What if

[longislanditalian2]

What if at the end of Sandhogs, Lilly finds out something that will change her whole life forever.


As Lilly walked home from Jones Tavern where the gang was drinking, she started to feel a knot in her stomach tightening fast. Her head was spinning as her heart thrashed around in her chest almost ready to explode any second. She was caught like a wild animal between two men who really loved and cared for her. Closing her front door, Lilly began to feel dizzy as she raced upstairs to the bathroom to throw up. As she finished, her stomach felt empty as her body slid down the wall with tears flowing out of her eyes.

Lilly had been feeling like this for days for never to this point. Was it nerves or something else she wondered? After ransacking her bathroom, and pulling out a pregnancy test from underneath the sink. She closed the door and waited for the results. Another wave of dizziness over came her as the timer went off in the other room. Walking much more slower then usual, tears started to flow from Lilly’s blue eyes as she knew from this moment on her life would not be the same.

Taking a damp washcloth and gently blotting her face, she gazed up into the mirror studying her reflection closely. Many emotions crossed through her mind in seconds, one hand fell onto her still thin belly. Would she make a good mother or a bad one like her own, most importantly what would Joseph think about it, Lilly wondered as she put up her hair? Trying to calm herself down was hard enough, without too many thoughts crossing each other paths.

Letting herself slide down a wall in her bedroom, she broke down and started to cry. This wasn’t like her but Lilly felt helpless. Tears streamed down her pale face as she buried her head in her knees. After regaining some sense of control, she picked up the phone and dialed his number. Joseph was in the middle of finishing the reports to take to court tomorrow when his phone rang. Already knowing who it was on the other end, he picked it up.

“I need to see you” he heard her hang up
Joseph hung up as he grabbed his jacket and headed out to her apartment. As he arrived, Lilly let him in; her eyes were red from crying.

“What’s wrong Lil” he asked
She looked down, knowing what might happen
Joseph gently lifted up her face as more tears fell from her eyes

“I’m pregnant” she whispered before looking once more at the ground as more tears fell off her face.

Lilly was more scared then ever before as Joseph pulled her into an embrace. He gently rubbed her back as he kissed her. They were both equally as nervous about their future as tears streamed down. For awhile they stood in her living room holding on to each other before their foreheads touched each other.

“I’m not leaving you Lil, not when you mean so much to me”. He whispered
Lilly kissed him softly as Joseph kissed her forehead before heading out the door, pausing to look at her.

“I’ll catch up with you tomorrow before I head over to the courts” he said
She nodded giving him another kiss as the door slowly closed. Lilly understood why he left so soon, they were both nervous about their impending future growing inside of her.

[longislanditalian2]

Please comment , I need to know if this is good so far


By 9am, Lilly was walking the streets down to the station as Joseph caught up to her.
As she told him that she was due in July, his lips turned into a smile as their lips met. Continuing their walk, the two were holding hands as they approached the station. Lilly turned and kissed him deeply before heading back inside to open up another case. Throughout the day, more thoughts flooded her mind all making no sense at all. Time seemed to go by very quickly as the clock ticked 6pm on the dot. Lilly then said her good-byes and headed outside to where Joseph was standing.

After grabbing some dinner the two headed back to her house where they stood there looking into each other eyes before heading inside. Moments later, Joseph’s arms were around Lilly’s belly as he held her closer on the couch. She was sound asleep as he gently brushed her hair out of her face, watching her chest rise and fall with every breath. Making sure not to wake her up, he carried her upstairs and into bed.

With her eyes still closed Lilly whispered softly “Stay with me”.


Joseph held her close as he too drifted off to sleep. In the middle of the night, there was a bad thunderstorm that was extremely loud. Opening up his eyes, he saw Lilly staring at him as she held his hand closer to her chest.

“Can’t sleep” Joseph whispered


Lilly nodded as she lay against his shoulder, staring up at the ceiling wondering about their baby that was inside of her. Her back was hurting as his hand drifted there and began to massage her muscles. As Joseph continued to rub her back, Lilly drifted into a very deep sleep. He then kissed her before allowing himself to fall back asleep.

[longislanditalian2]

As the morning approached the two were grateful to sleep later then usual because it was Saturday. Around 9am, the sun peeked through the curtains as Joseph and Lilly both awoke looking in each other’s eyes.

He leaned over and kissed her as her hand drifted downwards to her belly, letting it rest there two months later as they waited for the doctor to perform the sonogram. The door opened as Lilly was instructed to lie back, as the doctor waved a wand over her abdomen an image appeared on the screen. Both Lilly and Joseph looked at each other with wonder and awe as the screen showed their baby’s heart beating in color. Tears fell from her eyes while watching and hearing the sounds of their unborn child. Afterwards, he then gently wiped off the gel before she rolled down her shirt.

The two were silent as they made their way outside. Both were still stunned of what they had just seen in there, especially for Lilly who kept silent. Snow began to silently fall as Joseph stood there facing her. Moving closer his lips capturing hers as a cold wind swept by them, but neither didn’t mind they were in love.

Back at her house, the two sat there in front of the fireplace taking in each other’s comfort. Lilly kept looking at the picture of their unborn baby, smiling to herself. Joseph was holding her close as he planted kisses along her neck. knowing tomorrow was the city’s annual Christmas ball.

[longislanditalian2]

“Lil, hurry up we are going to be late” Joseph yelled from downstairs.

Lilly sighed and walked downstairs wearing a thin strapped dress “What’s your problem”?

He smiled while capturing her lips before they headed out the door. It didn’t take that long to head downtown, as the snow fell lightly onto the streets. For years now, Lilly had made up all kinds of excuses not to go, but this year was different. Vera looked up from the bar as he saw her walk in with Joseph. There was something different about her that he couldn’t put his finger on. As the music started to play, Scotty watched as his partner dancing happily in love. Lilly felt a sense of happiness deep down inside of her that hadn’t been felt for a long time, she wished that this moment would last forever.

Breaking apart the two headed back to their table as the night carried on with more fun. Scotty was glad to see her happy for a change, especially how her eyes lit up every time that she was kissed.

[jambled]

Is good so far! Would like more with her collegues though. But the Joseph/Lil interaction is very sweet

[longislanditalian2]

The next day as Lilly entered the building, she immediatly felt a wave of nausea as she ran straight towards the bathroom. After finishing, she blotted her face and glaced at her reflection before walking into homicide.


Vera watched curiously as Lilly put down her bag by her desk and headed towards the breakroom.

" Every morning she heads there and comes out with a milkshake" he whispered

Scotty dropped a file on his desk" Yeah why"

" Ten bucks says that she's pregnant with what's his face" Vera whispered

" Mornin" Lilly annocuced as she carried her milkshake towards her desk.

Now Kat was joining both Vera and Scotty as the blonde then got up and headed towards Stillman's office.


" Boss" she whispered as Stillman looked up, Closing the door behind her Lilly sat down trying to make the words come out right.

" I'm Pregnant" as the words came from her mouth to his ear.

Stillman's face lit up with happiness as they discussed her plans before and after her baby was born. Next came tell the boys the little secret that she had kept from them for nearly two months.
The look on Vera's face was priceless although he look liked he just downed the last doughnut. Everyone congratulated her as Scotty offered to walk with her to Joseph's work after hours so she wouldn't have to walk in the dark. Surprising enough, Lilly nodded and gave a small smile.


Around 7pm, they headed out as the snow began to fall.

" I'm really happy for you Lil" Scotty said

" Thanks"

Lilly then did something very unlike her, she reached out and hugged him. He wasn't expecting this at all but it wasn't out of love but out a good friendship. He watched as she stood back and headed over to the otherside where Joseph was waiting.

[longislanditalian2]

It was exactly two days until Christmas when Philadelphia had an unexpected snowstorm that covered every inch of the city in a thick white blanket. If life couldn’t get any worse, there also a power outage which also trapped residents in their homes; Lilly was one of them.

Her house was freezing as; Lilly was almost three months along and bored as her eyes peeled out the window. Turning back around, Joseph had just finished lighting the fireplace as he arms wrapped around her waist. As the two sat down on the couch, she snuggled against him while watching the fire. Maybe they did belong together, unlike so many others he did understand and didn’t question her. Her life was so much happier now with their growing child inside of her.

Christmas day came without no sign of the snow starting to slow it’s pace, Lilly received a small diamond necklace the one she’d always stop to admire on the way to work. As Joseph clasped it around her neck, tears of joy filled her eyes.

[Lee]

this is great. i hope you continue

[longislanditalian2]

By New Year's Eve the snow had started to stop , it was an hour to midnight when Lilly felt him whisper something into her ear.

"Come with me" he said trying to pull her up off the bed


Lilly laughed " Why"

" It's a surprise" he whispered.


As they put on their coats and gloves, Joseph then intructed her to close her eyes. The door opened bringing in a rush of icy air into the house. Glancing down at his watch it was extactly one minute to go. Seconds started to fall then at midnight, the two kissed as the snow fell lightly. Suddenly as Lilly opened her eyes the power came back on, bringing a small smile to her face. Several minutes later, they lay in bed watching each other before Lilly's eyes drifted closed.

By the next morning, Joseph heard her downstairs in the kitchen. After the last time she cooked , he knew he was going to smell something burning in a minutes notice. To his surpise, the pancakes weren't burnt this time as Lilly smiled to herself.

" Hey Beautiful" he said kissing her

Lilly gave him a plate as she went to sit down at the table

" I'd figured that our child isn't going to live off of the food at 7-Eleven"

Joseph laughed as he began to eat " It's good Lil"

From that point one every other weekend was like that, as the month of January started to fly by fast. One morning while walking to work , Lilly seemed much more quieter then usual.



Joseph then looked directly at her face as her hands went straight to her belly

" You alright"

Lilly smiled" Feel this" as she placed his hand on her belly

From underneath his hand he felt a little flutter, as he smiled back at her as they shared a kiss . Out from the corner of her eye, Scotty was standing there waiting for her at the door.
Giving Joseph another quick kiss, she turned around and headed straight for the building.

Back in the box room, Scotty kept glancing over at her

" I like seeing you happy" he said

Lilly smiled knowing that the next couple of months weren't going to be that easy for her.

[longislanditalian2]

Lilly was happy but scared of becoming a mother after being a witness to how bad her own mom was her.

Turning the lock as her front door opened, Lilly was glad to be alone for now that is. Changing out of her work clothes and into a pair of sweats, she sat on the couch in front of the fireplace thinking. Five minutes later, Joseph arrived home with dinner as the two ate in silence. Although he managed to make her laugh, before long the pizza was long gone as he massaged her back.

Lilly felt the baby kick softly as she placed his hand on her belly. Joseph felt a couple of tiny flutters from underneath his hand, as they shared a moment together. She then lay back as he held her while still stroking her belly; both were happy that the little miracle inside of her was okay.

“Stay with me” she whispered taking his hand into hers
Joseph kissed her “I’m not going anywhere Lil”.

With that he carried her upstairs and placed her down on the bed, pulling the blankets closer to her. He then got into the bed and he the continued to hold her planting kisses on her neck.

Lilly rolled over as Joseph whispered “Will you marry me”.

Her heart nearly stopped when he asked her the questing, was it because of their baby or was out of a real love? The answer was in his eyes as they only showed his love for her; nodding with a smile he slid a diamond ring down her finger.


“I love you since we first met, and can’t imagine life without you” he said looking into her blue eyes.

Tears then streamed down her face as she kissed him back, before the baby started to kick harder.

Joseph lifted up her shirt as he kept a hand there, still smiling at Lilly.

“I think she’s happy “she whispered
He raised his eyebrows” She”
“I have a feeling” she smiled
Joseph then leaned down and kissed her “I’ll love our child forever like I love you”.

As Lilly fell happily asleep, he lay there watch her sleep wondering about their future together.

[longislanditalian2]

By the next morning, the two headed to the doctors for a sonogram. While sitting in an examination room, Lilly was extremely nervous as she gripped onto his hand. The door opened as the doctor instructed her to lie down, waving a wand over her belly an image shot onto the screen.

“Do you want to know the sex of your child “he asked?
Joseph looked at Lilly who both nodded
“You are having a girl” he announced before their baby’s heartbeat was heart this time loud and clear.

Tears then sprang from her eyes as he kissed her, before the screen went blank. As the doctor left the room, he handed her several pictures.

As Lilly pulled her shirt down she turned to him” A girl” she said smiling. He smiled back “I’ll bet she’s going to have your eyes “.
The two were beamed with happiness as they headed outside towards the station, that’s before tragedy struck.

[longislanditalian2]

Exactly five minutes after they kissed each other good-bye, Joseph was shot several times. As Lilly was reopening a case, Scotty came rushing into the room “ Lil, it’s the hospital Joseph’s been shot”.

Dropping all of her stuff, she raced downtown as lots of tubes stuck out of his arm. He was alive but weak.

“ Lil” he managed to whisper

Lilly pulled up a chair as tears streamed down her face, she held his hand closer to her chest. Joseph could feel her heart beating faster as her warm tears fell upon his hand. He didn’t want to die, to leave her all alone with their child. The pain was so intense but the room was quiet well until the sound of Lilly crying softly was heard. Joseph was now lying motionless as the monitors showed him that he was still alive. Four hours later, Scotty opened to door to see her sitting in a chair with one hand on her belly then other holding Joseph’s hand.

[longislanditalian2]

Lilly then heard the machines go silent as she saw Joseph take his last breath. Tears sprang from her eyes as she laid her head on his chest as his heart stopped beating. She cried even harder as Scotty stood by her. He then touched her shoulder; Lilly then turned around and held onto him. Moments passed before Joseph’s body was taken down to the morgue. With nothing else to do, Scotty offered to drive her home surprisingly she agree.

While in the car, Lilly looked out the window as her hand rested on her belly. Tears were still streaming down her face as he reached out to touch her hair.

“You alright to be alone” he asked already knowing the answer

Lilly looked down “No”.

“Want me to stay with you” he offered

She nodded as she unlocked the door letting him into her house, Lilly immediately headed for the couch where she sat down. Scotty sat down beside her as he watched her hand slide into his, before long Lilly was sound asleep on his shoulder.

[longislanditalian2]

Lilly then heard the machines go silent as she saw Joseph take his last breath. Tears sprang from her eyes as she laid her head on his chest as his heart stopped beating. She cried even harder as Scotty stood by her. He then touched her shoulder; Lilly then turned around and held onto him. Moments passed before Joseph’s body was taken down to the morgue. With nothing else to do, Scotty offered to drive her home surprisingly she agree.

While in the car, Lilly looked out the window as her hand rested on her belly. Tears were still streaming down her face as he reached out to touch her hair.

“You alright to be alone” he asked already knowing the answer

Lilly looked down “No”.

“Want me to stay with you” he offered

She nodded as she unlocked the door letting him into her house, Lilly immediately headed for the couch where she sat down. Scotty sat down beside her as he watched her hand slide into his, before long Lilly was sound asleep on his shoulder.

Deep in her dream, she had found herself standing in front of a basketball court. Joseph was shooting a ball into the net as he turned and saw her. Lilly tried to walk on closer to him but found that there was glass wall separating the two. Placing his hand on the wall, she did the same as they gazed into each other’s eyes. His lips moved but there was no sound to it, suddenly he vanished leaving her alone as the scenery altered into barren desert. Scotty was awoken by the sound of his partner’s voice calling out her dead fiancée’s name. Tears were streaming down her face as she tossed around in bed, then suddenly the dream ended as her breathing became slow once more.

By morning, Lilly had awoken to find Scotty holding her close. She knew she felt safe with him; he always had protected her from harm. Tears sprang from her eyes as she realized that she would never get another chance to be held and kissed by Joseph. The only thing connected back to him was their child growing inside of her. Glancing at the calendar it was exactly two days until Valentine’s Day. Lilly once again felt a sense of loneliness deep inside of her was rebuilding.

Tonight was Joseph’s wake but she wasn’t ready to see her love lying there motionless. Scotty watched as she sat down on a rocking chair in the nursery for hours, with one hand on her belly. Clearly her heart was broken, but one thing remained her engagement ring was still planted on her finger. Her blonde hair had hung down, as tiny tears rolled from her eyes. It was the first time that Scotty ever saw Lilly this way; after all she always looked so fragile and delicate like a flower.


“It’s not your fault what happened “he said

Lilly wiped the tears away “I should have been there, he would have been still alive”.
“How could you Lil, sometimes things just happen” Scotty said taking her hand into his

She nodded knowing he had felt the same way two years back, as she felt her baby kick hard inside. Remaining quiet, Scotty knew that Lilly wanted to be left alone. Walking downstairs he sat down on the couch, back upstairs ass Lilly sat there thinking about the happy times with Joseph. He had make her life happy and given her a sense of hope and security.

The next day arrived as the snow came falling down, as Lilly dressed in all black held onto Scotty’s arm. He let her go as she walked up to his casket, taking Joseph’s cold hand into hers another tear dropped from her face. Lilly stood there for more than a few minutes wordlessly praying before placing her lips onto his. As the priest began to converse, she stood there eyes shut with both of her hands on her tummy. Once the casket began to lower into the ground, Lilly opened her eyes and looked up at the sky silently vowing to bring Joseph’s killer to justice.


After the funeral, the two went back to Scotty's apartment where Lilly sat down on the couch staring blankless. Her mind was filled with many thoughts, but she couldn't be alone not here and not like this. There was a new life right now kicking inside of her, that needed her love. As Scotty tried to comfort her, to his surprise Lilly didn't push him away. She needed someone to be there for her ..



TBC

[longislanditalian2]

One month later as Lilly was finishing some paper work; she put down the pen and rubbed her eyes. Too many sleepless nights and knowing this wasn’t good for her child, she slowly got up and put on her coat. Vera groaned as Lilly headed out the door, he wasn’t thrilled of being on the late desk alone. The walk home in the dark was lonely, as her feet mashed through the snow to her house.

There were no lights on, and no one to hold and kiss her inside. Lilly felt her child kick reminding her that she wasn’t alone, walking upstairs she let the water run in the bathtub as it filled up. Stepping in she closed her eyes and breathed in deep letting her body finally relax itself. The water was hot as it warm up Lilly’s bare skin, as she began to meditate; something that she had learned to do to keep her emotions from fleeing.

A little while later, Lilly was totally relaxed still sucking in the cool air and letting it rush throughout her body before slowly exhaling it. It not only stopped her heart from racing but calmed her unborn baby who before was kicking like crazy. Breathing in deep, her mind was clear as Lilly focused on the sound of her heartbeat. As she concentrated the sound was heard as it beat softly, sending her back to the place where she felt safe and secure.

Lilly felt the warm sand on her feet, the smell of the breeze and the water crashing at the shoreline; from up ahead she saw Joseph standing there barefooted. Walking closer the two found them unable to touch each other’s hand. She wanted badly to kiss and let his arms around her just one more time. He stood there whispering something that was once again inaudible. As Joseph disappeared, the sound of the phone ringing was heard.

Snapping open her eyes, Lilly picked up the phone and heard someone very unexpected , her mother hurrying up out of the bath, she managed to throw on some clothes as a knock at the door was heard. Ellen Rush stood there putting out a cigarette, her breath smelling faintly of a mix of gin and vodka.

“I heard that you were pregnant” she said smiling
Lilly wasn’t thrilled to see her “Why are you here”
Ellen stepped into her house, still glancing at her daughter “Don’t see a man around her, is this a result of another failed relationship”.

“My fiancée died a month ago” she said
Ellen then brought up yet another painful childhood memory as a yelling match started but only to end as Lilly slammed her front door in her mother’s face. As Ellen left, Lilly cried softly while stroking her belly “I promise never to hurt you like she hurt me” she whispered.


She needed Joseph now to hold her and tell her that everything would be alright. Her heart needed to be loved again, he was the one who got her to smile again and give her a sense of hope. That was now in the past, now it was up to her to instill the same thing for her child. Back at the station, Scotty had found a clue to Joseph’s killer, written in a pool of blood.

[longislanditalian2]

Two months passed as Joseph's killer sent more taunting messages to the station, Lilly was seven months along and cranky. It had been just two weeks since she and Scotty had been going out. They always cared for each other but it became clear that their hearts wanted each other. Scotty would stay over everyother weekend just to make sure that Lilly was alright. One morning however everything changed, as Scotty overheard two men talking about a man that they had shot four months ago. His anger fired up but was reduced remembering his promise to Lilly.

As his ears listened , their voices then switched to another conversation. By nightfall, Scotty was still watching the men before they disappeared.

His cell rang it was Stillman on the other line " Get Lil to somewhere safe, I've tracked the men they are coming towards her house".

Panic then ceased in as Scotty raced down to her house, just as Lilly saw him pull up.

" Scotty, what's wrong"

Taking her hand " We have no time, just come with me".

Across the street the killers watched as the two detectives drove away, as their car followed them.

[longislanditalian2]

As the car smacked into Scotty's car, the two were able to escape. Scotty knew he had to protect Lilly at all costs. The night was dark and cold as the two started to run fast, Lilly soon grew tired as her baby moved around inside of her. From up ahead the two heard gunshots, Scotty took another path to avoid the men. There was no way that they were going kill her without killing him first. A few blocks over, Lilly had realized that the men were threatening Joseph over something two days before his death. It had nothing to do with his job but a favor he did for a friend. Joseph never told her about it but he would get taunting calls into the middle of night that scared her.


Another round of shots and Scotty was gone, leaving Lilly alone in the woods.

[longislanditalian2]

Lilly then started to blank out slowly, feeling her body become weightless she sank to the floor.

The next thing she heard was the sound of a familiar voice calling out her name, as Lilly opened up her eyes she saw Joseph sitting in front of her. Confused her then realized that she was lying on a hospital bed, but for what reason? Another question came to mind was this a dream or was Joseph really alive?


“No your dead” she whispered as she tried to make her body sit up

Joseph laughed softly “What makes you think that “he said still holding her hand

Lilly looked at him confused as she lay back feeling her baby softly stirring inside of her “ Why am I here”?