Bad Bad Woman (The End)

[stillmanfan]

This story takes place in the 6th season, after the episode ‘Roller Girl’. For this story, Nick has never met Toni Halstead or her son, Andre.

This storyline came from watching an episode of ‘In The Heat Of The Night’ that first aired in the early ‘90’s. The episode concerned Officer Wilson Sweet’s grandfather, Louis Sweet, back in the ‘50’s.

The characters Kimberly Nash, Jeremy Nash, Shawn Nash, Joanie Nash, Cathy Nash, Naomi Nash Mitchell, Roscoe Eckstein, Tracie Rush, Norv Marko, Lauren Doley, Charles Marko, Nancy Marko, Patrick Seau, Marsha Maglaham, Shirley Rivers, and Peter Gwynn, Frank Baker, Nathan Washington belong to me.

I do not own most of the songs. I do not own Cold Case.

The song, ‘Bad Bad Woman’, I created.
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May 31st, 1973

Del Shannon—Little Town Flirt

[Here she comes (here she comes)
Little town flirt (here she comes)
You're fallin' for her
And you're gonna get hurt]

Kimberly Nash was a tall, skinny black woman with long, wavy black hair. She loved taking care of her son, Shawn, and was making dinner in the kitchen when Shawn came in from his room.

“Mom!! What are we having for dinner?” the 10 year old boy asked. He had short hair and was a little chubby.

“Pork chops, mashed potatoes, and carrots.”

“Sounds good!!” Shawn said. His father, and Kimberly’s husband, Jeremy, came home.

“Hi, Shawn. Hi, Honey,” Jeremy said as he rubbed his son’s head and kissed Kimberly.

Jeremy had a small afro, and was medium built and muscular. Shawn went to his room, leaving his parents in the kitchen alone as they talked about his work.

[Yeah, I know it's so hard to resist
The temptation of her tender red lips
But you can hurt, hur-hur-hur-hurt]

“How was work?”

“It was good. I like having two jobs,” Jeremy said happily.

“Good but I want to have a job, too. Shawn is 10 years old and I’m starting to get bored at home.”

“No!” Jeremy said sternly then continued, “I don’t need the neighborhood to think I can’t support my family when I can.”

[Yeah, you can get hur-hur-hur-hur-hur-ur-urt
Foolin' around (foolin' around)
With that little town flirt]

“Come on, honey. What about Trish and Mark Jones? Trish works as does Mark and their kids are about Shawn’s age,” Kimberly said.

“So? They had to support their uncle who is in a home and has no other family to take care of him. We don’t have that. End of discussion.”

Unbeknownst to Kimberly and Jeremy, Shawn was listening in on their argument.

[Here she comes (here she comes)
With that look in her eye (here she comes)
She plays around
With every guy that goes by-y-y-y-y-y-y-y]

A detective put a Missing Persons’ file in a folder that had the year 1973 on the handle of the file cabinet.
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008—

At Shawn Nash’s house 5:30pm-

Shawn was 45 years old, had short black hair, medium built. He and Nick sat the table, as Shawn’s wife, Joanie, set the food on the table as they all ate. Joanie was 43 years old, had short, curly black hair, and was medium built. She worked at a bank. After dinner, she did the dishes then went in the living room to watch TV.

“How are you doing?” Nick asked concerned.

“I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I had chemotherapy two weeks ago, biweekly. I had a rest last week and this week I am having the treatment since my leukemia has reoccurred,” he said angrily then continued. “I want you to find out what happened to my mom, Nick. My dad didn’t want to talk about my mom after she disappeared, and Nick, she didn’t run out on me and my dad. She didn’t! A few weeks ago I went to a club in Cobbs Creek and listened to this singer, Tracie Rush, who knows something about my mom’s disappearance and she knows my mom is dead. Now that dad is gone, I want to know, Nick and I just hope I can be around when you find her.”

“Okay. This singer, she knows your mom is dead? Where is this address and if she’s there tonight, I’ll check it out,” Nick said.

“Okay. You may have to request it, the song is called, ‘Bad, Bad Woman’. When I got there with some friends, she had begun to sing it, but if she sees you walk in during the song, she apologizes at the end.” Shawn got a piece of paper, wrote down the address, and gave it to Nick when Joanie walked in.

“Do you have any stuff from your mom or dad that are in boxes, so I can look through them?”

“I don’t think my dad saved stuff that belonged to my mom, but I know there are lots of boxes in the attic.”

“Maybe tomorrow you can come by and look through them since no one will be home,” Joanie suggested as Shawn shook his head.

“I can do that. You won’t be home?”

“No. I’m going to the hospital in the morning, a friend is going to pick me up at 7:30 and drop me off. I stay the whole day since I have been having symptoms.”

“I’m sorry this is happening. Joanie, this was a very good dinner. Thank you.”

“You are welcome, Nick. Here is the key for tomorrow,” Joanie said as Nick got up and left for his car.

6:45pm—

Nick arrived at the club where Tracie sang. He walked in, saw a bartender he knew, asked a few questions then after he got his information, he left to go back to the squad room. He found a very small file on Kimberly Nash.

“Let’s see, the detective who did the case died in ’97, those who knew Kimberly didn’t want to talk to police. Jeremy told the detective that his wife ran away and her runaway should not be investigated. Great, that will make Shawn happy,” Nick said sarcastically.

Nick put the files on his desk, while the rest of the team was already home, and Nick went to the club to talk to Tracie.

At a club in Cobbs Creek 8pm—

Nick went back to the club where he found a place to talk to the singer privately. Tracie was 12 years old when she heard about a black woman being buried in 1973. When she was little, she had long blonde hair, blue eyes, was skinny, and had a birthmark on her elbow. Now, she had short blonde hair, still had the birthmark, and retained her figure.

She put a piece of paper in Nick’s shirt pocket, then he went to sit down and listen to the song. After the song, they both went to the parking lot and went in their cars and went to her home in Walnut Hill. At her home, she and Nick went in; he sat in the chair, while she turned on the lights in her home, then sat next to Nick in the kitchen.

“So, how did you know about the name of the victim and what happened to her?” Nick asked as he took out his pad and pen.

[Flashback June 5, 1973]

In the neighborhood of Germantown-

While 12 year old Tracie Rush walked past a fenced- in home, she heard two guys talking about a black woman being missing.

“That woman is still missing but I don’t understand why the husband hasn’t been arrested,” the first man said.

“I don’t know but let me tell you, that Kimberly Nash, who is missing, is dead and she will never come home,” the second man said as he held a missing person poster.

“That jerk deserved it, she liked to flirt with guys, that’s for sure. I bet her husband had something to do with it or there should be some signals to the cops that he did it,” the first man said.

“I heard somewhere that the husband doesn’t care but worst off the cop doesn’t even care. Did you hear any of the news on her? Nothin’!! The husband should be arrested for her murder, because usually it’s the husband who does these things,” the first man said.

They both laughed.
[End Flashback]

“Interesting,” Nick said then continued. “I take it you didn’t tell anyone about what you heard.”

“No. At the time, I started to distrust adults since it seemed they would tell my mom or dad something I did. I figured no one would believe me if I told.”

“Can I record your song next time I come into the club? Here is my card and if there is anything else you can think of, call me.”

“Sure you can. Just come in the club anytime after 4pm. Thank you for your card,” she said as they both stood and Nick left for the squad room.

October 23nd 2008 7:30am—

Detectives Scotty Valens, Lilly Rush, and Will Jefferies walked to a coffee shop when they met up with Kat Miller.

“So, what do y’all want?” Kat asked since she offered to buy them coffee.

They made their orders and Kat paid then they walked back to the squad room since it was a block from the coffee shop.

“Where is Nick?” Scotty asked.

“I don’t know,” Will said.

“I would have thought he’d want free coffee but he will not get a rain check,” Kat said with a smile.

They laughed as they got in the elevator into the squad room.

8:00am—

Nick arrived at Shawn’s house, locked the door behind him, then went in the attic to see if there were any possessions left from Shawn’s parents. After an hour and a half, he found a box full of items that Jeremy had put in a box concerning Kimberly. Then he found quite a few more things then put the items in a box and took the boxes downstairs, then went to the car, and put them in the back seat. He went back in to clean up in the attic, and then came downstairs when he heard a voice shout.

“Hold it right there!!”

[stillmanfan]

Nick looked at the two officers as he slowly walked down the stairs since they faced him with their guns drawn.

“I’m a police detective.”

“Take your badge out slowly,” the first officer told him, then radioed no more backup was needed.

“Alright,” Nick said. He slowly took his badge out and flashed it to the officers.

After a few moments they put their weapons in their holsters and realized that Nick was a detective. They also got verification from Joanie that she allowed him in the house to take some stuff. After the officers left, Nick locked the door and left for the squad room, hoping the incident wouldn’t be found out.

At the squad room—

Nick carried the boxes into the elevator when his cell phone rang. After the cell phone stopped ringing, he got to his desk then it starting ringing again, and he put the boxes on the desk.

“Damn it.” He looked on the screen that showed John was calling, again.

Nick just didn’t want to deal with John at the time.

At a coffee shop—

John sat next to Will as he called Nick again.

“Nick. I want you to meet us at the coffee shop,” he told him the address then hung up a few minutes later.

“Is he okay?”

“I think so, perhaps he’s just having a bad day,” John said hopefully.

Awhile later Nick arrived so John gave him and Will their assignment, even though they both noticed Nick didn’t seem himself.

“You okay?” John asked.

“Yeah, just stuff going on, that’s all.”

“Well, I want you and Will to do an interview for the Macklin case.”

“Okay, Boss,” Nick said. He and Will headed off for the car and Nick offered to drive.

After they finished their interview, they went back to the squad room.

“Nick, if you need to talk, you know, I’m here for you,” Will said as he noticed during the interview Nick was quiet, just taking notes.

“Thanks. I just don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Okay.”

At the squad room a few hours later—

Nick checked out some witnesses on the computer who refused to talk even though the detective had made notes of who he suspected. It was reported Kimberly Nash was wearing jewelry, a very short black skirt with a pink blouse, and a red or maroon shawl when she disappeared. Nick got a court order for any phone and financial records of those concerned with the case. Since it was 4pm, he went to the club to see if Tracie was singing. She was there, so he recorded her song to listen later, then went home for the day.

Friday, October 24th, 9am—

Nick went to the home of Shirley Rivers, one of Kimberly’s best friends. In 1973, she had short braided hair, was medium built, and was tall. She has retained her short braided hair, and her figure. She and Nick sat on the chairs in the living room as he asked her questions.

“How well did you know Kimberly?”

“I knew her since elementary school.”

“Did she have any marital problems?” Nick asked as he took notes.

“The only issue that caused friction for Jeremy and Kimberly was that she wanted to go to work and he was against it.”

“Do you know why he didn’t want her to work?”

“No. But…”

“What?” Nick asked.

“Well, you see…”

[Flashback]

February 16, 1973—

[Begin song Del Shannon—Little Town Flirt][/b]

Kimberly went to Shirley’s house in her favorite short dress with some jewelry on, and lots of lipstick and eye shadow.

[Yeah, I know she's gonna treat you wrong
So your heart just better be strong
'cause you can hurt, hur-hur-hur-hurt]

“What on earth are you wearing?” she asked shocked.

[Yeah, you can get'a hur-hur-hur-hur-hur-ur-urt
Foolin' around (foolin' around)]

“I’m going to tell everyone that I am better then them and that I have a wonderful husband.”

[With that little town flirt]

“You better be careful, you might make them mad.”

“Oh, no it’s okay. I think they like it.”

[I know a'how you feel
You think her love is real
You think this time she'll be since-e-e-e-ere]
[End song]

“Does Jeremy know?” she asked worried.

“What he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, regardless.”

“Ah, don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“Why doesn’t Jeremy want you to work?”

“Cause he thinks it would embarrass him and feels women should stay home. He is still in the ‘Leave It To Beaver’ era, I’ll tell you that.”

“Well, it’s going to be awhile before we get to do what we want to do.”

“Seems like it took generations for blacks to have rights.”

“I just hope it doesn’t take generations for women to have rights.”

[End Flashback]

“When she went missing, I just had a feeling that maybe those she taunted killed her. I never thought Jeremy did it.”

Nick asked her a few more questions, left to interview another friend of Kimberly’s, then went back to the squad room.

11am in the squad room—

Nick helped out his squad on another case, then when Lilly and Scotty, and Will and John left to do interviews, Nick decided to listen to the recording he made of Tracie singing.

‘Bad, bad, woman.
Bad, bad woman
Story of Kimberly Nash’s killin’
She pimped herself in her Chevrolet
She went to the Badlands with her trash talkin’
Bad, bad, woman
Bad, bad, woman
Talkin’ about her special clothes and
Showin’ off her crystals as diamonds
Drivin’ from North Philly to the far North East
Drivin’ from Old City to Germantown
Showin’ off acting like a flirt
And bein’ a dumb black woman’

“What in the hell are you listening to?” An angry voice was heard.

[stillmanfan]

Nick turned off the recorder since the song was finished, then turned towards a very angry Kat Miller.

“I’m working on a case and someone wrote a song about it.”

“I thought you were turning into Archie Bunker by listening to racist music. I sure as hell don’t know want to know what Will can do to you, if he hears you listening to that crap.”

“I won’t play it here.”

“Good.”

Kat went to her desk, as Nick put the recorder away and finally got the financial and phone records of those in the case and there was nothing that stood out. Nick decided to go to the last known neighborhood of Charles Marko since there was no known address for him or his mother.

1000 S. Randolph Street—the former neighborhood of Norv, Charles, and Nancy Marko--

Nick arrived and got out of the car. He canvassed a few homes, but kept being told they had moved in within the last 10 years and didn’t know who the Markos were. At the last house, there were two men, one black, one white who were on the front porch talking when Nick walked up.

“Hi,” Robert Engstrom said as turned towards Nick. Robert’s friend, Marion Moynihan looked towards Nick as well.

“Hi, which of you live in this house?” Nick asked.

“I do. Can I help you with something?” Robert asked.

“I’m Detective Vera, Philly Homicide,” Nick said as he flashed his badge.

“A cop!!” Marion Moynihan said then ran. Nick put his badge away and ran after him.

“No way in hell that fat cop will catch him. He’ll be back,” Robert said to himself. He sat on the porch, which he liked to do during the late afternoons.

After running for a block, Nick then got tired and started to breathe hard and stopped to catch his breath.

“Guess today is his lucky day.” Nick muttered then continued as he walked back to the home. “I need to lay off the Philly cheese steak and fries.”

After a few minutes he arrived back at Robert’s home then walked up to the porch.

“I guess you didn’t catch him, huh?” Robert asked as he and Nick stifled their laughter.

“No. Just a habit that I got into,” Nick said as he sat on the chair next to Robert.

“So how can I help you?”

“How long have you lived in this house?”

“Five years. I’ve put the porch in recently just to make it look nicer.”

“I’m looking for the people who lived in this house back in ’73; there is no record of them after ’81.”

“Wow, that’s interesting. Are they in trouble?” he asked curiously.

“No. Their names just came up in the investigation. Do you know if any of your neighbors have been here since maybe ‘80 or ‘73?”

“There are two neighbors who I have talked to and they’ve said they have been here since at least ’71.” Robert said then continued as he pointed to the homes. “His name is Jeff Bromes, Sr. and the other neighbor is Lauren Doley. Jeff said he moved here in the ‘70’s and Lauren since maybe ’71. I haven’t seen Jeff recently but I talked to his son, Jeff, Jr., in the last few months and his dad was in ill health at the time.”

“How long ago did you talk to Jeff Sr.?”

“I want to say no more than six months ago.”

“Okay. Thank you for the information,” Nick said as he left for his car.

Nick drove to the Bromes’ home, then called for information on Jeff Bromes, got out of his car, and rang the doorbell.

“Yes?” A tall, skinny woman, about 45, answered.

“Is Jeff Bromes, Sr. here? I’m Detective Vera from Philly Homicide.”

“No. He died just a few days ago.” The woman said then continued. “Why are you looking for him?”

“My condolences. I was talking to one of your neighbors who told me that Jeff was at this house back in ’73 when a witness I am looking for lived on this block.”

“Thanks. Oh, I see, sorry.”

“Thank you.”

Nick went a few doors down from the Bromes and knocked. A few minutes later he sat on the couch as Lauren sat in the chair across from him. Lauren was black, had short wavy hair, and was a little on the chubby side.

“How can I help you?”

“I’m looking for Charles and Nancy Marko. I know Norv was killed in a car crash in 1981.”

“Are they in trouble?” she asked.

“No, their names came up in an investigation concerning a case.”

“I can tell you that Nancy and Charles moved after Norv died and I haven’t heard from them since.”

“How well did you know the Markos before they moved?”

“Norv had one hell of a temper and sometimes I thought he was abusive towards Charles and Nancy. He did get arrested for disorderly conduct and it seemed that trouble just followed him.”

“Do you know any of their friends?”

“I know Charles had a friend named Peter Gwynn. But he moved in 1975, so I don’t know if they are still in contact.”

“Okay, thanks.”

October 24th 4pm—

Nick left for the squad room and did a search for Peter Gwynn, who was the Captain of the San Diego Police Department, then Shawn’s daughter, Cathy walked in. Cathy had shoulder length black hair, was medium built, and had some small beauty marks on her cheek.

“Nick?” she said quietly as he turned around.

“Yes.” Nick said then he turned and saw it was Cathy then continued. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes. You don’t have to find my grandmother,” she said. Will walked in, took notice of the conversation and sat at his desk.

“Oh, no. I want to help your dad find his mom, and so does he.”

“But aren’t you busy with other cases?”

“No, I am not and I can work this case alone, too.” Will pondered what case Nick was on as he quietly looked on.

“But it was a long time ago and it’s in the past. Why dig it up?”

“So we can make things better for those who want to know.”

“But she probably just ran off and you are just wasting your time,” Cathy said then walked away to go in the elevator area.

“Yeah, even Jeremy thought she ran out on him and his son,” Nick muttered to himself.

Nick heard someone sternly clear his throat, then he turned and saw Will was at his desk.

“What case are you on?”

“Case of Kimberly Nash’s disappearance and her son is my friend whose father recently died,” he said then gave him the files.

“Does the lieutenant know you are on this case?” Will asked as he raised his eyebrow.

“No, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Nick said as Will looked over the files and Kat walked in and sat at her desk.

“Nick, you are too close to this case,” he told him.

“Are you taking me off this case?” Nick asked annoyed as Kat turned towards Nick and Will.

[stillmanfan]

“I’m just saying I’d like to work with you on this case,” Will said.

“Sure, I was going to ask you anyway since there were a few witnesses who didn’t like me or the original detective on the case.”

“Oh, so they want a black detective, is that it?” Will said surprised as Kat went back to work.

“Yeah.”

“How did this case get re-opened?” Will asked.

“I’ve known Shawn for years, he always talked to me about wanting to know where his mom went. His dad, Jeremy, told the detective at the time she had ran off so over the years he didn’t show he even cared. Shawn just recently found out his leukemia came back and is having chemotherapy and he doesn’t know how long he has to live. A few months ago Shawn went with some friends to listen to this singer who sings this really racist song about Kimberly Nash’s killing and apparently, Kimberly is dead.”

“Who were you talking to?”

“She is one of Shawn’s daughters. He and his wife Joanie have another one, Naomi. She is married. Cathy and Naomi feel whatever happened to their grandma is in the past and it should be left there. Joanie supports Shawn and wants him happy but I don’t know how she really feels about the case.”

“I’m sorry about Shawn.”

“Thanks. I need to make a call,” Nick said.

“I’m going to go do some interviews Monday, but I want to read over the files since it’s the weekend,” Will said then took the files and left for home.

“See you Monday, Will,” Nick said.

After Nick got the information he wrote it down then decided to go visit his friend, then leave for home.”

October 27th 7:30am—

Nick did some further research on the computer on the information he had written down. He noticed Will come in the squad room with the files.

“Well, looks like I’ll be sitting out on a street corner today,” Nick said as he walked up to his desk.

“I’m going to go do some interviews concerning your case, Nick.”

“Okay, Will, thanks.”

Awhile later Nick arrived on a street corner where drug users and prostitutes roamed. He brought a chair to sit on, and when cars passed by, he showed them his badge, then they screeched their tires and drove off. After a few hours, a woman walked up to Nick who was very angry he was there.

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” she snarled. She was white, wore a low cut shirt with very short shorts, and had blonde hair.

“I’m looking for Katrina Haskins.”

“Katrina Haskins!! What the hell do you want with her? Don’t you want me instead?” She smiled at him as she started to sit on his lap.

“Get off me now. I think she may have information on someone I am looking for. I am not interested in having sex either.”

“Give me your card and I want $50 because I know someone who will give her the card,” she said with her hand out. Nick took out his card then his money then she continued. “And just so you know, she goes by the name of ‘She-Ra.”

“She-Ra? Thank you for letting me know. There you go. The number there is the cell that she can reach me.”

“Thank you!” She walked away.

“Well, I guess I’m going to have to wait for her to call.” Nick got his stool then left for the squad room.

Thursday October 30th 9am--

Nick arrived at the squad room. He looked up information for other cases then a few hours later he got a call and left for Germantown. Once he arrived at the hotel, he went up to the room and knocked.

A black woman with very short, curly, black hair, blue eyes, and a very skimpy dress opened the door.

“Yes?”

“Are you She-Ra?”

“Who is asking,” she asked.

“Detective Vera, homicide,” Nick said as he flashed his badge then she let him in.

“Oh, hi. I’m She-Ra.”

“Hi. Why are you named She-Ra?” He walked in as she sat on her bed and crossed her legs.

“Because I want to make a joke about Prince Adam who is white then changes to He-Man who is light skinned. When Princess Adora changes to She-Ra, she doesn’t change colors, I mean go figure.”

“That’s true. I do remember those two shows.”

“What do you need to know? I will also need $50 like I told you on the phone.”

“I am looking for Charles and Nancy Marko.”

“Are they in trouble?” she asked.

“No. They may have some information about a case I am working on.” Nick sat on the chair.

“You won’t find them if you look up their names. They changed it after Norv was killed.”

“They did?”

“Nancy is now Lynn Gorezelanny and Charles is Adrian Gorezelanny. It was like they wanted to get away from their past, especially when they moved.”

“That would explain why I couldn’t find them. How do you know this? Can you spell the last name please?” Nick said then asked. She spelled out their last name.

“I have a friend who knows and talks to Lynn from time to time. I think they knew something about Norv and just wanted to get out of town but they never said what they suspected.”

‘Thank you.” Nick gave She-Ra $50 for the information then left the room and went to the car.

Nick got back to the station and noticed John was on the phone in his office, Kat was at her desk while Will, Scotty, and Lilly were out of the room.

Nick looked up the name he was given, then wrote down the addresses where Lynn and Adrian live when Lilly, Scotty and Will walked back to their desks.

“Nick, are you going to Jones tonight?” Lilly asked.

“Nope, I will be doing other things.” Scotty walked to his desk when he heard what Nick said. Will went to talk to John who was off the phone.

“I bet you will see a girl. Come on, tell us who it is!” Scotty said with a grin.

“No. I don’t need to tell you who it is and I don’t have a girlfriend either.”

Nick took his files he printed out on the Gorezelannys and how to get to where they lived and left for the car. A half hour later Scotty and Kat went to do an interview while Lilly and John went to check on a homicide in Walnut Hill.

An hour and a half later Will decided to see what Nick was up to and made a phone call to him.

“Nick, where are you?”

“On my way to Pittsburgh to speak to a witness,” Nick said.

“What? Who is with you? Kat?” Will asked confused then saw Kat and Scotty walk in.

“No. I’m going alone.”

“Nick! You think that’s a good idea?” Will asked him pointedly.

“I’ll be fine. I got the hotel room ready and I want to get this done.”

“I would rather you think about this Nick. I’d hate to tell John what you are doing if he asks and I will not lie either.”

Nick sighed, “I’ll be fine. Besides I’m just doing an interview.”

“Alright but I’m willing to go with you if you do change your mind.”

“Thanks but I can do this on my own.”

“Okay.” Will hung up, disappointed his colleague would just leave to do an interview that was out of town, alone.

October 31st at 9:00 am—

Scotty and Kat were at their desks, when John walked in to his office then a few minutes later he walked out to talk to them.

“Has anyone heard from Will and Nick?”

“No,” they said.

[stillmanfan]

“Perhaps they are doing interviews,” Scotty said.

“Well, they still should call in,” John said as he looked at his detectives and noticed Lilly walking in with files in her hand.

“You’re right, we’ll call them in a half hour if they don’t call,” Kat offered.

“I’m sure they are fine,” John said then walked into his office.

“What’s going on?” Lilly asked as she gave Scotty one of the files.

“Boss is wondering where Nick and Will are and they haven’t called in,” Kat said.

“I’m sure they are fine,” Lilly said.

“Haven’t they come in this late before?” Kat asked.

“Yes, but at least one of them has checked in,” Scotty said.

“So who do we need to interview?” Lilly asked as she started to talk about the current homicide case.

“We need to interview the kids who weren’t home at the time we came over,” Scotty said.

“Let’s go visit the school then,” Lilly said. They went to talk to John to get his suggestion, then they left for the school.

A half hour later Kat made a phone call to Nick, since she suggested if they didn’t come in within a half hour she would call them.

“Nick. Is Will with you? He is? Where are you? Boss has been asking where you and Will are and its 9:30. Did you forget to come in today? Okay. Bye.”

When Kat walked over to the computer and sat down, she noticed John was on the phone as she looked up the home of a person who knew the homicide victim.

Awhile later Kat left to get something to eat when Scotty and Lilly walked in and saw John walk out of the office.

“Finally heard from Will and Nick.”

“Are they okay?” Scotty asked.

“Yes, apparently they are on their way to Pittsburgh to interview a witness then to Cleveland to talk to another person then they will be back home.”

“Wow, that’s a long drive,” Kat said as she snickered and John left the squad room.

“Didn’t Will have a stakeout tonight?” Scotty asked.

“Yes, but I’m taking his place and we already cleared it with the lieutenant in charge of the stakeout,” Lilly said.

“But, not the boss?” Kat asked.

“What he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him,” Lilly said.

“Alright, just hate the boss to be mad at you and Will,” Scotty said.

“I can handle it,” Lilly said then continued. “I handled it when he had me in a deep freeze when I went out with a guy who was supposed to be dead.”

“But it was months ‘til he forgave you,” Scotty said as he smiled at her.

“That’s true,” Lilly said with a bigger smile.

“So, why did Will have to go with Nick? Nick just being a pain in the ass and not want to wait ‘til after Will did the stakeout or something?” Kat asked.

“I have no idea,” Scotty said as he and Lilly walked to the lunch room and made their coffee.

Meanwhile on the road to Pittsburgh—

“So, what happened with the witnesses who didn’t want to talk to me?” Nick asked after they had been chatting for awhile.

“They just don’t trust white cops just like some blacks don’t trust whites.”

“So, did they have anything we can use?”

“No. They just said they didn’t know Kimberly but heard things that a guy with the last name of Marko killed her after she flirted with him and a bunch of others. Oh, and I did listen to the song that Tracie sang.”

“Where did you listen to it?”

“At home.”

“What do you think of the song?”

“Other than being racist, I think Kimberly is dead but we really don’t know for sure. Even if Tracie did overhear some guys talking.”

“I’m glad the Lieutenant who is handling the stakeout approved Lilly taking your spot.”

“Yeah. Well, don’t expect John to like this when he finds out and to be honest, I think you could have waited ‘til tomorrow. But I am sorry about your friend.”

“Scotty didn’t want to go, did he? I couldn’t ask Kat since she and her daughter were trick or treating. Lilly didn’t want to go with me either.”

Nick sighed as Will closed his eyes and Nick continued to drive.

532 Arthur St. in Pittsburgh at 2:30pm—

Nick and Will arrived at the home of Lynn Gorezelanny and knocked. A black woman with gray curly hair, medium build, and wrinkles on her face, answered the door.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Hi. I’m Detective Vera, this is Detective Jefferies from Philadelphia Homicide. Were you once Nancy Marko?”

“I do not use that name anymore but come in,” she told them as they walked in.

Back in 1973, Nancy used to have straight black hair, was slim built, and had some beauty marks on her face.

“What can I do you for?” she asked them as she sat on the couch and they both sat on the chairs across from her.

“We were wondering why you moved and changed your name?” Nick asked.

“I don’t know why but I think my husband, Norv did something really bad but he didn’t want to move. So when he finally died, Charles and I decided to move.”

“Do you know who Kimberly Nash is?” Nick asked.

“I know of her name since I remembered she disappeared and it was right around that time that Norv suddenly became happy. I never asked him why.”

“Was he ever abusive?” Will asked.

“Yes. Especially when he was drunk but I made sure that Charles never turned into his father and he hasn’t.”

“Did Charles ever express to you that Norv hurt him?” Nick asked.

“No. But there was this one time where Charles seemed scared or nervous after he spent the day with his father and he never said what it was. He told me that his father never hurt him, but I don’t really know.”

“Do you have any possession of Norv’s?”

“I think so. Do you want to come over tomorrow and I can maybe give you some boxes?” She asked.

“Sure,” Nick said then continued, “Maybe call us if you do find anything.” Lynn nodded.

After a few minutes the detectives finished their questioning then left for a hotel in Cleveland, Ohio.

That night at 2576 Butterwing Rd at 6:30pm—

Nick and Will walked up to the door and knocked. A woman answered; the detectives asked for Adrian Gorezelanny since they didn’t know if the woman knew Charles’ real name. She went to get him then he answered the door.

“Yes?”

“Detectives Vera and Jefferies, Philly homicide. We like to ask you about your father and a woman who went missing in 1973. Can we come in?”

Adrian looked at them.

[stillmanfan]

Nick and Will walked in and sat on the couch while Adrian sat across from them.

“Why did you and your mom move?” Will asked.

“Because we wanted a fresh start after my father died and felt that he did some things that got people angry,” he responded.

“I talked to your friend, Peter Gwynn, still remembers you after all this time,” Nick said.

“Yeah. He did send me mail but I didn’t respond because I kept losing the envelopes but I’m sure he had a better life than I did. I was jealous of him and glad he didn’t have to hang around me when my dad was around.”

“Did your dad ever hit you?” Will asked.

“No. But he was verbally abusive at times, especially when he was drunk. I knew some of his friends though and never really liked some of them.”

“Which friends did you know?” Nick asked.

“Yeah. I do remember one particular one, I don’t know why, but I hated him. I know hate is a strong word, but he just rubbed me the wrong way.”

“Did he hurt you?” Will asked.

“No. But do you have a pad and pen?” he asked then continued after Nick gave him a pad and pen and he started writing. “These two guys, Frank Baker and Nathan Washington were friends of my dad and I thought they were okay. But Patrick Seau, I always felt he was kinda crude and didn’t seem to like stuck up blacks,” he said then continued as he looked at Will, “Sorry, Detective Jefferies.” Will nodded.

“Did you ever hear your father say anything about anything he did?” Nick asked.

“Yeah. Mom was visiting a friend...”


[Flashback]

June 4th 1973—

Charles walked into the living room when he saw his dad talking on the phone with Patrick Seau. The chair his dad was on had its back to the hallway and the kitchen. Charles was black with short dreadlocks, and a teenager’s build, though he had been working out.“Yeah Pat, I took care of her and some friends of mine buried her and no one will ever know where she is buried and they won’t even find her.” He laughed.

Charles was very quiet as he continued to listen in but he was disappointed.

“Oh, I seduced her on some street and let her know that she should be staying at home and not flirting like some floozy. I even had sex with her and took her jewelry and her shawl that she had then I called Frank and Nathan after I was done with her. They told me that they buried her in an area that was being developed and when they find her, there won’t be much of those bones of her left in maybe a hundred years. When that woman went missing, I told Nancy that if she ran off on me like that, I would hunt her down and hurt her and no matter what happens, I am the boss.,” The doorbell rang so Norv went to get it. Charles hid so his father wouldn’t see him. “Hang on.”

“Hi Norv,” Frank said as he walked in. Frank was black, had very short hair, and was bulky.

“Let me call you back Patrick, Frank just came in.” Norv hung up. Norv and Frank went in the kitchen since Frank had a bottle of beer.

“How are you doing?” Frank asked as he opened the beer and Norv got one from the ‘fridge and opened one.

“Good. Glad we took care of her. How did the burying go?”

“Fine. No one saw anything. Besides even if someone did, we can say I don’t know anything about that. That house is almost built, so they can’t dig it up unless they get a court order.”

“How did you know that about the court order?”

“Remember when a friend of mine got arrested, he stated where he hid the body and they had to get a court order to dig it up.”

“That’s right.” Norv was a bit uneasy about Frank.

“So, here is to taking care of a woman.” They raised their glasses and took a drink.

[End Flashback]

“I can’t imagine how that must have made you feel,” Nick said somberly.

“I just don’t want to think about it, to be honest. But after that conversation Patrick and my dad didn’t hang out as much and I always wondered why. I do have stuff that my dad had I found after he died and I hid it from my mom. You guys can keep it because I don’t want it back. Can I go get it?”

“Sure,” Will said.

After a few minutes Adrian gave them the boxes then the detectives went to a hotel for the night.

November 1st 6am—

They checked out of the hotel then went back to Lynn’s home so they could retrieve Norv’s things she had found that she felt could help the investigation. Will drove back home since Nick had driven up to Pittsburgh and Cleveland.

November 3rd 7am—

Nick looked up Frank and Nathan to see if their murders were solved, which they were. They were killed by a man named Roscoe Eckstein, who died in prison, but not before he had confessed to the killing. Nick noticed in the detectives’ notes they felt Roscoe knew something, and a deal was even offered in exchange for information, but Roscoe never gave up anything. Nick then got the financials pertaining to Norv as well as phone records.

Meanwhile at an eatery at 7:15 am—

“What is going on with Nick? He declined breakfast and went down into the cold case storage room,” Lilly asked.

“Girl troubles, that’s what it’s gotta be,” Scotty said with a smirk.

“Where is Will?” Kat asked.

“Right here,” Will said as John also arrived.

“You haven’t ordered yet, have you?” John asked.

“Nope.”

They gang ate breakfast and chatted while Nick finished up on looking in the files of the murders of Baker and Washington. He got to his desk to look up the names of people John told him about, then looked up the case files and went to do an interview.

10:30am—

Nick arrived to see John in his office motioning him to come in. Nick went in, closed the door, and sat down.

“Yeah, Boss?”

“What is with you and Will taking a trip when Will was supposed to do a stakeout?”

Nick looked at him surprised.

[stillmanfan]

“Well, I started to leave and do the interview by myself, but Will suggested that was a bad idea and stated he would go with me.” Nick sighed then continued, “I was in a rush to get the interviews done.”

“Why were you in such a rush to do the interview?”

Nick told him about Shawn’s leukemia and the chemo that had sapped his strength. Nick told John he wanted to help find his mom before Shawn died, then he was excused from the office. He saw Lilly and Will at their desks when he sat down, then he told Will about the murders he looked up. He told Lilly about the interviews since it was her case that she was working on. Lilly didn’t look at him but she thanked him then he sat at his desk when Kat and Scotty came in.

“Lilly, can I talk to you in the conference room?” Scotty walked over and asked her quietly.

“Sure.” They walked in the conference room and Scotty closed the door.

“Kat told me that she didn’t like that I wasn’t willing to go with Nick to Pittsburgh and Cleveland and felt I was very selfish. She told me that you had a date but since I didn’t want to go, you had to cancel it and I’m sorry that I ruined your date. She actually said Nick was also selfish and told Nick that but Nick got a bit upset for some reason.”

“Yeah. Well, Nick did try to talk to me about why he had to do the interview but I didn’t really give him a chance ‘cause I’m still mad at him. Thank you, Scotty. I really appreciate that.” Lilly smiled.

“Maybe you should give Nick a chance and see what he says. I wanted you to know I didn’t mean to ruin things for you. Is your date willing to give you another chance? Maybe I can talk to him and persuade him to give you another shot.”

“That’s okay Scotty, he and I are going out tomorrow night, I asked the boss for tomorrow night off and he gave it to me.”

“Good.” Scotty smiled then they both left the room for their desks as Lilly tapped Nick on his head when she walked by.

Nick looked towards her but went back to his reading since she said nothing. Nick looked up the address of Patrick Seau and wrote it down then walked out of the room when John asked Lilly, Scotty, and Kat to come in his office. A few minutes later Nick talked to Will about John.

“Well, the boss knows about our trip.”

“He does? The lieutenant who was in charge of the stake out must have told him but I hope he wasn’t too upset.”

“No. But I told him about Shawn and he hoped I could find Kimberly before he died.”

“How is Shawn, Nick?”

“Bad shape, I’m not sure I can find his mom in time. I’m going to get some coffee,” Nick said.

“Nick, I didn’t tell Lilly about Shawn because I didn’t know how she’d feel about why you were trying to get this interview done and the case closed. John didn’t ask me about the trip either.”

“Thanks. I’m not sure how she’d feel about my reason ‘cause I’ve tried to talk to her but she won’t listen.” Nick went in the bull pen, got his gun, went through the door, and into the elevator.

3pm—

700 block of 10th Avenue in Prospect Park

Nick went to Patrick’s home, knocked, then once the door opened he asked for Patrick and identified himself. Patrick let him in and Nick talked to him for a few minutes.

“I want to ask if you have any information about a black woman being buried in 1973.”

Patrick looked at him as he realized he needed to talk about it. “Well, I want to ask you about these guys first, that okay?”

“I’ll try to answer it the best I can, depends on who you want to ask about.”

“Are Norv Marko, Frank Baker, and Nathan Washington dead yet?” Patrick asked worried.

“Yes. Norv was killed in a car crash in ’81, Nathan and Frank were killed in July of ’73 by a parolee.” Nick noticed Patrick seemed relieved to hear what Nick told him.

“Okay. I can help you,” Patrick said as he sat down, and Nick joined him, with his folder of paper work and pictures next to him.

“How did you know Norv Marko?”

“We were friends since junior high but let me tell you, he was a great guy then.” He sighed then continued. “I don’t know what happened and what made him such an angry person.”

“Did he tell you how he killed her?”

“He said he took care of her by seducing her on a city street and had sex with her.”

“Did he say what she was wearing?”

“No. I felt bad for Charles and Nancy though and I hope they never find out what Norv did but I think somehow they did. Are Charles and Nancy okay?”

“Yes, they are fine. What made you not want to hang out with Norv after he boasted about taking care of a woman?”

“I just thought it was repulsive that he killed her and I told him that I was busy with my family and that’s why we couldn’t hang out. I did have a young son at that time and a beautiful wife. And it scared me at the time to think that someone could just kill like that.”

“Where is she buried?” Nick asked.

“She is buried in a basement of a home in the 400 block of Crum Lynne Rd in Ridley Park. At the time of the building, it was as you go down the stairs, it’s at the wall, right hand corner.”

“How do you know where it is?”

“You see, after they left, I went to check it out. I undigged it then I found a hand. I put the dirt on it again then ran off.”

After a few minutes Nick left for his car then checked his phone since he had turned off the ringer. He then headed to the squad room to fill out some paperwork then was told by John he had to work on some interviews in the morning.

November 4th 2008 8:30am—

Nick didn’t do any interviews but talked to Will as he was very happy to tell him the news while Kat and Scotty were at their desks.

“I got the information as to where Kim is buried. And I have looked up the address too, and you won’t believe who the home belongs to now.” Nick laughed.

“Are you serious?”

“You better talk to John about this.” Will laughed as Lilly walked in.

“I’m buying coffee, what do you guys want? Write it down,” Lilly offered to buy Nick, Will, Kat, and Scotty coffee as they wrote down what kind of coffee they wanted; Nick hoped Lilly wasn’t still mad but he wasn’t sure.

A few minutes later she came back with the holders as they noticed that one cup was missing.

“Where’s my coffee?” Nick asked.

“I ain’t getting you coffee, lazy. Get your own,” Lilly said as she smiled and Scotty laughed when he took his coffee. Kat and Will looked at Nick but didn’t laugh.

“That’s fine, ‘cause I didn’t want any. Lazy.” Nick was annoyed but he starting looking over his files for the Nash case.

“I thought the boss told you to do interviews,” Lilly said.

“What? I am not doing your case, and I am not doing any interviews,” Nick said annoyed.

Will and Scotty went to do interviews while Kat and Lilly walked to the interrogation room to talk to a witness.

Nick went outside to get his own coffee then he got a call from Joanie.

“Hi Joanie. Say what? Okay, I’ll check up on him and if he just forgot I’ll take him to the hospital. Bye.” Nick then walked over to the car and drove off to Shawn’s house.

Twenty minutes later he got out of the car, walked up. and unlocked the door. He got in, called his name then looked in all the rooms downstairs and the basement. He went upstairs as he had a gut feeling he wasn’t going to like it but checked all the rooms and finally went in the master bedroom.

“Hey Shawn? You have your chemo today, I’ll take you as long as you don’t tell my boss ‘cause I can get in lots of trouble if he or the higher ups find out.”

[stillmanfan]

Nick briskly walked over to the bed and shook him. “Shawn. Wake up. You can’t go now! No. Shawn. I’m about to find your mom!”

Nick turned, leaned on the side of the bed, took his phone out then took a deep breath and made a call to dispatch for an ambulance and an ME. Nick made another call to Joanie and told her that Shawn had died. A few minutes after the paramedics had determined he was dead, the ME arrived to check the body and take it to the coroner’s office then Joanie came home to see Nick at the doorway as the body was wheeled out.

After twenty minutes Nick left for the squad room and he was very disappointed he couldn’t let Shawn know that he had found his mom. Nick walked in quietly and went to his desk while the gang talked about the case Lilly was working on.

“Nick, did you do the interviews?” Lilly asked.

“No. I’m not doing your case, I’m working on mine! And you do your own damn case!” Everyone looked up at Lilly and Nick and were very surprised at Nick’s outburst.

“Okay, Nick.” Will said then continued, “Where are the case files?”

Nick handed Will the files of those he was supposed to interview, got up, and walked away.

I wonder if Shawn died. Will thought to himself.

The squad did some interviews then a few hours later Will saw Nick walk in then walked up to him, “Can I see you for a second?”

“Sure.” Nick and Will walked into the empty break room.

“What’s wrong?” he asked his friend who didn’t look happy.

Nick sighed, “Shawn died.”

“I’m sorry, Nick.”

“Joanie called me earlier when Shawn didn’t arrive at the hospital for his chemo treatment. He was still in his bed when I found him.”

“What are you going to do?” Will asked.

“There is a funeral that is tentatively planned for Saturday but the details need to be finalized. I’m going to have the boss to be sure and take him off the call roster for Saturday.” Nick laughed then continued, “And hopefully get me a search warrant for someone.”

“John’s gonna love this,” Will said sarcastically.

“Yeah. Speak of the devil.” Nick left the room, took some information about the search warrant, then went into John’s office. Will walked out to his desk as he watched John. Lilly walked up to him.

“What’s so funny?” Lilly asked as she looked towards John’s office.

“Watch John’s expression when Nick tells him.” Will and Lilly watched Nick talk to John.

John and Nick smiled a bit when John said, “Are you serious Nick? My ex-wife lives there!” John gave Nick a piece of paper then Nick walked out.

Will walked away as Lilly looked at Nick curiously as she thought to herself. What is he up to?

Thursday November 7th, 8am—

John saw Lilly, Scotty, Will, and Kat at their desks when he called Will to his office.

“Will, when did you start working with Nick on the Nash case?”

“October 24th, when Shawn’s daughter came over telling Nick he didn’t need to work on finding out where her grandma was. Then after she left I asked him about it and asked if I could help him on it. He took up my offer because there were a few witnesses who didn’t want to talk to police back in ’73 and didn’t want to talk to Nick as they wanted a black detective.”

“I want Lilly and the squad to go over the case since he’s not here just to make sure his judgment wasn’t clouded by trying to help his friend.”

“That’s fine,” Will said as he figured John would have the squad look over his case. Will and John left the office and spoke to Scotty, Lilly, and Kat.

They looked over the file of Shawn Nash.

“Great, I’ve been calling Nick a selfish jerk for making me cancel my date and he’s trying to help his dying friend find his mom,” Lilly said.

“That’d explain why he got mad at me when I told him he was selfish,” Kat said.

“I guess there really is no girl,” Scotty said as he read the file on Jeff Bromes then continued. “Nick went to visit Jeff Bromes, Sr. but it shows he died a few days before the visit.”

“Nick didn’t have that information at the time but was told by a woman at the home,” Will said.

“I think I found a confession,” Lilly said as she looked in the diary and Scotty took notes on it.

“What does it say?” Will asked. Lilly read the confession.

[Jim Croce- Bad Bad Leroy Brown]
[Flashback]

[Well the South side of Chicago
Is the baddest part of town
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a man named Leroy Brown]

May 31st, 1973—

Kimberly Nash drove around in her car with the windows down, showing off her diamonds and perfect nails, and taunting both blacks and whites in the area. That night she drove in the Prospect Park neighborhood, a few miles from where Norv Marko lived. Norv chatted with her.

[Now Leroy more than trouble
You see he stand 'bout six foot four]

“Hi. You sure are a mighty fine looking woman.”

[All the downtown ladies call him "Treetop Lover"
All the mens just call him "Sir"]

“Thanks, sugar, but I got a nicer car than you do and since I’m a woman, I am more special than you.”

“Oh, I see.” He felt angry but he didn’t show it.

[And it's bad, bad Leroy Brown
The baddest man in the whole damn town
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog]

“See my diamonds and earrings?”

“Yeah, but I got something for you.”

[Now Leroy he a gambler
And he like his fancy clothes
And he like to wave his diamond rings]

“Oh, baby, do tell!”

“Go to Ridley Park, here is the address, and I’ll show you a nice car that you can use to show off, baby.”

[In front of everybody's nose
He got a custom Continental
He got an Eldorado too
He got a 32 gun in his pocket for fun
He got a razor in his shoe]

“I’ll be there. When?”

[And it's bad, bad Leroy Brown
The baddest man in the whole damn town]

“We can go now?”

[Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog]

“Sure.” He got in his car and met her at Ridley Park.

[Well Friday bout a week ago
Leroy shootin' dice
And at the edge of the bar
Sat a girl named Doris]

The neighborhood was being built and most of the homes’ basements were either already or about to be made. Kimberly saw Norv there, and pulled over to the side of the road to let him into her car. She let him kiss her, softly at first, then with far more passion. He tugged on her hair, but when she didn’t say stop, he pulled her into the back seat and they had sex.

[And ooh that girl looked nice
Well he cast his eyes upon her
And the trouble soon began
And Leroy Brown learned a lesson
'Bout messin' with the wife of a jealous man]

After a few minutes Kimberly had enough and tried to sit up. She asked about the car, but Norv punched her. She pulled back and stared at him in shock. His eyes were hard, not that of a lover, but something more sinister. His rage building inside, he put a rag in her mouth so she couldn’t scream. He took her jewelry as a trophy and shoved it in his pocket. Then he grabbed her shawl and tightened it around her neck, choking her. He kept pulling tighter and tighter until she didn’t move anymore. He got out, and drove to the unfinished home where Nathan and Frank were.

[And it's bad, bad Leroy Brown
The baddest man in the whole damned town]

“The b*tch is dead, now bury her wherever you want.”

“Got it.” Unbeknownst to Frank and Nathan, Patrick Seau had just arrived and saw the men take a large object out of the back of a car. After the men left, Patrick went to see what they buried. He went to the burial site downstairs and gently began to brush soil aside. He uncovered human remains. Frozen for a moment, he then quickly covered it back up and ran off.

[Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog,]

The men later dumped her car in the Schuylkill River.

[End Flashback, End Song]

“So let’s get a search warrant an--,” Scotty started then was interrupted.

“No!” Will and John said.

“What’s wrong?” Kat asked.

“I have to talk to my ex first,” John said nervously chuckled.

Kat laughed a little as Scotty smiled.

“I got a better idea. Since this is Nick’s case, let him do it. He should get the search warrant and be there when we exhume the body.”

“I agree with Will, we should let Nick do the search warrant,” Lilly said.

“I guess I should be lucky I don’t have to sleep on the couch.” John walked into his office.

Saturday November 9th 9am—

“Hi,” Rita opened the door and was surprised to see who was at her door.

[stillmanfan]

Monday November 11th 8:30am—

John and Will were out of the office. Scotty, Lilly, and Kat walked up to Nick, who was back.

“Hey Nick, Boss told us about your friend and he asked us to look over your case. I’m sorry for picking on you and calling you lazy. That was very nice of you to help him,” Lilly said.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, too,” Kat and Scotty said.

“It’s okay. Will told me that Boss had you guys look in the files that I did.”

“Yeah. Boss just wanted to make sure the T’s were crossed and stuff, you know?” Lilly said when she, Kat, and Scotty went to their desks then Will and John came in.

Nick went to talk to John about his visit to Rita.

“Hey, Boss, how did it go?”

“She said no, we have to get a search warrant,” John said.

“What did you do to her, Boss?” Nick said as he walked away to make a call for a search warrant; John looked at him annoyed.

An hour later, they arrived at Rita’s house and knocked on the door.

“Hi, search warrant,” Nick said as he held the folded paper in his hand.

“Hi, come in.” Rita noticed John came in after Nick.

“So, where is your basement?”

“Here.” She led the way, as Nick and the CSU unit followed.

“Thank you,” Nick said as the CSU unit used ground penetrating radar to see where the body was.

“So, are you guys going to put everything back?” Rita asked annoyed. Nick looked at her a bit nervous.

“Yes, we will,” John said.

“Looks like the radar is picking up skeletal remains.” Nick took a few steps forward as several CSU agents moved some furniture to the other side of the room. They took the carpet up, then got out the jackhammer for the concrete floor. Rita stood silently and fumed.

Meanwhile at the Schuylkill River bank--

Will and Lilly waited for divers to find the car by using sonar equipment, then once it was found, the car was dragged out of the river.

Once the car was out, they opened the door and looked inside. “There ain’t going to be any evidence anyway,” Will said.

“Yeah, too bad we can’t arrest the guy.”

“Statue of limitations on witnessing a body being buried has run out, but that doesn’t change my mind any.”

“I wonder how the boss is doing at his ex-wife’s house?” Lilly smiled.

“I’m sure they are fine. At least it isn’t the home of the commissioner, or a member of Congress, or the legislature, they would have put the wrench in getting a court order.”

“Well, this car will go to the shop to be photographed some more, but I gotta feeling this case is closed.”

“Yeah.”

Meanwhile back at Rita’s—

It took a few hours but the skeletal remains were found and processed to be taken to the ME’s office.

“Wow!! You mean there was a body there all this time?” Rita said surprised.

“Yep. Now she’s gonna be buried next to her late husband.” John patted Nick on the shoulder as Nick sniffled.

[Have You Ever Seen The Rain? -- Creedence Clearwater Revival]

[Someone told me long ago
There's a calm before the storm,
I know!
It's been comin' for sometime.]

Lilly and Will put files and evidence in the box then Will wrote Nash, K. then the date on the box, as well as the file number. Lilly took the box to the box storage room then wrote the word ‘Closed’ and put it in an empty space on the bottom shelf.

[When it's over so they say
It'll rain on a sunny day,
I know!
Shining down like water!]

Charles Marko was fixing a sink when his wife handed him a wrench then Charles got up and gave her a kiss.

Nancy Marko had some friends over as they chatted and played cards as she smiled at them.

[I wanna know: have you ever seen the rain?
I wanna know: have you ever seen the rain
Comin' down on a sunny day
Yesterday and days before
Sun is cold and rain is hot,]

John was at Rita’s fixing up her carpet since his squad had to cut it up then she gave him a glass of soda and he smiled at her.

Patrick Seau had his son and grandson over as they ate.

[I know!
Been that way for all my time.
Till forever on it goes
Thru the circle fast and slow,
I know
It can't stop I wonder!]

Joanie Nash was working at her bank when she saw Shawn smile and she smiled at him as he faded away.

Katrina Haskins was in her hotel room when she let a guy in then police moved in to arrest him.

[I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain
Comin' down on a sunny day?]


Tracie Rush was at the club singing songs she was paid to sing as she noticed the club was very full.

[YEAHHHHH!]

On a day that the sun was out as it rained Nick, Will, Scotty, Kat, Lilly, and Joanie were at the cemetery where Kimberly was buried, trying to stay dry from the showers that fell. The sun peeked through the clouds, and the rain eased. Nick turned as he saw Kimberly look at him, blow kisses with a smile, then fade.

[scottiedog]

I hope you don’t mind some constructive criticism?

Your dialogue is good, it doesn’t feel forced, and it could easily been real people talking. Your descriptions can sometimes be a little redundant though, for example:

After the song, they both went to the parking lot and went in their cars and went to her home in Walnut Hill. At her home, she and Nick went in; he sat in the chair, while she turned on the lights in her home, then sat next to Nick in the kitchen.

You repeat ‘her home’ one too many times, ‘she turned on the lights then sat..’ would have been fine. Here ‘went to the parking lot’ is entirely redundant, because we already know that’s where they need to go if they’re going to their cars. In fact the entire paragraph isn’t really necessary, why would Nick need to go to her house to discuss the situation with her? Couldn’t he just have taken her to one side at the club? If not, a better description would tell as why not, and why he chose to go to her home instead.

Nick went a few doors down from the Bromes and knocked. A few minutes later he sat on the couch as Lauren sat in the chair across from him.

This is much better. It explains what we need to know, skips unnecessarily repeating the introduction we just had and tells us where we are.

“No. Just a habit that I got into,” Nick said as he sat on the chair next to Robert.

I’d have thought the first thing he’d do would be to ask why the guy’s buddy ran. Even if he doesn’t think it’s got anything to do with his case, the guys got a reason to run like that. Perhaps your intention was that Vera assumed the guy was running because he was carrying drugs, and he didn’t want to alienate the other guy by questioning him about it? If so, why not tell us that?

Other than that the scene is good, again, the dialogue was really nice.

“I’ve known Shawn for years, he always talked to me about wanting to know where his mom went. His dad, Jeremy, told the detective at the time she had ran off so over the years he didn’t show he even cared. Shawn just recently found out his leukemia came back and is having chemotherapy and he doesn’t know how long he has to live. A few months ago Shawn went with some friends to listen to this singer who sings this really racist song about Kimberly Nash’s killing and apparently, Kimberly is dead.”

This is unnecessary, the reader already knows all of this and it doesn’t tell us anything new. Better to just say. ‘He filled Jeffries in on the case.’ Or something like that. You do this again later, when Jeffries talks to Stillman, so it’s worth bearing in mind that it’s not necessary, and can be a little off-putting for the reader.

EDIT: Actually, on reflection, this isn’t entirely true. I think the problem here is that you repeat bare boned facts. Perhaps if you mixed up the way he spoke about them, or said something new about these facts - such as what Nick thought about them - it would work better. End of edit.

The case itself is very interesting and made me want to keep reading to find out what had happened, so it was very successful! I really enjoyed reading this, so I hope my comments are helpful to you.

I’ve also noticed that you walk a very fine line between script and novel. Your writing is set out like a novel, but the content is more like a script (it focuses almost entirely on speech and visible action, with very little focus on knowing things that wouldn’t be apparent visually, such as what the characters are thinking). Perhaps you should consider script writing?

[stillmanfan]

Scottiedog,

Thank you very much for your review. I did enjoy writing the story and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.

[scottiedog]

Mar 26, 2011 21:24:20 GMT -5 stillmanfan said:

Scottiedog,

Thank you very much for your review. I did enjoy writing the story and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.

That you enjoyed writing it is the most important thing, but I know it's always good to see other people enjoyed it too :)

I hope my comments are helpful to you if you write another story in the future, and if you do I'll definitely read it!