]

Chapter 43 is up, y'all!

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/43/

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Yet another awesome chapter... and yep, I'm still giggling at... well, pretty much the whole thing, really, for various reasons. Which I will try and inevitably fail to outline...

Scotty's reaction to The Big Reveal is just absolutely hilarious. When in doubt, go into denial. Lilly bringing him back down to Earth is priceless, as is his delayed reaction. I also love his fixation on the Malcolm X glasses. And, of course, being detectives, they have to go and Investigate, and that scene is just so so so so so so adorable I don't even know where to begin.

Your dialogue is always spot-on, and it's often the case that I can picture a given scene playing out in front of me, and this is definitely one of those scenes. The food battle between Vera and Veronica is just so adorably brilliant; talk about "like mother, like daughter"! And, of course, Kat is going to side with V, and you're forced to wonder whether it's because Veronica is her daughter or because Vera is her oppposition. I think my favourite moment in the whole section, though, is the observation that - for all his complaints - Vera sees the whole thing as a big game. Awwwwwwww.

SO much love for Lilly and Scotty calling them out, and Scotty's realisation that - as desperately as Kat wants to kill him - she wouldn't dare in front of her daughter. Hee. And, of course, V is SO not helping their case here. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you can always trust kids to make things more fun.

Likewise, I freakin' ADORE the explanation of how things started. Because, again, it's such a plausible scenario (only, y'know, somehow between this scene being planned however long ago it was, and it going into print, I'm now picturing it happening with someone else, but let's not go there). And, really, Vera is just that sweet and just that naturally gifted with kids, which is a facet of him you've really brought to light so beautifully in this chapter, which I'm not sure if I've mentioned yet. And just... yea. Such a lovely and simple piece of backstory, and one that works so so so so so so well.

Also? HEE, cowboy!

The last section... ROFL. You've built it up so so so so so hilariously well, and peppered in exactly the right amount of horror with what is an otherwise very... nice... scene. There's not too much of either, and the balance - both in terms of content and also perspective - is so perfect throughout that the inevitable punchline just makes you (which is to say, the reader) giggle like a loon. There's been a lot of emotional stuff the past few chapters, and this is just the sort of comic relief that you're SO good at sprinkling throughout this fic at exactly the right moment following some emotional intensity - be that angst or otherwise... and you make that very very difficult blend look so easy. The rest of us - well, me at least - are jealous. XD

And there we have it. Looking forward to the next chapter.

[cellogal]

Chapter 44 is posted...

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/44/

[cellogal]

...as is Chapter 45.

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/45/

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FINALLY, I'm in a position to review. YAY. I'm gonna power through these two chapters, to avoid spam... but you know how freakin' awesome they are, so hopefully I'll be able to cover the most important facets of why...

Boy, does Vera OWN these two chapters, or what? He makes the whole concept seem so simple, and really it kinda is. His damage control is second to none, really, both in terms of his pep-talk for Scotty in ch44, and his trying to reason with Lilly in ch45. And, again, he deals with them both in such different ways - his gentle exasperation with Lil and his boyish calm with Scotty... and, in a lot of ways, that's exactly what they both need at those two respective moments, and you pull off both shades of Nick Vera so well. It's odd seeing him as the experienced guy who knows what he's talking about, instead of the goofball whose only purpose is comic relief, and yet you - like "Triple Threat" - make that side of him so real and so true and so pure... and, well, there'll be more, but not in this review. Hehe.

Likewise, you use Kat SO brilliantly in ch44. Her reminding Scotty that she'd said yes, and his understanding of exactly what that means. I adore how you have him fixate on that towards the end - drawing comfort from his partner, who mirrors Lilly in so many ways - in canon, and especially in this ficverse - and the knowledge that SHE said yes. I'm a total sucker for mirroring and repetition, as you know, and this incorperates both effortlessly and with such raw passion on Scotty's part it's amazing.

As to our main players? GUH. You really have Lilly as Detective Rush down cold. Oblivious to everything that surrounds her because she's on a hot streak with the case. I've known a fair few workaholic types in my time (and, hell, we've all been in that place when working on a chapter or whatever where everything else disappears), and you've really nailed that perspective. It's not indifference or carelessness, yuo're just so caught up in what you're doing nothing else can possibly be worth interrupting your concentration, and Lilly is SO completely a victim of that, so often, and - in a fic that has focussed really quite heavily on the inter-relationships of our cast - it's nice to occasionally get those glimpses of their working selves... and, again, you're just as adept at writing Detective Rush as you are Vulnerable Lilly. Kudos.

On the flipside, you really showed her moment of realisation wonderfully; the guilt bleeding into the panic, and the way you've shown her inability to figure out what's going on is fabulous - especially coupled with Detective Rush; she's an expert with professional puzzles, but as soon as she gets a personal one, she's just a dumb blonde. If you'll forgive the line, heh. I've touched on Vera's role in this scene, but again you've nailed Lilly so perfectly... right down to her inevitable meltdown at the end, and her building herself up again later when she's on her own. I think that's a great part of her character - the working things through when she's on her own and has the time and the silence and lack of distraction to do so. She treats everything like a case, and your dissection of her responses is SO her, with that wonderful pseudo-cliffhanger ending, it's just... again, kudos.

And then there's Scotty... JEEZ. You really are the definitive authority on writing this guy, and writing him believably. You've absolutely nailed the cavalcade of emotions he must be feeling throughout both these chapters... and, as I touched on before, the countdown at the end of ch44 is just amazing. His focus on Kat, who's been a counterpoint for Lilly throughout this fic, his excited determination, and especially his nervousness; it's all so real it practically leaps off the page. Or, y'know, screen. Fabulous use of repetition and short snappish sentences, both devices I love anyway and at their most effective when used for this sort of impact, and especially loved the timeframe at the end.

Likewise, you've really developed the evolution of his emotional state throughout ch45, ranging from concern to panic to rage. You can almost see the hurricane forming from a light breeze, and you've outlined every step of that formation so clearly, it's a joy to read. Knowing what's coming, I can't really speculate, but I think you've given yourself such a perfect setup - with both Scotty and Lilly's respective mindsets, there's no way the next chapter can be anything but a cataclysm of awesome. And you know I'm looking forward to seeing it all go down.

;D

[cellogal]

Chapter 46 is posted!

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/46/

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Okay, seriously; what can I say about this chapter, other than 'wow'? I mean, without repeating myself, that is...

Once again, you have Kickass!Vera in full swing, and once again he is supremely awesome. I don't think I'll ever get tired of Experienced!Vera, or your ability to keep him completely in character despite having given him so much more to work with than the show ever bothered with. He's a hard character to write without characaturing, and you strike such a perfect balance between Vera as comedy relief and Vera as a serious and respected cop in his own right; this chapter, naturally, we see the latter, and I just love that. He's not just giving Scotty advice, he's speaking to him with the voice of someone who's been there, and who knows firsthand exactly what Scotty's going through. In much the same way as you've managed to draw parallels between Lilly and Kat through their similar experiences, you've done the same in these last few chapters between Vera and Scotty... and, looking back through the fic - again - it's not the first time. It's one of those situations you look back on and think 'how did I not notice this before?'

Extra love for the donut bit, though I imagine that goes without saying. I love how Scotty sees the proposal, and Nick and Kat see the marriage behind it... and, of course, have to point that out to him. It's easy to look at the moment, the proposal, as the thing that the entire future of your relationship is based on, but it's not, and it's freakin' awesome that Vera stepped up to the plate and reminded Scotty of that; there are very few characters in this show - Jeffries being the only other I can think of - who is so apt at calming down a Raging Valens, and you made an inspired decision to give Vera that scene.

As to the Other Scene... what can I say? Wow. Seriously. So many breakdowns in communication, so little time... and yet, when the pieces all fall into place, they're THERE and they just fit perfectly. That's the crux of a good relationship, I would imagine; when you can not hear a single word the other person is saying, and yet - when the moment comes that you both NEED to get each other and realise what they're trying to say to you, it hits. Of course, in this case, the nerves are probably largely to blame, but in a way that makes it even better; throughout this fic, you've really made these characters come to life... but, more than that, you've made them human. They have strengths and weaknesses and flaws and sometimes things just don't turn out right. You've captured the essence of both Lilly and Scotty here, the latter in particular, but both... and you've made them so breathtakingly human, it's impossible for any reader not to sympathise with them on some level or another.

The conversation... good LORD, but it's awesome. You can really feel the frustration, the perplexity in the room, and both of them feeling it for completely different reasons. Scotty 'cause his perfect night has been completely ruined, and because he's effectively sabotaged it himself... and Lilly, in a way more deservingly, though I'd deny having said that under oath, for his being so presumptuous as to second-guess her every response without ever once asking her what she thinks. It's SO easy for someone to get so caught up in their own intentions that they just forget to take the other side into account, and this is what's happened to Scotty here. Again, it's wonderfully human, and so fabulously described by you... you feel bad for him and you want to smack him upside the head at the same time.

And then, of course, they FINALLY begin to communicate, to talk things through, and to understand each other... and it's BEAUTIFUL. Seriously... there's no other word for it. The utter simplicity of "just ask me" because - when you break the whole thing down, really dissect all the issues and the argument and the wrong moment and everything else that the night has culminated in... that's what's left. A boy and a girl, who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together... and your decision to express that as simply as possible is just, IMHO, the most perfect way of going about this that could ever have been.

I'm not even going to touch on his speech that wasn't his speech but was a speech nonetheless. Seriously. 'Cause I can't touch on it without taking it apart and picking out the most impactful bits... and there are none, because it's the whole thing, the whole entity and it needs to be kept in one piece. Just... WOW. Seriously, that's all I've got. When these people, and Scotty in particular, get to speechifyin', it's something out of this world. And, as ever, you capture the rawest essence of why it's that way.

And the end... 'awwwww' doesn't even begin to cover it, seriously. We're back in that classic breakdown-of-communication scenario, and yet it's completely different to the one we had at the beginning of the scene. And it's just so SWEET. His fixation on the speech - because part of him is still there in the land of 'it must be perfect', and she's moved on... but, of course, he doesn't see that. And, of course, when she speaks, he misinterprets it in true Scotty Valens style, and it's just so characteristic of him to not see the forest for the trees, and so wonderfully fitting that, after everything they've been through, after all her hard work to overcome her issues, SHE is the one who has to point out to him that he's called it wrong. Just... guh. And so so so so so so so so many levels of awwwwwwwww.

That's it. I think. And colour me selfishly glad there's another chapter to come. ;D

[cellogal]

Last chapter is posted!

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/47/

[Collider]

What a journey you've taken us on! You know I've loved this fic, from beginning to end, and - as much as I enjoyed this chapter - there's a part of me that's deeply saddened in reviewing it, 'cause that means it's done and underlined. Even so, if you had to end it, you've picked the perfect way to do so. I know you say you have trouble with 'ending' chapters, and I feel you, but you've done the best that could've been expected with this, and you've latched onto the perfect final moment to close curtain on.

But first, the rest. There's so much in here, and that's a pretty solid reflection on the fic as a whole, so it makes me happy that there's a lot of stuff I need to touch on before I can finish up reviewing it.

The opening section, Scotty's amazement and disbelief is adorable... but Lilly's reaction to the ring just steals the show, here. She's been completely in control of this wholly unorthodox scenario pretty much from beginning to end, and suddenly she's looking at this stunning, beautiful ring (which, great description, btw), and all of a sudden SHE'S the one who can't speak. It's such a great reversal from just a few moments earlier with Scotty's inability to even respond to a kiss, and such a natural reaction, I would imagine. It's one of those scenarios that almost lead you to wonder how she would've reacted if it'd gone down the way Scotty had planned, but even so, you've taken what was an imperfect moment (which, I do think, in the long run, actually works better than the perfect proposal, really), and given it that sparkle of perfection just to cement the beauty of it. Or, y'know, something to that effect.

I absolutely love the shift from S/L to their colleagues and back again, while they determine whether it'd be prudent to, errr, consummate their engagement right then and their. The little gambling banter you've put in between the co- workers fits in SO neatly here, and the two scenes mesh together and intercut each other so well that the entire section might as well be playing out on the screen. As ever, your characterisation for everyone is spot-on, here. I absolutely LOVE that you've even got Stillman in on it; it's so rare that we get to see John Stillman and not the big boss Lieutenant, and you've really captured the playful paternal side of him that the show gives us SO rarely. We need to see more of this side of him in canon, I think, 'cause it's an awesome thing.

That said, I also love the logic behind Lilly and Scotty's decision not to do it there, the need to make their first time as an engaged couple a special one. I love that that's their deciding factor more even than the possiblity that they're being watched. It shows how far they've come on an emotional level, and gives a moment of tenderness amid the hilarity. Again, you've got the perfect combination of funny and significant.

Again, the aftermath to all this is not only awesome but totally fitting. I love that everyone gets their money, and that they were all right in some respect but none of them got the full story. I love how Scotty only lets Vera believe they did it because it makes Kat uncomfortable, and not to bolster his reputation, I LOVE LOVE LOVE that Stillman is the one whose bet was on them walking out engaged; again, so fitting and so suited to the character that the father-figure is the one who guesses the ultimate outcome. Again, it's so rare that Stillman gets to be this laid-back, sincere, human being... and, when he does, it's just... it makes you realise why he's the boss, and it has nothing to do with his professional qualifications.

The whole section at Jones' is awesome, from the beautifully understated speech - not too long, not too mushy, just blissfully simple and beautifully direct - through to the end. I love the mirroring conversations between Scotty and Nick, and Lilly and Kat. I've made the point a hundred times, but I have to do so again; you've done such a great job throughout this thing of mirroring the two pairings, and the sets of characters, of giving them stuff to work off from each other, and these two conjoining scenes really take that mirror and emphasise it. Scotty and Vera, so similar and finally on the same page... and Lilly and Kat, who will probably never be on the same page, and yet who understand intangibly that there's this similarity between them. Sort of. I especially love the reminiscing in the Scotty/Vera scene; it never fails to be freakin' awesome when you shout-out to moments from the show, and this time is no exception. Likewise, in the L/K scene, "no pink" had me giggling like crazy.

And, GUH, that last section. What can I even say about that? I love Lilly's moment of recollection about the song, love their conversation... love everything about it, really. I honestly don't know what else to say. I said before you've got the perfect ending to this thing, and I think that's pretty well expressed by the fact that I find myself now completely unable to think of anything to say. Again, it's one of those moments where I can't pick out anything specific, 'cause it has to be taken as a whole... and, again, you've picked the perfect moment to fade out and drop the curtain, so to speak. If it had to end - which all good things must - you got it just right.

So, yea. There it is. Nothing left to say really, except a giant and sincere thank you for sharing this masterpiece with us. It's been one hell of a ride, from beginning to end, and I for one have enjoyed every last second of it. So, yea. I suck at the gushy stuff, but thank you. Seriously.