Post by Naj on Mar 14, 2007 13:45:03 GMT -5
If you find any other online story generators, please post a link.
It all started when our cliche, protagonistic figure, Lilly Rush, woke up in a disease-infested jungle. It was the ninth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly displeased, Lilly Rush slapped a potato, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). A few unsatisfying minutes later, she realized that her beloved Dead Victim Picture was missing! Immediately she called her annoying fellow worker, Vera. Lilly Rush had known Vera for (plus or minus) 550,000 years, the majority of which were curious ones. Vera was unique. He was outgoing though sometimes a little... abrasive. Lilly Rush called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Vera picked up to a very unctuous Lilly Rush. Vera calmly assured her that most legless puppies grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually scandalously panic *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Lilly Rush. Why was Vera trying to distract Lilly Rush? Because he had snuck out from Lilly Rush's with the Dead Victim Picture only six days prior. It was a curious little Dead Victim Picture... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Lilly Rush got back to the subject at hand: her Dead Victim Picture. Vera shuddered. Relunctantly, Vera invited her in, assuring her they'd find the Dead Victim Picture. Lilly Rush grabbed her refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Vera realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Dead Victim Picture and he had to do it aimlessly. He figured that if Lilly Rush took the nappy, busted-out hatchback, he had take at least five minutes before Lilly Rush would get there. But if she took the Philly Squad ? Then Vera would be really screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Vera was interrupted by three annoying cats that were lured by his Dead Victim Picture. Vera shuddered; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling frustrated, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and recklessly groped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the magical cornfield, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Philly Squad rolling up. It was Lilly Rush.
----o0o----
As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at Seven-Eleven to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so she knew she was running late. With a skillful leap, Lilly Rush was out of the Philly Squad and went sassily jaunting toward Vera's front door. Meanwhile inside, Vera was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Dead Victim Picture into a box of bananas and then slid the box behind his hammock. Vera was stunned but at least the Dead Victim Picture was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Vera indiscriminately purred. With a calculated push, Lilly Rush opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some insensitive self-righteous as* in a best-in-its-so-called-'class' sedan,' she lied. 'It's fine,' Vera assured her. Lilly Rush took a seat conveniently far from where Vera had hidden the Dead Victim Picture. Vera yawned trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Lilly Rush was distracted. In a tragically predictable turn of events, Vera noticed a dimwitted look on Lilly Rush's face. Lilly Rush slowly opened her mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Vera felt a stabbing pain in his ear when Lilly Rush asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Dead Victim Picture right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A pestering look started to form on Lilly Rush's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ninja stars from when she used to have pet long-haired sea monkeys. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Lilly Rush nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Vera could react, Lilly Rush aggressively lunged toward the box and opened it. The Dead Victim Picture was plainly in view.
Lilly Rush stared at Vera for what what must've been three millseconds. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, Vera groped scandalously in Lilly Rush's direction, clearly desperate. Lilly Rush grabbed the Dead Victim Picture and bolted for the door. It was locked. Vera let out a enchanting chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Lilly Rush,' he rebuked. Vera always had been a little selfish, so Lilly Rush knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Vera did something crazy, like... start chucking live hand grenades at him or something. Absolutely thrilled, she gripped her Dead Victim Picture tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Vera looked on, blankly. 'What the heck? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Lilly Rush. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame ten days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Lilly Rush. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Vera walked over to the window and looked down. Lilly Rush was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, Lilly Rush was struggling to make her way through the disease-infested jungle behind Vera's place. Lilly Rush had severely hurt her double chin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cats suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Dead Victim Picture. One by one they latched on to Lilly Rush. Already weakened from her injury, Lilly Rush yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cats running off with her Dead Victim Picture.
About two hours later, Lilly Rush awoke, her taint throbbing. It was dark and Lilly Rush did not know where she was. Deep in the inhospitable swamp, Lilly Rush was barely lost. Happy as a frickin' monkey, she remembered that her Dead Victim Picture was taken by the cats. But at that point, she was just thankful for her life. That's when, to her horror, a oversized cat emerged from the bush. It was the alpha cat. Lilly Rush opened her mouth to scream but was cut short when the cat sunk its teeth into Lilly Rush's fingernail. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Lilly Rush's lungs, but not before she realized that she was a failure.
Less than five miles away, Vera was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Dead Victim Picture. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened potato. With a heroic thrust, he buried it deeply into his prostate. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Lilly Rush... wishing he had found the courage to tell her that he loved her. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the Dead Victim Picture that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant cats, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end.
www.the-elite.net/---/story/
It all started when our cliche, protagonistic figure, Lilly Rush, woke up in a disease-infested jungle. It was the ninth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly displeased, Lilly Rush slapped a potato, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). A few unsatisfying minutes later, she realized that her beloved Dead Victim Picture was missing! Immediately she called her annoying fellow worker, Vera. Lilly Rush had known Vera for (plus or minus) 550,000 years, the majority of which were curious ones. Vera was unique. He was outgoing though sometimes a little... abrasive. Lilly Rush called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Vera picked up to a very unctuous Lilly Rush. Vera calmly assured her that most legless puppies grimace before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually scandalously panic *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Lilly Rush. Why was Vera trying to distract Lilly Rush? Because he had snuck out from Lilly Rush's with the Dead Victim Picture only six days prior. It was a curious little Dead Victim Picture... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Lilly Rush got back to the subject at hand: her Dead Victim Picture. Vera shuddered. Relunctantly, Vera invited her in, assuring her they'd find the Dead Victim Picture. Lilly Rush grabbed her refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Vera realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Dead Victim Picture and he had to do it aimlessly. He figured that if Lilly Rush took the nappy, busted-out hatchback, he had take at least five minutes before Lilly Rush would get there. But if she took the Philly Squad ? Then Vera would be really screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Vera was interrupted by three annoying cats that were lured by his Dead Victim Picture. Vera shuddered; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling frustrated, he skillfully reached for his ninja star and recklessly groped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the magical cornfield, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Philly Squad rolling up. It was Lilly Rush.
----o0o----
As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at Seven-Eleven to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so she knew she was running late. With a skillful leap, Lilly Rush was out of the Philly Squad and went sassily jaunting toward Vera's front door. Meanwhile inside, Vera was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Dead Victim Picture into a box of bananas and then slid the box behind his hammock. Vera was stunned but at least the Dead Victim Picture was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Vera indiscriminately purred. With a calculated push, Lilly Rush opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some insensitive self-righteous as* in a best-in-its-so-called-'class' sedan,' she lied. 'It's fine,' Vera assured her. Lilly Rush took a seat conveniently far from where Vera had hidden the Dead Victim Picture. Vera yawned trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Lilly Rush was distracted. In a tragically predictable turn of events, Vera noticed a dimwitted look on Lilly Rush's face. Lilly Rush slowly opened her mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Vera felt a stabbing pain in his ear when Lilly Rush asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Dead Victim Picture right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A pestering look started to form on Lilly Rush's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ninja stars from when she used to have pet long-haired sea monkeys. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Lilly Rush nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Vera could react, Lilly Rush aggressively lunged toward the box and opened it. The Dead Victim Picture was plainly in view.
Lilly Rush stared at Vera for what what must've been three millseconds. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, Vera groped scandalously in Lilly Rush's direction, clearly desperate. Lilly Rush grabbed the Dead Victim Picture and bolted for the door. It was locked. Vera let out a enchanting chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Lilly Rush,' he rebuked. Vera always had been a little selfish, so Lilly Rush knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Vera did something crazy, like... start chucking live hand grenades at him or something. Absolutely thrilled, she gripped her Dead Victim Picture tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Vera looked on, blankly. 'What the heck? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Lilly Rush. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame ten days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Lilly Rush. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Vera walked over to the window and looked down. Lilly Rush was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, Lilly Rush was struggling to make her way through the disease-infested jungle behind Vera's place. Lilly Rush had severely hurt her double chin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral cats suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Dead Victim Picture. One by one they latched on to Lilly Rush. Already weakened from her injury, Lilly Rush yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of cats running off with her Dead Victim Picture.
About two hours later, Lilly Rush awoke, her taint throbbing. It was dark and Lilly Rush did not know where she was. Deep in the inhospitable swamp, Lilly Rush was barely lost. Happy as a frickin' monkey, she remembered that her Dead Victim Picture was taken by the cats. But at that point, she was just thankful for her life. That's when, to her horror, a oversized cat emerged from the bush. It was the alpha cat. Lilly Rush opened her mouth to scream but was cut short when the cat sunk its teeth into Lilly Rush's fingernail. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Lilly Rush's lungs, but not before she realized that she was a failure.
Less than five miles away, Vera was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Dead Victim Picture. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened potato. With a heroic thrust, he buried it deeply into his prostate. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Lilly Rush... wishing he had found the courage to tell her that he loved her. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the Dead Victim Picture that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant cats, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end.
www.the-elite.net/---/story/
Nice story, Naj!
