"Lilly & Christina"

[Tati]

“Lilly & Christina”

Summary: Everything has a reason… the younger years of sisters Lilly and Christina Rush.

Spoilers: Anything that has already been mentioned on the show can be here.

Disclaimer: You know that one: I don’t own them.

A/N: Guys, this is my first attempt at a CC fic. I beg you for reviews and suggestions.
I'm beginning with Lilly's mom. In the first chapters, Lilly's parents will have a big role, but I'll slowly change the focus to the sisters. Also, the next chapters will have more action and less description.
My goal here is to build a very detailed picture of their past, explaining why these two women (especially Lilly) are who they are today... I hope you'll like it!

[Tati]

Chapter 1 – “A Cold Day in Philadelphia”

It was the worst winter in Philadelphia in the last 10 years. Ellen Rush was walking home after a day of work. Those cold days made her skin even paler that it already was. Her long, dark blond hair was in a ponytail, like she wore it everyday. Ellen’s big brown eyes were shinier that they used to be, but it wasn’t because she was happy. It was the effect of the tears that she was fighting against, since she left the department store where she worked as a saleswoman. She’d been fired.

“The sales have been coming down more and more in last months,” was the explanation from the department store manager, “we’ll have to cut down on employees.” Just like that, with no previous warning.

She tried to explain how much she needed that job. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Rush,” was the only answer she got. She sighed, her heart was beating slowly, all the air she breathed wasn’t enough for all the things that were coming to her mind at that moment.

She walked out of the store with her friend and co-worker – also fired - Jane Martin. The wind was cold and it was starting to snow.

“Don’t worry, Ellen. We’ll find something else soon.” Jane tried to cheer her up.

“Oh, Jane, let’s be realistic. All stores and factories are firing people. We’re not going to find anything.”

“Come on! You can’t think like that. You gotta have positive thinking.”

Ellen laughs. “Yeah. I’d like to see you saying that if you a baby growing inside of you.”

Jane is at first speechless. “Oh my God Ellen… this is great but… is Michael working now? Does he now about the baby?”

“No… he lost his job two weeks ago. And I don’t think this is the best time to tell him that in 6 months we’ll have a very expensive little human being living with us.”

“Gosh, Ellen, I’d like to say I could help you, but I really can’t. In 3 months behind on my house’s rent.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll figure something out.” She said with a very sad smiled and turned away, to walk home.

As she walked, the cold wind against her skin, she started thinking. The last two years after she married Michael hadn’t been easy. But they loved each other. It was such a strong and fulfilling love that made them forget all the problems they had. Times were hard and none of them could keep a job for more than 6 months, but they had each other.

And now they had this baby. She dreamt about this moment since she could remember. Holding her little baby in her arms, with Michael by her side, on their big house, the perfect American family… ”why life never turns out the way we dream it?” She thought, as she arrived at the building she lived. It was a 4-floor building, an old construction, in very poor conditions. On the street, hookers and drug addicts shared the sidewalks. No parent would raise a kid in Kensington Avenue.

***
To be continued

[Tati]

Chapter 2 – "An Angel Named Lilly"

She sighed as she opened the building door. One more sigh for the thought of going up to the 4th floor, where she and Michael lived. As she arrived at the front door of her apartment, she was really tired. She slightly banged her head against the door, thinking about the next months.

She opened the door. Michael was sitting on the couch, silent. She walked and sat next to him, giving him a kiss. His amazing blue eyes, that left Ellen totally speechless, were even sadder than in the last couple of days.

“Hi baby. How was your job interview today?” She asked, but already knowing the answer.

“I didn’t get it. They wanted someone more qualified.” He answered, still not moving. He finally looked at Ellen and smiled. “How was work today?”

She just looked at him. Tears started to grow in her eyes. Michael immediately understood. “Oh, God, honey, don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.” He held her as she cried. And they stayed like that for many hours.

For the following 2 weeks, both Ellen and Michael looked for a job. They’d leave the house early in the morning and come back late at night. But, no luck. Their rent was due in 3 days and there wasn’t many food left. On that night, Ellen went to bed but didn’t sleep. Instead, she did a lot a thinking.

Next day, Ellen’s mind was clearer. All she needed was to be realistic about her situation and do what she had to do. Her eyes were filled with tears as she realized what she had to do. She left half an hour afterwards. Michael was still asleep.

Outside, the winter was still hard to face. Ellen felt as her tears could freeze in her eyes and in her cheeks. She took a bus to the other side of town. She walked a little bit more and stopped in front of a house. “Painted in light blue… this is the place.” She thought. She knocked on the door. A beautiful young woman opened the door for her. “Good morning, Ellen. I’m Lilly and I’ll be with you during everything.”

On those days, a woman had to be really brave to have an abortion. It wasn’t easy to find a place. No one would talk about it. Usually, women did it without the knowledge of their spouses or parents, who would never support them.

Ellen had no idea what Michael would think about this baby. And now… she would never now. “Ellen, I’m going to explain the procedures for you now, ok?” Lilly woke her up from her thoughts. Less than an hour later, Ellen was ready to go, but the doctor was going to be late. She watched as Lilly went through a list, and made a few phone calls.

“How did you meet Dr. Bailey?” Ellen asked. She needed to forget what she was about to do. Maybe talking would help.

“Well, our first encounter was like the one you’re having with him.” She answered, as she sat next to Ellen on the couch. “Dr. Bailey was the only one who helped me when I needed. He’s the father I never met.”

“Do you regret it?” Ellen asked, afraid of the answer. She didn’t want to have second thoughts.

“I won’t lie to you and say I never think about my kid. But it was the right thing to do. But I never had second thoughts when I did it.” She said, and Ellen was shaken because she felt like that woman was reading her thoughts.

Ellen looked at Lilly. The young woman was really beautiful and her eyes were as blue as Michael’s eyes were. Suddenly, Ellen felt a cold shiver down her spine. She got up from the couch, and Lilly did the same. Ellen headed to the door. She then turned.

“Thank you.”

Lilly smiled. “Dr. Bailey’s purpose, and my purpose, is to help women. No matter how.” She opened the door to Ellen.

Ellen stepped outside. Suddenly, she turned around. “Is your name really Lilly?”

“Does it matter?” The young woman smiled, and closed the door.

All Ellen had to do, is what she needed to do.

About 5 months later…..

Michael paced the waiting room. Too many thought on his head. The rent payment – they were 3 months late. They needed to go to the supermarket – but for that, they needed money.

But then suddenly, another thought crossed his mind. He smiles. They’ll work it out. They’ll have to. For the baby.

“Oh my God, it hurts so much!” Ellen screams, inside a hospital room.

“Just one more push, Mrs. Rush!” said the doctor. Suddenly, a baby’s scream was heard.

“Congratulations! You’ve got a beautiful baby girl.” The nurse said to Ellen, who lied down, in the midst of happiness and relief. “You want to hold her now?”

“Sure. Can my husband come in?” Ellen asks.

“We’ll call him.” The nurse leaves and gets Michael. As he arrives, the other nurse has just placed the baby in Ellen’s arms.

“Hey.” He says. “How are you two?” He hold the little girl’s hand.

“We’re fine, fine. Look, Michael, she’s so perfect.” Ellen says. The girl opens her eyes. They’re blue as Michael’s.

“Have you thought about a name?” He asks.

“Lilly.”

“It’s a nice name. But why Lilly?”

Ellen smiles. “Because once I saw an angel named Lilly. And she changed my life.”

***
To be continued

***
On the next chapter: A baby can be really expensive and demanding, and things don’t get better for the Rushs in the work department. Ellen seeks relief in something that might destroy her life. A true love can resist everything… but will it?

[TVFan]

I really like this Tati. It's so different from the other fanfics I've read because it delves into Lilly's upbringing. I'm looking forward to your future chapters. I really like your take on her upbringing!

[Tati]

Thanks TV Fan . Since I started reading CC fan fics, I was hoping to find something about Lilly's past. I was in so much need for this fic that it made me go back to writing (I hadn't written a new fanfic in over two years)!

[Tati]

Now, here's chapter 3 (two posts, couldn't fit everything on the same):

Chapter 3 – "Extreme Measures"

It was 3:00 a.m. Ellen tried to calm down Lilly, who was screaming all night. Well, little Lilly wasn’t the only reason she was up. Michael hadn’t arrived from work yet. Usually, he left work at midnight and was home before 1:00 a.m. But, in the last month, he was always arriving late. Ellen never smelled alcohol in his breath, but she was always sleeping when he arrived. Or pretending she was.

The last two years, after the birth of Lilly, hadn’t been easy for Ellen and Michael Rush. Jumping from job to job, still living in that old building in Kensington Avenue. Their rent was always late, the electricity was rarely working, because they rarely paid for it.

Ellen wasn’t working right now. The factory she worked had closed 3 weeks ago. That left Ellen a lot of free time to be wit her daughter Lilly, and with her own thoughts.

3:20 a.m. From her bedroom, she hears the door opening. Michael enters the bedroom.

“Hey baby, What you’re still doing up?” He asks.

“I don’t what’s happening, she won’t sleep.” Ellen answers. Lilly has calmed down but she’s still crying. Michael picks up Lilly. He lifts her up and plays with her for a while. She stops crying. “You really do some magic on her.” Ellen says. He gets up from the bed and kisses Michael. He hasn’t been drinking. Suspicious thoughts begin to appear on Ellen’s mind. “Why did you arrive so late, baby?” She asks.

“I was working. Some extra hours.” He answers, but not looking directly into Ellen’s eyes. “You know, I’m new there. I have to make a good impression.” He kisses her another time and leaves the room to get something to eat.

Ellen puts Lilly in her crib. She watches the little girl sleep. When she had Lilly, she felt like she had gained strength to fight all her problems. And she really did. But lately, it seemed like her strength had abandoned her. Or maybe her problems were getting bigger? She walks to the bedroom’s door. Michael’s still eating. She goes back inside and closes the door. She opens her small wardrobe and reaches for a bottle hidden behind Lilly’s clothes. She opens the bottle and drinks directly from it. Immediately, she feels her body on fire. She looks at Lilly – who is sleeping now – and lets the tears fall.

2 weeks later….

Ellen opens the food cabinet in the kitchen. It’s literally empty. How could she not notice they were running out of food? From the bedroom, Lilly is crying. She’s hungry. Ellen opens the fridge. There’s some milk, but not enough to feed Lilly. Ellen warms up the milk and gives it to Lilly. She wants more.

“I’m sorry honey… I don’t have more.” Ellen rocks Lilly on her arms. But her mom’s lullaby won’t solve Lilly’s problems. Ellen makes a decision. She changes her clothes, and then Lilly’s, and leaves.

She gets down to the 3rd floor and knocks in one of the doors. A 50-something woman opens the door.

“Good morning, Mrs. Turner. Can you watch Lilly today?” She asks. Lilly is still impatient and crying.

“Oh sure, my dear. Another job interview?” She asks, leading Ellen inside her apartment.

“Yeah.” Ellen answers. “I hope I’ll be more lucky this time.”

“I’m sure you will.” Mrs. Turner takes Lilly in her arms, and watches how much she’s crying. “Are you hungry, my dear?” She says to the little girl.

“I gave her everything I had, but…”

“It wasn’t enough. Don’t worry, Ellen. Go to your interview.” She opens the door to Ellen.

Ellen kisses Lilly goodbye. “Mommy will be back in a few hours.” And then to Mrs. Turner, “Thank you so much, Mrs. Turner. I promise when we get back on our feet, we’ll pay you for all those babysitting hours.”

“Stop that. For me it’s more than a pleasure to take care of this little Angel. She pays attention to what I say, smiles to me… my granddaughter never does that.”

Ellen smiles. “It’s the age, Mrs. Turner. I’m sure I’ll get a lot of bickering from this one when she’s 14.”

She kisses Lilly one more time and leaves. At the street, she looks for someone. She waves as she finds her friend Cher. Cher and Ellen want to high school together. Only at that time Cher used her real name, Alice. But nowadays, she couldn’t. Going by Cher avoided a lot of problems.

“Hey, Ellie!” Cher greets her happily. “How is everything?”

“As bad as they could be, Alice. My daughter is hungry and I don’t food, and I don’t have money.” Ellen says, as they walked to an isolated corner of the street. “About that offer you made me…”

“Changed your mind?”

“I’m desperate for money. And you promised I could to do it like a one-time thing.”

[Tati]

(chapter 3, second part)

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything for you. I’ll get you someone really nice. Actually, he’s coming to meet me in about half an hour.” Cher says as she caresses her friend’s hair. She knew exactly how this moment felt like. “Isn’t Michael working?”

“He is, but what he ears is not enough. Or he’s not bringing everything into his house.” Ellen answers, on a bitter tone.

“No, Ellen, come on. Michael would never cheat on you.”

Ellen watches the people passing by on the street. “And still, look what I’m doing to him.”

Meanwhile, on the other side of Philadelphia….

Three men are sitting and drinking in a bar table.

“I don’t know, man. I’ve been on this job for three months and it’s not being worth it.” Michael says as he pours himself more beer. “Today I had to leave my house without breakfast because the only thing left was my daughter’s milk. I really need more money.”

“Give it time, Mike. You thought you’d get into this business and three months later you’d be buying yourself a house in the suburbs and be telling your wife she doesn’t need to look for a job anymore? It took me over a year to see the money really coming in.” The one that answers him is Dean, a 25-year-old New York native, who, in he’s free time, used his Italian looks to seduce women, going by the name of Antonio. And in his work time, he was know as Tony, the youngest man to ever command the drug business in East Philly. “Look, Mike. I like you. I see a good future for you. But I can’t trust you completely after knowing you for only 3 months. Just do your job as I tell you, and you’ll get what you deserve.” He finishes and lights up his third cigarette in the last hour.

“Yeah, don’t worry man. Anywhere you work, you have to climb your way to success and money, right? In this business, it isn’t any different.” says John-Paul, Tony’s bodyguard and closest adviser. Paulie, as everyone called him, was a 6-feet tall black guy, who was born somewhere in Texas and came up North to search of better opportunities. “You’re not telling your wife anything you shouldn’t, right?”

“Of course not. She thinks I’m working at a construction site. She already has enough problems trying to survive with the money I’m giving her.” Michael lights up a cigarette.

“I didn’t know you smoked, Mike.” Paulie says.

“Mike has finally listened to me. You need to have something that makes you forget.” Tony says, tapping on Michael’s shoulders. He looks at a clock on the wall. It says 11 a.m. “Come on guys. Time to work.”

The three men get up and check their guns. Paulie drops some money on the table and they leave the bar. Michael is the last out. He can’t believe he got himself into this life. But he couldn’t stand anymore to hear his daughter crying because she was hungry, or cold, since her clothes weren’t enough to keep her warm on the winter. One month after he started working with Tony, he brought her a doll. It was hard to avoid Ellen’s questions and complains. “We don’t have money to buy food, and you buy her a doll!” It was what she said. Little did Ellen know that Michael didn’t buy that doll. Tony had his men break into the house of a client who was late on paying for the products he bought. Tony’s men filled two box with things that could possibly be worth something. When Tony picked up the doll from one of the boxes, he tossed it into Michael’s hands. “Here. Take this to your kid.” When he saw the shine in Lilly’s eyes as she hugged the doll, life leaves you nothing but extreme measures.

Now, back to Ellen….

Ellen felt sick as she followed that man through the motel’s hall. He was Gary Booth, a 60-year-old wealthy business man, who loved paying for sex. “Sex is power, sweetie… and the woman’s got the power. Until she’s getting paid for it.” He told Ellen as they drove to the motel.

After they got inside the room, he closed the door, and led Ellen to the bed. They sat next to each other. Gary reaches for Ellen’s face. He tucks her hair behind her right ear. “So, Cher tells me this is your first gig.”

“Yeah, it is.” Ellen answers. She’s terrified by that man’s touch.

“And you got a daughter, right?” Gary says, as he touches Ellen’s mouth.

“Yes, I do. She’s two, and her name is Lilly.”

“After we’re done here, we’ll go buy something for her.” He says with a smile.

Ellen does her best to smile back. “Thanks.”

He gets up and asks, “What do you drink?”

“The same you’re having,” she answers.

Gary goes back to her with a glass of scotch. She drinks it at one gulp. He looks at her for a while, and then says, “Makes it easy to forget, doesn’t it?” She nods, already dizzy from the drink.

She keeps her eyes open as he kisses her. She thinks about Michael. About how much they’ve driven apart in the last couple of years. She used to know exactly where he was, all the time. He didn’t even had to tell her. It wasn’t like that anymore. And it seemed like path with no return.

Two hours later, Gary was over with her. Ellen puts her clothes on, and fights back tears. Gary gives her one-hundred dollars. She hadn’t seem that amount of money in a very long time. “Now, we are getting something for your little girl. Last week I bought an adorable tea set for my nice… you think your daughter would like it?”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll love it.” Ellen says, as they live the room.

About two hours later, Ellen arrives home with groceries. She picks up Lilly at Mrs. Turner house and gives her 5 dollars. Back at their apartment, Ellen gives Lilly her new tea set. They have dinner like they didn’t have in many weeks. Ellen watches Lilly give some tea to her doll. Was it right to give her daughter a gift that came from where it came? She tried to make herself believe that sometimes, you have no choice but to take extreme measures.

It’s around midnight when Michael arrives. Ellen welcomes him with a kiss. “You’re early today. That’s so great.”

Michael notices the plates on the table. “How did you buy food?”

Ellen thinks for a moment. “Cher gave me money.”

Michael digests that information for a moment. Usually, he didn’t like that his wife was still friends with a hooker, but now, who was he to judge her? Actually, now he could see that she was just another person who didn’t have another choice.

Before he could say anything, Ellen adds, “And she also bought her this tea set.”

“That was really nice of her. Tell Cher I’m really grateful.” Between a hurricane of thoughts, Michael manages to say something.

“Really? You always said you wanted me to keep distance of her.”

“Well, our daughter is happy, isn’t she?” He asks.

“Yes, she is.” Ellen answers, trying to prevent any tears to appear in her eyes.

“Then it’s all that matters.” Michael says, embracing Ellen and kissing her on the forehead.

***

To be continued

***


On the next chapter: Ellen finds out about Michael’s new business, while he suspects of her new drinking habits. And then, six years later, things are slightly better for the Rushs. Daughters Lilly and Christina seem to be growing up just fine, until a terrible thing happens. Something that will change their lives forever.

[Trublu]

Wow this is really good Tati. I cant wait to see what happens, its really nice to see the 'before' stuff.

[TVFan]

More great chapters Tati. You really have my curiousity piqued! I can't wait for the next chapters.

[Tati]

Thanks TruBlu and TV Fan. Next chapter should be ready by the end of this week.

[Tati]

This was supposed to be ready on Sunday, but I didn’t like what I had written and started all over again. Anyway, I have to admit it was a little disturbing to write this chapter, so I really hope you guys will enjoy it. Please tell me what you think.

~~~

“Lilly & Christina”

Chapter 4 – Cherry Brandy

After that day, Ellen was never the same. It didn’t matter that she never had to do that again. Michael had get a raise in his salary and now the Rushs have enough money for their rent, food, and clothes. They had even taken Lilly to the circus the week before. But still, six months after that day… Ellen wasn’t the same.

One day, Ellen was at home, cleaning up after lunch. Lilly was next door, playing with their neighbor’s son, Sam, who was about her age. Michael had just left for work, always after lunch. She was happy with the improvements of her life, but the events of six months earlier, still haunted her. What she had to do for money was ruining everything for her. She couldn’t be the same with Michael anymore. It was like his touch didn’t feel the same, and she didn’t understand why. She still loved him, maybe even more than before. And, to make things worse, Michael didn’t realize it, he didn’t see that something was wrong. He always so distracted. “Work problems” It was the only thing he would say.

On their living room wall, there was a shelf with all kinds of drinks. Michael never liked to drink, but his boss would give him bottles of all varieties of drinks. Vodka, scotch, brandy. She picked up one of the bottles. Just one drink wasn’t going to hurt. She closed her eyes for a minute, as she felt the relaxing effect of the drink.

A noise of keys on the front door woke her up. Michael at home at that hour? Impossible. But it was him. He had an injury in his forehead, and it was bleeding. There was another man with him.

“Leave the package here.” Michael ordered the man. “Now get the hell out of here.”

“Michael!” Ellen ran to him, scared. She checked his forehead. “Oh my God, this looks bad!”

Michael sat on the couch as Ellen went to get the stuff to clean his injury. “What happened, baby?” She asked.

He just looked at her and sighed. “Please, Ellen. Don’t ask me anything, okay?”

She stopped cleaning his injury. “No, Michael. I’m tired of all the lies. This, in your forehead, I’ve seen before. When my father almost got shot. What’s going on?”

Michael didn’t answer. He put his hand on his forehead. It was still bleeding.

“Let’s go to a hospital.” Ellen said.

“No…” He said, avoiding her eyes. “I can’t…”

Ellen got up from the couch. She reached for the package had left near the door. She opened it. She had seen that before. Her brother was an addict. Drug dealers had killed him a year ago.

“Michael… please tell me this is a bad dream.”

“I’m sorry, Ellen… I had no choice.”

“I should’ve discussed this with me before! I would’ve looked for a job… anything but this!” Ellen’s eyes were full of tears. “You know what happened to my brother!”

“I’m not using it, I swear… I’m just dealing. I’m sorry, baby…but now…”

“I know.” She interrupts him. “Now it’s too late. Once you’re there, you can never leave.”

From that day on, things got worse. When Michael wasn’t around, Ellen couldn’t think about anything else but Michael. If he was in any danger, if he was still alive…. Lilly was too young to understand, but she surely sensed how absent her mother was. Ellen would sent Lilly to play with the neighbor the whole day. And when Lilly was at home, she would see her mom lying in the couch, almost passed away from the drinks. Lilly would sit on the couch near her mom, and Lilly knew better not to wake Ellen up in those moments. Lilly’s left cheek was still hurting from when she woke her mom up and Ellen, out of control, beat her for the first time.

Six years later….

“Mom! I’m late for school, and there’s nothing for breakfast!” The 8-year-old Lilly tried to wake up her mom. “Chris is hungry too, I can’t stand her crying anymore!” In the back, we can hear the loud screams of the Rush’s youngest daughter, 3-year-old Christina. She gave up after realizing that Ellen wasn’t going to answer.

Lilly goes to the kitchen. Christina is sitting in one of the chairs. The little girl’s face is all wet from crying and she’s tired from crying. “Are you making breakfast, Lil?”

“No, Chris. Sorry. You’re gonna have to wait for Dad.” Lilly answers, as she puts her notebook in her backpack. She walks to Christina, picks her up and sits her on the kitchen table. “Chris, remember what we talked the other day? That you’re a big girl now?” Lilly asks.

“Yes. I’m 3, I’m a big girl.” Christina answers, smiling.

“So, I have to go to school, and I have to leave you with Mom again. Are you going to behave?” Lilly asks, seriously. Christina nods, many times. “What you have to do?” Lilly asks.

Christina makes a very serious face. “I have to sit on the floor, playing with my dolls. And if Mom wakes up, I say nothing, and I don’t bother her no matters what happens.”

“Yeah!” Lilly smiles, but it’s not a totally happy smile. “You learned everything.” Lilly checks the clock on the wall. “I have to go now.” She puts Christina on the floor, and takes her to their parents’ bedroom. Before leaving, she checks if left everything the way she’s supposed to – the kitchen was clean and the daybeds she and Christina slept on were under the couch.

Outside the building, Lilly’s next door neighbor and school friend, Sam Johnson, was waiting for her. Sam lived there with his mother Amanda for almost seven years. His mother chose to live in a cheaper apartment so she could give Sam better toys and better clothes.

“Hi, Sam. Sorry I’m late.” Lilly says as she notices Sam’s all perfect and clean clothes. Lilly’s clothes were always wrinkled and old. It wasn’t like her Dad didn’t earn any money. Lilly would always see him giving her Mom a good amount of money to spend on the house, but Ellen would always spend the money on drinks and buy new clothes only for herself. Lilly would wear the same clothes until they didn’t fit anymore – and when it happened, Christina would start wearing those clothes. Through the years Lilly had learned that she shouldn’t complain to her Dad about that. First, because he always too busy with his work problems and never really paid attention. Second, because when he paid attention, it meant their parents would fight later. And third, because if their parents’ fought over one of her complains, Lilly would always feel the weight of her mom’s hands later. Lilly decided to get over it. “What’s important is what’s on the inside.” She would tell herself. Yeah, right. Tell that to the other girls at school, who were always mocking Lilly for her old clothes.

“Is everything ok?” They were almost arriving at school when Sam asked that, noticing Lilly’s eyes covered with tears.

“Sure, Sam. Everything’s ok.” She answered as they entered the school. Sam knew it was pointless to ask more. He knew the Rushs had some problems, but Lilly always refused to talk about them.

[Tati]

Later, on that same afternoon…..

Lilly and Sam were arriving back home from school. Sam was really good at telling jokes and he managed to get a smile from Lilly on the way home. As they arrived at their apartments, Sam asked if she wanted to go to the park with him. Lilly said she couldn’t, she was late on her homework. Actually, she was worried she had to feed Christina with the food she managed to get from school.

As she opened the door, a shocking scene appeared in front of her. Her Mom and Dad were sitting in the couch, each of them with a gun pointed to their heads. It seemed like both of them had their hands tied behind their back. Holding the guns, were her Dad’s boss, Tony, and his assistant, Paulie. Lilly had seen them only a couple of times but she could never forget their angry faces.

“Oh, look who’s here. We were waiting for you, little Lilly.” Tony said, with his fake smile, never leaving Ellen’s side. Christina was sitting on the corner of the room, scared. Her eyes were red and Lilly sensed that her sister had cried a lot; but, somehow, someone managed to shut her up.

“Leave your school stuff there, honey, and go sit near your sister.” Michael stuttered.

“I give the orders here!” Tony yelled. He then lowered his voice, “First, little Lilly is going to learn her best lesson of the day. “Come here, kid.”

Lilly stood still, unsure of what she should do. She glanced at Michael, who nodded to her, and she walked up to Tony. Tony observed her for a while. “You know, Lilly, you’re the perfect match of your parents. You got your mom’s blonde hair, and your dad’s blue eyes. I really hope that, when it comes to brains, you didn’t take after your stupid father.”

“My father is not stupid.” Lilly said, her blue eyes like darts in Tony’s direction.

“I see you took his bad attitude.” Tony seemed to forget Ellen for a while and concentrated only on Lilly. She was scared to death, but she was determined to be strong for her parents. Tony continued, “As you already know, your father works for me. You see, I run a very serious business. And your Dad did something he shouldn’t do. He told your mother about our business. Men should never let women into their business. It’s trouble. Women can’t keep their tongues quiet inside their mouths. Like your mom didn’t.” He paused, a bit surprised on how the little girl was holding herself together.

Tony got up from the couch and paced the living room. “Now I have to teach your father a lesson. At first I thought the best way through your mother, that way I was teaching both of them a lesson. But then I realized, no. Who guarantees me he cares about that woman. She’s not his blood. But you and your sister are.” He seemed to have finished. He looked triumphant.

“Please, don’t kill my daughters.” Ellen said, in a very low voice. She knew better that to scream at those men.

“Paulie, take that woman to the bedroom. Do whatever you please with her.” Tony said, with a wave of his hand.

“Are you sure you’re not going to need any help around here, boss?” Paulie asked. His job was to always think of Tony first.

“Don’t worry.” Tony answered, laughing as he glanced from Michael to Lilly and from Lilly to Christina.

After Paulie went to bedroom with Ellen, Tony walked to Michael, who was still on the couch. Michael was sweating and on the verge of tears. “Please, do whatever you want with me, but don’t hurt them.”

Tony slapped him hard on the face. “Stupid. I trusted you. You were one of my closest men.”

“I swear I didn’t tell anything to Ellen. I don’t know how Cher got that information, but Ellen wouldn’t be so stupid…” He was interrupted by another slap on the face.

“Shut up.” It was the only thing Tony said before walking back to Lilly. “Now, Lilly, you call your little sister. I don’t think she listens to anyone but you.” Lilly thought about asking him to leave Christina out, but them she thought about her mom and her dad.

“Christina, come here.” Lilly said, looking at her sisters. Christina didn’t move. “Come on, Chris, it’s ok.” Lilly said again, smiling. Christina got up and walked to where Lilly was.

Tony looked at Michael. He laughs. “Remember, Mike, when we broke into that Joe Woods’ house? Remember his daughter? 16 years old, the face of a doll. The best payment I could get for all the money that idiot owned me.” It was possible to see terror take Michael’s face. “Remember how I told you I always had a thing for younger girls?” Tony laughs again. “You laughed with me! Ironic, isn’t it?”

“No, no, you can’t do that! Kill me, do anything with me, but don’t touch them!” Michael yells, desperately.

“Don’t you yell at me!” Tony says as he kicks Michael’s stomach. He turns back to the girls. “You two. Take your clothes off.”

A shiver went up and down Lilly’s spine. What was that guy going to do with them? She looked at her father, looking for some hope. Michael was crying. We he felt his daughter’s eyes at him, begging for help, he could do nothing but close his own eyes.

“Aren’t you listening to me, stupid girl??” Tony said, grabbing Lilly’s arm.

Lilly looked one more time at Michael. He was in pain. For being kicked, slapped, and tortured with small cuts all over his face. The latter was Paulie’s work. He found fun in doing that.

“If I do what you want, you won’t hurt my Dad anymore?” Lilly asked. Christina was holding her really tight.

Tony smiled. “No, honey. If you do what I ask, I won’t anything else to your mom or your dad.”

Finally, Lilly let the tears run down her face. She leaned and took off her sneakers. She then took off her blouse and pants.

“Take her clothes off too.” Tony said, as he watched it. You could see, through the shine in his eyes, that he was enjoying this.

Lilly knelt down and began to take off Christina’s dress. “No, Lil.” The little girl complained. “I don’t want to take my clothes off in front of Dad!” She whined. Lilly didn’t say a word, but the tears kept rolling down her face as she took off her little sister’s clothes.

The two girls stood there, in the middle of the living room, naked. Tony watched them for over five minutes before touching Lilly for the first time. Lilly’s whole body was shaking as that man put his hands on her face. He then kissed her face, and Lilly felt a sweet smell of cherry brandy that made her sick.

When she felt his hands were going down, she screamed, “No! Let me go!” She escaped his embrace and dragged Christina with her. As Tony tried to grab her again and again, she kicked and pushed him. Christina had run to the corner she was sitting when Lilly first arrived. “Your stupid brat! I tell you what to do!” He tried to slap Lilly on the face but Lilly was running all around the living room.

Tony finally grabbed Lilly. He was holding her against a wall. For a moment she thought there was nothing else she could do. But suddenly, she picked up a new strength from inside. She stretched and bit Tony in the cheek. Tony started to bleed pretty bad. “You little b*tch!” He exclaimed. He realized the bleeding wasn’t going to stop. He knocked on the bedroom door, almost knocking it down. Paulie came out immediately.

“Boss, what happened?” Paulie asked, not even noticing the girls.

“Let’s get out of here. I think they’ve learned their lesson.” Tony said. Paulie opened the door and peeked outside. He then called Tony and they left.

Lilly looked at the apartment. It was destroyed and dirty. She walked over to her parents’ bedroom. Ellen was lying on the bed. Her eyes were open but she seemed to be hypnotized. She had bruises all over her face, chest, and arms.

Lilly walked back to the living room. Michael was still crying, with his eyes closed. She opened her mouth to call “Dad” but she gave up. She sat by Christina’s side on the corner of the living room and hugged her. Lilly took a deep breath and realized that Tony had left that sweet smell of cherry brandy in the air. She hugged Christina more tightly and cried.


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To be continued

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On the next chapter: The Rushs now deal with the consequences of the tragedy in their lives. What will happen to that family when Michael simply can’t move on?

[Disasterfreak]

Wow. Disturbing, all right. Although I have to say, real life is even worse sometimes. Makes sense that it would have happened that way (Lilly's life, I mean). Very, very good, Tati, and very nicely written. I'm really impressed

[TVFan]

Very difficult chapter Tati, but very well done. You have an amazing way with words. Everything you've written so far seems to fit right in with what we know about Lilly. Great job!

[Tati]

oh, thanks Disasterfreak and TVFan. You're reviews are very encouraging! I'm really glad you're enjoying my story.

[birthdaygirl]

OMG, this story is so sad, but it's great writing. Keep it up!

[Tati]

A/N: Here's the next one. Keep the reviews coming, please... any suggestions are welcome too.

“Lilly & Christina”

Chapter 5 – Fairy Tales and Snow Angels

For the rest of that day, no one said a word at the Rushs’ house. Lilly gave her sister and herself a shower, and afterwards, they just went back to that little corner of the living room. Michael stayed on the couch, eyes closed. He would never look at his little girls’ eyes again. Ellen didn’t get up from the bed, but from the living room Lilly could hear her mother crying, like she never had. Lilly herself could do nothing but hold Christina. At that moment, everyone there was aware that their lives would never be the same again.

Next day, they went to the police station to file a report. They talked to Officer Joe Green, who listened carefully to everyone. Tony and Paulie were known in that neighborhood. Michael was completely honest, and admitted that he worked for Tony for seven years. Officer Green, however, said that it was actually better to keep Michael on the streets, since Tony could come after him again, and they could create an opportunity to arrest him.

“Mr. and Mrs. Rush, I would like to talk to your daughter Lilly alone, is that possible?” Officer Green asked.

“You’re not going to make her repeat everything again, are you?” Ellen asked, holding Lilly’s hand.

“I just need to clear a few details. Sometimes children react differently when their parents are not around.” He answered.

“OK.” Michael answered. He picked up Christina from the floor and they headed to the waiting room.

Officer Green showed a bench to Lilly. She sat down and he sat by her side. “Listen, Lilly. I know this is hard for you, but I need to be sure you told me everything that happened.”

“I told everything.” Lilly answered shyly. She looked to the floor. “He didn’t do… what you’re thinking he did.”

“Ok. I believe you.” Officer Green was used to see everything in that job. But seeing those things happen to little girls and boys… it was something he would never get used to.

“Do you think you’re going to find him?” Lilly asked.

“I’m going to do my best.” He answered, trying to give Lilly some kind of assurance. But, even though she was only eight, Lilly was very smart.

“You don’t believe you’re going to get him. I know, the police never catches the bad guys in our neighborhood.” There was a bit of anger in Lilly’s voice.

“Hey, listen to me, little girl.” Officer Green said, holding Lilly arm and looking into her eyes. “We’re going to get these guys. Maybe it won’t be me; maybe it’ll be another cop. Maybe it’ll be tomorrow; maybe it’ll be in 3, 5 or 10 years. But no one can run away forever.”

Lilly just stared at him. Somehow that speech gave her some faith in the future. She remembered the fairy tales she liked to read. In the end, the good ones always won the bad ones and everyone was happy. But before that, the good ones had to go through a lot of sad moments. Maybe that explained. She wasn’t happy now, but, who knows, maybe she was just half way in her own fairy tale.

“You can go know.” Officer Green said.

Lilly got up from the bench and smiled. “Thanks.”

That was one of the most truthful thanks Officer Green had ever got. “You know, Lilly, if you remember something else, or if you need to talk about what happened… you know were you can find me.”

“Would you take me with you next time you are going to arrest those bad guys?” Lilly asked, and for a moment, that idea made her forget everything that happened the day before.

Officer Green laughed. That was a rather unusual request from a 8-year-old girl. “Well, I can’t do that, but I could take you in one of my rounds around the neighborhood, if you want. Maybe we can ”

“I won’t have classes next Friday.” Lilly said.

Officer Green smiled. If that’s what it took to bring a smile back to that little girl’s face, then it was part of his job. “Then, Officer Rush, be here at 2 p.m. sharp.”

“I won’t be late.” She said, and left.

And that’s how it started… For many Fridays, during many years, Officer Green would take young Lilly Rush for a quick round in the neighborhood. And as Lilly watched Officer Green bring some security and hope for those people who had nothing to believe in, Lilly realized that she couldn’t be the helpless princess in the fairytale. She had to be strong and to fight, the one that makes sure that the good ones would win in the end.

***

[Tati]

***
The tragedy had brought silence to the Rushs’ house. Ellen found her relief in bottles of scotch and vodka, while Lilly and Christina tried to move on with their lives, pretending that nothing ever happened. Lilly looked forward to her rounds with Officer Green and Christina was way too young to keep those memories too long in her head. But Michael couldn’t find relief in anything. Now, he was out of job, so the Rushs were going through bad times again.

One Sunday, about one month after that day, Michael was sitting on the couch after lunch. Ellen was outside, smoking, and Christina was asleep. Lilly had just finished washing the dishes. She stood by the kitchen door and watched her father. Lilly knew he was responsible for what happened, but she couldn’t be angry with him. She wanted her father back, that man that would play with her, and hold her in the air, that man that loved her. But she also knew that her father would never be the same, like she would never be the same either.

Lilly walked to the couch, and stood right beside Michael. “Dad,” She beginned.

Michael didn’t look. Lilly could see Michael fight a tear in his left eye.

“Dad,” She said, reaching for his hand. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Michael looked at his daughter. He remembered when she was a little baby, and he could look at her big blue eyes for hours, fascinated that they were exactly like his.

There was a moment of silence, until Michael held Lilly in his arms. “I’m so sorry, my little girl!” He said, crying.

“Dad… we’ll get over it.” It broke Lilly’s heart to see her father crying. She let a few tears fall down her face.

“I don’t think I can get over it, Lilly.” He said, letting go of the embrace. He looked to the other side.

“What do you mean, Dad? You have to get over it.”

Michael held Lilly arms and looked at her. “Will you promise me one thing?”

“Of course.” Lilly said, scared of what her father might ask her.

“Promise me that you’ll always look after your mother and your sister. Even if you fight, even if they hurt you one day.”

Lilly shook her head, smiling. “Dad! Mom and Chris would never hurt me.” Suddenly, she realized what was going on. “Ok, Dad, I promise.”

Michael kissed his daughter’s forehead and got up from the couch. When he reached the door, Lilly called, “Dad.”

Michael turned around. Lilly walked up to him and said. “Promise you’ll be back.”

Michael just looked Lilly, his eyes full of tears. He opened the door, and left.

Lilly stayed there. She tried to fight the tears. After all, she had promised to look after her Mom and her sisters. She said to the walls, “But, who’s going to look after me now?”

***

[Tati]

***

After Michael left, things had gotten worse for the Rushs. Ellen wouldn’t stay in a job for more than a few weeks. Her drinking addiction dominated her, and she would start arriving late and missing work. She got fired from all the jobs she got.

In those 5 months after Michael left, Ellen had become closer again with her old high school friend, Cher. Cher made her living out of “entertaining old rich men”, as she liked to say. Ellen, except for one day a few years ago, was managing to stay away from that life, even though Cher constantly offered to her “some work.”

Cher loved children, and she would bring toys and clothes to Lilly and Christina. “If you don’t let me help you, please let me help them.” She would say to Ellen.

One winter night, Cher arrived at the Rushs apartment. Lilly and Christina were playing while Ellen looked for something to make dinner with.

“Cher!” The girls screamed, and run to hold her. Both girls really liked her.

“Hey, Ellie.” Cher said to Ellen.

“You want macaroni and cheese?” Ellen asked. “I’m making dinner.”

“It certainly smells good!” Cher said, more to cheer up the girls, who ate that at least three times a week. “I’ll accept, but only because I have a surprise for you, but for after dinner.”

“Oh, come on Cher, what is it?” Lilly asked. “Is it in that bag?” She pointed to a bag that Cher had brought in with her.

“Dinner is on the table.” Ellen said, picking up Christina and taking her to the kitchen.

“Come on. Let’s eat, and then you’ll know.” Cher said, going to the kitchen with Lilly.

They had just finished dinner when Christina said, “The surprise!” She smiled, and clapped her hands. Lilly also looked anxious.

“Okay, let’s go to the living room.” Cher said. “Come on, Ellie, you too.”

Lilly and Christina ran to the bad Cher had left on the couch. “First,” Ellen began, “I have some new clothes for you three.” She took off the bag three coats, three scarves and three colorful cloth caps. The girls put on their gifts quickly. They looked at themselves, happily.

“Here you go, Ellie.” Cher handed Ellen her clothes.

“Oh Cher…I’m so ashamed.” Ellen said, taking the clothes. “I can’t even buy winter clothes to my daughters.”

“Stop it, Ellie. I’m your friend, and I’m glad to help.”

The girls held Cher, and thanked her. “Wait, girls, don’t thank me yet. The best part is yet to come.” Cher said, reaching inside the bag. “We are going to make home videos!” She took off a brand new camera.

“Oh my God Cher! Where did you get this?” Ellen asked, a bit worried with the possible origin of that camera.

“I worked for a person, and that person didn’t have any money to pay me,” Cher explained, “So that person gave me this camera as a payment.”

Lilly and Christina’s eyes were shining. This could possibly be the best days of their lives.

“Let’s go out in the snow, shall we?” Cher suggested. I bet we can make some nice videos out there.

The girl ran to the door. “Come on!” Lilly said, and they left.

They walked to the park, two blocks away. When they arrived, Lilly and Christina started running, jumping and making faces, and Cher filmed everything happily.

“Come on, Ellie, join them.” Cher said, pointing to the girls.

Ellen thought for a second, and then joined their daughters. She ran, pretending to chase them. They all laughed, happily.

Christina ran to Cher. “Can I make a film too?” She asked.

“Sure, come here,” Cher said. She held the camera with one hand and picked up Christina from the floor with the other. Christina held the camera and Cher helped her.

“Come on, Ellie and Lilly.” Cher said. “Make some faces to us.”

Ellen and Lilly waved to the camera. “Make the snow angels!” Christina requested.

Ellen laid down on the snow. “Come on, Lilly.” She said. Lilly laid down next to her mother. They started moving their arms up and down, making the snow angels. Both Lilly and Ellen were laughing. In the midst of all that joy, a few flashes came to Lilly’s mind.

Her mother drunk, lying on the bed for hours. Her mother saying she’s sorry, but they’ll have nothing for breakfast, again. Moments when Lilly almost hated her mother.

“Oh, look at your snow angel, it’s beautiful!” Ellen said, pointing to the figure behind Lilly, who was now sitting in the snow. Lilly looked at the snow angel, and smiled. She glanced at Christina, who was clapping her hands, happily.

“Come here, baby,” Ellen said, opening her arms to Lilly.

Lilly ran to her mother’s arms. They held each other tightly, and then began rolling in the snow, while Lilly silently prayed to her snow angels to bring her more days like this.


~~~

To be continued

~~~

On the next chapter: Teenage years are tough to everyone. High school, first boyfriend, career choices… now, add a drunken mother and a b*tchy younger sister to the mix. It doesn’t seem like a fairytale, does it?

[TVFan]

Another great installment Tati! I love how you described the snow angels (from the home movie in "Fly Away"). I particularly loved the way you said that Lilly prayed to the snow angels to have more days like that one. Great stuff! You've done such a wonderful job staying true to the characters and the little information we know about them. I can't wait to read about the teen years.