Fools In Love

[cellogal]

Chapter 21 is up. It's kinda angsty.

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/21/

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For all your qualms, you once again managed to pull off the perfect smiley. Little Blue FYI Guy totally made me giggle.

Given the nature of this chapter, I think I'm going to focus on character reactions more than specific moments in this review, so it may end up leaping from one section to another and back again a few times while I try and bring everyone's moments all together. Though I should make the point that, as ever, you've managed to pull all the threads of different issues and responses and characters together really really neatly, and - as ever - the narrative flow in this chapter is fabulous.

First up... WE GOT FRANNIE!INSIGHT!! This has to be the first fanfic I've ever read that actually made the effort to get into her head. Granted it's just a very brief moment in a sea of other people's angst, but the fact that it's there at all speaks volumes. And, as ever, you've got the characterisation spot-on. As you habitually manage to do with your bit-players, you kinda left me wanting to see more of her, just from those two little paragraphs you gave her. Of course, being swept up in the angst as this chapter quickly was, that was short-lived, but even so an impressive feat.

As to everyone else... I guess the best way to go about reviewing a chapter like this is to go character-by-character, so I shall do that.

Lilly, since she's the main focus - I really like the way she locks herself up, struggles to deny her own issues, yet at the same time can't keep herself from acknowledging them to the point that Stillman and Scotty notice. I love how they're so protective of her, but at the same time don't want her to realise that - Stillman in particular; the "deliberately vague" bit made so much sense given what we know about him, and his understanding of Lilly's issues. All that said, though, I love how - at this point - their concerns are THEIRS and not yet anything she's asked for. She's trying to focus on doing her job, trying to keep her own demons hidden, which is so utterly Lilly of her. I also LOVE how she diffuses her own angst onto Kat, and opts to face the family in her place. It's a great contrast between the two characters, Kat being so open with her emotions and Lilly being so desperate to conceal hers and act like there isn't anything going on at all. Also, and kind of especially, I absolutely adore her line about Scotty, RE not being able to think of him as her boyfriend. So so so so true to situations like that, even with the most mentally stable of people, so I'd imagine it'd go treble for Lilly Rush. That, especially in the wake of her memories about her mother, is wonderfully powerful.

Kat, being the other side of the Female Angst coin... well, heck, you know how much I love the Kat!Angst, so I pretty much loved all of it. I still think "I wanna go home" is the single most hard-hitting moment in the whole chapter. I don't know why, I just do. There's such an exposed rawness in it, it's actually painful. I love that, where Lilly bottles all her issues up and forces herself not to deal with them, Kat just lets herself get overwhelmed because she knows it's bigger than she is, it's a great contrast. I love that Vera's all over-protective and that Scotty just doesn't stop to think that his words might cause her pain, and how - in spite of that pain - she realises it even when Vera doesn't. I just... love the whole dynamic you're building up here, between the two boyfriends and the two girls who, despite being the more angsty, somehow are also the ones who see the situation for what it is. And just, yea... next to Scotty!Angst, I am ALL about the Kat!Angst, and the more the better, so naturally I loved the hell out of it all. But you knew that already, hehe.

On which, the Scotty!Angst... which isn't so much angst as it is Scotty... ishness. His little moment with Stillman is just lovely, how they both express their concerns and their desires to protect Lilly without either of them actually having to say a word. This would've been a lovely moment in its own right however it played out, but playing out in the aftermath to that BEAUTIFUL 'asking for his blessing' scene a couple of chapters back, and the significance of that conversation here... GUH. Again, it's the little moments that hit hardest in this chapter, and again I have no idea why, but that moment between Scotty and Stillman gave more insight into Lilly's issues, somehow, than all of her own angst put together. I don't even know how you managed it, and yet you did. Also love his ignorance in the face of Kat's issues, and - again - Stillman's coupled with that. Scotty and Stillman are very much in the same place through this chapter as a whole, and you've put that across so well. That line about personal issues crapping all over the case resonates SO well, and he once again just doesn't realise that it's as much applicable to himself as it is to Vera. You've somehow managed to get Jackass!Scotty down perfectly, and yet put him across in such a way that his reasons for being that way are so well understood it's impossible to be mad at him.

...unless you're Vera. Who, guh. Compassionate!Vera just makes me melt into a little puddle of "awwww...". Seriously, I just about lost it at "me, too" (and, again, it's the most unexpected moments that get me). This side of him is something we very, very rarely see on the show, but it never fails to make me melt when it does happen, just as it does here. I love this side of him, so much, and you somehow manage to balance that side of him with the Angry!At!Scotty side, perfectly. I love his instant rage, there, his inability to see that Scotty was just focussed, and not being deliberately ignorant. I'm in that wonderful place whereby I can see both boys' perspectives so well - Scotty being caught up in the case and in Lilly's reaction to it, Vera being caught up in Kat's pain and the fact that it's being overlooked, and both of them believe that THEIR concerns are The Most Important Thing. You're building up this fabulous cataclysmic chemistry between the two of them, and I honestly can't wait to see where it goes. *G*

All in all, this chapter is such a fabulous little character study, of all of them - including Stillman, who doesn't get quite enough to get his own paragraph... and even Jeffries whose gentle quietude throughout is just as telling as everyone else's emotional loudness. I love these chapters, where you offer up this giant mass of different perspectives on the same things, 'cause it just serves as this powerful reminder of Just. How. Good. the overall quality of your writing is, and how accurate so much of your characterisation is, too, even in the self-constructed world you've built up. It's AU, and yet it's still utterly believeable. I know you had trouble with the weight of angst in this chapter, and that it overwhelmed you a little, but it came across SO beautifully in the end, and an angstaholic like myself just finds it the pinnacle of awesome. Not least of all because you don't fall into the trap that so many other writers - and even the freakin' SHOW - falls into, and make it All About Lilly. Honestly, I know you struggled with it, but IMHO it's a struggle that pays off like you wouldn't believe. Wonderful, stirring stuff.

Whew. I think I'm done now. Sorry if the paragraphs got a bit extensive... once I started rambling, I couldn't stop. Here's to the next one.

[cellogal]

Chapter 22 is up...

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/22/Fools_In_Love

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Another great chapter, fabulous progression of most characters' mental states in the fallout from the last one.

I love how it opens with Scotty's ruminations about Elisa (and, even after that news video, I still can't pronounce 'Schuylkill'). I think it's only natural than, when having to deliver news of that weight, one's thoughts will return to one's own experiences with that sort of news, especially someone as prone to making himself suffer as Scotty, and his agonies over Elisa - even now, even in a relatively solid relationship as he is in this 'verse - even now, the wound is still fresh when re-opened.

Also much love for his efforts to read Lilly. It's very difficult, when writing two characters, to not paint them as more insightful than they naturally are. If the character is naturally insightful like a few I could name, then it does work... but if they're naturally boneheaded when it comes to things like this, as Scotty would be, then that reflexive insightfulness doesn't work, and it's great to see you opted to show us that off-base side of him, the side that cannot figure out what in the hell is going on, and who is touching all the wrong bases in trying to get to the bottom of it. It's fun to see our characters flailing every now and then, and as usual you pull it off with great flair.

His admiration of Lilly's self-discipline amused me, too. Don't ask me why, but it definitely got a chuckle out of me. Hee.

Lilly's flashbacks... wow. I imagine this must have been quite difficult to write, especially given the very limited amount we actually know about it (which is still way too much for my tastes, but that could be the Lilly!Drama Hate coming out again). I love that it's Stillman who's with her for this, and that he can see right away that something's bothering her and also know exactly what. Back again to the bit where it tends to be reflexive to paint a character as reflexive, 'cause this is exactly the sort of situation in which it does work. He's her father-figure, as we've established, and he knows her and her situation better than probably anyone else... so it's only natural he'd immediately know what was bothering her. Ditto, I love Lilly's refusal to let Stillman see that side of her, the fear of what he'll think; it's natural not to want to disappoint people who have been that kind of figure to you... and again you pull that off with great poise.

Leading on from this, I like the Stillman/Scotty conversation, the gentle pushing from Stillman to get Scotty to do what needs to be done, and Scotty's willingness to comply for the sake of Lilly, but also for the sake of Stillman... and I love how this gets Vera mad, because suddenly it's not just Scotty who's obssessing over The Lilly Thing, it's the boss too... and I'm just a sucker for Protective!Vera anyway, so his little moment was a joy for me. Ditto the way Kat works to diffuse his temper by putting the focus back on Them, and I love how she's completely broken and yet Vera's the only one who can see it because everyone else is fixated on The Lilly Thing. Very reflective of the show proper, I think. *g*.

LOVED Scotty's Shower Moment. I'm still giggling at "MAN Shampoo", and I still find it terrifying how utterly accurate your representation of the two cats are. I love how you've gone for the silly silly memory of Scotty/Vera teasing over the shampoo thing, and yet once again somehow managed to pull that across to make An Actual Serious Point... the part where he misses her. It's so simple, and yet so true. Even if she's right there, she's not There, and there's no feeling more lonely than suddenly coming to that realisation. I felt really bad for him... but then I went back to giggling at "MAN Shampoo".

Annnnnd the 'discussion'. Very interesting in the way it pans out (and I'll admit that the "dammit, Scotty it's not all about you!" moment made me laugh - in part 'cause he's so That Guy... but also 'cause Lilly is the one saying it; heaven knows she'd know something about it, hee). Though, on a more serious note, I do like how that line springboards him into realising that it's actually about her, in a fabulous little reversal of the Elisa angst at the beginning of the chapter. I love how it strikes him, and how she's still in a place where she's refusing to deal with it and with him specifically... and I love love love love how the whole thing ends as if they whole situation had never happened - she's still got these freakin' tensions, he's still trying to figure out what's up with her, and they're both once again throwing themselves into this damn case. It's like nothing ever changes for them, but at the same time, we as readers know that something subtly has.

So yea, another great chapter, with I'm sure many more to come. *applauds, as ever*

[cellogal]

The gloves are coming off in chapter 23...

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/23/Fools_In_Love

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Wow, but that's a lot of awesome to process...

Great opener, with the Lilly/Scotty argument (they're getting good at that, hehe). Some very dark stuff, and I can see why you had trouble writing it, but I think you definitely did the concept justice in the end. I'm a sucker for darkness (I know, duh...), and so I thoroughly enjoyed it both as a setup for Scotty's temper and as an insight into Lilly's character. Once again, my dislike for Lilly and my exceptional hatred for this particular storyline of hers in the show has been utterly overwritten in the face of good writing and finally a realistic way of using those issues in a developmental way (both for her and for Scotty), instead of "here's some more angst for our protagonist, yay!". You've got her thought processes down to an art form, it's remarkable.

Likewise the same for Scotty's development at the end of this scene. I love his responses, his fear of helplessness, which fits in SO well with what we already know about his desperation to save everyone. I love that he decides to take a proactive step instead of dwelling on it, and I love even more the fact that that proactive step nonetheless manages to turn him into an obnoxious narrow-minded jackass. I think it's a natural reaction to being under that sort of duress and having to push your own emotions to the side when you're not used to doing so, and it's nice to see him painted as something other than Mr. Perfect all the time. He says and does stupid things, especially when stressed and exhausted... just like everyone else.

LOVED the Vera/Kat nightmare scene. "Our little girl" will have me squeeing into the next decade, I swear. On a serious note, I think it has much much more effect this way than it did in your original draft with her telling him. I love the vagueness of this, I love that he doesn't need those details to know that they've hurt her, and I love that he doesn't push. A lot of what they have in this story is so quietly unspoken, and yet so hard-hitting just the same, it seems fitting to the development of their relationship as we've seen it that she's still prone to clam up when it's something that deeply personal... and all the more that he doesn't feel the need to question it. A really fabulous contrast to Scotty's needing to know everything; Vera's evolved into someone who understands that sometimes his girlfriend simply cannot let him in, and who accepts that unquestioning. Which, again, is something Scotty still needs to learn.

Love the following scene, too, and the further tension between the two boys. I love how once again Scotty is just SO wrapped up in his own self-involvement that he doesn't realise what he's saying, and I love how Kat understands this but takes it personally anyway. I think you've written her trauma so beautifully throughout these chapters - without ever fixating on it, you've really made the point of just how messed-up she's become, and that just makes it hit home all the harder that Vera is the only one who notices. Granted, like Scotty, he's a jackass in the way he deals with it, but it still really hits home that he's seeing this change in her that is SO obvious and yet is going utterly unnoticed.

I adore her reaction to Scotty's jackassishness, and Vera's inability to understand why she reacts like she does. It's a great precursor to his own jackassishness but - like Scotty's - keeps him in that place whereby his frustration and desperation to do the right thing makes it almost understandable. They're both filled with good intentions, but are both bullheaded idiot males who think with their fists, and all the more so after 24-hours without sleep.

On which, The Fight. How much do I love the fact that it started with a donut? SO MUCH. It's so fitting and yet so tragic at the same time. I love that it's Kat's broken downtroddenness that finally causes Vera to snap, the realisation that she's literally rolled over to play dead and Scotty didn't even acknowledge it, this again highlighted by the fact that she - one of the most argumentative people on the team - runs the hell away when she realises that their conflict is about to escalate. I love that Scotty really can't figure out why Nick is so freakin' obssessive over a damn donut, and I love the way their argument escalates. The way Vera calls Scotty on his crap, the way Scotty is so hyperdefensive about the whole thing, and the fact that it's all fine and good until Nick crosses That Line. The development of the whole argument is just absolutely flawless, how they both start out being jackasses, slowly evolve into Jackasses and finally hit the peak of all-out JACKASSES. I love that they're both right and both wrong, at the same time, and that they're also both too damn stubborn to realise either of these facts. I especially love how Vera goads Scotty into drawing first blood, but I think I've mentioned this to you at length in AIM and this paragraph is ridiculously long already...

So, uh, yea. Fabulous chapter, with so many fabulous little things that all contribute to the inevitable climax. I have my own favourite moments and I have moments that I think are the hardest-hitting, and I have moments that I just think are outright genius... and they all sort of come together here to culminate in something that's just so far beyond anything we've seen before, and that which even so is just so inevitable it really is the only way things could possibly have evolved. So, yea. Outright love, as ever.

[cellogal]

Chapter 24 is up!

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/24/

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As usual, hopefully you'll forgive the 6AM unawakeness of this one.

Once again, you remind us all of how awesome Will Jeffries is. He really does need more opportunities on the show proper to kick some puppy ass, because he does it so well, and it's in scenes and moments like the ones you depict in this chapter that he really does come alive. Well, that and interrogating old ladies, apparently. But, err, anyhow. I think it's only fitting that he be the one to break apart the Scotty/Vera dispute, and I love that you took it a stage further and had him talking them down off the ledge as well... and ditto Stillman, but I'll get to that later. *g*

I love how he takes a slightly different approach with each of the two boys, and yet manages to convince them both that they're simultaneously right and wrong. I also love the way they both become so sulky and petulant over the whole thing. It's not enough they have to kick the crap out of each other, they have to point fingers at the other for starting it. It's awesome.

More than once through this chapter, I wanted to hug the stuffing out of Vera. There is SO more to the squad than just freakin' Lil, and I adore that he came out and said it. Granted his reasons for doing so were pretty much borne of the same motivation as Scotty's reasons for not seeing anything other than Lilly, but it's the thought that counts and at least he had that insight. I love how cool and collected Jeffries is over the whole thing, how he knows why Vera does what he does without even having to ask. He doesn't NEED to ask 'cause he just KNOWS. That is the awesomeness of Jeffries.

With Scotty... eeee. Bringing up Elisa was a stroke of genius, and of course nobody understands that depth of loss better than Jeffries so that moment worked on so many levels. And he's right - it's NOT Scotty's right to know, however much he may want to. Also love how Jeffries comes straight out and makes the point about Kat having a daughter that Vera was too busy snarling to make himself, and how it being laid down on the table for him gave Scotty leave to actually see what an idiot he's been. He's a jackass, but it's nice to see him willing to admit it.

As to the Jeffries/Stillman scene? I don't even know where to BEGIN. Will really is the only man who can talk sense into the boss, I think, and the depth of respect both men have for each other is practically tangible in this scene. I love that you have Stillman thinking of Will as 'his friend', it makes an important distinction between him and the rest of the team... and I love love love love LOVE how Jeffries is willing to call the boss on his crap just as fast as the two boys. Because, yes, Stillman is only human too, and yes, he's just as caught up in things being All About Lilly as Scotty is and yes, he really desperately needs someone to call him on it and tell him to step up to the freakin' plate. Which Jeffries does with extra added awesome. Have I mentioned the 'awesome' yet?

Jimmy the Barista? Is made of win and awesome. And, by proxy, the entire coffee-house scene is made of win and awesome. I honestly cannot think of anything more useful to say about it, but it really, really is. Win. And. Awesome.

Annnnnnnnd the Scotty/Kat scene. Which, GUH. Not only does CC in general need more scenes like this, but the whole freakin' universe does. So much love I don't even know where to begin. Just... everything. The general dynamic between them, the way he finally notices that she's got tears in her eyes, her making the point that looking out for her isn't his duty, his offer to cover for her... and how he appeases her with coffee and chocolate especially... I love the sheer girliness off it, I dunno why, but it makes me smile like you wouldn't believe. And the HUG. GUH, HUG. I can't even... I just can't even. It's simply too awesome for words. Seriously. Every episode of CC should come with a gratuitous Scotty/Kat hug. It should be a law.

Much love too for Stillman insisting they go home. 'Bout time he stepped up to the plate, and I love how he refused to back down to Lilly's whims. Too often he ends up making her a special exception, and she needed the downtime as much as everyone else. I love how Scotty mirrors the boss's previous Look right back at him to keep him from backing down, and I love those general little observations from both Stillman's and Lilly's perspective on the state of destruction that the team have descended into.

I like that Lilly eventually surrendered just like everyone else, and I adore that she was fast asleep before Scotty had the chance to even give her the sandwiches he laboured over. Heh. But yea, I love the way this chapter ends, the peace of it in the premise to what comes next. And I think you did good in not cutting the chapter or shortening it. I think the structure worked well as you have it, and everything flows together in such a way that I can't picture it having been done another way. And, reading it, I totally didn't even notice the difference in length, so I'd say you're safe there. Looking forward to the next couple, as ever.

[elodieusa]

Cellogal, I have been reading your story on fanfiction and I already told you there how much I love it but I thought it would be worse a post on this forum as well ;-)
Your writing is splendid, it flows very well and just seems very natural, nothing forced in the story.
Keep up the wonderful work :-)
And...you do read my fanfiction as well (I am writing the one called "loving mothers" www.fanfiction.net/s/4531325/1/Loving_Mothers)

[cellogal]

Thanks for the reviews, guys!

Chapter 25 is up!

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/25/

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This was a very intense chapter (and a fabulous choice of title, too), with a lot to process... but fabulous nonetheless.

I like how you open with the nightmare, effectively throwing the readers headfirst into the issue at hand. Fabulous follow-on from the previous chapter, and a great way of getting into the crux of the problem without falling into the trap that some of us (*cough*) fall into, of three hundred pages' worth of pre-emptive ramble before actually touching on the issue at hand. Sometimes, the direct approach really is the best approach.

So much love for Groggy!Scotty, and I love how it's not until later that Lilly realises he thinks she's Elisa. It makes so much sense that he'd be so accustomed to dealing with nightmares, given Elisa's condition, and I love that that shows up here; again, you're not afraid to approach and accept the depth of love that Scotty and Elisa shared, even though he's somewhere new with someone new now, and that's so so so refreshing next to so many other one-track shipperfics.

In a similar vein, I love the Ray flashbacks, the gentle sweetness of young love, and comparing that to the suspicious Joseph and finally what she has now with Scotty. You're very good at the comparative stuff - comparing experiences and people with each other, and that shows through here beautifully... likewise, I love how she turns her observations on Scotty back to him, what he hasn'tt old her and what she knows about him as well as what he knows about her. Extra props for her observation that Scotty can't tell when his bull-in-a-china-shop routine isn't gonna work. So true.

Scotty's waking-up section is fabulous; I love how he has dim flickering memories of having been disturbed during sleep, and piecing together what had actually happened. I also love how he kicks himself for not being awake enough. Like it's his fault, which we all know it's not, except him. Silly man candy.

Love the scene where she tells him. Powerful and blessedly understated. I especially like how she opens by demanding that he NOT feel sorry for her. He really needs to hear that, because at this point he's doing more damage than he is good, and someone needs to put him in his place. Only fitting, really, that it's her when she's the one who knows all the details, too. Anyhow, I also like the progression from storytelling to breakdown, and how she collapses in the end - very significant given that it's the first time she's told this story willingly, almost like she's given herself permission to break down and to let him be the one to catch her.

And, yea, "why were you out so late?"... there is no way this can end well, hehe. Excellent work as ever!

[cellogal]

Chapter 26 is up!

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/26/

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Another powerhouse chapter!

Love the opening section... Scotty's knowledge that he needs to be alone to process his angst and that Lilly needs to sleep. And his thoughts? Wow. A wonderful, wonderful new insight into the whole "The Woods" melodrama... showing things from a perspective we don't often get in fanfic - the non-shippy Scotty perspective... which, in the midst of one of the shippiest shippyfics on the planet, is quite an astonishing feat.

Also much love for his self-blaming cycle; I'm a sucker for that particular character trait, as you well know, and it works so well here... and, as Lilly pointed out, Textbook Scotty. Of course he'll blame himself, 'cause it's NOT his fault. Silly Man Candy. More to the point, though, I do love that Lilly realises that, that she knows him well enough now to see that in him and love him both for and in spite of it. I love how she is able to make him see sense in a way that she probably wouldn't have a few months back; it's evidence of how far you've brought these two, and how well developed they are as a couple by this point, despite all their angst. And the whole part where neither of them really sleep, but just lay there holding each other? So beautiful.

The confession... which I realise on scrolling through for reviewing purposes is a loooooong section, and yet the awesomeness thereof cannot be stressed enough. It so doesn't seem as long as it apparently is when actually reading it all proper-like. Anyway. I love that it's Lilly and Kat who do the interview, I love Protective Vera and Scotty, and I love how Scotty doesn't keep it together half as well as the two women who - by all rights - shouldn't be keeping it together and yet are. Great contrast between the four, and I just absolutely ADORE that wonderful "moment in a glance" between Kat and Lilly at the end - Lil has her moment with the interrogation, Kat gets hers with the handcuffs. Again, the fact that these two Get It in a way the boys don't (or possibly can't) is just so so fabulous.

Scotty/Stillman moment? GUH. So much perfection on both their parts (and hee, fax machine!), and you've captured that almost-but-not-quite father/son vibe between them so well. They have a mutual (yet totally different) love for the same woman, and the respect they have for each other as a result of this - on top of their usual professional relationship - is awesome. I love that Stillman knows what's going on, and how he shares his thoughts with Scotty just as Scotty shares his. It's really... touching, in an unexpected way. If that makes any kind of sense.

As to the last couple sections... well, what can I say?! In the first, a lovely moment made all the more so by the simple bluntness of Lily's "I just love you so much". Simplicity and brevity really are wonderful gifts sometimes, and you use them so well in moments like these - sometimes it's the smallest sentence that carry the greatest weight, and this is the perfect example of that. Everything they've been through over the last few chapters, culminating in one plain sentence. I honestly can't express quite how powerful that one line is.

The rest... wow. I personally think it leads on wonderfully to what we have to look forward to in the upcoming chapters. Subtle enough that the right people will be taken aback, and yet at the same time there's enough of a build-up here that it'll make perfect sense when it comes down. And this is again me having trouble expressing myself all cryptic-like without giving anything away. I love your characterisation of Scotty in particular, his desperation, the good mixed with the bad to create this... well, what we see here. I love Lilly's response, her awareness of who and what he is at that moment, and how much he needs her, and her willingness to be that person for him. Again, she loves him, and it's as much a gesture of love for her as it is the other thing. A great ending, in more ways than one (*g*), and one that I think paves the way to some very interesting stuff.

Awesome stuff, as ever. Looking forward to the next one? What do YOU think?

[cellogal]

Chapter 27 is up...

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/27/

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First up, LOL appropriate smiley. Second up... wow. Wow. That was... wow. Did I say 'wow' yet...? Hope you're not expecting this review to be detailed or coherent, hehe.

Loved how you opened with Lilly's observations, the suggestion that there's something not right in Scotty's drivennness effectively paving the way for the rest of the chapter. I also find it quite amusing that she's distracted by the hunt for food, but I have no idea why this amuses me. I do love that she's the one cooking again, though; it's something that she doesn't do, and yet with him and through his help (and that of his family) it's something she's slowly coming to do as if it's second nature.

Scotty waking up to the cats is priceless. Have I mentioned how much I love your cat!characterisation yet? 'Cause seriously, even that is second to none. On a more sober note, though, the humour being instantly eclipsed by the Elisa!Nostalgia is sadly poignant, and so beautifully-written. Doesn't dwell on it too long, and yet it's there - ever present - in the back of his mind, just as it should be.

Lilly's reaction to his Look is priceless. He's very very good at that, I'd imagine, hehe. But yea, I think you're doing a very good job at this point of expressing the crux of his state without giving everything away - giving us enough to know that something's not right in his head, and enough of a baseline idea of why that is and what it relates to, that it makes sense to now see him doing... err, what... he's doing. Likewise, his "you got no idea what I'm capable of" evokes a sort of simultaneous "GUH" and "ACK" response, which is wonderfully effective.

I love the decline of Scotty's mindset throughout, you've done a great job of making it clear that he's been working his ass off (so to speak) to remind himself that she's alive and to distract himself from his own dark thoughts, maybe even make himself feel alive in the process, and it develops so slowly and yet so agonisingly clearly that it's almost painful when he finally gets that moment where he can't hide it from her anymore. You've given such fabulous insights into his mindset, throughout the kitchen antics, and the way you worked in the button to add to his issues is just utterly masterful. The way he's moved from seducing her to simply begging her is just heartbreaking, and that isn't a word I thought I'd use for a chapter like this one...

The part where they actually talk? GUH. And it's such a Them conversation. I love that their relationship is at that point where they do talk things out - eventually - like grown-ups instead of letting things fester, and I love that it's Lilly who pushes him to talk... I think, for all her obnoxious ice-queen BS on the show, we do get those moments where she's open and honest, even in canon - her admissions in "Fly Away", her blunt honesty with Ellen's boyfriend in BLF... so here it gives the air that she knows what she's talking about, and all the more so with her own venture into the realm of Talking About Her Angst fresh in this story's mind. I think this scene resonates really well with that one, where she was the one opening up, and I think it serves to highlight just how well you've got these two working together, in an emotional sense. Again, it's something that is so much easier to do in fanfic than it is in canon, and yet you're one of a very very very very tiny number of writers out there who actually pull off that connection between them believably... and for that I thank you. *g*

Anyway. LOVE the ending, the note of promise, the fragile almost-optimism you close on. Those sorts of moments are among your strongest points as a writer - and there are a LOT of strong points in competition here, so that's saying something - those moments of almost unspoken affection and understanding in the wake of the big storm. I know you feel you have trouble with the angstier side of things, but you paint it so accurately that, when moments like this do come at the end, the whole journey comes full circle in this deeply fulfilling way. Of course, that could just be the angst-addict in me speaking, as I love the reconciliatory moments almost as much as the angst itself... but even so, it's still a beautiful ending.

Looking forward to the next installment, as ever!

[cellogal]

Chapter 28 is up...

www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/28/

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You'll forgive me if this one is shorter than usual; it's early and I'm feeling lousy this morning, but I really wanted to get a review knocked out before work, so... ...Anyway, as ever a great chapter, with some much-needed fun after all the angst.

I like Lilly's intro, her shift from melancholy nostalgia over the Woods to the realisation that somehow Scotty's worked his way into her heart. I love that she has to stop and remind herself that he loves her, and the "enough reasons to flip out already" bit made me laugh. I like that she's able to put aside now the things that have been preying on the back of her mind, and just relish what she has for what it is... 'bout time these two were able to do that.

Also love the banter after Scotty wakes up, him making the distinction between needing and wanting and her playful response, and his surprise at the realisation that she used to shoot pool. A sweet funny moment, of which we've not had very many these last few chapters, so seeing this chapter so filled with them was kind of a breath o'fresh air. Not that the last few chapters have been at all unfresh, but... well, you get what I mean, right? A change of pace. Or, y'know, something.

Also love the moment with the ring. I know why you put it in, but I think you're right: in context, it does work. And, who knows, maybe we did need that moment where his thoughts on the subject come to the forefront. Either way, it's a lovely, well-written scene and fits in here just perfectly, so there's certainly nothing but good that came of you feeling obliged to write it.

The game of pool / one-upsmanship was brilliantly executed - the start, the escalation, and the interruption. I'm probably gonna have to gloss over the specific awesome details here, 'cause this is a situation in which they pretty much speak for themselves in the story itself, but it was a complete and utter joy to read. The banter between them is totally natural and completely in-character, and the flirting and escalation thereof is a nice continuation of the previous scene, minus the dark and twisty. Sort of a counterpoint to that, I guess... either way, it's simultaneously sweet and their brand of steamy. That being said, kinda glad they got interrupted, heh.

On which, so much love for Kat bribing Jeffries. I kind of feel bad for him, having to miss his two-weeks-planned evening, but it's worth it to see her owe him anything. And I adored that she had to make the distinction of 'anything legal'. Poor woman really will do anything to protect herself, and I love how you've focussed on that hyper-defensiveness ('cause you know just how much of a sucker for that side of her I am), and just totally run with it. So much love.

Love the wind-down and the end. I kinda wish we could've seen more of the evening panning out, but I can understand why it wasn't necessary and doubly so given the length of the chapter. I do like that we got to see that all is well between Scotty and Nick, and enough to see Kat utterly chagrined by Jeffries's snark, and that's good enough for me... for now, anyway. Heh. And the end-end was sweet. I'm starting to wonder if Man Candy will ever calm his raging libido, but it works in this case for a sweet ending, and a nice underlining of the need/want conflict, with his realisation that the only thing he has to prove is love. Aww.

Anyway. Looking forward to the next one... obviously.

[gee]

loved Very Good! Keep it up! ;D

[cellogal]

Thanks, guys! I really appreciate the reviews!

Chapter 29 is up...


www.fanfiction.net/s/4404565/29/

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How much did I love this chapter? Well, not QUITE as much as the car scene, but a whole lot nonetheless.

;D

I may have to review little bits out of sequence to keep them thematic, so here's hoping it makes sense. In the first I adore the whole ongoing fax machine saga - great shout-out to the show, and as ever you take a small moment and make something hugely awesome out of it; I utterly adore Scotty's cockiness about the whole thing - he pwns the fax machine, and therein he pwns the world. Soooooo Scotty. I just about died laughing at the 'Latin charm' bit... and just... yea, the whole thing. It's so awesome that you somehow managed to make the fax machine into a character in its own right, and I love the different degrees of frustration shown by Lilly and Vera respectively. "There's no paper jam!!", indeed. And, of course, the question regarding its gender... ROFL. Seriously, that's the most cohesive response I can come up with, it was just that funny.

As for the Kat/Vera stuff... uhm, EEEEEEEEEEEE!! just about covers it, I think. Your Vera!Insight is amazing, seriously. We seldom get to see that softness in him on the show, and it's such a wonderful thing when we do see it... and you've managed to encapsulate that seldom-shown side of him so well here. His introspection at the beginning was just utterly beautiful. The little lullaby moment was so so so so beautiful, and I love that you made the distinction of how it's not just the beauty of the moment itself, but the fact that he's been deemed worthy of seeing it - that the most closed-off, hyper-defensive, guarded woman in the universe, somehow trusts him to see that... just so so so so beautiful.

Leading on from that... the proposal? *melts*. The single most perfect way for that to happen, ever. Seriously. I cannot put into words how much I love that scene; I want to say it's my favourite scene in this fic thus far, but I'm sure there have been so many equally wonderful moments, I feel like I'd be neglecting some other equally awesome stuff if I actually went and said "best scene ever" (which is more than I can say for the show, 'cause, seriously...). Anyway - love this scene so much. Love how freakin' appropriate the donut!proposal is, love her reaction, LOVELOVELOVE how he knew to ask Veronica's permission without even thinking about it, 'cause he just knows her That Well by this point. Love that he knows that's where her doubts come from without her even having to say a word - looooove how you've described the way she lights up and still tries SO HARD to cover it up and be Miss Tough Chick Of The Universe, and how she Just. Can't. Do. It. Just... I love this entire scene. It's awesome, awesome, awesome, and sooooo beautifully written. Love.

And then there's some case stuff, which is awesome in a slightly different way. You know how much I'm looking forward to the roadtrip, and you've built up to it nicely. Your pacing when it comes to outlining case stuff is just fabulous - I know you worry when it comes to outlining case stuff, but it's so well thought-out and so carefully constructed it all makes perfect sense and blends together with all the personal stuff so neatly, it was like reading an episode. Again, the pacing is perfect, the blend between case and personal, the amount of information on case-related things we get, and the amount of personal stuff that intercuts it to make it that little bit more digestible - masterfully done. And, while I'm all about the roadtrip, and while I'd be desperately looking forward to it no matter how much or how little build-up you give, you've nonetheless made it such a convincing lead into what is no doubt going to be the most kickass few chapters ever, that the whole thing comes along naturally. I realise this is me rambling and repeating myself a whole lot, but I'm not quite sure how best to express what I mean. Hopefully that makes some sense, anyway.

I think that's everything. There's lots of little moments I've not mentioned - Kung-Pao Chicken (HEE!), blind dates (HEEE!), and a handful of other things... but my not having remembered to mention them all just means there's too many for my feeble mind to keep hold of - doesn't make them less awesome, by any count. Or, y'know, something. *g* Either way, you KNOW how much I am looking the hell forward to what comes next. 'Cause, seriously... eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Oh, and thank you SO much for the shout-out! Much appreciated. ;D