One Crystalline Night

[jambled]

One Crystalline Night

It’s completely L/R. What can I say, I adore McMan. Could be some spoilers.
Playlist: Let It Die by Feist :: My Number by Tegan & the one who's name we shall not say :: Bodies by Faker
Not mine, never will be (unless my plans for world domination end up working out). No lucre being made. Order the words are in is mine. So’s Ray’s tattoo!

There was a chill in the air outside; it reached deep into Lil’s bones and made her wrap her arms around herself. She loved Philadelphia in the winter, but usually when she was in bed, warm with her cats curled around her, looking out into the crystalline night. Instead, she was trying to clear her head before going back inside to more files, more possibly hopeless searching to try and find out what had happened to the dead blonde girl all those years ago.
“Hey.” Lilly jumped as a voice came out of the dark, the single word falling heavy into the barely lit night. She peered into shadows, blue eyes narrowing, trying to make out a figure that would accompany the stirringly familiar voice. He started moving forward from the street, accommodating. In a few steps he was up the kerb and near her.
“Ray.” Lilly tried not to lean away from him as he leant closer, invading her space.
“So you’re still here. How’s that partner of yours? Hitting it yet?” Ray couldn’t resist the cheap dig. Last time he’d been here, he’d picked up on a vibe between Lilly and the slick city cop. Lilly allowed herself a small smile, a shake of her head.
“You arrive out of the gutter, figures your mind wouldn’t have caught up.” She wrapped her arms closer around herself. She’d planned on being out here only a few minutes; getting away from the stifling office where she, Vera and Scotty had been sitting for the last two hours, sorting through a box of interviews, crime scene photos and witness lists. Instead, the quiet and cold outside had been a sort of elixir, and she’d lingered longer than she’d wanted. There was a silence between them after Lilly’s words, and she broke it first.
“What are you doing back here?” She was surprised to see him; every time he rode off on the motorbike, she’d half-heartedly assume it was the last time she’d see him. Once, she’d thought he’d never ride away. She’d pinned a nineteen year olds hopes on a wedding ring and a few kids, a job on an interstate police force, someone to come home to every night. Instead, she’d been accepted to Philly academy, near her old stomping ground but a lifetime away, and he’d decided to stay where he was.
He shrugged, always the laid back one. His eyes, luminous green, captured hers. “Harleys can’t keep you warm at night.” Lil wrapped her arms tighter around herself and looked at the ground. She hated that he could do this to her. She knew if she relented, as she’d been half tempted to do every time he’d come back into a life with the proposition that they become a couple again, he’d come between her and her work, and she’d resent him for it. Inevitably, there would be another break up scene, more tears, and he’d reappear at distant intervals in her life, as if they hadn’t tried already and written it off as a bad idea.
“We’ve tried it once, Ray.”
“We were kids. We had no money, no thoughts of anything other than getting the hell away from our lives. And now, here we are. You’re catching killers, and I started a chain of Harley workshops. Our dream jobs, Lil. We’ve come full circle.” Ray’s words overlapped with hers, and she had to admit that he made a good argument. Then again, it was getting late and she was running on a lack of sleep. At this point, he might tell her he wanted to whip her away to Vegas for a shotgun wedding before settling them back in her old neighbourhood and she might agree, just so she didn’t have to think about it.
“Ray…” Lilly paused, saying only his name, wondering what she had as a comeback. Last time, he’d made it easier for her. Last time, he’d told her to blow off work, come with him. She’d have thought he’d have known that her work was her life and his sudden, short lived appearance wouldn’t make her just drop it.
“I know you’re at work. I get that now.” As if reading her mind, he looked up towards the mostly dark PPD. Lights shone from the office, the balcony cutting off most of it before it landed at their feet. Lilly followed Ray’s eyes, looking up. She should get back up before someone came down looking for her; saw Ray, jumped to the wrong conclusions. Jumped to any conclusions.
“I think I’ve done enough for now. Let me grab my bag.” Making a decision, Lilly walked backwards a few steps until she saw Ray nod. She knew he’d just wait otherwise, either here or at her house. And she knew her mind would be flitting between what she wanted to say to him and what she needed to hear from him so that any case notes she looked through would need to be rechecked tomorrow.

[jambled]

Walking inside, Lilly stabbed the button for the lift and waited, knowing he’d be watching her. She didn’t know what it was that kept them connected to each other. There was the connection of their childhoods; the similar stories of drunken parental units, not enough food, walking the fine line between a respectable life and the lure of the illegal. They’d found each other as she was casting around for something to get her out of where she was, what she was becoming. He’d owned a Harley, had offered a kind of quiet thrill and an escape route that she had been gutsy enough to grab. They’d ridden through several states, not staying anywhere very long, fuelled on dreams, cigarettes, booze, caffeine. Finally, she’d decided she wanted more than he was willing to give her and he’d decided he wasn’t going to follow her to find out exactly what her dreams of him held. Over the years, she’d decided against living interstate, had figured out that engagement rings were only formalities that promised neither love nor fidelity but only sparkled indefinitely, and had started to think that maybe some kind of mutual affection would be enough for her. Stepping into the lift, Lilly knew part of her problem. Mutual affection was safe; mutual affection could be given and taken freely without fear of a broken heart. But Ray… She’d loved Ray, and every time she saw him she felt the same tiny pull of something more than mutual affection, something that spoke of their history, before they’d decided on different things.

“Thought you’d frozen out there.” Scotty greeted her as she came back in. Lilly shook her head absentmindedly, started gathering her things together. She slipped the file she’d been reading back into the box, and swept everything else off her desk into the top drawer. Usually she liked to have everything tidied before she went home but tonight was different.
“Going home?” Vera asked, his tone bordering on surprise. Lilly knew his reasoning; usually she was the last to leave, and his question was one she’d be asking them.
“Yeah. I don’t think I can concentrate on anything else tonight.” As if on cue, they heard Ray’s motorcycle start in the street. Scotty immediately jumped to the right conclusions about what that sound signalled and raised an eyebrow at Lil. She sighed, gritted her teeth internally, avoided his eyes. Oblivious to the silent exchange, Vera had cocked his head, listening.
“Sounds like a Harley,” he said. Scotty nodded.
“That’s a Harley, all right.”
“Goodnight, guys.” Lil gave Vera a cursory glance before turning her back on them as she walked out. She could feel Scotty staring after her, knew there would be subtle hints tomorrow, alluding to questions he had no right to ask.
“I guess you still know the way.” Lilly said as she took the proffered helmet and climbed onto the back, wrapping her arms around him. He nodded and with a touch of the throttle, they were off into the black night.


So... what did you think? Love it... Hate it... Not a fan of Ray at all?

[TVFan]

This was very good jambled. I don't necessarily want Lilly to end up with Ray, but I think that you captured why she can't seem to get him out of her life. She still holds a torch for this guy -- good or bad. I think you did a nice job painting the complexities of their history together. Actually, your story makes me a little more sympathetic to the storyline and a little more understanding toward Lilly's actions.

[jambled]

He took his bag from the Harley and strolled behind her as she climbed the steps and unlocked the door. There’d been no conversation about it, no question that he was going to stay the night. In a way, Lil was relieved. She hadn’t wanted to give him a strong positive but at the same time she hadn’t wanted to turn him down.
“See you’ve still got the girls.” Ray tossed his bag on the floor near the couch and bent to greet Olivia and Tripod. Lilly stifled a yawn as the cats strolled around Ray, recognising him, coming closer to concede to an ear scratch.
“Mm.” Lilly stretched her arms over her head, feeling the kinks stretching out of her neck, hearing her back crack deliciously back into place. Ray stood, turned to her, motioned for her to come closer. She didn’t move and he stepped over to her, reached his arms around to gently rub her back, dissolving some of the tension. Lil relaxed into his half embrace. He wasn’t like Kite, where every move she made had been interpreted, every action like this would have been a small victory for him. Ray had met her as an equal, before she’d been broken down too far, and he’d never tried to win her submission the way Kite had.
“You should go for a shower. Keep the muscles heated.” Ray stopped rubbing and Lilly felt a small moan escape her. It had felt so good; a man’s hands on her, doing something for her, not expecting anything in return. Lilly took off her jacket and started walking through to her bedroom. She was inexplicably tired. She knew if she’d stayed at work, if there hadn’t been the interruption that was now following her through to her bedroom, she might have been able to stay and work for another few hours. But a break in concentration and she was ready for sleep.
“Trust me, I’m as tired as you are. I drove half a day to get here. I just want a comfy bed; and I know your mattress is one of those posture ones.” At Lilly’s look, Ray spoke. He was already throwing his jacket onto the window seat, making room so he could sit down and take off his socks. Lilly nodded, shrugged. She’d assumed as much, but had wanted him to say it. Gathering her pjs, Lil left Ray with the cats and turned the hot water up. Showered, pyjama clad and teeth minty fresh, Lilly came in to find Ray almost asleep, one cat on his lap, the other curled haphazardly over his crossed ankles. He yawned, stretched, sat up with both bundles of fluff protesting at his moves. Lil drank a glass of water while standing at the sink while she waited for the cats to eat the tinned mix she’d put out. By the time they were finished and she was crawling into bed, Ray emerged from the shower. She’d almost forgotten how good he looked with his hair wet. He wore a pair of black silk boxers, and she saw a tattoo on his arm that she hadn’t seen before.
“New?” She asked as he came closer. He flexed the bicep, looked down at it. Lilly turned to him as he got into bed, made him pause as she ran her fingers over it. A perfect, single lily was inked over his left shoulder, high enough to be covered by short sleeves. Lilly smiled, looked into his eyes, receiving the confirmation. No, it wasn’t an accident that her name and the flower were one and the same.
“Guess it’s lucky I’m not called something that doesn’t have a correlating floral object, hm?” Lilly waited until he was settled and turned off the light. She snuggled down into the blankets, her back tucked into its familiar position, spooned against him. His arm nestled around her, drawing her closer and Lilly stared into the dark as the cats readjusted themselves, not used to a male presence in the bed since last time Ray was here and, before that, Kite. Their shared body heat warmed the bed far quicker than if she was lying here with only the girls. Blinking into the dark, letting her eyes drift close, Lilly asked herself if she was ready to get used to this.

The alarm made her sit bolt upright, hurling her out of a dream that had involved dark haired men with no faces, and the woods. Next to her, Ray sleepily opened one eye, reached an arm out to rest on her thigh.
“Too early.” He said. Lil shook her head, looked at the time. She wanted to finish up what she’d been doing last night before the others came in. Easing herself out of bed, letting Ray’s hand fall to the warm indentation in the bed where she’d been, Lilly started opening and closing drawers, looking for an outfit. She hadn’t had a chance to do the laundry for a while; she’d worked through last weekend, and the one before that, and she was running out of clothes. The problem with living in such a cold place was that you had to wear more clothes to keep warm. She was down to her second last pantsuit; after this, it was a skirt and tights, something she wanted to avoid wearing. She didn’t like being too butch, but she wasn’t going to play up the girl aspect.
Lilly stumbled through to the shower, leaving the door ajar so the room didn’t steam up too much. She didn’t want to have to do much to her hair, and steam made it harder to smooth. Clad in her underwear, she walked into the bedroom to see Ray sitting up in bed, clearly enjoying the view.
“So… What are you doing today?” Lilly asked. She stepped into her pants, pulled her shirt on, leaving the buttons undone while she sat in front of the mirror. She could see his shrug in the reflection.
“I need to sort out a few things with the parts manager in this area. Talk to my store operator. Put in an appearance there so they know I’m not just a voice on the phone.” Lilly watched him as he stretched his arms up, rubbed the stubble under his chin. She rubbed the last of the moisturiser in, smoothed some sheer powder over her eyelids, tinted her cheeks and darkened her lips. Leaning in, Lilly put on mascara and sat back with a look that was less than satisfied. There wasn’t much you could do with her complexion, short of getting a tan. Doing up her buttons, Lilly swung around on the stool.
“What are we doing, Ray?”
“I’m trying to find an excuse to stop you doing up those buttons, but you’re obviously… Well, obviously unstoppable.” He finished as she did up the last one and ghosted a smile at him. She’d done deodorant, toothpaste and the barest spray of perfume in the bathroom. Grabbing a hair brush, Lil pulled it through her hair a few times and adjusted her part before swinging her jacket on.
“You wear your hair down now.” Ray looked at her, eyebrows furrowed.
“Hm, and…” Lilly opened a drawer, dug around for her grey scarf.
“I think I like it.” She nodded, perched on his side of the bed to put her socks and shoes on. She wasn’t ready to tell him, or anyone else, the reasoning behind it. She hadn’t been as completely emotionally violated before as she had been with George. She’d never killed anyone with her hair down. It was her shield, as well as her way of stepping away from the woman who had pulled the trigger.
“We’re going to talk tonight. I might be home late.” Lilly stood to put on her belt, adjusting the holster so it sat just out of view under her jacket. She pulled the gun out of her top drawer, checked the safety. Satisfied, she strapped it in her holster and looked down at Ray. He leant out, clasped out of her hands, pulled her closer.
“I’ll wait up.” He said, smiling at her. Despite herself, Lilly leant in and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips, which he deepened. She pulled back, smiled at him.
“See you tonight.”
“’Bye.” His voice followed her out the door. Lilly paused in the kitchen to pour out some biscuits for the cats before she picked up her briefcase and gloves and left.

[jambled]

The office was quiet when she came in, and Lilly gave herself a moment to sit at her desk. She had to admit, the night before had been pleasant. Having a man around again was kind of nice; and Ray was familiar. She didn’t know anyone else she could get dressed in front of and feel completely unselfconscious. He’d seen her body more times than she dared to remember, and he’d never told her once that she needed to change anything, unlike Kite who had hinted that she could eat more, give him more to hold. She’d always been delicate, and she supposed it was because of bad nutrition and a lack of calories through her childhood as well as the only good genetics that had been passed on.
Lilly pulled out a few files and settled herself in to read.
“Have a good night?” Scotty was the next to come in, already brimming with sarcastic questions, and he interrupted her reading. Lilly chose to ignore his tone, nodded, looked up at him.
“Fine, thanks. Did you notice that the same guy who ran the grocery store put in a report of stolen goods on the Saturday of Lydia’s death? And that the paring knife reported stolen was found in the trash nearby with her blood on it?” Lilly was straight onto business, and Scotty came over as she pointed out the fact. He picked up the file on the grocery man and found a list of priors. They were getting up to head out to the grocery store guy’s place when Stillman came in. They updated him and left to chase up the lead.
Two hours later, they’d been through an informal interview that had dampened their enthusiasm and confirmed their worst suspicions; the thirty years that had passed were enough to allow Alzheimer’s to slowly permeate any memories of the Saturday night or the stolen goods. Another few hours after that, with Vera and Jeffries going on their own fruitless interview with the now-retired police officer who had taken the stolen goods report, they’d found nothing else in the file to suggest any other links they could work on.
“So, unless he has a lucid day soon, this is going to have to go back into storage.” Scotty stated the obvious, and everyone nodded. They were sitting dejectedly around the office, flipping through the files again when the phone on Lil’s desk rang. She was leaning back in her chair, Vera in her visitor’s chair, so he picked it up.
“Mhm. Okay. I’ll let her know.” She looked expectantly at Vera as he hung up.
“Some guy’s downstairs for you.” Lilly looked at her watch, swore under her breath. It was barely lunchtime. She’d told him she’d see him tonight.
“Someone about the case?” Vera asked. Lilly shook her head.
“No. Back in a minute.” Lil slipped into her jacket and walked through the cage to the elevator. Ray was leaning against the wall when she came down and he snagged her sleeve. Before she could tell him what she thought of his unexpected announcement, he stole her thunder.
“No keys. I’m locked out.”
“Oh.” Sheepishly, Lil searched her pocket, found her bunch of keys. She sorted through and slipped the house key off the ring. She narrowed her eyes as she handed it over.
“If you decide to go furniture rearranging…” Ray gave her a smile, grabbed the key off her.
“Want to get a coffee?” Lil looked at her watch again, shrugged. She’d told them a minute, but they’d figure it out. It’s not like they were getting anywhere anyway. Ray walked beside her easily, his loping stride somehow matching her smaller steps. He paid for the coffee, handed her a triple americano. She took a sip straight away and burnt her tongue.
“Crap.” Ray shook his head, led her to a nearby bench.
“Let the steam clear a bit. Stop rushing.” It was an admonishment he’d been making to her as far back as she could remember, and she countered it with her usual reply.
“Rush by name, rush by nature.” They shared a smile, looked over the street together. His hand rested lightly on her thigh as Lilly crossed her legs. She leant into him, wanting body heat more than anything. Ray was one person she felt comfortable being close to. She didn’t know what it was; maybe the amount of time they’d spent together on the bike, but his presence didn’t feel like an invasion of her space; it felt secure.
“Did you see your shop?”
“Yeah, it looks good. Real good. Already doing better business than I’d hoped. A few of the workshops guys needed a kick along, but it’s going to be great. Sometimes I miss just working on the bikes. Being a grease monkey.” She felt his shrug rather than saw it, let the pause lengthen.
“You’re not happy?” She asked.
“I think I’ve let my job become my life. I don’t want that anymore. What happens when I sell off the businesses. Then I’ll be some old guy with a bit of money and a few bikes.”
“I thought that was what you wanted to end up as.”
“I did. Maybe not so much anymore. Maybe money and bikes aren’t enough anymore.” Lilly finished the last of her coffee and stood. Ray looked up at her and she stared back down, finally looking over her shoulder towards PPD.
“I’d better get back.” She motioned to the building, started walking. Ray caught up with her before she could get inside, tangling his fingers in hers to pull her up.
“Maybe today, Lil, maybe you can figure out if you want to be a retired cop with a lot of pictures on your wall. Or whether you want something more, like you used to.” Lil looked into his eyes. She knew she was heading towards being an old lady with oddball cats and too many pictures of strangers on her wall. On the other hand, one of the few times she’d dared to hope for more had left her with a shattered heart and her relationship with her sister in pieces.
“The things I used to want… They were a long time ago. A lot’s changed since then.” Lilly paused, biting her lip. “More than you know.” She started to walk off again, but his next words pulled her up.
“I got my Harley priced, you know, before you got into the academy. It had too many miles on it… Wasn’t enough for the ring I had my eye on.” Lilly paused, her back to him. She had nothing to counter with, nothing to keep her walls blocked, her softening reserves up. She nodded, knowing he’d see, and walked to the elevator. She knew there were some decisions to be made today. First, though, she wanted to see if the guys had anything more on Lydia. She’d rather be a lonely old lady with cats than a fourteen year old lying in an alley way with her skirt pulled up, her pants bunched around her ankles, her throat a gaping mess and all hopes of growing up lost.

[jambled]

“So, your motorbike man’s back in town.” Lilly allowed a smile at the window as Scotty asked a question that, truthfully, she’d thought he’d have asked a lot sooner. He’d been making veiled comments all morning and she was half glad when she’d come back to the office to find what might have been a break in the case; she and Scotty were going to interview a man who had been Lydia Coultier’s stepfather at the time of her murder. Now they were in the car alone and he’d be able to get it out of his system. She wasn’t sure what it was with him; since George, he’d been a lot more insistent with his questions about her life. On occasion, she resented the intrusion when his questioning became unrelenting. She still couldn’t forget the way he’d lied to her face about Christina. Or that Christina had let slip so many of the secrets Lilly had tried so hard to keep close; Patrick, their childhood. She wondered how much he really knew about Ray.
“Seems that way.” Lilly looked over to him.
“Why?” She smiled to herself as she saw his jaw clench, knew he was casting about for an answer.
“Last time he came back, you told us to tell him you were dead. Bit of a turn around since then.” Lilly looked straight ahead, nodded to herself. A part of her had wanted to be dead to him, to put aside everything she had to tell him; everything she had to catch him up on since they went their separate ways. Instead, she’d realised he was here for nothing more than to remember how it was, and that he wasn’t interested in the present. Now, when she’d assumed the same thing, he’d trumped her and was talking futures. I priced my Harley.
“Things change.” She said. Once, they’d been as close to perfect together as was possible. But now… She knew he deserved more than she could give him. He’d always wanted three kids, the same as her. Children were a physical impossibility for her since that dark night on the street; she’d only found out when she’d been casually seeing someone and had come down with symptoms that had felt like morning sickness. She’d been on tenterhooks until she saw a doctor, convinced she’d been pregnant. It had been a case of food poisoning that her immune system hadn’t managed to shake. She’d been relieved when the doctor had prescribed only antibiotics, until he told her she’d never need to be concerned about getting morning sickness. She’d sought a second opinion and had been told the same thing; ruined beyond repair inside, unable to carry out the very function she was put on this earth for.
She’d been scarce in her dating since, despite the constant advances, not wanting to get in too deep with anyone in case it became serious and the subject came up. Then, somehow, Patrick had come along. She wasn’t quite sure how he’d swept her so completely off her feet. He’d been aloof enough for her, uncaring about her life pre-him, adamant that they’d remain childless. She knew he’d just been selfish now, but at the time it had been the perfect set up. Until Christina had waltzed in.
They were nearing the right street, and Lilly rechecked the address.
“People, too?” Scotty looked over at her, and their eyes met for a brief moment. Dampening her thoughts, Lilly pointed at the blue house with the grey roof, and Scotty swung the car into the driveway.
“He won’t be staying around.” Lilly didn’t answer his question, but her words seem to satisfy him as the subject was dropped and they walked up the steps to the door. She knew Ray thought he might want to stay around, become the father of her children like they’d dreamt so long ago, eyes staring at the stars, fingers intertwined, Harley parked behind them. Now, though, she was all she could offer him; a woman with a damaged womb who had long since resigned herself to growing old alone.

“Walk you to the train, Lil?” Scotty waited when Lilly nodded, grabbed her jacket. She looked tired; they’d interviewed the stepfather and come across several new leads, including a boyfriend that Lydia’s mother hadn’t known about. They’d tracked his location down that afternoon, after trawling through the intranet for hours, and were going to see him where he worked tomorrow.
“Need me to pick you up tomorrow? You’re on the way.” Scotty pushed the lift button for the ground floor.
“Sure, that’d be good.” She’d been getting considerably quieter all afternoon, and Scotty wondered if it had to do with the guy on the Harley, who seemed to ride in and out of her life. Christina had mentioned something, once, when they were standing on a corner together, both tipsy, waiting for a cab. A Harley had blown by, and she’d narrowed her eyes at it, watched it until it was obscured by a building.
“Like motorbikes?” Scotty had teased her. She’d looked up at him, her eyes darkening.
“No, just… The sound… Reminds me of when Lil left. She was nineteen and she just… She wasn’t there the next morning. We didn’t hear from her for months, until she got into the academy… Mom hated that guy…” Christina had kept staring down the street, Harley forgotten as the cab arrived. Scotty had opened the door, climbed in after her. He hadn’t pegged Lil as someone that would have just left her family behind, regardless of who the guy was or how much poo poo she was getting at home. Then again, he couldn’t imagine growing up the way she did, and if he had, he was sure he’d take any excuse to get out.
Now he was still wondering about it, whether her Harley guy was the same one who’d taken her away when she was nineteen. If so, he could identify with the way she felt; he knew how relationships could be when the history ran too deep.
“Long day, huh?” Scotty made small talk as they walked down the street. Lil was rewrapping her scarf, winding it around her pale neck to keep the cold air away.
“Hm. Yeah, it was. At least we got somewhere in the end.”
“Yeah.” There was a comfortable silence between them for a while. Vehicles burbled along the road, puffs of steam emitting from their tail pipes.
“Do you mind?” Scotty asked out of the blue. He’d still been caught on thoughts of this Harley riding guy. He’d known how long it had taken Lil to succumb to Kite’s obvious advances, and Kite, a stable DA, was someone he could imagine her with. This other guy seemed to be a bum who rode in and out of her life, yet she seemed comfortable with this arrangement. He won’t be staying around.
“Mind what?” Her eyes flickered over to his, suddenly incandescent under the street light.
“Just… If he’s not staying around…” Scotty let his words trail off, not sure whether he’d adequately stitched a question in. Lilly let out a loud breath, almost a sigh.
“Ray’s…” She paused at the steps to the station, poised to walk down. He could see her eyes were downward, formulating an answer. It was the first time he’d heard her speak his name, and he could sense the familiar way it tripped off her tongue. Finally she shrugged, looked up at him.
“Gotta get your kicks when you can. ‘Night, Scotty.” She turned and he watched her figure disappearing down into the fluorescent flutter of the station. He wondered about all the responses she’d carefully discarded in favour of one that would reveal little and keep him at bay. Sighing, he kicked at the pavement a little before turning away and resuming his steps. As ever, she would continue to be enigmatic. Ever since the woods, since there’d been such a real chance of losing her, Scotty had been trying to know more about her. He didn’t want to look down at her grave in any way, shape or form, but he particularly didn’t want to stand at a partner’s funeral and realise that all he knew was that she had two cats and hated show tunes. He didn’t even know when she’d got the cats, or why they were each missing a crucial body part. And he had no idea why show tunes irritated her so much. She was a mystery to him, and the little Chris had let slip hadn’t helped him figure her out any more.
Crossing the street, dodging an irritated taxi driver with an extended middle finger, Scotty wondered if he’d ever know much about her. She usually answered questions with questions, as good cops learn to do. The only time she seemed to let her guard down was with victims, suspects, perps. Even then, he was never sure how much of it was made up, carefully subtexted into conversation to convince them she was the one they should spill their secrets onto. And usually it worked. But it was always a one way street, and she never let the details go too deep. George was the only one who had spouted her own history back at her, throwing words that had hit their mark and intriguing Scotty, who had never assumed there was anything as dark in Lil’s past.
Scotty had made it despite a family that had wanted a lawyer, not a homicide cop. But Lil… Lil had come from a housing estate in Kensington avenue, a 49, a sister who had done nothing but take from her and a seemingly loveless mother to be the best on their team. And that fact, disregarding his feelings on knowing nothing at a funeral or her intelligence and slightly oddball humour, her fearlessness and her fragility that she kept tightly under wraps… That fact alone was enough to convince Scotty that he wanted to know more.

[jambled]

For once, lights were on in her apartment when she approached. It looked kind of homely from the outside. Even when she and Kite had been dating, he’d never come here without her. It had always been him, standing next to her as she unlocked the door, flipping the light on as they entered.
Lilly slid the key in the lock and opened the door. She could hear the quiet sound of the television, and the smell of lasagne was heavy in the air. Ray appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, his jeans baggy at his hips, shirt skimming over muscles, open at the neck.
“Hey.” He said. Lilly offered him a tired smile, swung the door shut behind her. She usually didn’t have to interact with anyone once she got home. Talking to people all day; Scotty, Vera, Jeffries and Stillman as well as the usual line of witnesses, all of whom commanded different interview styles… It became exhausting so that all she wanted to do was come home to a quiet house. And she wasn’t looking forward to what she had to tell Ray, what he needed to hear, what would inevitably make him ride away again, perhaps this time to never return. She hadn’t told anyone about her infertility, ever. It had been between her and the two doctors who had looked at her with sympathetic eyes. She and Ray had been long over when she’d found out, and he was the only man she’d even begun to consider having children with. Everyone else had come too late, so that if she ever closed her eyes to remember what she’d dreamt her unborn might look like, she’d always give them dark hair and green eyes.
“Sip?” Ray offered her the beer bottle he had in his hands and, dropping her bag to the floor, Lilly crossed over to him to take a long swallow.
“Been shopping?” She asked, raising an eyebrow as she glanced into the kitchen to see that her fruit bowl now actually held fruit rather than unpaid bills and a spare set of car keys.
“Mhm.” Ray took his beer back and his fingers strayed across hers for a moment.
“I’m gonna go shower.” Lil left him in the kitchen. She wanted to prolong the space between now and the inevitable; the conversation she’d told him they’d have tonight. The decision he was hoping to hear, about whether she wanted to be an old lady with cats or something more. The truth was, she’d been resigned to being an old lady with cats unless another man came along who didn’t ask anything of her except that she give him her body every now and then. Someone who wouldn’t ask questions, step over the boundaries she’d constructed, keep her from her work. Instead, she had a man in her kitchen who had already long been allowed in her space, who had known her before there were as many boundaries.

“Thought you might have drowned under there.” The lasagne was on the table when she came down. She foregone her usual singlet and boxers for a pair of leggings and a grey shirt. She’d felt the need to be more covered, more in control.
Lilly sat at the table, curling a leg up underneath her. The coffee Ray had bought her had been all she’d had for the day, and her stomach tentatively gave a growl. Ray smiled over at her, his lasagne already being devoured. She pushed hers around on the plate. As hungry as she was, she was more nervous about letting a secret go that had been hers, and hers alone for years, and her stomach had contracted, not only with hunger but with trepidation. She wasn’t sure she could squeeze any food in with the butterflies already in residence down there.
“So, what do you want, Ray?” Lil levelled her eyes at him. It was no use telling him anything if he was just going to leave again. But his comments so far hadn’t convinced her that was his plan this time. He ate another forkful of lasagne before meeting her eyes. He chewed slowly, taking his time before putting his fork down and leaning back a little in his chair. When he spoke, his voice was rumbling soft.
“I want what I wanted when I was twenty two, and you were holding on to me and we were just riding…” His eyes looked distant, and she knew he was rediscovering the memory, the things they could hope for once they’d both clawed their way out of the raw deals they’d both been dealt simply from the families they were born in to. Back then, they were adamant their children wouldn’t grow up fatherless, barely loved. Lil felt the tears %#$%ling, aching to get out and she bowed her head, studied the uneaten lasagne that slowly wafted steam.
“Lil…” She could hear the chair squeak under him as he leant forward, reached out to free her fingers from her fork and encase them with his own.
“Lil…” She couldn’t look up at him. She’d never spoken the words out loud, and all she could manage was a quiet gasp.
“Can’t.” She said, biting her lip, struggling for control. She drew a knee up to rest her chin on, thanking the decision she’d made when she started wearing her hair out; it formed a cascade around her, a kind of shield. Ray let the silence hold, and it gave her time to form words around thoughts, to steel herself so that she could look up into his eyes.
“I can’t have children, Ray. You can’t have what we wanted.” She smoothly pulled her hand from his grasp and pushed her chair out with a jerk. She stood up, not knowing where she was going, only that she couldn’t be in the same room as him as the news sank in, couldn’t watch his dreams crumble as hers had when she’d heard.
Olivia and Tripod followed her into the small room off the lounge room, curled around her as she lay on the daybed, her knees hugged to her chest. She reached out, pulled Olivia to her chin and stroked her head, trying to block out the sounds of his chair scraping back in the kitchen, of the slow footsteps that followed her path through to where she lay. There was silence in the room, and she imagined she could hear him breathing. Then the day bed sagged in the middle as his weight was lowered beside her. He didn’t reach out to touch her, and she was glad, not sure she could take it. The silence grew to a crescendo between them, and she was silently almost begging him to say something, to give her any idea of how he felt.
“I want you, Lil. You’ll…” She remembered that he was always monosyllabic, and she could almost feel him struggling to choose the right words. She’d always been the talker out of the two of them, and while he’d occasionally come out with longer sentences he’d, more often than not, just agreed with her or remained a silent presence, warm beside her, as he was now.
“You’re all I need…” She kept her back to him, her eyes staring at his subtle shadow painted on the wall by the overflowing light from the lounge. He was still, his face cast towards her. She closed her eyes, blocking out the fluttering shadow of his hands that he brought up to rub his own eyes with. She felt, rather than saw him get up and leave the room. Alone again, Lilly stifled her sobs against Olivia’s velvet fur and wondered what she was crying for; herself, Ray or the children they’d dreamed of together.



It was late when she woke, and realised she’d actually fallen asleep. Soft light filtered through from the lounge room, where a lamp had been left on. Sitting up, rubbing eyes that felt tired despite the brief sleep, Lilly pushed off the comforter that Ray must have draped over her. She tentatively walked to the kitchen, wondering where he was. Although he’d cleaned up after dinner, she could still smell the faint waft of lasagne on the air. Lil looked out the window, saw the Harley still parked out front. He was obviously still here, just not downstairs. She debated about sleeping on the day bed, but decided against it. For once, she didn’t feel like being alone.
After turning off the lamp, she padded quietly up the stairs, feeling her way in the dark. The door to her room was ajar, and she pushed it further open, letting herself in silently. She could hear him breathing, didn’t think it was slow enough for him to be asleep. Sliding onto her own side of the bed, Lilly kept her eyes open, waiting for them to adjust to the darkness. In time, she could see the outline of his face and the shimmer of his eyes staring back at her. He reached an arm out, and she paused a moment before moving closer to him, allowing it to gently reach around her, his hand coming up to stroke her hair.
“I’m sorry.” Lilly’s words were muffled in his chest, and he held her tighter, the hand on her hair stilling.
“It was… Something bad happened… I was ten…” Without realising it, she’d started crying again. She cursed herself internally; Lilly Rush could make it through a conversation without crying. Well, at least she could try and make it through the second time. Holding her breath and biting back sobs, Lil internally gave herself a shake. She owed it to him to tell him, and she needed to tell someone; to have someone other than George in her secret circle. Third time lucky.
“You know what my mother was like… She sent me out for alcohol. It was late, and the store was a few blocks away, but I’d done it a few times before.” Lil spoke while he stayed silent, not interjecting or asking questions. Her words were quietened by his chest before they hovered in the shadowy room. She came to the end, to being told by two separate doctors that children weren’t something she could expect, and waited expectantly. She didn’t know what kind of a response she would get; pity, empathy, disgust that she could let that happen to her.
“Like I said, all I need is you. And you’re perfect just the way you are. But if I ever found him…” Ray’s arms instinctively tightened around her as his anger was verbalised. Lil shifted and he relaxed again. She leaned up, let her lips linger on his. He spoke little, but somehow he always found the right words when they were needed.
They made love slowly, looking at each other through the darkness before they fell asleep together, limbs intertwined, breaths synchronous.

[jambled]

Scotty knocked, waited. He’d noticed that the bike was still in the driveway, and the door swung open to reveal the owner, already attired in jeans and a black shirt. He was still buttoning it up and he turned to yell for Lilly as he popped the last button into place.
“She’ll be out in a second. I’m Ray. We didn’t really get to meet last time I saw you.”
“Scotty.” There was a firm handshake exchanged before a silence lapsed between them.
“So…” Ray checked over his shoulder before pulling the door further closed behind him. He was taller than Scotty and looked down at him, concern darkening the already deep eyes.
“Just… Can you look out for her today? She’s…” Ray shook his head, and Scotty could see him struggling for words, so he started nodding as she pulled the door open, stepped out beside Ray. He knew Lilly wasn’t easily explained, and he could tell something had changed between them. She looked the same as ever, but with smudges of tiredness that lay, unbudged under her eyes. Scotty nodded once more to Ray over Lilly’s head before retreating down to the car. He slid in, watching as words were exchanged between them. Ray brought an arm up, pushed back some blonde hair that had fallen into her eyes, and she looked into his eyes without smiling. He said something else as his hand trailed down her face and rested on her shoulder. She finally said something to him, looking down to put her gloves on. He dropped his hand as she stepped away, and they shared a long look before she came down to the car.
“Morning.” Scotty said. Lilly nodded, her eyes moving across to Ray, looking back at her. Scotty pulled away from the curb and she finally looked back to the front. The silence she’d pulled around herself wasn’t stony, but it wasn’t as easily penetrated as it usually was. Scotty wondered how long before Ray left; whether that was what was making Lil so quiet.
“So what angle do you want to take on Lydia’s boyfriend?” Scotty moved onto the case. He was still mulling over Ray’s words. Look out for her today. But he knew better than asking Lil if anything was wrong outright; she’d give him a look like he’d just tried to drown her cat before she shut him down.
“We can see why he didn’t come forward in the first place. Your girlfriend gets murdered, you want to know why.”
“Unless you’re the doer.” Scotty followed her thought to the end and she nodded before, once again, the car ride lapsed into silence.

Lill’s phone rang in her pocket as she was sitting down to put notes in the case file. The day had been longer, but more rewarding than they’d hoped. The nursing home that the previous grocery store owner was in had called to say he was having a good day. Jeffries and Vera had rushed over with an image of the boyfriend, amongst other mug shot photos. The owner had easily picked him out, which wasn’t enough to hold up in court, but it gave Lil enough leverage with the boyfriend to get some more names; guys he’d robbed the store with. Of course, he maintained that he didn’t end up with any of the goods from the store, and didn’t kill Lydia. Lilly thought she believed him. Then again, he could just be making them waste their time looking up the other two people involved in the robbery while he got together his escape plan. They hadn’t had enough to hold him overnight, so they’d let him go home with an admonishment to stay in the state. Of course, words were only as decent as the ears they fell on, and he could be out and gone by the time she woke up tomorrow morning.
“Hey.” Lil saw her own home number on the caller ID, forewent the official phone greeting.
“Hey. You nearly done?” As always, he sounded relaxed, and Lilly could almost see him in her mind; socked feet draped over the end of the couch, the cats curled up next to him. Despite their wariness around most people, they were remarkably cosy with Ray. Lilly didn’t know whether to take it as a sign or not.
“Yeah. Just gotta finish up some notes.”
“Hm.” There was a silence, and Lil let it grow between them as she tucked the phone between cheek and shoulder so she could use both hands to flick through to the right part of the file. Looking onto the quick handwritten notes she’d scrawled down to jog her memory, she started writing.
“Did you call just so you could listen to me breathing?” Lil kept her voice down, noticing Scotty looking over at her from his desk. Ray laughed, his deep chuckle making her smile before he got back to being serious.
“I just wanted to check… Not avoiding me…” He’d already tried to call once that day, but Lil had been in the interview room, away from her phone. She’d noticed the missed call, but hadn’t gotten around to calling him back yet.
“No. Just busy.” Another silence grew before he broke it again.
“Well, I’ll see you tonight.”
“Mhm.” Lil started on the second paragraph, pausing to read through her notes again.
“Love you.” His words made her stop, smile her first smile of the day. She’d been on edge since last night’s session of truth, and for some reason his simple avowal eased her nerves a little.
“‘Bye.” Lilly flipped her phone shut and let her smile linger before looking back down at the half written report. Suddenly, she didn’t want to be here. She had Ray waiting at home for her, probably with last night’s lasagne. Tonight, she might be able to stomach it.
Lilly sighed, flexing her fingers around the pen. One more paragraph would probably encompass the most pertinent points of the interview. As long as she included the names he’d given them, and what he’d said about the robbery she’d be covered. Besides, she had to remind herself; every line she wrote, every statement they untangled got them closer to finding Lydia’s killer.

Scotty kept his eyes flicked over to Lilly for a few moments after she hung up. He hadn’t heard much of her conversation, but the smile was enough for him to guess who it was. She’d been quieter than usual all day, annoyingly silent on the car ride to bring in the boyfriend, less pushy than usual with the witness, generally in a state barely removed from gloominess. Even if Ray hadn’t said anything, Scotty would have picked up on the undercurrent of sadness. He was reminded of when she broke up with Kite; she’d been as quiet then, reluctant to impart anything. But if Ray was leaving, he didn’t know why she’d smile when he was on the other end, why the origin of her depression would leave such a lightness on her face long after she hung up on his call.
“I’m gonna go. See you tomorrow?” In the time it had taken him to consider his partner’s inner workings; a veritable impossibility to figure out, but something he taunted himself with occasionally, she’d finished up writing her version of the interview and was putting everything in her bag, ready to go home.
“Yeah, sure. Lil…” Scotty let his voice trail off, and she looked up at him, an eyebrow arched.
“Hm?” It was now or never that he asked her; with Lilly there was no yesterday, no history if she could help it. Whatever had been bothering her today, however, would have him wondering for days, and if he didn’t at least ask…
“You okay? I mean… Something happen last night? You’ve been a little preoccupied today.” She held his gaze for a second before dropping her eyes to her bag, fastening it.
“I’m fine, Scotty.” She fiddled with her bag strap as if she wanted to say more, and Scotty waited. As usual, though, she sealed the walls, kept herself in seclusion and revealed nothing more to him.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Her bag was on her shoulder, and she was checking her gun out of the cage while he could do nothing more than nod her goodbye and wonder. As always, with anything to do with Lilly, he’d wonder.

It felt like last night; the house lit before she was home, the key turning in the lock to reveal the television’s soft background burbling. There was no smell of lasagne though, and Lilly furrowed her brow as she walked in, wondering what they were going to have for dinner.
“Hey.” She had the door closed and locked and her scarf and jacket hung on the coat rack before Ray put in an appearance, appearing at the bottom of the stairs.
“Hey. No reheated lasagne?” Lilly asked, looking over at him. They still hadn’t worked anything out, including their nightly greeting. Once, she’d have walked through the door and they’d have been all over each other. Now, though, they couldn’t claim teenage libidos and she stayed on her side of the room, letting him cross the floor to get closer to her.
“Thought you might feel like something else.” As if on cue, the doorbell rang, and Lilly turned and opened the door to find a pizza guy, shirt alarmingly red, steaming pizza held out like a peace offering. Ray handed him a few notes and grabbed the pizza.
“You ordered pizza?” Lilly smiled, shook her head. It used to be their staple diet, when they could actually afford to get pizza. Most of the time they’d lived off hot chips and the bottomless cups of coffee that roadside diners offered.
“Not just any pizza. Double pepperoni with olives and three different types of cheese.” Ray looked pleased with himself as he set the box on the coffee table in front of the television and sank onto a couch.
“Mm. I’m gonna get changed. Don’t eat it all before I’m back.”
Lilly came back down to find the pizza half gone.
“What, you inhaled it?” She reached past him for a slice before curling her legs up underneath her on the couch. She really needed to get to the Laundromat; not only was she almost out of suits, but the only comfy long pants she had left were some that Christina had left behind on her last hurried departure. She usually made it a rule not to wear trackpants with writing across the butt, but desperate times... Lilly was surprised anything had been left behind at all; she’d been sure she’d arrive home to find her favourite pair of heels missing rather than an extra item of clothing gained.
“I was hungry.” Ray shrugged, reached for another piece. Lil shook her head, pointed her pizza slice at the tv.
“What’s on?”
“Nothing interesting.” Ray turned the television off, threw the remote down near the pizza box. Lil ran a tongue around her lips, clearing the grease from them.
“So…” Lil looked at Ray expectantly, waiting for conversation. He’d made the silence, he could fill it back up.
“You thirsty?” Lil stopped Ray from getting up to get them drinks as she nodded at him. She’d just barely managed to finish her slice of pizza, and she needed to wash her hands. As soon as she stood up, she heard the guffaw from behind her.

[jambled]

“Hot Stuff, hmm?” Ray laughed again after reading out the stitched on letters. Lilly turned to glare at him.
“You really want to challenge that?” Ray smirked, reached for the second last slice of pizza.
“Not considering I’ve never seen truer words printed on the backside of a pair of pants.” Lil shook her head as she walked through to the kitchen.
“Hey, you remember that little motel we stayed at near Knoxville? Dodgy hot water, flickering lights?” Lil remembered, and she nodded as she came back, hands clean and bearing a bottle of water and a beer.
“Yeah.” It was right before they’d driven past the small chapel, came back to park outside. They’d sat outside for an hour, until twilight changed into the deeper blue of night, stars %#$%ing the sky and bleeding light overhead. Neither one of them were brave, or stupid enough, to get off the bike. In the end, they’d driven off again, idea postponed but not forgotten.
“We ate the same type of pizza that night. Thought I knew that recipe from somewhere.”
“Recipe? You picked pizza toppings. I don’t think it counts as a recipe.” Lil twisted the top off her water, took a long drink.
“Cooking is creativity, babe.” Ray popped the top of his beer and downed half the bottle while Lil sat back on the couch and allowed herself a smile. She was wearing pants that had hot stuff printed on the butt, and a man who may or may not be her boyfriend had just called her babe. She wasn’t sure what it was about Ray that made her feel so natural, so completely comfortable. Even when she and Kite had been together for a while, she’d still felt tethered by his expectations of her. Ray had had expectations, but she’d vetoed them in a single sentence; I can’t have children, Ray. Kite’s expectation had been much lower, but she’d killed them just as effectively by lingering too long with a surprise midnight visitor. But Kite was history, and Ray was still here. They still hadn’t talked further about the revelations she’d revealed; this morning had been filled with light conversation and Ray’s suggestion that he get her a bigger hot water system so he didn’t have to freeze when he got second shower. Admittedly, she’d had to wash her hair and she didn’t usually take showers for that long, but when the water turned cold she’d heard the swear word all the way down in the kitchen.
“Did you go to your shop today?” Lil stretched a leg out, couldn’t reach the coffee table, rested it on Ray’s leg which reached the table with room to spare.
“Yeah, did a few hours of talking to suppliers, letting them know we can’t wait for parts.” He downed another third of the beer, smiled.
“Dudes on Harley’s are not the type you wanna mess with.”
“I know.” Lilly let the right amount of inflection drift into her tone, and looked up to meet his eyes, making sure he got it.
“Hey, I’m one of the good guys.” Ray protested, finished his beer.
“Yeah.” Lil sighed, leant forward to get up for another beer.
“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.” His voice was muffled as he rummaged in the ‘fridge and Lilly waited until he was back, leaning against the doorframe, before she spoke.
“Why are you here?” She knew she hadn’t phrased the question properly, but she didn’t know how to adequately put it into words; why he was still around despite the fact that she’d rendered him childless. Of course, he’d told her all he needed was her but now, when it was feeling more like them; the pizza, the beer, it might be a different reality. She didn’t want to rely on him being here if he wasn’t going to be. And she didn’t want him to stay because she was his last resort.
Ray looked puzzled, and Lil took a deep breath, pushed herself forward so she was perched on the edge of the couch.
“What are you still doing here? I mean, I know you say you don’t want to be alone but…” Lil looked down, at her folded hands that had dropped to her lap.
“You’ve said a lot of things before. And now, the way I am…” Lil bit her lip for a moment, before she continued. She didn’t want him to leave, but she knew she had to try and unsettle him. He’d slotted into her life too easily, too quickly. Sure, she’d known him for almost longer than she hadn’t known him, but they weren’t love struck teenagers anymore, and she wasn’t sure she could cope with the effect of the break up this time around. Not if she let herself fall too far into his arms.
“Why me? You could have any woman… Someone who can give you a family…” She didn’t look up at him until he perched himself on the coffee table across from her.
“I love you, Lil. I want to be here, with you.”
“Because you pity me?” Lil searched his eyes, stood up as he started shaking his head.
“You just won’t let yourself be happy, will you?” His voice was suddenly loud in the quiet room, and Lilly flinched, got up to retreat further towards the kitchen. Ray stood up as well, looking exasperated. He bit his lip, watching her. She looked back, wondering if she’d achieved what she was trying to do, but what she wasn’t hoping for. That he’d get his keys, and his bag and ride off again. And that maybe, this time, he really wouldn’t come back. It hurt that he was right, too. Happiness had been a rare emotion for her when she was growing up; any elation had been rapidly quashed so that it became easier to start out with low expectations. Easier, too, to neglect any bliss that might come her way. Being consistently despondent was easy only when she never stepped into the bright square of delight, realised how good it could be over there. Realised she was only happy when it rained, and that sunshine would disappear too easily into shade at the drift of a cloud.
“God, just…” Sounding resigned, Ray left the room. She heard his footsteps, swift on the stairs before she let the doorframe to the kitchen catch her as she slumped. Why was she so self destructive? He’d been in front of her, telling her he loved her, and she’d found a way to @#@# it up. She didn’t really think he pitied her, but she knew it would play on his pride. Sometimes, knowing how to push the right buttons, how to get to people became a curse. Entirely necessary in an interview room, but dangerous in real life.
The shuffling upstairs had ceased, and she heard him coming back down. He’d put his leather jacket on, and his other hand was shoved into the pocket.
“I wanted to do this under different circumstances, but since you’re the same; stubborn as hell, I guess it’ll have to be now.” Lilly tried her best to keep a puzzled expression off her face. What, he wanted to take off when they were on better terms?
“Imagine stars over your head. Smell of grass at night.” Ray came over to stand beside her, his free hand coming out to start at her shoulder, slide down her arm. He sighed, dropped to one knee and brought a small velvet box out of his pocket.

[jambled]

“Crap.” Lilly breathed under her breath. When she’d called his bluff, she’d expected a slamming door and a Harley starting, not this.
“It’s always been you.” Ray opened the box, revealed a white gold diamond ring. The first thing Lilly noticed is how much it matched the ring her grandmother had given her when she was ten, pawned by her mother when she was twelve to get money for alcohol. Of course, that ring had never held a diamond, but it had been sparkly enough for a child, and the only present she’d ever got off her grandmother.
“Well? Don’t make me get the tattoo removed.” Lilly looked from the box to Ray’s eyes. She knew how fickle engagements could be; but she also knew Ray. When he was in, he was in. And, damnit, she’d loved him. Somewhere under the layers of hurt invented by Patrick, Christina, Kite, Scotty… Somewhere under there, she knew she still loved him. And he’d met Christina before, had seen through the act straight away, which removed one worry.
Lilly let herself sink to the floor. As usual, he’d managed to tilt her world again. Ever since she saw him nineteen years ago, he’d been finding ways to get to her. It had started with the offer of a free Harley ride out of there two weeks after she’d met him and now, almost twenty years later, he was offering a more grown up version of that ride; more strings attached, more to lose if it all fell apart. But somehow she knew she was going to accept his offer again.
Lil offered her left hand, and his smile grew wider as he slid the ring on her finger. She looked at it, felt a smile animate her own face before it was lost under his kiss.
“Love you.” Ray said when he finally pulled away from her. Lil pushed her hair back, let her head rest against his shoulder.
“Love you, too.”

When the alarm went off the next morning, Ray had somehow managed to switch sides of the bed with her and, flinging his arm out, managed to hit the right button to shut the radio up. Lilly turned over, trying to see the time past him. She probably needed to get to work early, read over the interview notes, see if there was anything she’d left out after Ray rang. Usually she got up an hour earlier than this and went jogging in the mornings, but, even before Ray had arrived, she’d been deliciously lazy and had opted to lie in the warmth of her bed rather than brave the icy Philly mornings.
“It’s, like, five am.” Ray used the arm he had around Lil to pull her closer, ensnare her in a sleepy embrace.
“It’s just before seven. I’ve got to go to work.” Lil managed to extricate herself and slid her feet into her slippers before she padded over to the closet. Opening it, she muttered a swear word under her breath, heard Ray laugh.
“Nothing to wear?” He teased. Lilly pulled out her ‘last resort’ suit; dark grey, complete with pencil skirt. She didn’t think she’d had to wear it before; had always managed to scrape together time to drop her suits into the dry cleaners, and get her shirts put through the Laundromat. With Ray here, and the case taking up as many hours as it did, she’d completely forgotten. So now, not only was she going to have to show up at work with a ring on that finger, she was going to have to show up in a skirt. Rummaging through her sock draw, Lil managed to find a pair of dark tights to put under it. She was still going to freeze, though.
“Leave me some hot water.” She heard the yell as she turned the shower on, took her toothbrush out of her mouth to shout back.
“If you’re lucky.”

Lil brushed at her skirt despairingly. She hated the way it hugged her hips and tightened around her butt as she walked. She’d have to remember not to sit any way but with her legs crossed, either.
“C’mere.” Ray called her over, and Lil grabbed her shirt and pulled it on as she walked to the bed. He’d snagged her pillow and was sitting up comfortably, watching her get dressed, as usual.
“You look great. Seriously. That skirt makes a man’s imagination go some crazy places…” Ray reached down to pull back Lil’s shirt, place a kiss on her shoulder. She snorted, pulled her shirt back up.
“I’ve probably got to interview two possible murder and rape suspects today. I’m not sure I want anyone’s imagination doing anything.” Lilly flicked her hair over her collar, started buttoning the shirt.
“Should your fiancé be worried?” Lil laughed out loud, shook her head as she got up to retrieve her shoes.
“You know, it has a nice ring to it. Fiancé. Say it.”
“No.” Lil pursed her lips, tried to stop smiling. She leant down to fasten the buckles on her shoes.
“Really, Lil. I’m gonna go to work today and say guys, you shoulda seen what my fiancé left the house in this morning.”
“You wouldn’t.” Lil finished her buckling, turned to look at him.
“Won’t if you say it.” Lil chewed her lip thoughtfully, walked over to get a scarf. Turning back towards Ray, she sighed again.
“Fiancé. There.” She put her jacket on, brushed some lint of the sleeve. Ray was nodding at her.
“See?” Lil rolled her eyes at him.
“I’m gonna go. I’ll see you tonight.” She came over to the bedside table beside him and pulled her holster out. He grabbed her arm, eyes persuading her to lean down and give him a quick kiss.
“I do like that skirt.” He called after her.

Getting closer to the office, Lil could feel the bite of the air on her legs, even through the tights. Her gloves were snug over the ring as well, so that she was ever conscious of its existence. She’d considered the idea that maybe running out of trousers was a decent diversionary tactic; everyone would be so busy teasing her about the skirt that they’d neglect to notice the ring, or its placement on the fourth finger of her left hand. Who was she kidding? They were detectives; they noticed everything. She knew it would lead to raised eyebrows, questions. With the exception of Scotty, they’d wonder who he was and how he got Lil, usually the resident single girl, to agree to marriage. Jeffries would quietly congratulate her, Stillman would ask about time off for a honeymoon, Vera would crack a distasteful joke. Truth was, she wasn’t thinking ahead to a wedding, a honeymoon. Neither, it seemed, was Ray, with the way he was so enamoured of the word fiancé. Besides, they’d already been through a honeymoon stage in their relationship; this time around, they were more like the settled older couple, comfortable with each other, privy to each other’s childhood secrets, holders of each other’s history.
Lil sighed, let a smile escape her lips as her right hand closed over her left. Who’d have thought she’d be engaged again? It would annoy the hell out of her mother; she loved to tell Lilly how alone she was. And the fact that it was Ray… Lil allowed herself a small giggle as she pushed open the door to PDD, pleased to be out of the cold.
“Morning,” the security guard nodded to her and she nodded back, still smiling. Maybe today wasn’t as bad as she’d thought.

[jambled]

“Morning, Lil.” Surprisingly, Kat was in the office. She’d been on leave for the past few weeks and Lilly had thought she’d had the rest of the week off.
“Hey, Kat. You’re back early, aren’t you?” Lilly put her gun in a locker before unwrapping the scarf from her neck and pulling off her gloves. Her back to Kat, she looked down and turned the ring around so that the diamond was on her palm side. As only a band of silver, it was considerably less noticeable. She had considered taking it off, but she wanted to wear it, let it symbolise what she and Ray had. And there was something conventional about marriage Lil liked; promising herself to one person, accepting the same promise. Of course, last time it hadn’t worked out. Then again, Ray wasn’t Patrick.
“As good as it was to make school lunches and attend every PTA meeting, I got a little stir crazy. I’ve been looking over the notes; girl murdered in the alley?”
“Lydia Coultier. Thirty years ago. Today, we’ve got to chase up the two guys who helped Lydia’s boyfriend in the robbery that got whomever it was the murder weapon. We did an interview with the boyfriend yesterday; he never came forward after she died, so he won’t be in the original file.” Lil sat on her chair and reached into her desk. She got out the notes she’d written yesterday and handed them to Kat with her right hand. Maybe she’d be able to adjust to this. Sure, they’d all find out eventually, but she was hoping it would be later, rather than sooner, when she’d had more time to get used to the idea. Maybe after they all knew she was actually dating someone. Scotty was the only one who knew Ray was back, and she’d told him Ray wouldn’t be staying around. At the time, she’d thought she was right but now, apparently, she hadn’t been further from the truth. She was sure Scotty wouldn’t think that though, that he would probably think she’d lied to his face for reasons unknown.
“So we couldn’t hold the boyfriend?” Kat had quickly read through Lil’s notes, was handing her back the file.
“Nah. No evidence. Knife wasn’t enough on its own. Told him to stick around but…” Lil shrugged, and Kat nodded. She knew that if a suspect was going to run, they were going to run.
“So, anything happen while I was away?” Suddenly, Lilly had the urge to show her the ring, indulge in some girly talk before the guys came in. Then again, she didn’t do girly talk very well, and she didn’t know if she could face the twenty questions that Kat would throw her way. When she’d gone on leave, there’d been no one on Lilly’s horizon, no marriage offers looming. Naturally, she’d be curious. And while Kat didn’t seem like the type to gossip, Lil knew whatever details she let slip would be all over the department by the time she went home.
“Nothing note worthy.” Lil shrugged.
“Morning.” Jeffries was next in, and he slung his coat over his chair. Lilly smiled up at him before looking back down to the interview notes.
You’re back early, aren’t you?” Lil stifled a laugh under her breath as she looked up to see Kat roll her eyes. No doubt, she was going to be asked that three more times that morning.
“Hey, guys.” Scotty and Vera arrived next, Scotty bearing steaming cups of coffee.
“Oh, Kat… Didn’t know you were here. Aren’t you back early?” Lil couldn’t help herself, shared a look and a smirk with Kat as she accepted her coffee.
“Group announcement; there’s only so much time away from this I could cope with. I’m back early.” Kat shook her head, looked around at everyone holding their coffees. “And I’m going to get a damn coffee.” She left and Lil stood, taking the file over to Scotty’s desk, where the case box was. Vera let out a low whistle, and Lilly shot him a glare.
“I ran out of suits.” She walked back into her chair, sank into it gracefully, pointedly ignoring the look Vera and Scotty were sharing as she crossed her legs. She sipped her coffee and leant back in her chair. Scotty had looked up the names the boyfriend had given them yesterday, so all that was left to do was clear the interviews with Stillman, who was, unusually, running late.
“We got an angle to go on today?” Stillman entered the office with Kat, who was proudly holding a double large cup in her gloved hand. Lilly wound her scarf around her neck and pulled on her gloves while Jeffries explained where they were up to. Stillman told them all to go ahead. Lil and Scotty were to go see Matthew Anderson, and Vera was going with Kat to find David Brennan. Jeffries had a court date lined up that morning on a murder charge he’d placed a few months ago. Surprisingly, at the moment the wheels of justice were turning remarkably quickly.
“So where does this guy work?” Scotty handed a piece of paper to Lil, and she read the address. Remarkable that a guy who’d started out robbing grocery stores would end up with his own accountancy firm in North Philly.
“Guess he’s cleaned up his act.”

The interview with Matthew Anderson had been unremarkable. He’d stared at Lil’s legs for most of the time; something Scotty had been trying not to do himself. He’d also provided them with an alibi that, thirty years later, was still holding up. Kat and Vera had returned with similar news; Brennan had provided them with an alibi as well. He’d been working at the time Lydia had been murdered, and time cards proved it.
“Time to go back to the boyfriend, Mark?” Scotty asked. They were all gathered around Scotty’s desk, and, perched on the edge of it, she recrossed her legs, shrugged.
“Well Brennan said he’d only robbed the store, he didn’t keep anything. Claims he didn’t even know Lydia, and that he ditched everything he’d stolen in a trash can. Said they only did it as a laugh. Told us it was Mark’s idea.”
“Anderson said the same thing.” Scotty said glumly. Lil bit her lip. She could feel an idea forming… Grabbing the old file from the box, she flipped through until she came across the report on the knife. It had been collected the first time because it was found nearby and it was consistent with the type of injuries inflicted on Lydia; the stab wounds and the slashed throat. There’d been a small amount of blood found on the handle as well. They’d retested it this time around, had found that it was, without a doubt the weapon used on Lydia. It held only the grocer’s fingerprints, though. And the robbery had been Mark’s idea…
“We need Mark back in here.” Lil stood up, sitting her coffee mug down on Scotty’s desk.
“Jesus, Lil, look at that rock.” Lil blinked, swore under her breath. The diamond had turned with the movement against the coffee mug. Even when she’d managed to keep it facing inward, she hadn’t thought it would take them this long, though, and the longer it had gone with no one noticing, the more she was sure she could last the rest of the week and come in Monday with an explanation that would make the engagement seem less sudden.
“You think wearing a ring on that finger will stop guys hitting on you? Trust me, it doesn’t work.” Vera shook his head, looking like the great authority on what took women out of the game.
“And how would you know?” Jeffries challenged him, ready to follow his statement with a smile.
“Julie. Even when we were just engaged and she only had the one ring…” Vera looked down at the table, thoughtful. Kat had been following the conversation with pursed lips and a poo poo-me-not expression while Scotty’s eyes had never left Lil’s face.
“Actually… I’m engaged.” Lilly brought all attention back to her with the last two words. There was a lingering dazed silence. Vera was the first to recover.
“Gonna be a shotgun wedding, Lil? Pitter patter of little feet to follow shortly after?” Lil shook her head, admitted to herself that things were playing out as expected. Vera had already made the first joke at her expense.
“Nice, Nick.” Jeffries shot him a glare on her behalf and gave her a small smile. “Congrats, Lil.”
“Thanks, Will.” Lilly crossed over to her desk, picked up her scarf.
“So you gonna tell us who the lucky guy is? Why we’ve not heard so much as a mention of his name before this?” Kat asked her, one eyebrow raised. Lilly shook her head, but before she could speak Scotty cut in.
“Guy on the Harley, right Lil? Ray. Real stable.” Scotty pushed his chair up, passed Stillman on his way out of the room, who stood aside to let him go.
“Where Valens going?” Stillman asked his detectives, who were all looking after Scotty with expressions one step removed from puzzled. Jeffries was the first to recover, and he let Stillman in on the news.
“Lil got engaged.” Stillman looked over to her, the almost blushing cheeks. He hadn’t heard anything through the office grapevine about her even dating anyone, so the news was surprising but he nodded, forced a smile.
“That’s great. You need any time off, let me know.”
“Thanks, boss.” She ducked her head a little, a smile flitting across her face.
“First Thursday tonight, he gonna make an appearance?” Vera asked.
“What, so you guys can rip him to shreds?” Lil shook her head, looking amused.
“Bring him along. I’ll keep them under control.” Stillman nodded at Lilly, and she looked like she might consider his offer. He desperately wanted to meet whomever it was. He knew he had no control over his detectives’ lives, but he felt more than just protectiveness as Lil’s superior, and he wanted to know that she hadn’t ended up with someone who would hurt her. He knew it looked like she could handle it, but under the smooth veneer, there was a much more delicate version of Lilly Rush. He knew, too, that if he knew what this guy looked like it would be a lot easier to hunt him down and give him payback if he ever hurt Lil.
“Will, you want to come with me to bring Mark in? I don’t know if Scotty’s coming back.”
“What’s going on?” Stillman paused in his thoughts as he tuned back in to the conversation.
“We talked to Anderson and Brennan, the other two guys who robbed the store. They’ve both got alibis, but it turns out it was Mark’s idea that they robbed the store and dumped it all in the trash. Knife was found in the trash can. Could be that Mark and the grocery store owner, Harris, were in it together. Mark robs the store, chucks it all in the trash. Harris reports the knife missing along with the other items, kills Lydia then puts the knife with the rest of the stolen items.”
“Why would Mark go along with his girlfriend’s killer?” Vera asked.
“You’d better ask him. Bring him in.” Stillman nodded to Lil and Jeffries, who left.
“So… Lil engaged.” Vera said. Stillman looked to him.
“Did you see it coming?”
“Nope. As much of a curveball over here. Haven’t even heard her mention anyone… Although someone did come see her earlier in the week…” Stillman shook his head, left Vera to his wondering. As gossips went, as much as he would contest it, he was the worst in the office.
“Kat, call Scotty. Tell him we’re bringing Mark in again.”

[jambled]

Jeffries drove while Lil read him the address.
“He said he had the week off work, that he’d be at home if we needed to talk to him.”
When ringing the bell, knocking and calling his number didn’t get them a response, Lilly walked out onto the footpath, looked either way.
“He could’ve gone to the shops. They’re only a block away.” Jeffries nodded, followed her.
“So, you’re getting married?” Lil allowed herself a smile as she looked up to Jeffries. She’d known him for almost as long as she’d worked in the department, and he was the one person on their team, other than Stillman, she trusted not to pass on anything she imparted.
“Yeah. Eventually. For a while, I think we’ll just be engaged. It was kind of a sudden suggestion.”
“But you’re happy?” Jeffries’ question prompted her to purse her lips, concede.
“Yeah. I’m happy.” And the truth was, she was getting happier the more she adjusted to the idea. The more the shock value wore off, which it was still doing, the happier she was letting herself feel. If anyone was solid, it was Ray. The first time it hadn’t worked out mainly because they’d each wanted to be such different places; they were just starting out in their lives, testing the waters of lives lived outside the boundaries their old neighbourhoods had set for them. Now, they were agreeing on things, and their childhoods were distant memories.
“There’s our boy.” Lil motioned to Mark’s figure, carrying shopping bags in his arms. He greeted them politely, agreed to go to the police station without much fuss. Lil bet that this was amusing to him; he probably considered himself too smart for them; hadn’t bet on his friends pinning the idea or the robbery on him.

Back at the office, Lilly and Jeffries left Mark in the interview room and came back to hear what Stillman had to say.
“Vera, you and Will lean on him. If he was working with the grocer, he might be influenced by older men.” They nodded, moved into the interview room. Lilly and Scotty, in awkward silence, filed into the black room behind the interview room.
“So you guys got engaged?”
“Yeah.” Lil leant against the wall, crossed her ankles. “Want to tell me what you were so upset about?” She didn’t get his reaction. She didn’t have to keep him informed of everything she was doing in her life. And even if she wanted to, she couldn’t have told him that Ray was going to propose. That had surprised her as much as it had everyone else.
“Thought he wasn’t staying?” His voice was still sullen and Lilly recrossed her ankles, watched Jeffries move around the table, lean into Mark’s face.
“Well, I guess he is now.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Look, what is your problem with this, Scotty? The fact that I’m actually happy, or that I didn’t ask your permission first?”
“So you’re happy?” It was the second time she’d been asked this in just under two hours. Why did everyone think she’d be so unhappy? Because they couldn’t imagine her as anything other than single, couldn’t imagine her being with someone that made her happy?
“Yeah. I am.” Lil stood up straighter, her eyes on Vera in the interview room, leaning back in his chair. Mark was looking nervous, cagey. They might get him to crack soon.
“I just… I don’t want to see you get hurt again, Lil.” Scotty looked over to her and she moved her eyes, met his in the reflection of the glass. Lilly shrugged to him, not wanting the moment to linger too long, go too deep. He’d made his choice when he didn’t tell her about Christina; information was a two way street. She looked away.
“He’s a good guy. Always honest.” Lil flicked a glance back to Scotty, saw that her comment had hit the mark.
“He loves me, Scotty. And for once, I’m going to let myself be happy.” Will and Jeffries left the interview room, and Lil pulled opened the door, letting herself back in to meet them in the office.
“What do you think?” She asked them, leaving Scotty behind.
“He’s obviously scared; probably didn’t think we’d figure out the link. Not talking yet, though. Might be time for a woman’s touch.” Lil nodded, shot a glance to the still closed door to the observation room.
“I’ll talk to him.”
“Scotty?” Vera asked. Lil shook her head.
“He might open up more in a one-on-one.” She grabbed the case file off Will and let herself into the interview room. Vera looked between the closed doors to the interview and observation rooms. Will shrugged.

“Hi, Mark.” Lil slid into the seat opposite Mark and opened the case file in front of her.
“So, we don’t think you’ve been completely honest.” Mark slid a look up at her from under his fringe. He wasn’t bad looking, but she could still see traces of the teenager he would have been; tall, gangly and unsure of the way he should adjust to a body that may as well have sprung up on him overnight.
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, you either stole the knife that killed Lydia, in which case it might have been you who killed her, or you had an arrangement with Mr Harris, stole some things from his store so he could report the knife missing before he killed Lydia and threw it in the trash with the other stolen goods.” Lil shrugged, leaned forward to Mark, forcing him to look at her.
“Both scenarios don’t paint a very good picture of you, and neither was the fact that you never talked to the police the first time around.” The time he’d spent with Vera and Jeffries had already worn him down, and he rubbed his eyes, rested his head on his hands. Lil had picked up on something when she’d mentioned Harris’ name; had noticed the same reaction when Jeffries and Vera had said the name to him.
“How long had you known Harris, Mark? Was he your local grocer? Made sure he always ordered in enough fresh fruit to keep your mother happy, always had a lolly pop there for you when you went along to the store with her? Until you got older, and it was maybe a trashy magazine you got for free, some cigarettes?” Mark looked up suddenly, letting Lil know she was on the right track. She spun out of her seat, moved back to lean against the mirror.
“And then you came in with Lydia, and he wasn’t happy, was he? Because you were his. And he didn’t want to share you.”
“Shut up.”
“It was okay when you came in with your mother, some other friends, but your girlfriend shows up and Harris gets mad, doesn’t he?”
“Just shut the @#@# up.” Mark narrowed his eyes at her, and Lil was glad she’d moved to the wall. Usually they had two people in there for safety reasons, but she hadn’t thought Mark would snap. Right now, she wasn’t so sure.
“Did you tell him you and Lydia would be around that night? Watch while he stabbed her? Did you get blood on your shoes when he cut her throat, Mark?” Lilly pulled out the crime scene photos and spread them across the table. Mark put his head back down, not wanting to look at the glossy images.
“Look what you did. Look at them.” Lilly leaned over so her shadow met his folded arms.
“He wasn’t going to kill her.”
“Really? Then how did she end up like this?” Lil pulled the chair out and sank back into it, letting the silence grow. She’d moved him to the edge, but he had to take the last step by himself.
“He raped me. That sick @#@#…” Mark’s hands balled into fists and he looked up at Lil.
“It wasn’t your fault. He shouldn’t have done that.” It was as if Mark had reverted to his teens; his voice sounded more gravely, his tone more submissive.
“Since I was a kid… He told me if I told anyone, he’d tell my mother that I wanted it. That I asked for it. Just like I used to ask for the lolly pops every week.” Lil shook her head; she hadn’t wanted to be right, but more often than not the most twisted and sickening explanation was going to be right.
“Tell me what happened that night.” Lil said quietly. Mark bit his lip then started to speak.

“So let me get this straight; Harris was abusing Mark until he told him that he’d told Lydia.”
“Which he hadn’t, it was just a scare tactic to try and get Harris to leave him alone.”
“But Harris convinced him to rob the store and dump the goods, told him he’d leave him alone if he took a few things. Mark gets his friends in on it, thinks it’ll improve his street cred.”
“Mark didn’t know anything about the knife; it was Harris that reported it missing, tossed it later.”
“So Lydia was killed because Harris thought she knew something she didn’t.” Stillman looked around his detectives as they nodded.
“We’ve let Mark go and we’ve got Harris in a cell. If we don’t get a confession out of him, he might have to go. Evidence is circumstantial. I mean, even with Mark’s input, we still don’t have an eyewit or his fingerprints on the knife.”
“And what kind of lawyer is going to want to cross examine an old guy with Alzheimer’s.” Lil looked to Vera, shrugged.
“At least we can get him on statutory rape.”
“Oughta be enough to put him away til he dies.” Scotty shut the file he had in front of him and looked up to Stillman.
“Good work, guys. Jones tonight everyone?” There were nods all round as they started gathering jackets and tidying up files.
“So, is your mystery man coming down to the tavern?” Kat slid a glance Lilly’s way as they were putting on their jackets. Lil nodded, pulled at the hemline of her skirt.
“I advised him against it but he said he’ll be there.”

[jambled]

As the door opened each time, Vera would look up expectantly until Lil made him switch seats with her so he’d stop doing his jack-in-the-box imitation.
“Another round?” Jeffries got up to fix the tab and get the drinks as everyone nodded. For some reason, it was less crowded than usual and Lil caught sight of Ray as soon as he walked around. He rubbed his hands through his hair, caught her eye as she smiled over at him. As if on cue, everyone else at the table turned as he crossed the room. Lil had warned him on the phone it would be twenty questions, but he’d still wanted to come, meet the people she worked with. Kat caught her eye, nodded her approval. Ray had changed into a pair of black jeans, a green shirt and his usual leather jacket. For once, he didn’t have helmet hair and she figured he’d walked over. When she’d talked to him, she’d told him there was no way in hell she could hop on the bike in this skirt.
He arrived at the table, shook hands with everyone and waited until Lil made some room so he could sit down. When she’d switched it had put her on the booth side of the table and he managed to squeeze in next to her so their thighs were touching under the table.
“So, how long have you known Rush?” Lilly rolled her eyes as the deluge started, looked at Ray while he was looking thoughtful.
“What is it, Lil? Coming up… nineteen years?” Ray looked back around the table, nodding slowly as Vera tried to swallow his incredulousness. He’d probably been expecting an answer that was under a year or maybe something just over the stretch of time between the last time Ray had shown up at work, and now.
“Well, that kind of covers it for me.” Vera coughed, accepted his drink off Jeffries. Lil handed hers to Ray, who took a long swallow, handed it back.
“So you gotta job here now?” Scotty asked. Lil shot a glance at him, wondering how far he was going to take it. She already knew his feelings on how much of a stable guy Ray seemed to be; she didn’t want him to project them to Ray as well.
“Yeah, I’ve got a chain of Harley shops. Main base is here in Philly, but we’re going to start expanding.” Ray shrugged, leant back in the booth.
“Harley’s?” Jeffries asked, his interest piqued. Ray nodded, and a conversation was started; something about the engine in a Harley that Lilly wasn’t following. The rest of the evening was more or less uneventful. Ray shouted a few rounds, made himself popular in that regard. Lilly sat back and watched him listen to her colleagues. She wasn’t into public displays of affection, but she found his hand under the table and slipped hers into it. He looked back at her and they shared a smile.
“We’re gonna go. Long day.” Lilly looked around as she spoke. Ray took her cue, got up. Kat had already departed; she usually only stayed for a few rounds before she left. But the rest of the boys were still there, and probably would be for another hour.
“Hey, good meeting you.” Ray gave them a wave before his arm slipped around Lil as they walked out. She let it rest on her shoulders, tugged on her skirt again. Ray reached into his pocket, pulled out some slips of paper that he handed to her.
“What’s this?” Lil took it, squinted in the light as he pulled open the door for her.
“As cute as you look in that skirt… Figured you might want your suits back.” Lilly stopped outside the door, moving aside only as a few people pushed past them, separating them.
“You took my clothes to the drycleaners?” She spoke when they were back together, and Ray shrugged, his hands back in his pockets.
“Just don’t tell the guys I work with. Doesn’t help the image, y’know.” Lilly felt a smile spreading across her face. Public displays of affection be damned, she was going to be able to ditch the skirt tomorrow.
“I love you, you know that?” Ray shrugged, accepted the kiss she gave him before they started walking down the street.
“Your boss threatened me, you know that?”
“What?” Lil let out a laugh, moved closer to Ray as he put an arm around her.
“Apparently, he carries a gun and he won’t be shy to use it if you get hurt on account of me.” Lil shook her head, looked up towards Ray. He smiled down.
“Guess that confirms it. We’re together forever.” Lilly looked forward again. It was a dark night, and the air was chilly, but she was walking in the figurative sunshine. Ray’s arms felt warm across her shoulders, and she could imagine him walking her home for as long as she needed an escort. And her answers to Jeffries and Scotty were becoming more true; she was happy. It had been a long nineteen years, in which she’d question herself if love was ever enough; apparently it was.

Finit.

So that’s where I’ll finish it, I think. Lil, finally being happy. Something no one ever thought they’d see, right? And with MC Man to boot. I do like this nice version of him though. I thought about the arsehole angle but reconsidered. I just liked him too much this way. What did everyone think? Loved it? Hated it? About to flame me in protest? While you’re at it, though, pass along some thoughts about characterisation, writing style, etc. A writer always needs some constructive feedback- it’ll make the next fic better! Let me know what you want to see next as well.
And if you loved this… There’s always room for a part two; Lil and Ray in wedded bliss. Ah, I can hear the choir. Hee. Thanks for reading!

[Rhi]

aww sweet story.
no criticisms here. love your style of writing and the way you write the characters. Great job!

[michelle]

How’s that partner of yours? Hitting it yet?” Ray couldn’t resist the cheap dig

I haven't finished reading this yet, but the line above is perfect, just perfect. I don't know Ray well but I have no doubt that he would say exactly that.

You have a great knack for getting into the character's thoughts.

[longislanditalian2]

Although I'm not a Ray fan at all, the storyline is great; Well developed and Well done

[michelle]

I'm not much of a fan of romantic happy endings, and especially not where Lilly is concerned. My normal inclination is for her to continue to be alone, tormented, incapable of connection. So I was very surprised at how much I liked this story. A Lot!! I was actually pulling for them to get together!

Great job, Jambled. As always. But in this case you managed to even change my hard hearted view. ;D

She usually made it a rule not to wear trackpants with writing across the butt

Got it! *grin*

[TVFan]

Excellent as usual jambled! I just loved your Lilly interrogation. Your dialog and tactics were so true to her character. You have an excellent grip on this character and you write her thoughts and feelings perfectly.

[tillace]

Can't say I'm a fan of Ray but lovely writing as usual

[jambled]

michelle said:

She usually made it a rule not to wear trackpants with writing across the butt

Got it! *grin*

I as wondering it anyone would pick up on that! Lol.

Excellent as usual jambled! I just loved your Lilly interrogation. Your dialog and tactics were so true to her character. You have an excellent grip on this character and you write her thoughts and feelings perfectly.

thanks for that tvfan. I wasn't going to put in much on the case at all, but then I figured that relationship needed a balance point. And everyone seems to love Lilly's interrogations, so I thought I may as well put one in. Glad I got it right! I could just hear her in my head as I wrote... could picture the scene perfectly, so I hope that's what's translating!