"Lilly & Christina"

[Naj]

Wow Tati! I just read everything up until this point. Good stuff and very realistic as to what may have happened in the Rush family.

~Naj

[Tati]

“Lilly and Christina”

A/N: TV Fan, Naj - Thanks for reading and reviewing. Due to computer problems in the last days, I had no Internet, so I used the free time to write, which explains today’s big update.

~~~

Chapter 6 – “Teenage Inferno, Part 1”

6 a.m. Lilly opened her wardrobe. She looked at her clothes and sighed. All her clothes were old and ugly. Not that she cared too much about her looks, but there was nothing there she wanted to wear in her first day of high school.

Christina walked in, looked at Lilly and her clothes, and laughed, “You’re gonna be so mocked with those horrible clothes.”

Lilly turned to her sister and said, coldly, “If I were you, I’d look in the mirror before opening my mouth.” She smiled sarcastically, and pointed at a hole in Christina’s jeans.

“This makes me look cool,” Christina said, but it was easy to see that she didn’t really think like that.

Lilly finally chose a pair of dark jeans and a black blouse. As she got dressed, Christina observed, enviously, her older sister’s beautiful body.

“What?” Lilly asked, noticing Christina’s eyes.

“I can’t wait to have boobs.” Christina answered, as she walked to the mirror and started to admire herself.

“Gladly, this won’t happen for a couple of years. Last thing I need is having to worry about you dating all the guys in Philadelphia.” Lilly said, walking to the living room, and checking her bag. She took out a comb and combed her long dark-blond hair, and then tied it into a ponytail.

“You’re scared because you know I’m going to take all your boyfriends. My body is going to be a thousand times better looking than yours.” Christina said, crossing her arms and standing next to Lilly.

Lilly looked at Christina, thinking that it would be actually really possible for her little sister to steal all her boyfriends, since all that Christina cared about was herself. Before she could say anything, there was a knock on the door.

“Sam, come on in.” Lilly said. Sam Johnson was their next door neighbor, a handsome and tall African-american boy, and the same age as Lilly was. He worked cleaning pools at a high-society club.

“Are you ready, Lil?” Sam said as he walked in. “Hey Chris, we can walk you to school if you’re ready.”

“I don’t need any babysitters. And I don’t want to be seen with a cleaning guy. People could think we’re friends.” Christina answered, very rudely. She turned to go to their mom’s bedroom, where they kept their clothes, but Lilly grabbed her by the arm.

“Watch your mouth, your little brat!” Lilly said, holding Christina’s arm very tightly. “Pick up your stuff and go to school!”

“Let me go, b*tch!” Christina yelled. “Stop bossing me around, you’re not my mother!” She freed herself from Lilly.

“What’s going on in there?” called a voice from the bedroom. It was Ellen. She came to the living room. “I told you not to fight, you always wake me up!” She looked at Lilly, “What do we have for breakfast?”

“Nothing, Mom.” Lilly answered. “We’re out of milk and bread, and you didn’t leave me any money to buy anything.”

Ellen looked like she couldn’t believe it. “But that’s impossible! I gave you the food stamps.”

“Well, that was 10 days ago, Mom.” Lilly replied.

“Are you sure you’re not exchanging them for money, to buy new clothes?” Ellen asked Lilly.

Christina laughed. “No, I’m sure she’s not doing that!”

Lilly shot Christina a very cold look. “Look, Mom, I have to go or I’ll be late for school. Don’t forget you start working today at that convenience store, at noon. And Chris doesn’t want to go to school. As she said, I can’t make her go, so maybe you could talk to her.”

Christina threw herself on the couch. “No one tells me what to do.”

Lilly shook her head. “Fine.” She took Sam by the arm and they left.

Sam and Lilly were walking side by side in silence for a while. After a while, Sam said, “You know, Lil, we can stop by somewhere so you can have some breakfast.”

“I don’t have any money, Sam.”

“I’ll pay for you.”

“I don’t want you to do that. And anyway I have a feeling I’m gonna be sick today.” She said, as they stood in front of their high school building.

Lilly’s first day at high school went as good as possible. Math, English, and Chemistry classes. Sam wasn’t in all of her classes, so she was alone most of the time. She looked around and it seemed like everyone already belonged to a group. It didn’t seem like she fit in one of those groups either.

The bell rang, announcing Lilly’s first day of high school was over. She went over to her locker as she picked up her stuff, two boys leaned on the lockers, one in each of her sides.

“Hey Dan,” The boy on the left started. “Someone told me this school was going to be boring, but look at that.”

“I know, Bobby” the boy on right continued. “We’ve got Barbie in person studying with us.”

Lilly pretended that conversation wasn’t about her, slammed her locker door closed and started to leave, but Dan stood in her way. “You know, that Barbie comment is actually a compliment.” He smiled. “I’m Dan, this is Bobby.”

“I’m Lilly,” She answered, desperate to leave. She noticed a group of girls on the other side of the hall, watching and whispering. Great, that was she really needed. On her first day of high school, she messed with the popular girls. “I’m really need to go.” She smiled to the boys. “I have a job interview in one hour.”

“Oh, that’s a shame. But, we’ll see each other around in the next years.” Dan smiled, getting out of her way. Lilly walked away as fast as she could, feeling Dan and Bobby’s eyes behind her back. When she passed through the group of girls – most of whom were on her classes that day – she felt a cold shiver through her body.

Outside the building, she ran into Sam. “Hey, Lil, how was everything?”

Lilly laughed nervously. “Well, today I realized I’m not going to be a Mathematician neither a Chemist. And I have a feeling the most popular girls of this school already hate me.”

“Oh. Well, then I guess you’re not in the mood to hang around and get to know the surroundings better.” He asked, with a sympathetic smile.

“Certainly not. But I got a job interview anyway.”

“That’s nice. Where?”

“At that ice-cream shop, near the park.”

“I know. ‘Poppy’s Ice-cream Shop’.” He paused and giggled. “The one where the waitresses wear that lovely pink uniform.”

“Don’t remind me.” She laughed, and left, waving at Sam, “I’ll see you later.”

[Tati]

Two months later, Lilly was arriving home from work, late at night. She opened the apartment door and saw her mother lying on the floor, passed out, and Christina screaming by her side.

“Lil! Thank God you arrived. I can’t wake her up!”

At first, Lilly wasn’t that worried. “It’s not the first time the booze knocked her out in the middle of the living room.”

“No, it’s different this time, Lil. Her hands are so cold.” Christina seemed really worried, and since Lilly had never seen her sister like that, she decided to take a look at Ellen. Lilly knelt by Ellen’s side and took her hand.

“She has a pulse, but it’s very weak… you’re right, she’s so cold.” She thought for a second, and decided, “We’d better take her to the hospital.”

“We can’t do that! She’s too heavy. Let’s call an ambulance.” Christina said.

“Ambulances take forever to get here. Remember what happened to Mrs. Etheridge, from down the street? She died because the ambulance took one hour to arrive. The hospital is just too blocks away, we can do that.” Lilly said, lifting Ellen’s head.

“Let’s ask Sam, he’s strong.”

“Yeah, now you’re not ashamed to be seen next to him.” Lilly said, sarcastically. She put Ellen’s left arm around her shoulder, and pointed at Christina to do the same at the other side. Being considerably shorter and weaker than Lilly, Christina had a hard time doing that. “Well, he’s working now. It’ll have to be us.” The sisters lifted up their mother and left.

A few hours later, Lilly and Christina are at the hospital. Ellen is lying on a bed, with a tube in her left arm. Christina is sitting at the edge of the bed, and Lilly is standing up by her side.

“We came as soon as we heard,” Amanda Johnson said, as she entered the room with her son Sam. “How is she?”

“She’s fine now,” Lilly answered. “The doctors gave her something to neutralize the effect of the alcohol. But she’ll need to stay here for the night.”

“You girls can sleep at my house.” Mrs. Johnson said, holding Christina’s hand. Surprisingly, the girl didn’t b*tch at the offer, which would be her normal behavior. She just looked at Lilly.

“No, thanks, Mrs. Johnson, but I think it’s better for us to stay here, so when the doctor discharges her, we can take her home immediately.” Lilly answered.

Christina looked at Mrs. Johnson, “She’s afraid the social worker is going to come.”

Mrs. Johnson nodded. “I understand. But at least let me buy some food for you.”

Lilly smiled. “I’m going to stay here,” and looking at Christina, “But you go. Bring me something.” Christina then left with Mrs. Johnson.

Now, alone with Sam and her sleeping mother, Lilly finally let herself cry. Sam put his arm around her shoulder to comfort her, but didn’t say anything. He knew that he couldn’t push with Lilly, he had to let her talk, whenever she felt like.

“You know, Sam, last time I came to this hospital, about a year ago, was to visit my mother’s best friend, Cher. She was way worse, though. Syphilis. She was totally deformed. I always knew she was a hooker, but to watch her like that, was one of the most horrible things that ever happened to me.”

“But Lil, your Mom is not a hooker. You will never see her like that.”

“Sam… when my mom is drunk, she loses her senses. You have no idea of the situations I’ve found her in. Anything could happen to her.” Lilly said, tears rolling down her face.

Sam didn’t know what to say. He just hugged Lilly and let her cry.

At that moment, Christina walked in with Lilly’s sandwich. Sam and Lilly broke their embrace. “Your mom is waiting for you outside.” Christina said, coldly. Sam said goodbye to Lilly and left.

Christina handed her the sandwich. “You know, some people are talking. About you and Sam.” She sat in the bed again.

Lilly smiled, “People talk too much.” She kissed Christina’s forehead and hugged her, knowing that her little sister’s anger was only because she needed someone to hold her too.

~~~

To be continued

[Tati]

Chapter 7 – “Teenage Inferno, Part 2”

~~~

Lilly couldn’t remember when was the exact moment when she started looking at Sam with different eyes. Maybe it was after that day he hugged her at the hospital. All that she knew is that, one day, about a year after that night in the hospital, they were walking from school, as Lilly happily told him about the “A” she had gotten in Math.

“Oh, Sam, I could never have done it if you hadn’t tutored me.”

“Stop it Lil. It was your effort. You studied so much for this.” He said. He was always happy to help Lilly.

And then, suddenly, she kissed him. It was a quick kiss, and afterwards, she wasn’t really sure why she had done that. It took Sam a few moments to find his voice. “What was this for?”

“I don’t know. For the great guy that you are.” She said, smiling embarrassed. “Well, I have to go to work. Stop by later and I’ll give you free ice cream.” She went to her apartment, leaving Sam speechless in the sidewalk.

~~~

And now, there she was, one more year later. She and Sam had been dating ever since that day. Lilly never thought she could have a better companion that her friend Sam, but she quickly learned that boyfriend Sam was ten times better.

She smiled to herself as she remembered the day before. It had been her 17th birthday, and Sam gave her a beautiful red rose and a necklace with a heart pendant, which she was wearing now. Suddenly, something woke her up from her daydream.

“Hey, Lil. I need to talk to you.” Sam appeared in front of her.

“Things are busy today here, Sam. Is it urgent?” Lilly asked as she prepared a customer’s order.

“Yeah, it is. I’ll just wait until you have some time.” He said, sitting in one of the counter’s seats. He smiled at Lilly as she finished that order and handed the trail to the waitress. Lilly began to worry because even though Sam was smiling, he looked really sad. She started to wonder if something had happened to her mother and he was afraid to drop the bomb.

“If you don’t mind talking while I clean this counter, go ahead.” She said, anxious to hear whatever he had to say.

Sam sighed, and started, “Remember that I told you that my father started to call, and wanted to meet me?”

“Of course I remember,” Lilly said, relieved that it wasn’t any bad news about her family. “He called again?”

“Actually, he came home today. And it seems like he and my mother might get back together. He even asked us to move in with him.” Sam continued.

“Sam! This is so great!” Lilly said. She was really happy for Sam, but she was starting to have a bad feeling about it. Even though Sam was telling her great news, he never smiled once.

“Yeah, it’s great. But there’s something…” He looked down at the counter. Lilly had finished cleaning so she was looking directly at him. She felt a shiver down her spine when she realized her bad feeling was becoming reality. “He lives in New York.” Sam reached for Lilly’s hand. She looked to the side, eyes full of tears.

“When are you leaving?” She asked.

“Tomorrow night.” He said, his voice starting to crack. “I came here because I won’t go to school tomorrow; and I don’t know if I’ll have time to talk to you again before I leave.” He pauses. “I’m so sorry, Lil, but I have no choice.”

“I understand it, Sam.” She tries to smile. “Good luck in New York.” She gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Unable to say another word, Sam gets up and leaves. Lilly watches him go, and wipes the tears off her eyes.

“Hey, girl, can you get our orders please?” A girl, sitting on a table with other 4 girls, waves at Lilly. Lilly sighs. The “populars” of her high school. If it wasn’t enough to have them mocking at her clothes and her lack of money, now she has to serve them too. Usually that wouldn’t bother her, but this wasn’t a day like the other.

Lilly walked until their table. “I’m sorry for the delay, our waitresses are all busy. What can I get you?” She asked, with the same politeness she had with all the customers.

“Three chocolate chips, one vanilla, one strawberry.” She said, looking at Lilly like she was a piece of dirty.

As Lilly wrote down the order, another girl said, “Tough day, Rush? Your boyfriend dumped you?”

Lilly turned to leave, but the girl said, “You’re our waitress. We didn’t say we were finished ordering.”

Lilly turned back to the girls. “I’m sorry. Anything else?”

The five girls watched her, and they seemed amused. Another one of them, “I bet they pay you really bad here, because you’re not dressing any better, you’re dressing even worse.”

Lilly tried to sound casual, “Well, I have a lot to worry about besides my clothes.”

“Yeah, we’ve heard about your drunken mother.” The girl who made the order laughed.
“I’m sorry, but if you’re finished ordering, I need to see other customers.” Lilly said, never letting the girls’ words get to her.

“Yeah, go get our ice-creams,” The girl waved her to go.

Lilly got back behind the counter to prepare their ice-creams. After she finished, she asked one of the other girls to take the trail. After all, she wasn’t serving tables that day and she didn’t need to put up with those girls again.

“You must hear all kinds of crap in this job,” A girl sitting on one of the counter seats said to Lilly.

Lilly remembered seeing the girl in school. She wasn’t very popular either. “Yeah, but I don’t let it bother me.”

“You seem bothered though.” The girl said, while she ate her strawberry ice-cream. “I’m sorry if I’m being nosy, but I was already here when Sam talked to you.”

“Oh,” Lilly said, “Yeah, that bothered me.”

“I know we’re not friends, but if you need someone to talk about it… or if you need someone to put a bomb on those girls’ houses… my name is Lindsey.” She said, smiling.

Lilly laughed, “I’m Lilly.” She was really touched by that offer of friendship. “And thanks, Lindsey. I think I’m going to accept your offer. Both of them.” They both laughed.

Lindsey got up from the seat. “I have to go now. But I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”

Lilly smiled. “See you tomorrow.”

~~~

[Tati]

Lilly arrived home that night feeling completely worn-out. Christina was sitting in the couch reading a magazine.

“Hey, Chris.” Lilly looked into the bedroom. “Where’s Mom?”

“She went out, about an hour ago.” Christina answered without taking her eyes from the magazine.

“Did she say where she was going?” Lilly asked, as she searched for something inside her bag.

Christina lifted her eyes from the magazine and looked at Lilly like this was the most ridiculous question ever asked.

Lilly realized her question was indeed stupid. She took a package from her purse and handed it to Christina. “I got you this today.” Lilly then sat on the couch by Christina’s side.

Christina quickly dropped the magazine and grabbed the package. It was a black blouse. Simple, but nice. However, Christina didn’t even smile. “This is not the blouse I liked.”

“I know, but it’s the only one I could afford. It’s from the same store.” Lilly said, not surprised by her sister’s cold reaction.

“I’m so tired of always ending with the cheapest thing. Well, at least this isn’t one of your old clothes.” Christina said, tossing the blouse aside and picking up the magazine again.

“I know this sucks, Chris. But I’m doing the best I can right now. Why is it never enough to you?” Lilly asked.

Without taking her eyes off the magazine, Christina answered, “No one asked to look after me.”

Without saying anything, Lilly got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen. She noticed some dirty dishes in the sink and started washing them.

Christina got up from the couch. She stopped by the kitchen’s door. She was taken aback to see her older sister crying. In all those years, she never saw Lilly crying over something she had said to her.

“Lil, I, I…” Christina stuttered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She walked near Lilly.

“Well, saying you’re sorry doesn’t always fix the stupid things you do.” Lilly replied, not looking at Christina.

“Well, I’m really sorry, anyway.” Christina said. “But you don’t seem to be crying because of me.”

Lilly laughed, “I can’t believe this day came. Christina Rush realized the world doesn’t turn around her.”

“Tell what happened. I mean, if you want to.”

Lilly wiped the tears from her face, but they kept coming. “Sam’s leaving.”

Christina didn’t quite understand. “He’s leaving the building?”

Lilly looked at her sister. “He’s leaving Philadelphia.” By now she was crying so much she couldn’t keep on doing the dishes.

“Wow, Lil…. that sucks.” Christina said, feeling very stupid for her earlier attitude. She came near Lilly and put her hand on Lilly’s hair, trying to comfort her.

“Leave me alone, Chris. Please.” Lilly said, looking down at the sink. Christina left without saying another word.

Lilly sat at the kitchen table. She held her head on her hands and cried for the rest of the night.

~~~

Two years later….

It was a warm and pleasant Friday night. Lilly wasn’t working that day, and she really didn’t feel like staying home on her prom night. Even though she wasn’t actually going to the prom. She tried to save money for the dress, but last month she had to call a plumber to check out a leaking pipe and well… she kissed her dress goodbye.

High school was finally over. Lilly wasn’t sure what she was going to do now. She knew what she wanted to do, though. She wanted to be a cop. Those rounds with Officer Joe Green when she was a child made a huge impression on her. Sometimes she would hang out at the police station and watch criminals arrived after being arrested. That gave her some relief, even though she never saw the criminals who destroyed her family be arrested.

Last week she talked with Officer Green about joining the police academy. She was 18 now, she could it after graduating from high school. But this would demand full dedication from her, which meant leaving her mother and her sister alone. Even if she still lived with them, she could never watch them, and go after them whenever they needed her. Christina was only 13 now…she would probably have to postpone her career dreams for another 3 or 4 years.

It was in the middle of these thoughts that Lilly reached the park. It was the very same park where once Cher filmed Lilly with Ellen, playing in the snow. Lilly kept that tape as a treasure, even though she didn’t have a VCR to play it.

Lilly stood there, with her memories, until a man’s voice brought her back to Earth.

“You know, it’s dangerous for a girl to come here alone at night,” The guy said, stopping right in front of Lilly. Lilly was tall, but this guy was taller than she was. With the help of the moonlight, Lilly could see he had green eyes and dark hair, and was probably about her age.

“Well, I’m not alone anymore.” She answered, not sure why she was trusting that stranger.

“I’m Jake Campbell.” He said as he took Lilly’s hand and kissed it.

Lilly smiled. “I’m Lilly Rush.”

“So, what is a girl like you doing here, alone, in this wonderful night?” Jake asked.

“It’s my prom night.” Lilly answered, expecting Jake to ask her why she wasn’t at the party, and then she would tell him a bit of her story, and he would run away like all the guys did.

He didn’t ask about it though. “I can’t say I’m sorry you didn’t make it.” He said.

Lilly felt relieved this was just going to be small talk. “What about you, Jake? What are you doing here in this desert park on a Friday night?” She asked, sitting in one of the swings.

“I don’t know. I didn’t feel like staying home and my feet brought me here.” Jake answered, sitting on the swing next to Lilly.

Lilly looked around the park, avoiding to look at Jake. What was happening to her? She knew better than to trust in strangers.

“You know, Jake, I really need to get back home. It was nice talking to you though.” She got up from the swing.

“Oh, you have to go already?” Jake said, disappointed. ”We’re having a nice talk.”

“Yeah, but I really need to go…sorry. I’ll see you around.” She turned away to leave.

Jake walked after her, “Lilly, just one thing.”

She turned around. “What?”

“You look amazing with the wind in your hair.” He put his hands in his pockets. Lilly stayed there, he said, “That’s all I wanted to say.”

Lilly looked down for a while, thinking. She looked again at a Jake, and said, with a smile, “You know, you can walk me home if you want. It seems like it’s going to be a windy journey.”

Jake ran to catch her. “Let’s go, it’s getting late for a young girl to be on the streets.”

After a fifteen-minute walk, they arrived in front of Lilly’s building.

“So, this is where I live. Apartment 4-A” Lilly said.

“I might come back here tomorrow.” Jake said, smiling.

“OK.” Lilly said, not really believing he was ever going to come back.

“I’m serious.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“See you tomorrow.” He said, and left.

Lilly waited until he turned around the corner to get inside the building. She laughed as she opened the door, pretty sure she was never going to see that guy again.

But Lilly was wrong. Jake did come back the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that day. And he kept coming back, until the days became weeks, the weeks became months, and the months became years…

~~~

To be continued

~~~

[Tati]

Chapter 8 – “Twists”

“Hey, I want to use the bathroom too!” Christina yelled to Lilly. “You’ve been in there for hours.”

“I’m almost finished.” Lilly said, and unlocked the door. She came outside, “You know tonight is really important.”

“I know, I know, it’s your second-year anniversary with Jake. You don’t need to remember me for the 100th time.” Christina said, as she entered the bathroom to put on make-up.

“How do you think I look?” Lilly asked.

Christina stopped what she was doing and turned back to Lilly. “You look fine, but you don’t look like you’re going to celebrate your anniversary. Why don’t you put on a dress?”

“We’re just going to drive around for a while, and maybe have some burgers. I’ll be simple. Besides that, you know I can’t ride his motorcycle if I’m wearing a dress.” Lilly said, as she checked her purse.

“This is something I don’t get.” Christina said, coming out of the bathroom. “This guy has a super cool motorcycle, but he’s taking you out for burgers on your anniversary.”

“I already told you, the motorcycle was a gift from his uncle.” Lilly said.

Christina laughed. “Yeah, right. And those boots he gave you for Christmas, Santa Claus brought to him.”

Lilly sighed, annoyed. “Why do you think you know everything?”

“Let’s face it, sister, I’m a bit smarter than you.”

Lilly held her sister’s chin and turned her face so she could look at her eyes. “Then I guess I don’t need to tell you to be careful.”

“Lil, I’m fifteen. It’s not like it’s my first date either.” Christina said, laughing.

From outside, there was the sound of a honk.

“Go, it’s probably Jake.” Christina said.

“Be home by 11 p.m.” Lilly said, seriously, as she opened the door.

“Yeah, ok.” Christina answered. Lilly closed the door and left, not sure her sister had listened to her.

Outside the building, Jake was waiting for Lilly in his motorcycle.

“Hello, beautiful!” He said, kissing her. “You look amazing.”

“You always say that.” Lilly says, putting her arms around his neck. “I can’t trust you.”

“Well, that is true. For me, you always be the most beautiful woman in the world.” Jake said, kissing Lilly one more time.

“So, what was that important thing you needed to tell me?”

“Let’s leave it for the end. Are you hungry?”

“Just a little.”

“Well, I’m starving. Let’s eat first, and then I’ll take you to a special place.” He said then got back on his motorcycle. Lilly hopped on behind him and they left.

~~~

After they ate, Jake drove around the neighborhood for a while.

“Where are we going, Jake?” Lilly asked after 15 minutes. “It’s the third time we drive by this street.”

“I thought you liked to drive around on the motorcycle.” Jake said, trying to sound surprised.

“Yeah, but I’m curious to know where we are going and what are you going to tell me.”

“Ok, ok.” He said, turning the motorcycle around. “I can’t really wait either.” However, this time, he didn’t say it with his usual playful tone of voice.

In less than 5 minutes, they arrived at a very familiar place.

“Here. Let’s take a walk.” Jake said, hopping off the motorcycle and taking Lilly’s hand to help her.

“The park?” She asked, surprised.

“It’s not any park, it’s the park where we met. Are you disappointed?” Jake asked, taking Lilly’s hand as they walked inside the park.

“No, not at all.” Lilly answered, looking around. “Actually it was a nice idea. It’s a meaningful place and I haven’t been here in a while.” She looked at Jake and kissed him on the cheek. “You can take me anywhere, even to hell, and I’ll be happy, because I’ll be with you.”

Jake smiled, loving what he just heard. “Well, it’s actually really good to hear you say something like that.” He stopped as they arrived in front of the swings. He pointed one to Lilly. She sat down, and he sat on the swing by her side.

They remained quiet for a couple of minutes, until Jake said, “Did I ever mention my Uncle Bob?

“He’s the one who gave you the motorcycle, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, that’s him. Did I tell you he’s a contractor?”

“I think you mentioned it once…” Lilly said. She smiled and said, “Did you bring me here to talk about your Uncle Bob?”

“I’m getting there,” He said, smiling too. “Be patient.”

“Ok.” She laughed. “I’m listening.”

“Well, the thing is, he offered me a job.” Jake said, not looking at Lilly.

“But this is great!” Lilly said, with a huge smile on her face. “This is going to be good for you, and for us.”

Jake turned to Lilly, with a serious look on his face. “Well, there’s a problem. It’s not here in Philadelphia. It’s a big project in Arizona.”

Lilly’s smile quickly disappeared. “Arizona? But that’s so far away.”

“I know Lil, and believe me, I almost didn’t take it, but I had to. You know how hard it is to find a good job around here.” He got up from the swing and kneeled in front of Lilly. “And with the money my uncle is going to pay me, we’ll be able to buy our farm upstate and get married.”

Lilly was overwhelmed with all that. She felt like there was a hurricane inside her head. “How long will you be gone?”

“Two years.” Jake answered, biting his lower lip. “I can still quit. You’re more important to me than anything else.

Lilly took a deep breath. “No, Jake, you should go. It’ll be worth the sacrifice.” It was hard for Lilly to say that, when what she really wanted to do was to beg Jake not to leave her.

“Will you wait for me?” He asked. Then he reached inside his pocket and handed Lilly a little box. Her eyes widened. She opened the box and when she saw the ring, she couldn’t help crying.

“Jake... this looks so expensive…” She said, as she picked up the ring from the box. “Are you sure this isn’t going to be a problem? You don’t need to give me a ring to make me wait for you.”

“Don’t worry, baby, I took care of it.” He said, holding her hands. “I sold my motorcycle.”

“But you love that motorcycle!” Lilly said, surprised.

“I can’t take it to Arizona with me, and when I come, I probably won’t want a motorcycle anymore.” He said, smiling.

Lilly shook her head, “Oh, Jake… this is the happiest and the saddest day of my life.” She smiled. “And answering your question, yes, I’ll wait forever for you.”

Jake took the ring and put it in her finger. They kissed passionately.

~~~

[Tati]

“Lilly, you got a letter from Jake!” Ellen said, as she woke up her daughter.

“Mom, what time is it?” Lilly said, rubbing her eyes and taking the letter.
“It’s 9, honey.” Ellen said, looking at the other daybed, next to Lilly’s, where Christina was sleeping. “I think I’m gonna let her sleep a little more. She came home late last night.”

“Yeah, like everyday.” Lilly said, getting up and heading to the bathroom. “And only God knows what she does on the street so late.” She then laughed. “I have an idea though.”

“Lilly, don’t talk like that about your sister.” Ellen said as Lilly brushed her teeth. “She’s a kid, she just wants to have fun.”

“Sure, but when I was her age, I was already working for two years. She needs to learn responsibility.” She took Jake’s letter and headed for the kitchen. “But I don’t want to have that conversation now.”

“Actually, me neither.” Ellen said, following Lilly. “I need to talk to you.”

“You certainly own me some explanation.” She said, laughing, as she noticed Ellen had made breakfast and set up the table, something she hadn’t done in years. “What’s going on, Mom?” She said, sitting on the table and pouring some coffee.

Ellen picked up a piece of paper from above the refrigerator and handed to Lilly. “Here, look. I joined a rehab program. I realized that the alcohol is making me lose my daughters, and I don’t want to happen.”

Lilly was speechless. For so many times she tried to convince her Mom to get help, without success. Lilly had already given up the hope that some reason would ever come to Ellen’s head. “Mom, this is wonderful. I’m really glad you decided to do this.”

“So am I. But this is not going to be easy, and I’m really going to need your help.” Ellen said, sitting next to Lilly and taking her hand. “I don’t think I can do this alone.”

“Mom, if I haven’t given up on you until now, then now I certainly won’t.” Lilly said. “I’ll be here for you. Me and Chris too.”

Ellen smiled, truly happy. “Aren’t you going to open your fiancé’s letter?” She asked, pointing to Jake’s letter on the table.

“Yeah, sure.” Lilly said, opening the letter. She read it quickly, and as she reached the end, a huge smile took over her face.

“He’s coming back!” She said, almost yelling. “He’s coming back! Finally, after two years, I can’t believe I’m going to see him again?”

“When is he arriving?” Ellen asked.

“Tomorrow, at 7 p.m.” Lilly said. “I can meet him at the train station after work.” She couldn’t take the smile off her face. “Oh Mom, I’m so happy!”

“I’m happy for you too, baby.” Ellen said, tucking Lilly’s hair behind her ears. “And I hope that, from now on, you’ll only have good things in your life.”

Lilly smiled. It sure looked it was going to be that way. Finally.

~~~

To be continued

~~~

[Tati]

Chapter 9 – “Once in a Lifetime”

On the next day, the hours seemed to go by slower than usual, at least for Lilly. For the last year, she’d been working as a handwriting specialist for the Philadelphia Crime Lab. After Jake left, she decided she need to do something about her work life. If he was going so far to save money so they could buy their farm upstate, and get married, she should do her part too. So, took a course, got a degree, and quickly got the job. Besides paying a lot better than her previous job, she was closer to her old dream of becoming a Police Officer. She wasn’t really sure that dream would ever come true, though. If everything went well between her and Jake, she would never be able to pursue that dream. It bothered her not being able to have both things, but having Jake was certainly more important.

Lilly looked at her watch. 5.59 p.m. “Finally!” She thought, organizing the stuff on her desk and getting her purse. She usually worked overtime, but on that day she left at 6 p.m. sharp.

It took her about 40 minutes to get to the train station. She checked the platform Jake’s train was going to be in, and, at 6.45 p.m., she began to wait. At first she tried to sit, but she couldn’t stay still, so she paced the platform for the following fifteen minutes.

The train arrived and many people started to come out. Lilly kept looking at the train’s doors, trying to find Jake. However, it was almost impossible to locate someone in the middle of so many passengers, their relatives and all the hugs between people who hadn’t seen each other for a long time.

“Hello, beautiful,” Lilly heard a voice from behind her. She recognized that voice immediately. She turned around and hugged Jake, probably the tighter embrace of their lives. They kissed several times.

“I’m so glad to see you,” Lilly said, “I almost can’t believe this day arrived.”

“Me neither, baby,” Jake said holding Lilly’s face. “But I’m here.”

“You’re not leaving anymore, are you?” Lilly asked, then kissed him one more time.

Jake scratched his head. “Well… this is complicated. I’m still expecting a call from my uncle. Let’s go to my parents’ house, and leave my stuff there. I can’t wait to hear about all you did in these two years.” Jake said, taking his suitcase, and they started to walk.

“Didn’t you read my letters?” Lilly asked, as Jake put his free hand around her neck.

“Of course, but I want more details. I can never get enough of you.” Jake said, making Lilly smile hugely with his words.

“Everything is fine. My job is going great, my sister is going to graduate from high school, which I never thought would happen; and, you’re not going to believe this, my Mom joined a rehab program.” Lilly told as they walked.

“Wow, this is really great, I’m so happy for you,” Jake said kissing her forehead. Lilly smiled. She was happy to have him back, but something was different. She couldn’t point it if she was asked, but Jake was definitely hiding something.

~~~

Jake had been in Philadelphia for a week. Lilly was starting to feel a little disappointed because he hadn’t mentioned anything about their future. Jake was still sweet and caring as he always, which made her think that maybe she was just worrying too much, like she did sometimes.

She was having dinner at Jake’s house, with him and his parents, when the phone rang. Mrs. Campbell went to answer it, and much to everyone’s surprise, she said, “Lilly, dear, it’s for you. It’s your sister.”

Lilly ran to the phone, feeling her body go cold. Her mother. “Christina?” She said, worried, as she took the phone.

“Lil, I’m so sorry, but I need you.” Christina began.

“Where are you?” Lilly interrupted.

“At the police station.” Christina answered. Lilly was speechless. “I was at a party, and we were drinking, and the neighbors called the police. Now they want a responsible adult to take me, and I figured I’d better call you, and not mom.”

Lilly took a deep breath, still not believing how far her sister had gone. “Give me the address.” She said, dryly. She wrote down the address and hung up the phone. She then turned to the Campbells and said, “I’m really, but I have to go. My sister needs me.”

“What happened, can we help?” Mr. Campbell asked.

“No, thanks, Mr. Campbell, I can take care of it alone.” She took her coat and purse and rushed outside. Jake followed her.

“Lilly, what’s going on?” Jake asked, as Lilly called a cab.

“Christina. She’s in jail. She was drinking at a party. I have to go bail her out of it.” Lilly said, and the initial shock was starting to turn into anger.

“Oh, my God.” Jake said, shocked. “I’ll go with you.”

“No, Jake,” Lilly shook her head. A cab stopped to pick her up. “Thanks, but I don’t want to put you in the middle of this.” She entered the cab and left.

Jake walked back into his house, and his mother said, “Son, you have a call from Arizona, it’s your Uncle Bob.” Jake sighed. He was finally going to learn about his future.

~~~

[Tati]

Lilly arrived at the police station about 20 minutes later. She asked the desk clerk for information, and he pointed her towards a woman down the hall.

“Excuse me,” Lilly said, approaching the woman, “I’m Lilly Rush. Christina Rush’s sister.”

“Oh, hello,” the woman said back. “I’m Michele Benedict, from Social Services.”

“Social Services?” Lilly asked, surprised and also worried.

“Well, your sister is a minor, and she was found drinking alcohol. The officers reported it.” Ms. Benedict answered. “Don’t worry, Miss Rush. I just need to ask a few questions, and you two will be able to go.”

“Sure, but where’s Christina? I really would like to see her.” Lilly said, looking around, trying to find Christina.

“She’s inside. Let’s see her. It would be better if she was present when I talked to you.”

They walked into one of the interrogation rooms. Christina was sitting there, along with another girl and a police officer. “Officer Smith, will you take Miss Andrews to another room? I need to speak with Miss Rush and her sister alone.” The officer did what he was told without saying a word.

“So, Miss Rush,” Ms. Benedict said to Lilly, “As I said, I just want to ask a few questions, and if everything’s OK you two will be free to go.”

“Please go on.” Lilly said to Ms. Benedict. The whole time she was in the room, she didn’t look once at Christina.

“How many adults live with in the house, with Christina?” Ms. Benedict began.

“Two. Me, I’m 22, and our Mom.” Lilly answered.

“But none of you were in the house tonight.”

“Well, our Mom works the graveyard shift at a convenience store, and I was having dinner at my fiancé’s house.”

Ms. Benedict took notes and said, “You see, Miss Rush, what happened today is a very serious thing. I’m going to let Christina walk today, but if this event repeats itself, there’ll be charges brought to the adult responsible for her.” She pauses for a moment, “That would be you?”

Lilly nodded. “Yes. Our Mom is going through some … “ She stuttered, “Personal problems right now. With our grandparents, they’re very old. It’d be better if I handled the situation with Christina. I have a stable situation, I’m engaged, I have a job.”

“Well, fine,” Ms. Benedict said, filling out a paper. “But you’ll be responsible for Christina’s actions until she turns 18.”

“Don’t worry, Ms. Benedict.” Lilly said, looking at Christina for the first time, “This won’t happen again.” Christina looked down when she felt Lilly’s gaze.

Lilly signed all the papers she had to and they left. They were already walking for five minutes when Christina finally had the courage to say something, “I’m so sorry, Lil, I swear to God, I didn’t know there was going to be alcohol in the party…”

“Shut up, Christina!” Lilly yelled. “I’m not stupid. You, on the other hand, seem to be.” She kept talking as they walked. “Is this the life you want to have? Do you want to end up like Mom? Age 40 and working as a desk clerk at a convenience store? Going to AA meetings?”

Christina’s eyes were full of tears. “I don’t know why I do the things I do. I just want to have fun.”

“Well, I think you had enough fun already.” Lilly said, stopping. “Listen, tomorrow, I’m taking you for a job interview at the ice-cream shop. I heard they need a waitress there. You’re going to get that job, and from then on, you’re going to go to school, and go to work, and come home. You get it? You’re not going to put me through this again.”

Lilly had lectured Christina many times in their lives, but that was the first time that Christina didn’t answer back. She just said, “OK, Lil.”

And the two sisters walked the rest of their way home in complete silence.

~~~

Three days later…

Jake picked up Lilly at work and took her for a walk in the park.

“I don’t know if I should be happy or worried about this,” Lilly said as they walked.

“About what?” Jake asked.

“About you bringing me here. Every time we come together to this park something decisive happens.” She said, smiling at him.

Jake laughed. He then said, seriously, “Well…I wanted you to be happy with this, but I don’t think you’re going to be.”

Lilly felt that cold shiver down her spine. “You have to go back to Arizona? The project is not ready?”

“No, it is ready. Everything went perfectly.” Jake answered, “My Uncle decided to begin a company, instead of taking only independent projects. He called me the day Christina got arrested and he offered me a managing position.”

Lilly couldn’t believe it. That certainly was the end of their dreams of buying a farm, but it would be a million times better for them. Why Jake wasn’t happy about it? “This is amazing, Jake.”

Jake looked down. “But he decided to stay in Arizona. I want you to come and live there with me. After we get married, of course.”

“What about my Mom and my sister?” Lilly asked, although she already knew the answer.

“We really can’t take them. At least I won’t have the conditions to support you three. The city we will live in is really small and antiquated, there aren’t many jobs for women.”

Lilly looked down, and sighed. “I can’t leave them, Jake. Not now. If I leave, my Mom will quit rehab and my sister will get more lost in life than she already is.”

Jake took Lilly’s hand. “We could wait a little more, and you’ll come to meet me when you think they’re ready to be on their own.”

Lilly laughed. “I don’t know if this day will ever come.”

Jake shook his head. “I don’t what to do, Lil. All my family is moving there, including my parents. I never thought I’d get a chance like that in my life. This is something that happens once in a lifetime.” He bit his lip, “But I also know that a love like ours is something that happens only once in a lifetime too.”

Lilly smiled, sadly. “At least we’re lucky to meet each other. Some people go through their whole lives without meeting their one true love.”

Jake had tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to end this, Lil.”

“We don’t have to end it. Something like what we have here never ends. We will just follow our paths, and one day, who knows, we might have the chance to finish what we started.” She was holding his face with her hands.

They stood in silence for a few moments.

“I think you should go no. The longer we stay here, the harder it’ll be.” Lilly said.

Jake nodded. “You’re right. I’m leaving the day after tomorrow, so…”

“…You probably have a lot of things to see, and to prepare,” Lilly completed.

Jake kissed Lilly’s forehead. “Take care of yourself, fix your family. We’re not over.”

Lilly nodded, and smiled. “Have a good life.”

“Don’t say that, Lil! We’ll see each other soon.” Jake said, really meaning it. He kissed her one last time and turned to leave.

Lilly watched Jake walk away, and when he couldn’t hear her anymore, she repeated, “Have a good life.”

~~~

To be continued

~~~

On the next chapter: All experiences in our lives bring something good. Lilly finds a reason to go on with her life, and she’s as happy as she can be. Until Christina makes the worst mistake of her life - one that Lilly might never be able to forgive.

[Disasterfreak]

Great way of making everything link together, Tati! I feel sorry for Lilly, though, knowing she's gonna lose this great guy. You're making Christina snatch him away, aren't you

[TVFan]

Great chapters Tati! I'm very interested to see where you take this story. You always have me guessing! Great job! Can't wait for the next chapters!

[Tati]

A/N: Here’s the last one. Thank you so much for everyone who read it. I hope you all enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Now, I’d like to hear your final reviews, please...

“Lilly & Christina”

Chapter 10 – “The strongest love of all”

~~~

“There’s nothing in this world that’s totally bad. Even at the worst times of our lives, if we wait, we’ll see something good there too.” The Rushs had a neighbor, a very sick old lady, who would always say that. Lilly never understood how this poor, lonely woman found the strength to believe in something like that. Obviously, this piece of wisdom acquired a whole new meaning when, two months after Jake left; Lilly found out that she was pregnant.

The people around Lilly never understood why she never called Jake and told him about the baby. Or why she never open the letters he sent her. For Lilly, the fact that she was pregnant couldn’t change the course of life. She still couldn’t leave Philadelphia, and Jake still wouldn’t be able to come back. She was going to have that baby alone anyway, so she decided she would leave Jake out of it. A very weak explanation, she knew that, but after Grace was born, no one talked about Jake anymore.

One month before Lilly gave birth, she, Christina and Ellen moved to another apartment, on a better part of Philadelphia. The neighborhood was calm, they had good schools nearby, and the apartment had plenty of room for little Grace to explore, when she became old enough for that.

However, now that she still two months old, Grace spent most of her time sleeping, but still, she was the biggest source of concern for her young mother. Lilly had just been back to work for a week, so she had no choice but leaving Grace with Ellen during the day, and, if Lilly had to work overtime, Christina would step in as babysitter.

With Ellen in rehab and Christina doing well in her job, Lilly thought she would finally be able to think about herself for a while, for the first time in her life. Of course, now thinking about herself meant thinking about her and Grace. But Lilly didn’t even have to time to celebrate when a suspicion began to haunt the Rush house again.

“Lil,” Christina came out of Ellen’s room, “I think Mom is drinking again.” It was a sunny Sunday afternoon, and Christina was doing some cleaning, while Lilly made dinner, and Grace was sleeping.

“It can’t be, Chris. I’ve been following her close.” Lilly said, not taking her eyes off the food she was preparing.

“Well, I found this under a stack of clothes in her wardrobe.” Christina said, holding out a half-empty bottle of scotch. “And it’s not the only one.”

Without saying anything, Lilly turned off the stove and followed Christina, who showed Lilly the bottles: scotch, vodka... Ellen had plenty of options. Lilly remained speechless for a while, then she finally said. “I can’t believe this is going on. I can’t deal with this right now, with Grace and everything else.”

Christina and Lilly shared a look. They both knew they were thinking the same thing, but Christina was the one who said it. “You can’t leave Grace with her anymore.”

Lilly sat on the bed. She held her head with her hands. “What am I going to do? I can’t afford daycare.”

Christina sat down next to Lilly. “Let’s not go crazy yet. Let’s confront Mom, maybe this is all a misunderstanding.”

Lilly laughed. “Oh yeah. She’s keeping the bottles for a friend.” She shook her head. “But I will talk to her tonight. I can’t believe I have no choice but leave my baby with a drunk all day long.”

Grace started crying, so their conversation was over. Lilly went to see her, while Christina was getting the table ready for dinner.

That night, they waited for Ellen until 10 p.m. They ate their dinner without Ellen. Christina went out for a walk, while Lilly stayed in the house with Grace.

“You know, baby girl,” Lilly said, “I’m the worst mother you could ever had. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, I can’t fix this family for you.” The little girl watched Lilly intently as she spoke, “I always promised myself I’d give my children a better life. But instead, you’re going to grow up without a father, without enough money, in a totally dysfunctional family.” Lilly wiped the tears from her eyes, “I’m sorry, Grace”.

Lilly’s “conversation” was suddenly interrupted by the sound of the front door being slammed open.

“Christina!” Lilly quickly yelled as she ran to the living room. But this time it wasn’t Chris who had arrived “too happy” from a party.

It was Ellen. And she was crying and laughing at the same time. “Lilly!” Ellen said as she ran and hugged her daughter. Lilly easily felt the familiar smell of alcohol. “This is funny. After months of deprivation, I finally feel this pleasant feeling again. But I’m crying. Why?”

Lilly was so angry she was having a hard time finding the words to say something. “Because you know you screwed up, Mom. Again.” Lilly said coldly.

“I promised I won’t do this again, baby. Tomorrow I’ll be sober, and I’ll play with my little Gracie the whole day long.”

“No, you’re not!” Lilly said, walking around the living room, trying to stay away from Ellen. “I can’t trust my daughter to you anymore!”

Ellen’s face turned serious. Suddenly, she realized what she had done. She had been able to gain her daughters’ trust again. Lilly was even trusting her to take care of her daughter. And now Ellen had just tossed all that trust in the garbage. “I swear, it was only a one time thing.” She lied.

“No, it was not, Mom. Chris and I found the bottles hidden in your wardrobe.”

Ellen didn’t say anything. What was the point of lying? If there was one thing she knew for sure, was that her oldest daughter was not stupid. Finally, she gathered some words. “What can I do for you to forgive me, Lilly?”

“I don’t know, Mom.” Lilly said, shaking her head, and then walking back to her bedroom.

~~~

[Tati]

~~~

The following two weeks were really tense at the Rushs’. In the first days, Lilly called in sick, and covered the graveyard shift, after a week she couldn’t do it anymore. Christina took a week off work to keep an eye on Ellen and on Grace during the day, but she was not happy about it.

“I need your help, Chris.” Lilly said one day during breakfast. “You’re entitled to this week; I talked to your boss.”

“I can’t believe you talked to my boss about that!” Christina yelled, going back to being the annoying brat she always was. “You didn’t have this right!” She paced the kitchen. “You know, Lil, I don’t like the idea of raising your kid!”

“Well I’m not asking you to do that!” Lilly said, starting to get the dishes off the table. “And I certainly never will, at least while I’m sane!” She stopped and faced Christina. “But if one day I ask you that, don’t forget that I raised you.”

Christina was silent for a while. “Lil, seriously, I think Mom hasn’t drunk since that Sunday. We can trust her.”

In the back of her head, Lilly knew Christina could be right. It really seemed like Ellen had changed more in these two weeks than in the whole last year where she went to rehab. But with Ellen’s background, Lilly wasn’t feeling secure enough to trust her mother again yet.

“You’re taking next week off, like you promised.” Lilly said, finishing what she was doing. “And then we’ll see.”

~~~

The next week went rather calmly. Lilly was feeling better around Ellen, but had to deal with Christina’s bad attitude. For the first time in her life, Christina was feeling the weight of the problems their family had, and she definitely wanted to avoid taking responsibilities. Because she didn’t want to end up like her older sister – living for other people, and never for herself.

Then, things started to come back to normal. Lilly and Christina went back to their usual working schedule, and Lilly had no choice but leaving Grace alone with Ellen during the day. She warned the neighbors and asked them to call if anything weird was going on, but that didn’t make it easier for her at all.

One day, Lilly was completely swamped with work. At about 7:30 p.m., she called her house, and told Christina – who usually arrived from work at 7:00 p.m. that she was going to be late. Christina complained about taking care of Grace again, like usual, but agreed to stay. Lilly went back to her work.

Meanwhile, at the Rushs’, Ellen left to work at about 8 p.m. Christina then gave Grace a bath, and fed her. The little girl quickly started to show that she wanted to sleep. Christina was more than happy with that, because it meant she could watch TV, and maybe even smoke, without having to worry about Grace – who usually slept several hours without waking up.

While Christina was getting Grace ready for bed, the little girl was playing with a rattle. Grace could barely hold that rattle, but it was her favorite toy.

“I can’t believe you like that thing!” Christina said to her niece, laughing “It belonged to your mother, it’s so old. I bought you a new one and you didn’t even look at it.”

She picked up Grace, and walked with her for a while, shaking the rattle. The little girl seemed amused by the noise made by the stuff that was inside. “Time to go to bed, now, young lady.” Christina said, putting Grace in her crib.

However, Grace was really attached to the rattle, and wasn’t pleased with the possibility of letting it go.

“You really like that thing, don’t you?” Christina said, surprised. She wondered if a 3-month-old baby was supposed to be so attached to a toy. “Well, being your mother’s daughter, you’re probably precocious.” She said, giving the rattle to Grace. It probably wouldn’t hurt to leave it there. In a matter of two minutes, Grace was already sleeping, so there would be no problem.

Christina walked back to the living room. She picked up her bag and started looking for something. “Job is done, now, time to relax.” She laughed as she pictured Lilly’s face if she found out she was smoking pot. She lit up a cigarette and started smoking.

As the drug started to kick in, Christina started seeing everything different. Drunk mother, controlling older sister, crying niece, boring job, her damn life; it seemed like all those things were drifting away from her. She was able to be herself, no strings attached.

Christina was so immersed in her “trip” she didn’t hear when Grace woke up, even though the living room was close to Lilly’s bedroom. She didn’t even hear the sound of the rattle when Grace rolled over, belly down; and kept playing with the rattle. Oh, if Lilly saw that Christina let Grace take that dirty rattle to her mouth...

~~~

[Tati]

~~~

“I’m home,” Lilly said, noticing Christina sleeping on the couch. It was over midnight by then. The TV was on but Christina seemed to be sleeping for quite a while.

Lilly walked over to her bedroom. She went to Grace’s crib to check on her, like she did everyday. She loved to stay by the side of the crib, only watching Grace’s breathing movements when she was sleeping.

But Grace wasn’t moving. Lilly’s first though was “You’re just an overworried mother”, but before she could even finish that thought, she picked up Grace from the crib. The little girl wasn’t breathing. The rattle was under Grace, and it seemed to be missing one of its outside pieces. All in the blink of an eye, Lilly saw herself telling Christina not long ago, “Never let her play with my old rattle. I know she likes it, but I’m afraid it’s too old, and its pieces are getting loose.” A wave of desperation ran through Lilly’s body.

“Christina!” She screamed with all the force in her lungs, as she took Grace to her bed, and started checking on her. Grace was still warm, but she had no pulse.

Christina came running, “What’s going on, why are you screaming...” She stopped, shocked, as she looked at Lilly, who was trying to do something that looked like CPR on Grace.

“What happened?” Christina said, terrified. She watched what Lilly was trying to do, and said “You’re doing it all wrong!” She tried to take over but Lilly shoved her away.

“She’s not breathing!” Lilly said, barely able to talk among her tears. “I think she swallowed a small piece from the rattle.”

“Oh my God...” Christina started to say, her eyes now filled with tears.

“You didn’t hear anything, she didn’t make any noise?” Lilly asked, still trying to see if she found any foreign body on Grace’s mouth.

Christina walked a few steps away, looked down, “I don’t know, Lil.” Lilly quickly glanced at her sister, but went back to Grace. “I was high,” Christina completed.

Lilly didn’t have time or a chance to digest that. She stopped her CPR attempt. She looked at Grace. No movement, no pulse, no breathing. Lilly fell on her knees on the floor, and the crying took over her.

“Why did you stop? We have to do something, let’s call an ambulance!” Christina yelled, shaking Grace very gently. Christina then tried to pull Lilly up by her arm. “Come on, Lilly, we can’t give up!!” She tried again, her voice muffled by the tears.

Lilly didn’t say a word, just shook her head. “She’s gone,” Lilly finally said. Christina looked one more time at Grace’s inert little body; then walked away; leaned against a wall, let the tears take over her too.

~~~

It was about 1 p.m., as Lilly sat in a cafe just outside the police station. Watching families together outside always brought her a bittersweet feeling. Exactly one year had passed after her daughter’s tragic death, and even though she envied those mothers who could hold their babies, she wasn’t angry at life anymore.

She was angry at herself, though, for giving up. Giving up on her mother, on her sister. For leaving home so abruptly the day after Grace’s death. Actually, that anger was only occasional. Most of time, she was trying to forget all the anger she still felt towards her sister. “It was just a mistake,” Lilly repeated to herself. But this mistake was still stabbing her heart, day after day.

“Look at that. Officer Lilly Rush!” Joe Green said, standing by the table Lilly was sitting at. Joe was the officer who did the report and the investigation on the violent crime Lilly’s family was a victim over fifteen years ago. Lilly and Joe kept in touch for many years but they hadn’t seen each other in a very long time. Joe was now retired.

“Joe! It’s so good to see you!” Lilly said, hugging Joe.

They sat at the table. Joe watched Lilly for a while. “So, from what I hear, you walked a rough path until you arrived here.”

“Yeah,” Lilly nodded, with a sad smile. “But I’m happy, you know. I learned the hard way that my family just can’t be helped. But there are still a lot of people out there who need me, and I can’t give up on them.”

Joe smiled. “You shouldn’t give up on your family either, Lilly. Your sister and your mother are all you got.”

“I know. I’m not a very lucky person, never was.” She replied. “I don’t know Joe. One day I might forgive my sister, but I really can’t do this right now. I just can’t. I can’t look at Christina or at my mother.”

“Lilly...” Joe said, in a fatherly tone. “Everything happens for a reason. We must learn from our experiences, and not toss then in the garbage like they never meant anything.”

“But I learned a lot!” Lilly said, laughing. “I learned that I shouldn’t give up on my dreams for other people, especially people who don’t deserve it. I learned that, no matter how hard I try, sometimes, I will fail. And most important, I found out that I have something to fight for, call it a mission, and that I can still make my life worthwhile.”

“Lilly, be careful. You lost the love of your life, you lost your daughter, you don’t talk to your family anymore, you even cut your beautiful hair. I know where you’re headed. Don’t let your work become your life.”

Lilly sighed, looked around for a while. “You’re right, Joe. Everything has a reason. And maybe everything that happened to me were the reasons I needed to be here, where I am today, where I believe I should be.”

Joe smiled. “I have no doubts this is where you should be. I always knew, I think since from the first time I saw you, that you were meant to kick those bad guys asses.”

Lilly laughed. “Thanks, Joe. You know, in spite of everything, I’m really happy with me now.”

Joe glanced at his watch. “Isn’t it time for the afternoon round, Officer Rush?”

Lilly smiled. “Yeah, it is.” They both stood up, paid for their lunch and left the cafe. “I’m glad to see you.”

They crossed the street and stood in front of the police station. “I’m glad to see you here. Where you always wanted to be.” He paused. “In spite of everything.” Another pause and Joe said, now smiling. “Gotta go now. Time to play with the grandkids!”

Lilly watched Joe walk away, until he disappeared on the corner. She looked at her watch. She took a longer lunch that she should have. She smiled to herself, and walked back into the police station.

~~~

THE END

~~~

[TVFan]

Bravo Tati! You took a very difficult backstory with very little information and managed to turn it into a beautifully written narrative that jives perfectly with the little information we know about Lilly Rush. You stayed true to her character as well as Christina's character. Wonderful story, and a very moving and emotional ending.

[Tati]

thanks for all your very nice reviews TVFan! I'm really glad you enjoyed my story!

[Naj]

I like how you created the story of how Lily is influenced in her choice for her career. And you took from that episode where Lilly says she worked in hand writing analysis before becoming a homicide detective. Very clever.

You had me going there about Chris, I thought you would go the route of how she steals Lily's boyfirend or husband but you actually have Lilly getting pregnant and irresponsible Chris being as irresponsible as Ellen.

I think you did a great job on this.


~Naj

[Tati]

thanks Naj!

At first I was going to go with the idea of Chris stealing Lil's boyfriend, but I wasn't really satisfied with that. For me it doesn't seem enough reason for 2 sisters to be estranged for so many years.
And then while discussing this with a friend, I suddenly thought "well, the love for a child is much more stronger and bigger than the love for a man", and that's where I got the idea. I liked it because I needed to write something that I personally considered unforgivable, and that one suited perfectly.

[Disasterfreak]

I really liked your story, but the part about the baby was way too sad for me. It's great for fanfic, but I'd rather not see it happening to Lil on the show. I don't know if you could ever get over something like that.