Post by longislanditalian2 on Apr 27, 2008 21:56:43 GMT -5
After seeing Nancy’s spirit disappear it didn’t make Scotty feel any better, in fact he knew he had to come to term with what happened to Elisa. He couldn’t have stopped her anyway since the voices were driving her insane, they were powerful. Perhaps she needed that escape but wanted one change to say goodbye to tell Elisa just how much he loved her. Most important to hold the woman he had been with since childhood in his arms again. Scotty knew she was in a better place and needed to let go but thought back to the case.
When Lilly mentioned Elisa’s name, he knew she was also sensing his emotions. In the beginning while they interviewed Rachel; Nancy’s daughter the look in Lilly’s eyes told him that she missed her mother. Losing a parent line bothered him knowing she had no parents left, growing up with an absentee father and a drunken mother wasn’t that great. Scotty felt terribly for Lilly especially seeing the sadness that had lingered around since her shooting.
There were times that she reminded him of a Zombie while her inner emotions wanted to come out. Both the shooting and her mother’s death were eating Lilly up inside, just like what he felt when Elisa had died. Scotty thought he was strong but inside he never really admitted to his internal feelings but tried to help others.
Sure he had gone through all the stages of grieving except the last one: Acceptance. Not even letting the note float away in the river wasn’t enough for Scotty to let go. He needed time but instead buried it all down inside just like his partner Lilly Rush had always done. The two were alike in a lot of ways, trying to keep everything down pretended like everything was normal but in retrospect it wasn’t.
Scotty blamed himself so much the it was important to him to bring Nancy Patterson the justice she deserved. In a sense gave him some closure like it did to Lilly. He then thought about her seeing how she changed after that car ride with John Smith. Lilly seemed much more alive but even showed off that beautiful smile when really she was hurting miserably inside.
He couldn’t help a person that was about to help themselves. Like him Lilly was afraid to open up knowing what people might thing of her, especially after all she had gone through. The chances of them getting together were slim after his stupid fling with Christina. Why was he so stupid for sleeping with someone that Lilly had warned against?
The answer was simple: Grief mixing with Loneliness. Scotty didn’t want to be alone but was so overwhelmed he landed up almost destroying their friendship. It was lucky that Lilly was even still talking to him or better yet trusted him. How she managed to do that was beyond him but Scotty proved his worthiness to her. Of all the stupid things Scotty knew he had to move on and change in order to live with himself.
As John Smith said” Everyone has something that keeps them tethered to this world”. For Scotty it was Lilly knowing everyday he had to protect a woman he cared about so much. Then it all came back to Elisa perhaps he was scared that the same thing would eventually happen to him. Losing his whole mind and jumping into large body of water.
Now walking upstairs he noticed Lilly again seeing a woman who had no one but herself. There was no family left, besides a certain sister that was on the run. Scotty put himself in her shoes seeing through her eyes for a split second. It felt lonely, sad, but saw hope everything he felt deep down inside. Sure he had family but knew Lilly had no one but the squad to turn to.
He was the only one she opened up if she wanted to. Feeling compelled Scotty tried to resist the urge to talk to her knowing how Lilly pushed people away. He did that also not wanting to feel weak and needy but now a deep fear raced down his spine” What if Lil tries to do what Elisa had done, and I can’t save her” he thought?
“Worse if I see her body lyin there” seeing an image of her just after she had been shot. Breathing again Scotty came closer to Lilly” Lil we need to talk”.
As usual she was busy wrapping herself up with the case but he gently touched her arm” We both had somethin rattlin us”. Her blue eyes looking into his as if she didn’t want to engage. Now this was his chance to tell Lilly what had been plaguing him like a disease” I’m afraid of losin you, doin what Elisa had done”.
Lilly shut the door as she turned toward him” I’m not her Scotty, Elisa was sick there was nothing you could have done to save her”. With an intake of breath he grew frustrated” Saved you but just don’t want to find you dead somewhere”.
He hit the jackpot seeing the look displayed on her face, as Scotty saw the tears aching to spill out of her sapphire eyes. Pretending everything was okay when it wasn’t was now eating at Lilly knowing she didn’t have anyone to turn to. Then as usual brushed sucked back the sadness before leaving, Scotty wanted to help afraid about her killing herself. At night he hoped there would never be a call stating that Lilly had been found dead. Each day Scotty breathed a lot easier seeing the blonde woman whom he still wanted to love.
Now heading over to his old neighborhoods, he saw down watching some kids playing stickball. Remembering how he cried in Elisa’s lap relishing a memory about the first time he had seen her. Looking up Scotty saw two young teenage kids kissing wanting one chance to do right and save Elisa from those demons.
He couldn’t fight that disease that was in her mind, it already beat her. Words weren’t strong to tell them to leave her alone not even his fists. Scotty had to move on knowing that Elisa was much happier not in the afterlife, now knowing he had to take care of Lilly. In fact he wished Ed shot him so many times over instead of Lilly. She didn’t deserve to be force to sink into a depression knowing she was all alone.
The question remained was this his own interpretation of Lilly’s mind or was this his own. Somehow he was wrong knowing she wasn’t the type that could easily kill herself, what about him? He didn’t want to give up but there were times Scotty wanted to see that light but forced himself not to follow through. Family and his job meant a lot to him, but what did Lilly have?
All alone in her apartment without someone to come home to, or be loved. Scotty felt the same way seeing what Lilly felt inside, like her he wanted to be loved but found it in all the wrong people. They both were afraid to let anyone in destroying who they were inside. He had to fight that wanting that chance to change.
Getting back to Lilly she was beautiful with those blue eyes, a smile that could light up a whole room, but had brains and a way about her he adored. She had qualities that most men never really saw, Lilly was the most caring and understanding person he had ever met. Why she wasn’t married and having kids bothered him. Inspecting himself Scotty was posing that same question noticing his finger didn’t display a wedding ring.
Then he remembered how both him and Lilly had a chance to be married but something happened; Elisa with her illness and something between Christina and her ex-fiancé; which added to guilt of reminding her of what had happened a long time ago. Upon looking up he drove to the river and looked up at the sky feeling the tears streaming downward.
Words of Spanish flowed out wanting to see Elisa’s face one more time. He had to hear it needing to make sure she was alright. All he heard was dead silence seeing the stars shining from up above, by the time Scotty opened to the door to his apartment he felt terribly alone.
“This is what Lil probably feels like everyday “once again trying to see the world through her eyes. Perhaps growing up the way she did make her differently from other people. Now sitting down Scotty ached to be loved needing to wrap his arms around someone. He was a man with a lonely heart knowing his future seemed bleak, wanting a chance to get married and start a family of his own.
Next year he’d be thirty-five still alone knowing there was a world out there. Lilly too was probably feeling the same way as she lay in bed night after night not sleeping and alone like he was. Was it possible the two shared the same feelings but never realized this?
Now the phone rang it was Lilly her voice now flooding with massive tears sparking an alarm
tbc..
When Lilly mentioned Elisa’s name, he knew she was also sensing his emotions. In the beginning while they interviewed Rachel; Nancy’s daughter the look in Lilly’s eyes told him that she missed her mother. Losing a parent line bothered him knowing she had no parents left, growing up with an absentee father and a drunken mother wasn’t that great. Scotty felt terribly for Lilly especially seeing the sadness that had lingered around since her shooting.
There were times that she reminded him of a Zombie while her inner emotions wanted to come out. Both the shooting and her mother’s death were eating Lilly up inside, just like what he felt when Elisa had died. Scotty thought he was strong but inside he never really admitted to his internal feelings but tried to help others.
Sure he had gone through all the stages of grieving except the last one: Acceptance. Not even letting the note float away in the river wasn’t enough for Scotty to let go. He needed time but instead buried it all down inside just like his partner Lilly Rush had always done. The two were alike in a lot of ways, trying to keep everything down pretended like everything was normal but in retrospect it wasn’t.
Scotty blamed himself so much the it was important to him to bring Nancy Patterson the justice she deserved. In a sense gave him some closure like it did to Lilly. He then thought about her seeing how she changed after that car ride with John Smith. Lilly seemed much more alive but even showed off that beautiful smile when really she was hurting miserably inside.
He couldn’t help a person that was about to help themselves. Like him Lilly was afraid to open up knowing what people might thing of her, especially after all she had gone through. The chances of them getting together were slim after his stupid fling with Christina. Why was he so stupid for sleeping with someone that Lilly had warned against?
The answer was simple: Grief mixing with Loneliness. Scotty didn’t want to be alone but was so overwhelmed he landed up almost destroying their friendship. It was lucky that Lilly was even still talking to him or better yet trusted him. How she managed to do that was beyond him but Scotty proved his worthiness to her. Of all the stupid things Scotty knew he had to move on and change in order to live with himself.
As John Smith said” Everyone has something that keeps them tethered to this world”. For Scotty it was Lilly knowing everyday he had to protect a woman he cared about so much. Then it all came back to Elisa perhaps he was scared that the same thing would eventually happen to him. Losing his whole mind and jumping into large body of water.
Now walking upstairs he noticed Lilly again seeing a woman who had no one but herself. There was no family left, besides a certain sister that was on the run. Scotty put himself in her shoes seeing through her eyes for a split second. It felt lonely, sad, but saw hope everything he felt deep down inside. Sure he had family but knew Lilly had no one but the squad to turn to.
He was the only one she opened up if she wanted to. Feeling compelled Scotty tried to resist the urge to talk to her knowing how Lilly pushed people away. He did that also not wanting to feel weak and needy but now a deep fear raced down his spine” What if Lil tries to do what Elisa had done, and I can’t save her” he thought?
“Worse if I see her body lyin there” seeing an image of her just after she had been shot. Breathing again Scotty came closer to Lilly” Lil we need to talk”.
As usual she was busy wrapping herself up with the case but he gently touched her arm” We both had somethin rattlin us”. Her blue eyes looking into his as if she didn’t want to engage. Now this was his chance to tell Lilly what had been plaguing him like a disease” I’m afraid of losin you, doin what Elisa had done”.
Lilly shut the door as she turned toward him” I’m not her Scotty, Elisa was sick there was nothing you could have done to save her”. With an intake of breath he grew frustrated” Saved you but just don’t want to find you dead somewhere”.
He hit the jackpot seeing the look displayed on her face, as Scotty saw the tears aching to spill out of her sapphire eyes. Pretending everything was okay when it wasn’t was now eating at Lilly knowing she didn’t have anyone to turn to. Then as usual brushed sucked back the sadness before leaving, Scotty wanted to help afraid about her killing herself. At night he hoped there would never be a call stating that Lilly had been found dead. Each day Scotty breathed a lot easier seeing the blonde woman whom he still wanted to love.
Now heading over to his old neighborhoods, he saw down watching some kids playing stickball. Remembering how he cried in Elisa’s lap relishing a memory about the first time he had seen her. Looking up Scotty saw two young teenage kids kissing wanting one chance to do right and save Elisa from those demons.
He couldn’t fight that disease that was in her mind, it already beat her. Words weren’t strong to tell them to leave her alone not even his fists. Scotty had to move on knowing that Elisa was much happier not in the afterlife, now knowing he had to take care of Lilly. In fact he wished Ed shot him so many times over instead of Lilly. She didn’t deserve to be force to sink into a depression knowing she was all alone.
The question remained was this his own interpretation of Lilly’s mind or was this his own. Somehow he was wrong knowing she wasn’t the type that could easily kill herself, what about him? He didn’t want to give up but there were times Scotty wanted to see that light but forced himself not to follow through. Family and his job meant a lot to him, but what did Lilly have?
All alone in her apartment without someone to come home to, or be loved. Scotty felt the same way seeing what Lilly felt inside, like her he wanted to be loved but found it in all the wrong people. They both were afraid to let anyone in destroying who they were inside. He had to fight that wanting that chance to change.
Getting back to Lilly she was beautiful with those blue eyes, a smile that could light up a whole room, but had brains and a way about her he adored. She had qualities that most men never really saw, Lilly was the most caring and understanding person he had ever met. Why she wasn’t married and having kids bothered him. Inspecting himself Scotty was posing that same question noticing his finger didn’t display a wedding ring.
Then he remembered how both him and Lilly had a chance to be married but something happened; Elisa with her illness and something between Christina and her ex-fiancé; which added to guilt of reminding her of what had happened a long time ago. Upon looking up he drove to the river and looked up at the sky feeling the tears streaming downward.
Words of Spanish flowed out wanting to see Elisa’s face one more time. He had to hear it needing to make sure she was alright. All he heard was dead silence seeing the stars shining from up above, by the time Scotty opened to the door to his apartment he felt terribly alone.
“This is what Lil probably feels like everyday “once again trying to see the world through her eyes. Perhaps growing up the way she did make her differently from other people. Now sitting down Scotty ached to be loved needing to wrap his arms around someone. He was a man with a lonely heart knowing his future seemed bleak, wanting a chance to get married and start a family of his own.
Next year he’d be thirty-five still alone knowing there was a world out there. Lilly too was probably feeling the same way as she lay in bed night after night not sleeping and alone like he was. Was it possible the two shared the same feelings but never realized this?
Now the phone rang it was Lilly her voice now flooding with massive tears sparking an alarm
tbc..
