Eternal Sadness or Life

[longislanditalian2]

Takes place after the episode' Stalker'

Please review, your comments are very helpful to me

As Scotty waited outside he was torn up inside; scared and worried about Lilly whom he loved and cared about. After holding her in his arms before the paramedics arrived he knew just how special she was . He did in fact save her; but the killer had already shot her. Now glancing over at his co-workers;whom looked very sad and worried for Lilly; Scotty was worried that he would never get a chance to look into those blue eyes of hers and tell her that everything was going to be alright.

Inside of the operating room, Lilly lay there as the doctors worked feverishly trying to stop the bleeding and sew her up. With a whisper she managed to call out for her mother wanted her by herside; but knew she was already dead. Drifting in and out, Lilly breathed in more air from the oxygen tube in her nose just trying to stay alive. Somehow she saw flashes of herself lying in the room as Scotty continued to hold her close. Lilly knew she wasn’t alone; knowing that she always had him by herside.

Outside, Scotty was praying unable to withstand the emotion that had been building up inside. He wanted to go in there knowing that she needed him. Just standing there; Scotty remembered the daythat he first met Lilly just four years back. First time he every gazed into her blue eyes; remembering how beautiful she was. Now Scotty knew she was his girl forever; nobody could ever take the love he had for her away.

As AD Thomas tried to comfort him, Scotty pushed her away wanting only to be with his partner and friend Lillian Rush. Hours soon passed before Jefferies motioned for him to come over.Everyone took each other’s hand as they all bowed their hands praying for Lilly to pull through. Even for Stillman who was shot but was okay; felt the pain deeply. Lilly was like a daughter to him; loosing her would make him wanted to retire for good. He couldn’t bear walking back into the bullpen and never seen her face again; it was just that simple.

The pain now hurting Scotty’s heart, as if someone had taken it and smashed it towards the ground. It was getting too much to bear knowing his girl was lying in there after being shot. By all means, Scotty wished it was him not her. For awhile he sat there praying for her health just hoping she’d pull through alright.

His heart then started to beat fast as the a doctor in scrubs stood upon them; knowing what Lilly’s outcome was. Scotty looked up feeling the strength of Lillian Rush upon him as he stood up strongely ready to take the news.

‘ Ms. Rush is in recovery; she’s in shock still but I’m certain she’ll pull through’. Scotty breathed out again ‘ Can I see her’ he asked wanted to be by herside.
The doctor glanced downward’ I shouldn’t but you can see her for a minute’ as Scotty got look of approval from Stillman who still was in pain.

Walking down the hallway, Scotty felt extremely queasy from the smell still silently praying. As the door opened; Scotty walked into a lowlit room staring at the blonde that he loved so much. A heart monitor was attached her chest as a huge bandage covered were she had been shot just early on. Besides that and an oxygen tube in her nose; Scotty felt the tears rushing out of his face.

‘ Hey’ he whispered taking her hand ‘ I’m here Lil’ watching her chest rise and fall with every breath.

Tears then streamed down his face’ You gotta hang on Lil, I need you to’ seeing a nurse standing there.
Getting up, Scotty gently kissed her face before leaving the room. Outside he grabbed his knees before his body slumpted downward feeling helpless.

Just sitting there he knew he could no longer work as a detective anymore if in fact: Lilly had died. Without her Scotty didn’t have the strength to go on; she was his rock the one person who had just passion for solving these cases without her it didn’t make sense to stay.

[longislanditalian2]

By the next morning, Scotty stepped into the room seeing that Lilly’s eyes were now opened. Taking her hand, he let a smile grateful that she was alive.
‘ Hey’ he whispered moving a strand of hair away from her face; looking into a shade of blue.
‘ Scotty’ her voice sounding almost like a lost child as she took another deep breath from the oxygen tube in her nose. Sitting down on the other side he took her hand into his ‘ Glad to see you alive’. Lilly let out another breath keeping her focus on his eyes; seeing the warmth knowing he in fact loved her a lot.
‘ Everyone’s waiting outside praying for you Lil, you gotta hold on’ He said
Lilly felt more pain coming from the sewed up wound on her chest; knowing that Scotty had in fact saved her life. She knew she owed him a lot by taking a risk like this but he was her friend someone that she could always trust. Lying here was more of a reason why her inner most feelings were bubbling to the surface. Looking upwards; a doctor came into the room as he listened to her heartbeat. Scotty sat there hoping that the doctor heard wasn’t going to relay anymore bad news; he was ready to break like glass.

‘ How is she’ Scotty asked still silently praying
The doctor turned toward him’ Ms. Rush’s heart sounds very strong but her blood pressure is still low,she did loose a lot of blood . Right now she might need another blood transfusion to help stablize her’ .
‘ I'll donate some blood, I can’t risk loosing her’ Scotty replied still stroking her cheek lovingly. Getting up he then kissed her forehead’ Hey, I’ll be back Lil. Stay with me okay’ Before he exited the room, Lilly spoke up’ Hey’ signaling that she needed him.

‘ It’s going to be alright Lil’ he whispered as she squeezed his hand tightly. The doctor then briefly left the room to give the two some time to be with each other’ He got me’ her lips moved once more.
‘ He’s dead Lil, but you’re alive with me’ Scotty said
Lilly lay there staring straight ahead’ Mom’ wanting her comfort as well knowing that she was long gone too. Scotty then planted another kiss on her cheek’ I’ll be right back, I promise’ letting go of her hand. Sometime later he returned still feeling dizzy but was glad to see that Lilly was still alive. As the doctors connected the IV into her arm; Scotty hoped that she would be alright. He knew this was the right thing to do; especially knowing how much he adored her .

‘ Remember the first time we met Lil’ he started to speak when Lilly saw flashes in front of her eyes seeing the glass break feeling the bullet pierce her skin. The scene soon changed to when her mother was still alive the last words she ever spoke to her how she never told then one person who gave her life how much she loved her.

‘ Mom’ she called out quietly wanted to hold her mother’s hand.
Scotty knew she was grieving and being at work during a hostage situation wasn’t a good thing. He felt guilty of not staying with her , but that was how Lilly had wanted it. He wasn’t aware that in spirit Ellen Rush was standing there watching over her daughter seeing just how much he in fact loved her.

[irishkale]

I love your stuff. Li2. You put so much emotion in your writing, I think it's what separates you from other writers! Also your knowledge of details is amazing, you write as if you were there watching the scene!

[longislanditalian2]

Thank you for the nice comments BT

Anyways on with the next Chapter.......................


After Scotty had left , Lilly saw her mother standing there in spirit as she stepped forward taking her daughter’s hand. Although she couldn’t feel it; she somehow felt comforted by her mother’s presence.Looking upward, Lilly could see how transparent her mother was but could see her face clearly.

‘ It’s going to be okay Lilly’ Ellen whispered’ You're not ready join me yet’Lilly breathed in again’ I never got to say goodbye’ now sounding like a sad child more then an a women in her 30’s.
‘ It doesn’t matter now, you got everyone outside worrying about you’ Ellen sat there softly stroking her cheek’ Your partner does love you , I know he is right for you’.

‘ Mom stay’ Lilly whispered
‘ I can’t Lilly, but I love you’ Ellen said as she disappeared into thin air.

Now lying there all alone, Lilly began to feel the pain again needed a dose of morphine to dull it. She knew she had to stay alive knowing that her mother was right but also she couldn’t leave the five most important people who were her family. Looking over Scotty was now holding her hand as she squeezed his tightly.

‘ Hey’ she whispered

‘ You okay’ Scotty asked planting another kiss on her cheek knowing she was in a lot of pain. He was glad to see her alive knowing that he would be lost without his girl. Somehow he gained permission to stay overnight knowing that Lilly needed him the most right now. Now falling asleep beside her, Lilly reached out gently running her hand through his hair. She knew it was love but the pain of loosing her mother was much more greater then anything else in the world.

Lilly knew at the end that her mother truly loved and was proud of her. She wished that she could have stayed but maybe this was what she had wanted ; to die alone. Just two days later, she was doing much better and was sitting up.

‘ You hungry’ he asked
‘ No I’m fine, how’s the boss doing’
Scotty smiled’ Lucky to be alive like you are’

Lilly also gave a small smile but still felt dizzy as the doctor came in to take her blood pressure. Lifiting up her arm as she felt it tighten up before loosing again. Next he listened to her heart as Lilly continued to hold Scotty’s hand tightly knowing just how strong their friendship had become. They had some rough spots but still they felt a need to be together that was felt deep inside. The doctor then asked her to breathe as he contiuned to listen. As Lilly breathed in and out she knew that she was lucky to have survived; knowing that Scotty had indeeded saved her.

After the doctor was finished , Lilly lay back feeling much more dizzier then before.
‘ Your heart sounds very strong; but your blood pressure is still low. I was going to release you in a week but we have to get your pressure back up before I can do that’ the doctor said.
Lilly quietly nodded but didn’t say anything else’ You need to eat Ms. Rush to keep your strength up’

After he had left, Scotty sat there watching her heart monitor watching the numbers go up one digit and down another. He knew the doctor was right; also hearing her stomach growling was quite evident. Pouring some water into a cup, he then guided it to her mouth. Slowly accepting; Lilly sipped it feeling the coolness sliding down her dry throat.

‘ You want to get you something’ Scotty offered
‘ I’m not hungry’ Lilly replied still drinking the cup of water before lying back on the pillow.

He then got a paper towel and gently blotted her face but knew she was still traumatized by this whole thing. Scotty couldn’t blame her for not wanting to eat but her health depended on it. Glancing again at the heart monitor he noticed that her heart rate was climbing fast. Lilly breathed faster and fast as Scotty held her close’ Make them stop’ she cried seeing flashes of the man who shot her laughing mixing with George’s.

When it ended, two doctors stood there listening to her heart as Scotty waited outside. The door then opened as they proceeded to walk down the hallway. Heading back in there, Lilly lay there silently sleeping. Scotty then took her hand’ I’m here Lil’ he whispered kissing her cheek. Somehow he couldn’t fall asleep knowing that she needed him; it was just that simple.

The morning after; Lilly awoke feeling much better then before. Everyday she felt a little stronger but found that there was a reason to live. Although she could sense that her mother was watching over her; Lilly knew deep down she was glad to be alive. Right in her lap was a dozen red roses ;picking the card up she smiled’ Hey’ it read knowing who it was from. The flowers smelled so fragrant and alive; which did in fact dull some of the pain. Looking around Scotty stood there before planting a kiss on her cheek.

‘ Coffee’ she said
Scotty chuckled’ How could I forget, now how about you eat something’Lilly shook her head’ I want to go for a walk, I feel imprisoned in this bed’
‘ Doctor doesn’t want you up and about until your pressure is back up’

‘ Yeah yeah, now help me’ as she tried but felt a wave of dizziness sweep over her.
Lying back, Lilly let out a sigh’ Great’ feeling the pain again. Scotty sat down closer to her’It’s not forever Lil, but food might help you to stop the dizziness; unless you want the feeding tube down your throat’.

Lilly gulped not wanting anything being stuck down her throat’ Fine, just something light’


Coming back Scotty handed her a bagel as she bit into it slowly. Not long after; Lilly had practically devoured it not leaving a single crumb behind. She was hungry but knew he was right; there was no use in arguing about it. Now with something in her stomach; Lilly wanted more then anything to go home and lie in her own comfy bed. By midafter soon ; Scotty opened the window in her hospital room as a warm breeze blew gently into the room. Breathing it in; Lilly felt alive again but still was mourning over her mother.

She wanted that one chance to say goodbye, but would never get to. Another tear fell as Lilly sat there missing her mother knowing that she truly loved her. Maybe everything wasn’t as it seemed; Lilly knew that behind the drunken women there was the mother that just earlier in the week reminsed about the book she used to read to her. What haunted her was her mother’s last words: Bye Baby.

Lilly then stopped breathing; was her mother saying her final last goodbye to her? Another tear fell knowing that she didn’t respond to that.Scotty then gently wiped off the tears as he looked into her blue eyes with such love and concern before kissing her forehead.

Sometime later Scotty remember something important ‘ Boss needs me down at the station, you okay’ he asked

‘ Yeah,just hope I can come back to work soon’
Scotty turned around’ You need some time to recover Lil, we’ve postphoned your mom’s funeral until you’ve been released’.

Lilly then took his hand as he smiled at her’ You know I love you’
A smile formed on her lips as she let him go ‘ Go get them Scotty’ teasing him like her mother had said to her not so long ago. Now lying back, Lilly felt different knowing that someone really loved her. For awhile she stared at the roses that were now in a vase; feeling a little better seeing them. But now feeling blood trickling out of her bandages Lilly began to panic.

[priscilla]

Great story. Can't wait to read more.

[ruda]

good story, nice long chapters

can't wait for update

[longislanditalian2]

The doctors soon rushed in as they attended to her wound; first cleaning the area which made Lilly moan loudly due to the stinging. After redressing it, she felt a needle pierce into her skin as the surge of painkillers flowed into her veins. Now lying back, Lilly waited it to take effect wanting the pain to go away. Four hours soon passed as she lay there looking out the window feeling the warm breeze sweep in.

Feeling a little bit better now; Lilly knew this wasn’t going to last especially now with a noisy roommate who never stopped yelling.Groaning softly, Lilly wished that she didn’t come to work that day but she couldn’t change what had happened. The important thing was that, she was alive and was going to live but her mother was dead; forever gone. She wanted to take back the moment back at her house; and stay with her. Shedding a couple of tears; Lilly felt all alone knowing that the only parent who loved her was now in heaven.

Scotty then took her hand as his warm eyes looked into a sea of blue’ Hey’
Giving her signature smile’ Hey’ Lilly replied knowing that he loved her
‘ How you feeling today’ he whispered handing her a sandwhich
‘ A little better’ she groaned beginning to eat. Just then her roommate screamed loudly startling the two detectives; Lilly rolled her eyes still feeling tired from last night’s lack of sleep.

‘ What’s up with her’ he asked
‘ Who cares, all I want is to go home’ replied Lilly as she devoured the sandwhich in one sitting
Scotty chucked’ Glad to see you eating’ gently touching her shoulder.
Lilly nodded’ The dizziness stopped and I don’t need someone sticking a tube down my throat’

A moment of silence passed before Lilly spoke up’ Open an new cases yet’Scotty smiled knowing that she was so passionate about her work, he sometimes wondered if she did anything besides work. After seeing how relaxed she was back at the hotel in Tennesse, Scotty knew that there was another side to Lillian Rush but wondered if he would ever get a chance to see it.

‘ We just opened one from 1942 no leads yet’ he said looking into her thoughts.
Lilly shook her head also thinking that’ Bring me some info, let me look it over’‘ Not yet Lil, Boss has given you a month off to recooperate’She sat there slightly pouting’ You need me there Scotty it’s the truth’


Scotty softly stroked her cheek’ I know Lil, but your health right now is important’ before leaning over to plant a kiss. Moving closer his lips then fell upon here as Lilly closed her eyes as their hands soon clasped together resting near her heart. It was just a simple kiss as their lips broke apart’ Better now ‘ he asked

‘ Yeah’ still tasting the kiss on her lips. Glancing over at the monitor, Scotty grinned’ Your heart rate shot up Lil’.
‘ Well what do expect you kissed me’ she replied as the doctor came in distrupting their moment together. As usual; Lilly sat still as her blood pressure was being taken as a million thoughts zoomed through her mind all weren’ t leading anywhere.

Just one in perticular about her mother how they interacted shortly before her death. How motherly she was instread of the drunken hungover women Lilly had grown up with. See her sober and loving, Lilly wanted to tell her that she was proud of her knowing that was the one thing her mother wanted to hear.

Her thoughts were now interrupted by the doctor’s voice’ Ms. Rush we’re going to take you down for an x-ray just to make sure everythings alright’.
Now being loading onto a wheeling cart, Lilly gripped Scotty’s hand tightly’ It’s okay Lil, I’ll be right here when you get back’ he said kissing her cheek as the doctors wheeled her away. Now standing there he hoped there was no more bad news; as Scotty sat there waiting for her return.



Now in the x-ray room, Lilly lay there with a heavy material draped over her body. She remained still as a rock wondering what her body looked like on the inside; more importantly how cracked her own heart was. Knowing that this was only an x-ray, the pictures would only be displaying her bones not her internal organs. Closing her eyes, Lilly counted back silently hoping that this would be soon over.



By the time, Lilly reopened them again she was back in her hospital room.
‘ Hey Sleepyhead’ Scotty said pouring a cup of water for her
‘I must of drifted off’ she murmered slowly sipping the water.
‘ Doctor said the x-rays didn’t find anything’


Lilly let out a small smile’ I won’t want to know what they would find in Vera’s body’ ‘ Probably a wrapping of a tastycake’ causing the two of them to laugh before Lilly moaned in pain.

‘ What’s wrong’ he said
‘ Nothing it comes and goes’ breathing in softly
Scotty sighed’ When are you allowed to go for a walk’
Lilly lay back against the pillow’ I don’t know but you might as well chain me to the bed. You don’t know how uncomfortable this feels’


‘ Maybe tommorow they will’ Scotty replied kissing her cheek as Lilly lay back.
‘ Scotty’
Yeah’
‘ Hey’ she replied giving him a small smile
‘ Hey’ he said ‘ Night Lil’.


By the next morning, Lilly was sitting on the edge of the bed. The monitors were now gone as she smiled at him. Taking his hand, she steadied herself feeling a little bit wobbly but was glad to be up. Putting on her robe, Lilly slowly walked out into the hallway. She could feel herself coming alive again, but could still see glimpses of that day whirling around in her mind.

Suddenly a vision of romeo pointing a gun at her face ; followed by George laughing ‘ Well isn’t this pretty, Lillian Rush survives another fate with death. Too bad her mommy couldn’t save her yet again’.


‘ Leave me alone’ Lilly yelled ‘ Leave me alone, I’m not like you’‘ Yes you are Lilly, we are alike’ George’s voice taunted her.

Lilly then heard herself say’ I’ll never be like you’ before hearing several shots one included herself slumping down the wall after being shot by Romeo. Even two years after his death the spirit of George was still hovering over her; his eery voice chattering away in her head.

Scotty’s touch brought her back to reality’ It’s okay Lil, ‘ He said holding her tightly’ Want to go back’
Lilly shook her head’ No, let’s walk’ trying to be the strong person she was always.

[longislanditalian2]

With every step, Lilly knew she was on the path to recovery. Now walking back to her room, Lilly headed into the bathroom to freshen up while Scotty waited. After splashing some cool water onto her face, Lilly studied her reflection in the mirror up closely. Her blue eyes sparkled again the pale porcelain skin that was now dripping with water. Glancing downward, Lilly saw the heavy bandages on her chest before seeing flashes of that day. The last thing she remembered was Scotty holding her close; feeling safe in his arms for just that one minute.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad letting someone love her. After all Lilly had spent too many years pushing people away from her; especially the people whom she was close to. Keeping that thought deep in her mind, Lilly continued to wash her face before tying her hair up, since the weather was hot. Coming out she smiled at Scotty before walking over to the window looking outside. Feeling a hand touching hers, Lilly turned around as her stomach let out a small growl.


Sometime after lunch, her doctor walked into the room.
‘When can I go home’ Lilly asked
The doctor reviewed her chart’ everything seems to be healing well, I’d say tomorrow morning’ as he then began to take her pulse. Lilly looked over at her partner giving him a small smile. She was glad that he was by her side through all of this; the truth was that she couldn’t do this alone.


‘Your vital signs look good, you need to rest. I’m advising you to take a month off from work so your body can heal correctly’.
Lilly let out a sigh wanting to return to work, but knew that the doctor was right. She knew that she wasn’t strong enough as of yet.

Scotty then took her hand’ it’s not going to be so bad’.
‘This sucks Scotty; I’m going to be bored out of my mind’.
He laughed softly ‘I’ll stay with you for awhile’ Scotty was serious’ I just don’t want anything else happening to you Lil’.


Lilly nodded feeling a little bit better; the truth was after all of this she didn’t want to be alone. Not after losing her mother and getting shot. Scotty then sat there gently rubbing her back; knowing that she was being comforted. Looking upward, Stillman stood there holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand before placing them on the bed.

‘How you feeling Lil’ he asked
‘Better, how about you’ Lilly replied
Stillman still felt the pain’ Fine, just wanted to make sure you were alright. Everyone misses you there; Vera tells me the office isn’t the same without you’. Lilly then touched his hand’ Thanks Boss’.

Stillman then glanced over seeing how much Scotty loved and cared for her; it was evident.
‘See you later Lil, Scotty’ he said walking out the door.

Scotty grinned as he put the flowers into the same vase’ You’re a lucky girl Lil, everyone loves you’The look on Lilly’s face was sad’ I know you miss your mother’
‘The last thing she said to me was; Bye Baby. She never called me that before’
Scotty softly stroked her cheek’ She loved you Lil, despite her problems’Lilly then felt his lips on hers before he got up’ See you Tomorrow okay’ he whispered
‘Hey’

She looked up at him’ Love you ‘Scotty said
Lilly smiled feeling a rush of warmth running through her body. That night she barely slept as her noisy roommate kept her up. Groaning softly, Lilly then got up heading out of the room. Walking along she felt at easy but a nurse soon rushed her back to the room. Getting back into bed, her roommate was still yelling at the nurses.

By morning, Lilly was able to get dressed. She sat there waiting for the doctors to release her knowing it would be a long time. Scotty came in wearing a pair of jeans and white t-shirt which was quite different from his usual attire.


‘Just roll out of bed’ she asked
‘No, I took off work ‘
Lilly looked stunned’ You didn’t have to do that’
Scotty kissed her cheek’ I just wanted to make sure you got home alright’


Sitting there Lilly needed some caffeine’ could use a little coffee’
‘We’ll stop on the way home, okay’She smiled letting out a yawn before the doctor came into the room. As usual he checked her vital signs and the bandages and instructed what not to do and how to change it. Handing her a form, Lilly then signed it ‘You’re free to leave Ms.Rush’.


‘Thanks’ Lilly replied sliding into a wheelchair as Scotty placed the flowers in her lap. As the front doors opened the warm sunshine instantly greeted her. Lilly got up feeling alive, but something was telling her that the feeling of pain wasn’t quite over. Getting into his car, she was ready to go home. As promised Scotty stopped for coffee before handing her some.

By the time they had arrived back at her place, Lilly’s eyes instantly diverted to the couch just hoping that her mother would be there. Just a pillow was laying there serving as faint reminder; feeling sad again Lilly walked upstairs to take a shower. Making sure the water didn’t hit her bandages, Lilly showered as usual before flashback of that day hit.

Lilly could see her own body slump downward as her own crimson blood spurted out. She couldn’t breathe feeling death’s wings on her shoulder. Gasping suddenly Lilly found herself alone in her own shower before shutting off the water.

By the time she was dressed, Lilly had the same flashback over and over again. It got so intense that Scotty caught her before her body hit the floor. When she came to, she looked at him puzzled.

‘I can’t feel myself breathing’ she said
Scotty continued to hold her on her good side’ I can feel you breathing’Lilly took in a breath as another vision of blood coming out of herself’ there’s blood’He look down’ There’s no blood Lil, your sewed up’

‘I’m dying’ She whispered as Scotty placed his two of his fingers on her neck. He could very strong beats knowing that Lilly wasn’t dying as she claimed’ Your heart is racing Lil, Feel’ bringing her fingers up to her neck. Lilly the kept there also feeling it too’ What’s happening to me Scotty’?

[priscilla]

Nice updates. Can't wait to read more.

[ruda]

yum yum
I'm waiting for more ;D

[longislanditalian2]

Lilly held his warm lips on her cheek knowing that she was safe with him. Taking several long deep breaths, she was able to slow her rapid heartbeat down. Belong long; Scotty could feel a steady beat from underneath his fingertips. He gently kissed her neck knowing that feeling each beat was a good thing. Still Scotty wondered if he in fact shot her; a wave of guilt that wrapped around him like a tight blanket.

A million thoughts zoomed inside of him; all were of that day. With each thought Scotty began to slowly breakdown inside not wanting to upset Lilly. Getting up; he noticed that she was sound asleep. Leaning downward, he listened to her breathe seeing her chest slowly rise and fall. Scotty then kissed her lips before covering her with a blanket.

Little did he know that Lilly wasn’t having such good dreams? Inside Lilly had found herself in a white hallway as she preceded hearing nothing but the sound of her own footsteps. She couldn’t figure out why she was here or what this represented. Walking along, she saw a bright light at the end. Lilly knew she couldn’t walk any further; knowing that her life was not over yet. Turning back around, Lilly opened another door and saw her getting shot over and over again.

The scene then changed to the night her jaw had gotten broken; Lilly screamed loudly before everything went black. Finding herself back in the white hallway, Lilly saw a tiny window as she looked in and saw a glimpse into her childhood. Seeing her mother reading; The Velveteen Rabbit to her. Listening carefully, Lilly began to feel safe again. As those memories disappear; Lilly saw a little girl now sitting there all alone.

She wondered who the little girl was; did it represent her as a child or something else. Lilly knew she had never been pregnant or it eliminated that theory. Just watching her, she knew it had to her inner yearning to become a mother. Then a flash of lighten appeared as she felt someone hurting her over and over again. Screaming loudly, but heard Scotty’s voice in the distance.

‘It’s okay, Lil I’m here’ Scotty said holding her closer
Lilly gasped as she opened her eyes’ My Jaw’ she whispered breathlessly.
He then gently stroked her face’ Your fine, nobody’s going to hurt you’ Scotty whispered.

Leaning against his chest, Lilly heard the sound of his heartbeat instantly feeling comforted by that sound. Focusing on her breathing she lay there feeling protected and safe in his arms; ignoring the pain that was radiating from the other side. By morning, Lilly was still sleeping as Scotty got up for work. He couldn’t help but smile seeing how beautiful she was.

Scotty then kissed her cheek knowing his heart belonged with hers. After leaving he then headed down to the station; Stillman was back at work but the place wasn’t the same without his favorite blonde by his side. Just DA Thomas walked in with hair red as fire; Scotty groaned not wanting to see her face. She gently touched his shoulder as he shrugged it off giving her a look.

'Just wanted to comfort you’ Alex says
Scotty walked away’ Well don’t, I don’t need your comforting’ he said walking into the break room looking over at the blue cup with yellow inside feeling sad that Lilly wasn’t here beside him. Passing by the interview room, he peered inside as flashes of his girl lying there bleeding appeared over and over again in his mind.

Slamming his fists down, Scotty needed the answer seeing more flashes from that dreadful day. He couldn’t face looking into her blue eyes knowing that he had nearly killed her. With one step, Scotty left headquarter knowing he needed sometime alone. He needed to work things out in his mind, but the flashes of that day seeing Lilly in shock was much more terrifying.

Now sitting down on a bench, Scotty sat there thinking about the whole situation over and over again. Meanwhile, Lilly lay awake in bed petting Olivia who lay beside her. She felt lucky to be alive but wondered about her dream last night. Shaking her head, she convinced herself it was nothing instead began to wonder what the current case was about. Lilly needed to focus her attention on something else but remembered that she was off until next month. Groaning softly, Lilly felt bored and alone.

Getting up, Lilly moaned in pain but it was so intense that she lay back feeling hungrier than before. After text messaging Scotty, which he smiled when he saw her message; Hey but still couldn’t face her.
Several hours later, Kat stopped by looking up at the blonde who seemed very bored.
‘Brought you some lunch, something wrong’ she asked
Lilly sat up’ Where’s Scotty’?

Kat shook her head’ I don’t know haven’t seen him all day, how you feeling Lil’
‘Fine the pain comes and goes’.
‘You seem better’ Kat gave a small smile before leaving her apartment. Lilly began to eat wondering about her partner knowing that he seemed so different after the shooting but had no idea that he was sitting alone at a park feeling extremely lost. By nighttime, Scotty returned to Lilly’s house seeing her sleeping soundly.

‘I’m sorry Lil; I never meant to hurt you. I love you’ Scotty whispered.
‘It’s my fault you were shot’ he said kissing her cheek

[ruda]

good chapter
I'm waiting for more

[longislanditalian2]

After he had said those words, Lilly opened her eyes as she held his hand closer to her. Scotty couldn’t help but feel guilty for what he had done. Inside tears were forming knowing that he had come close to killing her . That thought made Scotty feel horrible , he gently moved a piece of hair away from her face now peering into two blue orbs.

‘ I’m sorry Lil’ he whispered beginning to break down and cry before resting his head by herside. Lilly ran her hands through his hair’ You didn’t shoot me Scotty, Ed did’ she whispered. Looking up Scotty saw just how beautiful she was’ I know I did’ he replied’ Lilly breathed out again’ It was my fault, I triggered him to shoot me’.
Scotty leaned closer pulling Lilly onto his chest as she began to cry’ I screwed up ‘
‘ No you didn’t, but all it matter’s now that you are alive’.

Holding her closer she lay there listening to his heartbeat, hearing it beat softly in her ear. Lilly calmed down as she drifted into a deep sleep. This time she saw the little girl standing there looking straight at her through the glass. Walking into another room, Lilly froze in terror upon seeing herself moments after being shot as George stood there laughing like a manic.

Screaming loudly, Lilly tried to run but nothing was happening. Outside of her dream, Scotty knew she was having nightmares knowing that the whole shooting thing had traumatized her. Kissing her forehead, he gently her back hoping to calm her down. Lilly then screamed as she bolted up breathing in heavily.


‘ It’s okay Lil’ Scotty whispered as he held her close. Lilly began to cry into his shoulder as she continued to act this way for a long period of time. By morning however, she awoke to the smell of coffee as Scotty handed her some.

‘ You better today’ he asked
Lilly sipped it letting the rush of caffeine run through her body, she needed it after last night. By the time they had gotten down to the hospital where her doctor wanted to examine her, Scotty held her hand knowing that Lilly needed him. Now sitting in the examining room, Lilly remained still as the doctor performed a regular checkup.

Now removing the bandages, Lilly squeezed Scotty’s hand keeping her focus away from the area. As the doctor examined it she winced moaning out in pain. After redressing the bandages, he motioned for Scotty to leave the room as they talked outside while Lilly got redressed.

‘ How is she’ Scotty asked
The doctor looked at him ‘ I’m a little concerned about her, I’m recommeding she be on bedrest for another month’.
Scotty let out a sigh knowing that Lilly wasn’t going to be happy about this. Right he was as Lilly groaned not wanting to spend another month confind to her own bed. Now at home, she lay there trying to deal with this rationally.

‘ This sucks Scotty, I can’t stay here all day’ she said
Scotty gently touched her shoulder’ I know, but you are recovering. It’s not forever.Lilly bit her lip as she tried to move over knowing that she wanted to sleep on her other side but couldn’t’ You know Vera’s out sick also’.


‘ What he ate too many tastycakes again’
Scotty couldn’t help but laugh’ No, the shooting has effected everyone. Boss hasn’t returned to work yet. Jefferies won’t step foot in that room. It’s been pretty quiet but everyone misses you Lil’.

Letting out a yawn she began to fall asleep as Scotty pulled the covers closer to her. He listened to her breathing feeling better that he didn’t shoot her but had a bad feeling about something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. As Lilly slept soundly, Scotty lay down on the other side before falling asleep too.

As for Lilly she was having another bad dream, that she was constantly running through the woods as both Ed and George chased her as Lilly fell to the floor.
‘ HEY’ using the special word hoping that Scotty would save her’ HEY’ before blood poured out of her body. ‘ NO'

Scotty awoke seeing how restless Lilly was ‘ I’m here Lil’ he whispered stroking her cheek.
She began to cough as tears streamed down, but felt the cold washcloth on her face. From what Scotty knew it was going to be a long road ahead before a full recovery .

[longislanditalian2]

During the next few days, Lilly began to feel better but the pain was still there. Sometimes at night Scotty would hold her until the pain dissipated. Hearing her crying out loud his heart began to break even more, he couldn’t stand to see the girl he loved in immerse pain. Tonight was different; the two lay there listening to the heavy thunder that rattled the windows as heavy rain poured down from the darkened sky.

Lilly lay there, looking away every time lightening flickered; due to the visions of seeing her being shot over and over again. Another quick flash before a loud bang of thunder sent chills running down her spine. Scotty came closer resting his head by her shoulder but not on it knowing that was her bad side.

Gently kissing her cheek he continued to hold her hand in his’ you’ve been quiet lately’
She nodded’ I hate rain’
Scotty kissed her again’ me too, it reminds me of that day when I almost lost you forever’

Another couple of flashes of light were seen as Lilly breathed out softly before drifting into a deep sleep. Lilly kept appearing in the same place but was sitting down on the white floor. Everything around her was white; was this sign that she was going to die soon? Then it went dark as the voice of Ed was heard.

‘You’re going to die’ he said pointing a gun at her face
Lilly knew she needed to stay alive, but saw his body dissolve. Now finding she standing again, the room turned several faces as one very evil voice was heard.
‘Well isn’t it Lillian Rush, now shot I see’ George said moving forward’ don’t try to run Lilly’ as the scene changed as Lilly found herself deep in the woods.

‘LILLY’ a voice shouted but sounded painful, listening carefully Lilly realized that the voice was coming from her partner the man she loved more than anyone else in the world. Looking downward, Scotty lay there bleeding as a dark shadow grabbed him. Lilly watched as he drew his final breaths, before his body flooded with crimson blood.

Fear quickly set in as the scene changed. She then found herself inside of an operating room. Looking over she saw herself lying there after being shot. The Lilly on the table stared at her with big eyes before Lilly looked up and gasped.

Now sitting up, Lilly awoke finding herself in her own bed with Scotty lying next to her. Breathing in hard, he held her the best way he could. Her heart was beating fast but Lilly knew she was safe with him; but still the dream was taunting her.
‘I’m going to die’ she whispered.

Scotty looked into her eyes’ You’re not Lil’ as he kissed her’ I love you you’re the only person I want to be with forever’. Lilly smiled as he leaned downward capturing her lips a few times. Just feeling his on hers made her heart beat faster, making all the pain seem to disappear. Maybe it this time, it was the real thing. After breaking their kiss, Lilly felt calmer.

‘Still think you are going to die’ he asked
Lilly closed her eyes’ Forget about it Scotty’ trying to fall back asleep but after he turned off the light she spoke again’ Hey’
‘What’s up?’
‘Love you’ she whispered. Scotty kissed her’ I love you too’


Just four days after this, Lilly stopped having those dreams about being in the white place; but still wondered what the little girl represented. Now her dreams were a lot calmer, which aided with her healing. Still Scotty was beginning to get scared, he too was now having those dreams but only he was holding Lilly in his arms as she bled to death. Every morning he’d wake up, listening to Lilly breathing softly next to him; he knew it was just a dream.

After showering he came back as she awoke’ Going to work’
‘It ain’t the same without you there’ he said
Lilly sighed’ I miss work’
Scotty kissed her’ Go back to sleep, your need to get stronger. Call me if you need me’

By the time he had gotten to work, the case was already heating up. Scotty felt lost without his girl at his side; it was like something was quite off. He needed Lil there; she had a knack for getting down to the bottom of things quickly. Now glancing at his phone his face instantly warmed.
‘Hey’ as Lilly’s voice was now heard.
‘You need me ‘he asked
Lilly was now sitting up in bed, sighing’ Just bored, how’s the case going’
‘I need you here, I’m lost’Lilly let out a small laugh’

Sure you do’
Scotty then saw the suspect from down the street’ I got to go, love you’ as the line went dead. She lay back for the first time feeling much happier. But the pain started to radiate again, and she didn’t have another prescription for anymore pain killers. Moaning softly, Lilly text messaged him needing him fast.

Sure enough he responded and stopped over there’ You call the doctor’ ‘No, I’m bleeding’ as she panicked.

He gently applied pressure’ I’m calling for an ambulance’ seeing how heavy the blood flow was. When the paramedics arrived, Lilly’s blood pressure had dropped again. Scotty continued to hold her hand as he rode with her in the ambulance. The ride there was intense as more blood began to flow out, still he prayed silently for her.

By the time that they had gotten to the hospital, Scotty squeezed her hand’ Stay with me Lil, I love you’ as she was being wheeled behind two double doors. Inside Lilly screamed in pain, as flashes of white lights appeared from up above. Breathing deeply she drifted off, as her heart monitor continued to beat.

It had been several hours now, Scotty was at the breaking point. He didn’t know what to do with himself, if Lilly had died. Pacing around he couldn’t take it anymore, his heart ached even further knowing that the girl he loved was in deep pain.
Just then a doctor came up to him as Scotty looked at him’ is Lil alright’‘Right now Ms. Rush is near death’.

‘Can I see her’ Scotty asked as the doctor let him through.

Gently taking her hand, Scotty began to cry hard’ I love you so much Lil ’Watching her heart monitor he knew she was alive; but as the tears flowed out like a river he prayed hard not wanting her to die.

[ruda]

another awesome chapter!

maybe you'll come to the ColdCaseFic Board, huh? link is in my signature

I'm waiting for update, this fic is really interesting

[longislanditalian2]

During the next few days, Lilly lay there stranded between life or death. Scotty continued to hold her hand refusing to leave herside; he didn’t want the woman he loved to slip away forever.Everyday he prayed for her, wanting another chance to be able to look into those blue eyes of hers again. Now going without sleep or any food, Scotty watched as Lilly’s chest rose and fell softly with each breath.

She had an oxygen tube coming out of her nose ; good sign that she was able to breathe on her own. Glancing upward; Scotty could see even now, just how beautiful Lilly was. He had always noticed this even the day they first met, leaning over his lips gently kissed her cheek. Now sitting there, Scotty hoped that this wasn’t the end.

Now sitting there he prayed for her life, not wanting her to die. Hours went by all he could do was sit there watching Lilly’s chest rise and fall with each breath. Looking upward, Lilly’s eyes began to flicker open. Scotty gently sqeezed her hand letting her know that he was there.

‘Hey’ he whispered as Lilly finally opened her eyes
‘ Am I dead’ she asked in a tiny voice.
Scotty’s smile instantly warmed’ No you’re here with me, forever’

Lilly breathed in again pulling his hand closer to her heart as they looked into each other’s eyes. Just then a doctor walked in as he began to take her pulse. By the time he had completed taking her vital signs, Scotty looked up hoping for some good news.

‘ Your vital signs look good Ms.Rush’ he said before leaving. Scotty smiled at his girl as he gently kissed her lips. Just feeling this made Lilly feel a little better but the pain was still very evident. Since she wasn’t in a coma, or stuck in ICU; she felt lucky to be alive especially with someone she loved by herside.




This is all I have for now, will finish this chapter tommorrow

[ruda]

good chapter
and I hope you'll finish your older fanfics like "Stuck in elevator" etc... They're really great, but not over yet
and some of them are NOT working... dunno why you deleted them from fanfiction.net

[longislanditalian2]

The rest of this chapter.....

‘ See you tommorrow’ he whispered as Lilly breathed out but didn’t let go of his hand
Scotty kissed her again’ Love you’ seeing a small smile crept onto her face.


After he had left, Lilly’s inner most thoughts had come back. Flashes of opening the door to the interrogation room of her telling Ed that there was a room behind that. Why was she so stupid enough to say that. Lilly mentally kicked herself knowing that she alone had put herself in grave danger. This was all her fault lying here now with a heavy bandage and stitches galore.

Lilly knew she should not have gone into work ; just the day after her mother had died. Remembering how Scotty was after Elissa’s death she knew how broken up he was inside. For her, she was torn inside between loving and hating her mother. On one aspect; Lilly knew her mother had given her life but on the flipside she also was the reason her jaw was broken at the age of ten.

Knowing that she couldn’t turn the page and go back, Lilly knew she needed to face to present and future. Breathing out again, Lilly closed her eyes and drifted back into another deep sleep.

In her dream the white place; Lilly passed by a nursery filled with the sound of babies crying. Walking along she saw herself kissing Scotty on a beach as she wore a white gown; before two little girls and a boy joined them. Lilly wondered if this was going to be her future; seeing how happy she playing with her kids.
The scene then changed to her body slumped over in one of the room. Blood was pouring out of her; she could hear Scotty screaming for the paramedics . Lilly watched him hold her close see how much his heart was breaking before a foggy air dissovoled them both. Looking up; she saw him standing outside of the operating room looking broken and lost.

Following him; Lilly could hear him crying knowing that he truly love her before she faded away. Hearing the sound of a heart monitor beeping loudly her eyes opened as blood began to pour out. She was watching herself but where was she ; this wasn’t in the operating room. Her other side self the touched her hand as Lilly shot up in bed breathing heavily.

Looking around; Lilly found herself back in her hospital bed as she looked over at the dozen red roses that Scotty had brought to her earlier. She wondered if this dream was supposed to be her future; Lilly hoped it was true. For now was glad that Scotty was her friend; she needed one at a time like this. Just lying there seemed endless until the morning came.

Just a week after the dream had occurred, Lilly was released since the doctors felt it was best for her to recover at home. Still she was drifting into a deep depression; but didn’t want anyone to know. Scotty could sense it; trying his best but could see tears forming in Lilly’s eyes constantly.

‘ It’s going to be okay’ Scotty said holding her
Lilly shook her head’ No It isn’t, I told Ed there was another room’
‘ You had to save her life’
‘ I failed Scotty, there and the day my mom died. I knew she was going to die but wasn’t there’.

Scotty kissed her’ You can’t blame yourself Lil, maybe your mom didn’t want you to be there after putting you through a lot as a kid’.
Lilly began to cry feeling his hands gently rubbing her back’ I love you, you mean so much to me’

She held on crying into his shoulder still seeing images of herself lying there bleeding before hearing Geroge’s evil voice again. Trying to ingnore it knowing he was long dead, Lilly breathed out harder feeling safe in Scotty’s arms.


TBC....

[ruda]

good one

[longislanditalian2]

With her head resting against his right shoulder, Lilly felt safe and secure as Scotty’s arms wrapped tightly around her. His lip then kissed the top of her head a few times, Lilly was glad that she wasn’t alone. Scotty knew that she was sinking lower into her depression, he knew how this felt all too well. Lying back in bed, Lilly still was sitting up seeing flashes of her get shot over and over again. She was still blaming herself for telling Ed to shoot her, why did she even open her mouth?

More warm tears streamed down her face as Lilly then got off the bed and sat down in a corner; before pulling her knees up to her face. She didn’t deserve to be loved by anyone including Scotty, in her own mind Lilly was a failure and a freak. Just sitting there complete silence made the tears stream down even more. Lilly didn’t want to live; she knew that when she slipped those words out to Ed just seconds before Scotty shot him dead that it was real.


By the next morning, Scotty awoke not seeing Lilly lying next to him. Getting up he saw a blonde figure in a corner next to her nightstand.
‘Lil’ he whispered softly lifting her head up to see massive tears practically covering her whole face
‘Leave me alone’ Lilly’s voice was so low but Scotty wasn’t about to give up on her. He knew she was very depressed and if not being traumatized wasn’t enough for her to deal with on her own. Taking her hand he then pulled her up into his arms, before leading Lilly downstairs and into his car. Scotty then started to drive but couldn’t help seeing the tears that were flowing down.

Putting his hand into hers, Lilly held onto his but kept on staring straight ahead. By the time the car pulled into a parking lot and stopped, Scotty got out and opened the other side. Gently pulling her out, the two walked as they stood there hearing the waves crashing at the shore. Lilly breathed in the warm ocean air, but still it didn’t make up for what she was feeling inside.

The two then sat down on a blanket as Scotty continued to hold her close. He wanted Lilly to relax and recover; making it a good reason to escape from the usual daily grinds of the city.
‘You feeling alright’ he asked
Lilly breathed out again’ yeah, it just hurts that’s all’ feeling the pain surging. Inside she took a couple more breaths hoping the pain would just go away; while still silently beating her up for putting her own life in danger, more tears streamed down her cheek. Scotty wiped it away but more continued to fall out from a sea of blue.

By nightfall, the two went for a walk on the shore. As the water in between their bare feet, Lilly was beginning to feel almost alive again. She knew this was love, but was scared of being rejected again. Scotty then pulled her into an embrace as Lilly continued to stare seeing flashes of Ed pointing his gun at her.

Another flash sparked, George was there chanting over and over again. Lilly gasped but felt Scotty’s hands gently rubbing her back.

‘I love you ‘he said ‘There’s no one I’d rather be with but you’
Lilly nodded ‘I’d like to go home ‘
Scotty couldn’t blame her, after all he knew when it came to love she always had gotten her heart broken. He too had gotten involved too quickly when he lost Elisa and the result almost cost him; his friendship with Lilly. Maybe they were much better off as friends for right now, Lilly needed a friend more than a lover right now.

After arriving back at her place, Lilly sat on her couch staring blankly. The next morning however, Scotty saw no difference in her at all. She didn’t move just sat there motionless, even a kiss didn’t seem to be doing anything.

‘Lil, talk to me’ putting a hand on her shoulder
‘I just want to be alone’ was her reply
Scotty sighed’ you can’t be alone Lil, you need me’ Lilly shook her head’ Go to work, I’ll be fine’ as they held hands for a second. He knew he couldn’t leave but knew respected her feelings. Scotty leaned forward and kissed her, looking into a sea of blue. Lilly then looked down breathing in softly. After he had left she continued to sit there feeling dizzier by the hour.

Looking around her, Lilly then pulled her knees up closer feeling scared inside. She couldn’t shake off the events from that day. What was worse is that she now had to deal with all the pain associated with being shot. Everyday Lilly got a chance at life again, realizing that she might just have another chance at love; with Scotty.

At headquarters, Scotty sat at his desk reviewing a case. He couldn’t concentrate seeing flashes of Lilly laying on the floor bleeding. He too felt guilty for not stepping in sooner; if he had his girl wouldn’t have been shot.

Glancing at his phone it read the word HEY: their secret code. Getting up he headed over to her house, and immediately raced upstairs what he found was Lilly lying on the bathroom floor motionless. Feeling for a pulse, there was a strong one. Scotty then heard her take a breath in as he held her hand in his.

‘Hey’ she whispered coughing silently.
‘You okay’ asked concerned
Lilly nodded as he picked her up placing her in bed. More dizziness had begun to set in, a side effect of going days without eating. She was told by the doctors to eat, but with everything going on inside she couldn’t stomach anything.

‘When I lost Elisa, I couldn’t think, sleep or eat. I was lost Lil’. She nodded pulled his hand closer to her chest’ At least you didn’t land up like me’

Scotty sighed’ I wanted to die, to be with her but something was telling me to hold on. You got to do that too’
‘For what, I’m never going to get married, what’s worse I’ll never have a family of my own’ as tears started to stream down Lilly’s cheek. She yearned to become a mother, but now it just wasn’t going to happen.
‘We’ve got each other Lil’

After he had spoken, quietness set into the room. By the time eight pm rolled around Lilly saw that Scotty was still holding her close.
‘Aren’t you going to first Thursdays?’
‘That’s tomorrow Lil, not if you’re not’

Lilly let out a small smile’ I’m sure Vera would be missing you’


Scotty kissed her lips as not knowing that her mother was standing next to her bedside. Only Lilly could see her but wondered who the little girl was standing beside her. She knew it had to be a dream, since the little girl was only in her dreams not in reality.