WEEK 3: Funniest Line/Exchange - NOW OPEN!!

[TVFan]

Nominate up to 5 lines or exchanges from the regular cast or the guest cast. You can nominate mulitple lines from the same episode and from the same character as long as the line/exchange is different. Duplicate nominations from the same member will only be counted once. Be sure to include the name of the episode with each nomination. Here's a link to each episode's quotes page at TV.com to give you some ideas (NOTE: your selections do NOT have to be one of the ones listed at TV.com, it's just to give you some suggestions in case you can't think of any):

Family (No quotes listed)
The Promise
Bad Night (No quotes listed)
Colors
Committed
Saving Patrick Bubley
Start Up (No quotes listed)
Honor
A Perfect Day
Frank's Best
8 Years
Detention
Debut
Dog Day Afternoons
Sanctuary
One Night
Superstar
Willkommen
Beautiful Little Fool
Death Penalty: Final Appeal
The Hen House
The River
Joseph

[byrdman9802]

Hey TVFan! I was waiting for this thread to open up! Thanks, girl!

From "The Promise"

Vera to Scotty: "Early bird catches the scumbag."

Later, Lil to Vera about "Josie chippy" -
Lil: "Heard you've got a crush on the new girl."
Vera: "Yeah, Cupid pierced my heart."

From "Bad Night":
Lil (after talking with Angus' mom) to Stillman: "Come on, I'm fighting for good karma." (or soemthing like that, I may be wrong)

Later, Vera to Jeffries -
Vera: "Do you think I get heated playing cards?"
Jeffries: "Yeah."

[r2k]

Here are my five funniest lines/exchanges

8 YEARS
Lilly: Olivia got chomped by a neighbor dog.
Stillman: (joking) Did he get the other eye?
Lilly: (giving a dirty look) That's not funny!

FAMILY
Nurse: Angie, you didn't come today.
Angie: (crazy look on her face) No, I didn't.
Nurse: It's been three days.
Angie: I'm not taking that poison anymore and I just graduated so you can't make me.

DOG DAY AFTERNOONS
Lilly: You been looking for me?
Scotty: Not me. Some dude on a Harley.
Lilly: Oh?
Scotty: Ray some or other.
Lilly: (after a pause) Oh.
(Everybody goes silent.)
Scotty: (grinning) Must be something personal. (Lilly gives him the look.) Just saying...
Vera: (winking) Guy on a Harley, always sexy.
Jeffries: Sure there's nothing you wanna share, Lil?
Lilly: (to Scotty) Yeah, he shows up again... tell him I'm dead.

JOSEPH
Joseph: (in a flashback to his foster mom) You're the mother of the year, Reba. Thanks for everything.
Lilly: (in the present) Sounds like the same award my mom was up for.

THE PROMISE
Scotty: We've got some questions about the night Laurie Dunn died.
Manny: Well fire away. (Pauses) So to speak.
Vera: Heard about your hog scale party, class act there Herman.
Manny: Not my fault the hephyr had dreams.
*Vera knocks the part of his chair closed.
Scotty: Dreams?
Manny: Of being a Gamma Roe booty call.
Vera: Hey Scotty, you know Jimmy Davis?
Scotty: It's your probation officer, sure.
Vera: He and I went to the academy together. We're like brothers.
Manny: Davis knows I've been dotting my i's.
Vera: Maybe Jimmy finds out you missed a t, tosses your ass back to county.
Scotty: You get to play French maid for all the cons.

[LillyKat]

From "Saving Patrick Bubley":

(to the Preppy guy who was looking to buy while Vera, Jeffries and Scotty were staked out in front of Cartier's stoop)

Scotty: "Are you really as stupid as you are?" [pause, pulls out badge] "No drugs today, Biff."

[witchykitty]

1- Joseph
Lilly: So... Where will you go?
Joseph: The farm for a while. Should I... keep the door open in case you wanna track me down?
Lilly: (smiles) Keep it locked.
Joseph: (disappointed) Alright. Okay. (starts to walk off)
Lilly: I can break in if I need to.
(Joseph grins to himself.)

2- Joseph
Joseph: (in a flashback to his foster mom) You're the mother of the year, Reba. Thanks for everything.
Lilly: (in the present) Sounds like the same award my mom was up for.

3- Joseph
Joseph: Does it... feel like we've met before or something?
Lilly: (deadpan) No.

[TVFan]

1. From Saving Patrick Bubley:
Scotty: "Are you really as stupid as you are?" [pause, pulls out badge] "No drugs today, Biff."

2. From 8 Years:
Lilly: Olivia got chomped by a neighbor dog.
Stillman: (joking) Did he get the other eye?
Lilly: (giving a dirty look) That's not funny!

3. From 8 Years:
May Pearson: On what basis?
Scotty: Obstructing a police investigation -88, New York bench warrant -94.
Det. Nick Vera: And irritating two homicide guys 2006.

4. From Sanctuary:
Ramiro: (about Ana) She was dumb, so she's dead.
Det. Valens: She wasn't dumb.
Ramiro: Okay, she was a genius. She's still dead.

5. From The River:
Det. Vera: You know that witness, Edie?
Det. Jeffries: The ex-junkie?
Det. Vera: She called me.
Det. Jeffries: And?
Det. Vera: That's it. Just saying.
Det. Jeffries: Saying what?
Det. Vera: That in the end I'm not 100% totally washed up in the dating world.
Det. Jeffries: Because a crack ho called you?

[jazzyb]

From "Beautiful Little Fool"
Mickey: "My grandfather was her [Carmela LaFleur] dresser"
Vera: "You mean his job was to put her clothes on (pause, blinks)..her?"

From "Saving Patrick Bubley"
Scotty to college kid: "Are you as stupid as you are? No drugs today, Biff"

[Naj]

Start UP:

Lilly: "At least you could make some money off the little chippy."



From Honor:

Vera: "Could be my last cheesesteak. My wife's been talking tofu."



The Promise:

Vera: "He's cute. French maids do it for me too." (at the faternity with the guy dressed as a maid)


Bad Night:


Lilly to Stillman: "C'mone I've got karma on the line here."


Vera: "Something wrong with the way I play cards?"
Valens: "You get a little heated up is all when things don't go your way."
Vera: "huh?"

[nicky]

Dog Day Afternoons
Lilly: You been looking for me?
Scotty: Not me. Some dude on a Harley.
Lilly: Oh?
Scotty: Ray some or other.
Lilly: (after a pause) Oh.
(Everybody goes silent.)
Scotty: (grinning) Must be something personal. (Lilly gives him the look.) Just saying...
Vera: (winking) Guy on a Harley, always sexy.
Jeffries: Sure there's nothing you wanna share, Lil?
Lilly: (to Scotty) Yeah, he shows up again... tell him I'm dead.

Just one as Not sure what else I see

[sonny]

8 YEARS
Lilly: Olivia got chomped by a neighbor dog.
Stillman: (joking) Did he get the other eye?
Lilly: (giving a dirty look) That's not funny!

START UP:
Lilly: "At least you could make some money off the little chippy."

BAD NIGHT:
Lilly to Stillman: "C'mone I've got karma on the line here."

[KathrynFan]

The River

Det. Vera: (watching Jeffries making origami at his desk) Is that a squirrel?
Det. Jeffries: Japanese crane.
Det. Vera: Looks like a squirrel.

Debut

Det. Vera: So who's coming to Sixers' game on Wednesday?
Lilly: Nah, sorry. I'm not into hockey.
Det. Vera: ... It's basketball.
Lilly: (chirpy) No thanks

[classictvchic14]

from BAD NIGHT:
LILLY: C'mon, I've got KARMA on the line here!

from FAMILY:
VERA: Oh, BITE ME.

from SAVING PATRICK BUBLEY:Scotty: No drugs today, Biff.

SCOTTY: *handing out slushies* Lemon, lemon, and lemon.
VERA: No cherry?
SCOTTY: Juuuust lemon.

from THE RIVER:
VERA:Is that a squirrel?
JEFFRIES: ...Japanese crane.
VERA: Looks like a squirrel.

[Rhi]

DEBUT:
Det. Vera: So who's coming to Sixers' game on Wednesday?
Lilly: Nah, sorry. I'm not into hockey.
Det. Vera: ... It's basketball.
Lilly: (chirpy) No thanks

8 YEARS:
Lilly: Olivia got chomped by a neighbor dog.
Stillman: Did he get the other eye?
Lilly: That's not funny

May Pearson: On what basis?
Scotty: Obstructing a police investigation -88, New York bench warrant -94.
Det. Nick Vera: And irritating two homicide guys 2006.

SAVING PATRICK BUBLEY:
Scotty: "Are you really as stupid as you are?" [pause, pulls out badge] "No drugs today, Biff."

DOG DAY AFTERNOONS:
Scotty: (knocking on the door, interrupting Lilly talking to Ray) Uhh, the boss is looking for you...
Lilly: I need another minute.
Scotty: What should I tell him?
Lilly: That I need a minute! (bangs the door shut)

[angstel]

1- Joseph
Lilly: So... Where will you go?
Joseph: The farm for a while. Should I... keep the door open in case you wanna track me down?
Lilly: (smiles) Keep it locked.
Joseph: (disappointed) Alright. Okay. (starts to walk off)
Lilly: I can break in if I need to.
(Joseph grins to himself.)

2- Joseph
Joseph: (in a flashback to his foster mom) You're the mother of the year, Reba. Thanks for everything.
Lilly: (in the present) Sounds like the same award my mom was up for.

3- Joseph
Joseph: Does it... feel like we've met before or something?
Lilly: (deadpan) No.

[eurache]

Start UP:

Lilly: "At least you could make some money off the little chippy."


The Promise:

Vera: "He's cute. French maids do it for me too." (at the faternity with the guy dressed as a maid)



8 YEARS:

Lilly: Olivia got chomped by a neighbor dog.
Stillman: (joking) Did he get the other eye?
Lilly: (giving a dirty look) That's not funny!


Bad Night:


Lilly to Stillman: "C'mone I've got karma on the line here."


DOG DAY AFTERNOONS:

Lilly: You been looking for me?
Scotty: Not me. Some dude on a Harley.
Lilly: Oh?
Scotty: Ray some or other.
Lilly: (after a pause) Oh.
(Everybody goes silent.)
Scotty: (grinning) Must be something personal. (Lilly gives him the look.) Just saying...
Vera: (winking) Guy on a Harley, always sexy.
Jeffries: Sure there's nothing you wanna share, Lil?
Lilly: (to Scotty) Yeah, he shows up again... tell him I'm dead.

[tiger_lilly]

Frank's Best:
Kat Miller: (seeing the homicide detectives dressed in suits) Dresscode's a step up from narcotics. Guess I better shop.
Lt. Stillman: Well, the clothes are more expensive but the pay is the same. Welcome to homicide.

8 Years:
...Olivia got chomped-conversation...

Superstar:
Lt. Stillman: You doing OK, Nicky?
Det. Vera: I'm going home tonight.
Lt. Stillman: By invitation?
Det. Vera: Ambush.

Willkommen:
Nick Vera: (humming) Come to the Cabaret...
Lilly Rush: I hate musicals.
Nick Vera: Well, you wouldn't if you'd seen me as Danny Zuko in my eighth grade production of Grease. Brought the house down.

The River:
Det. Vera: Is that a squirrel?
Det. Jeffries: Japanese crane.
Det. Vera: Looks like a squirrel.

[longislanditalian2]

Willkommen:
Nick Vera: (humming) Come to the Cabaret...
Lilly Rush: I hate musicals.
Nick Vera: Well, you wouldn't if you'd seen me as Danny Zuko in my eighth grade production of Grease. Brought the house down.

The River:
Det. Vera: Is that a squirrel?
Det. Jeffries: Japanese crane.
Det. Vera: Looks like a squirrel


From Joseph

Joseph- have we met before
Lilly- No

[Lee]

1.
The River:
Det. Vera: Is that a squirrel?
Det. Jeffries: Japanese crane.
Det. Vera: Looks like a squirrel

2.
The River:
Det. Vera: You know that witness, Edie?
Det. Jeffries: The ex-junkie?
Det. Vera: She called me.
Det. Jeffries: And?
Det. Vera: That's it. Just saying.
Det. Jeffries: Saying what?
Det. Vera: That in the end I'm not 100% totally washed up in the dating world.
Det. Jeffries: Because a crack ho called you?

3.
DOG DAY AFTERNOONS
Lilly: You been looking for me?
Scotty: Not me. Some dude on a Harley.
Lilly: Oh?
Scotty: Ray some or other.
Lilly: (after a pause) Oh.
(Everybody goes silent.)
Scotty: (grinning) Must be something personal. (Lilly gives him a look.) Just saying...
Vera: (winks) Guy on a Harley, always sexy.
Jeffries: Sure there's nothing you wanna share, Lil?
Lilly: Yeah, he shows up again... tell him I'm dead.

4. 8 Years
Lilly: Olivia got chomped by a neighbor dog.
Stillman: (joking) Did he get the other eye?
Lilly: (giving a dirty look) That's not funny!

5. The Promise
Lil to Vera about "Josie chippy" -
Lil: "Heard you've got a crush on the new girl."
Vera: "Yeah, Cupid pierced my heart."