Kidnapped

[Shorty]

umm... i couldnt sleep last night so i started this fiction, i would apreciate feedback and ideas on how to make it better, this is the first time ive used other peoples characters in a story, i hope you like it so far,

disclaimer: only the victom and friends are mine

A young couple are sitting at a table in a fancy restaurant. The woman looks to be about 20, with slightly curly light brown hair down past her shoulders and dark brown eyes, the man, 25, with short black hair and hazel eyes. Finishing her meal, the woman lays her knife and fork down on her plate before looking shyly at the man and asking “so…what was it that you wanted to talk about?” the man picks up his glass and takes a swallow, watching her from over the rim, when he replaces it, we can se a grin on his face “ahh, yes…there was something…what was it?”
“Come on Phill, don’t tease”
Phill’s grin widens
“Ok then”
He scrapes back his chair before getting down on one knee and fishing around in his pocket. When he pulls out a little box, the woman’s eyes widen and her hands cover her mouth. Flipping open the box, Phill looks her in the eye and asks
“Rebecca Ashby, will you marry me?”
Rebecca nods her head vigorously and takes her hands away from her mouth to whisper “yes”
Taking her hand, Phill slips the ring on her finger before kissing her

The scene fades into a rain-drenched ally where Phill's body lies staring blindly with one arm outstretched as though reaching for someone or something, in the distance we can her Rebecca screaming “NO! LET ME GO! PHILL! PHIIIL!” and sounds of a struggle

Present day

Lilly Rush ran into the police department, out of breath. Her alarm had neglected to go off this morning and to top that of, the taxi had failed to show up, she was well and truly, late for work. As she ran, the doors of the lift started to slide shut “no, no, no no, NO!” mentally, she tried to will the doors to stay open for 10 more seconds, but, to her annoyance, they shut in 2.
“Drat” she muttered before heading for the stairs
“This is not my day”

[Disasterfreak]

Good start, Shorty! Well, I see it's gonna be a casefile, which is great. Can't wait to see where you take this. I like fics where the authors show Lil just being human (like getting late to work). Crossing my fingers for an update.

[Shorty]

thanx Disasterfreak
heres the next bit

When she reached headquarters, she saw to her dismay, Scotty, Vera, Jeffries and Stillman all gathered in Stillman’s office, this could only mean that a new lead had come up

“DEFINATLY not my day” she moaned to herself as she dumped her bag at her desk and hurrying over. Irritated, tired and uncomfortable in her suit and it wasn’t even 9! Not the best way to start.

Not wanting to interrupt, she opened the door as quietly as possible, but she may as well not have bothered for all the good it did

“Sorry, my alarm didn’t go off” even after her explanation, she could almost hear them saying

“LILLY RUSH, late?” feeling slightly embarrassed and more that a little annoyed, she pointedly looked at Stillman and asked

“ So, what’s happening?” taking the hint, Stillman continued with what he had been about to say before she arrived

“April 19th, 2004, Phillip Richards..” here he handed a small ID photo to Scotty “…, was found, stabbed to death in a back street ally that leads of Vivian street. On the same night, his fiancée, Rebecca Ashby…” he handed the second photo to Jeffries “…, vanished, the last person to see the couple was.. Bruce Adams, when Phillip picked Rebecca up from her work”

“And why are we interested now?” asked Scotty who sounded anything but interested and rather grumpy. Picking up a video from his desk, Stillman inserted it into the video player and hit the ‘play’ button

“this was sent to us 2 days ago, but courtesy of our prompt delivery service, arrived today”. An image of Rebecca Ashby appeared on the screen, tears were running down her cheeks and she looked terrified, in the corner of the screen is the end of a gun pointing at her head, she took a shaky breath and started to read of a piece of paper

“My name is Rebecca Ashby, I was kidnapped in 2004 after witnessing my fiancé, Phillip Richards death, for the past year I have been held in an unknown location with a regular supply of food and water but soon I will be disposed of…” here the tape skipped and when it started again, there was blood on her face and she was crying harder “…disposed of and my captor will seek his next victim.” She looked up from the paper on her lap and straight into Lilly’s eyes

“stop him” she whispered. The tape ended, leaving Lilly staring at the blue screen and the other detectives watching her.

Roll credits

[Tati]

This is really interesting! Keep it going!

[Disasterfreak]

Original way of re-opening a case! This is good stuff, Shorty. Keep it coming.

[ruda]

great! ;D
I'm waiting on the next chapter!

Great work Shorty, realy great ;D

[TVFan]

Great story so far Shorty. You definitely grabbed my attention. I can't wait to hear what happens next. The part where Rebecca looked at Lilly through the TV screen and whispered "help me" was very eerie. I can't wait to read more!

[Shorty]

thanks guys for the positive comments ;D

sorry this took so long and its so short *kicks self*- will write more


In the box room, Lilly and Scotty scanned through the boxes, looking for Phillip Richards. So far, after half an hour, they hadn’t been able to locate it
“I've got Phillip Bell, would he do?” Scotty called, shaking her head; she decided not to dignify the question with an answer as she continued her search.

Finally, 5 minutes later, she spotted it, lurking, half hidden between Mansfield, James and Mandy, Jessica
“Got it!” she called, dragging the troublesome box from its hiding place and heading back to the office
“Great, I was beginning to wonder if there was one”
“stop moaning” she instructed him before pushing past with her load

“You two took your own sweet time” Vera welcomed as they approached. Scotty grimaced and replied
“Yea well it was kinda hard to locate owing to the fact that someone had filed it away in the ‘m’s” Vera glared at him
“Meaning…”
“That SOME of the detectives round here need to re-learn the alphabet!” concealing a grin, Lilly dumped the box down on her desk and flipped the lid off
“Lets see what we’ve got”, the incredulous look on her co-workers faces as they surveyed the disorganized mass of papers revealed nearly made her laugh, but she schooled her face to stillness and asked
“What?” they all shared a look before Scotty sighed and replied wearily
“nothing Lil”

[ruda]

O My Gosh...
Shorty I'll kill you if you not write here some more! ;D
This fic had a realy good baginning... PLEASE! give us more!

I can't wait.. ;D
BIG HUG

[Shorty]

rudaxf said:

O My Gosh...
Shorty I'll kill you if you not write here some more! ;D
This fic had a realy good baginning... PLEASE! give us more!

I can't wait.. ;D
BIG HUG

please- feel free to harass me until i do , thanks rudaxf *hugs back*

[TVFan]

Another great installment shorty. I can't wait to read the next one!

[Shorty]

10 hours showed a significant decrease on the amount of papers remaining unread, it also showed a decrease in the detectives enthusiasm for the case and the detective who had been on it

"whoever wrote this got the wrong job- Ive just read a page that describes in full detail our victim making a cup of coffee" Vera grumbled to the others

and indeed, most of the pages showed alot more detail on simple things like making a cup of coffee, than was necessary.

Vera threw the offending page on top of the pile of pages that had already been read, summarized and discarded before announcing

"well I'm going to head off"

the rest of the detectives looked at him in surprise
..........


ok sorry its so short again- i do mean to carry on but my fingers are freezing (its really cold here at the moment, no snow unfortunately- there never is in wellington but i live in hope) ill try and write some more when ive thawed out my fingers

[ruda]

it's ok Shorty!
but in next time give us something longer, please!!! ;D

I love yu fic. realy.

[Disasterfreak]

Your fic's really interesting, Shorty--but you gotta give us more. Sorry to be so demanding (like I should talk, LOL--haven't updated mine in over a week), but I really want to see where you're going with all this.

[Shorty]

i know- if i was the readers not the writer, i would be irrtated by how long it takes me to update and how short the updations are ... is updations a word ?... anyway, the reason i take so long is mum has a problem with the internet so i have to rely on sundays when im at my dads, sometimes they dont work out either so i jump on whenever i can at mums- this produces short instalments.

ill try to be better. glad you like it and please kick me if i go to long without updating- i have an annoying habit im trying to break- i get bored with a story and start a new one, forgeting all about the previous one

if i get time after ive finnished this stupid social studies assignment ill write more today

[Disasterfreak]

Don't worry, Shorty. I have the same problem. In fact I think "Casualty" is the only story I've written which will actually have a beginning and an end (except for a couple I wrote under pressure as a teenager, to send to contests). Thanks to the people who're pushing me to get it done. LOL.

[Shorty]

*sigh* i dont think i have one of those ..... wait a sec.... im lying- i have a short story i like called a ghosts tale, that i wrote for school and another one called Tigs Tale that i had to finish in a hurry so it sounds like ive bunged an ending where the middle should be ;D

glad to know im not the only one with this problem ;D

oh dear, im really sorry- the assignment took longer than i thought and i got a bit sidetracked, ill try and write dureing the week if mums not home, sorry again, hope you all have great weeks, and sorry

[Shorty]

ok, i only have half an hour so it might not be very long but not very long is better than none at all.
STUPID SOCIAL STUDIES ASIGNMENT!!!! if it hadn been for that, i could have added more yesterday and i wouldnt be in such a rush

........................................................................................

Vera ignored their suprised looks as he shrugged on his coat and and dug around in his pocket for his keys

"hey Vera, why are you heading off so early?" Scotty finnaly asked when it became clear Vera wasnt going to take the hint

"just..... stuff i gotta do"

"stuff like...?"

"stuff." and with that, Vera left finding his keys 'till later as he strode off quickly

Scotty and the rest of the team shared a puzzled look before continuing to read the tedious reports.

............

a few hours later ,
Stillman and Jeffries both announced they had other, more important things to do. an obvious lie, but Lilly couldnt blame them- she had had more fun watching the hands on a clock move.

.............

later still,
she realised that she had been stareing at the same word for over half an hour. disgusted, she put it back in the box. Scotty glanced up and grinned when he saw what she had done..

......................................................................................

oh shoot! got to run- mums due back any second, sorry its so short id write all day if i got the chance

*hugs all round*

[ruda]

don't cry Shorty. this fic is realy good. continue this, please...
I'm waiting ;D

[Shorty]

ok at long last ive got a chance to continue ;D

here goes
.........................................................................................

"glad im not the only one who cant concentrate"

he said, reterning his report as well. Lilly didnt want to admit she was getting sick of the case, and she knew she could cover it by picking up another report and starting to read again, but her mind went numb at the very thought. from the look on Scotty's face, he knew exactly what she was thinking. so she gave a non-comittal

"hnmm"

before asking

"you wanna go get something to eat?"

he gave her a grin that clearly said "i know your avoiding the issue, but ill let alone"

"yea sure, you got anywhere in mind?"

"nope"

"well lets get going"

they pulled on their coats and left the reports for tomorrow.

........................................................................................

ok, now i have to stop because i want to ask anyone readin this a question thats been bugging me

should i make this shippy?

please reply