Do No Harm

[toddsmitts]

(This story is also available at fanfiction.net)
www.fanfiction.net/s/3071212/1/

Do No Harm

The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event.

September 19, 1966
("A Hard Day's Night" - The Beatles)

Dr. Jim Madsen listened intently as he placed the stethoscope on the young woman's chest. Jim was a good-looking man of thirty-six, with dark red hair and features that suggested warmth. He was a bit on the short side but the kindness in his eyes and voice made him a pleasant person to deal with.

"All right, Claudia, now breathe in." He instructed, listening as her chest rose. "And breathe out." Her chest fell. Jim continued this a few more times while the young woman's husband watched intently.

"So what's the prognosis, doc?" The young man asked when he'd finished.

Jim looked down at the young woman's belly. "Well, Steve, I'd say in another five months, we're all going to be saying hello to a beautiful, healthy baby." He smiled slightly. "And you both had better get used to changing a few diapers."

Claudia smiled and looked pointedly at Steve. "Did you hear him say 'you both'?" Steve chuckled.

"Seriously though, do either of you have any concerns?" Jim asked.

Claudia smiled and took her husband's hand. "It's a little scary but I know we can do this." She chuckled slightly. "Though if you had something to make this damned morning sickness go away, I'd love it."

Jim suddenly looked uncomfortable for a moment before giving a laugh.

***

"...And there's a few more routine tests I'd like to run but we can talk about that at your next appointment." Jim continued, walking them out into the waiting room. "And if there's anything you want to talk about before then, I want to you to call me."

Claudia smiled. "Thank you for being so supportive, Dr. Madsen, it really means a lot."

Steve chuckled. "It's cause he's from Canada. Did you know he was Canadian?"

"Are you?" Claudia asked.

Jim simply shrugged.

"Well let me just say I'm so glad you came all the way down here to take care of us"

Jim smiled slightly, though his mind seemed slightly elsewhere. "My pleasure."

As the young couple smiled and walked off to talk with one of the receptionists, one of the nurses, a young black woman named Paula, walked over.

"Dr. Madsen," she said, gesturing to a young woman and little girl of five sitting in the waiting room. "You have a visitor." She said, smiling.

Jim grinned, crouched down, and stretched out his arms.

"Daddy!" The girl cried, running into his arms.

"Hey there, sweetie!" Jim said, pulling the girl into a hug, then lifting her up. "Were you a good girl for Jackie today?"

The young woman nodded and touched the girl's arm. "She was a very good girl, weren't you Connie?" She turned to Jim. "She was kind of quiet though."

"Oh." He looked at Connie intently. "Is anything the matter?"

"I miss mommy." Connie said quietly, burying her head in his shoulder.

Jim pulled his daughter back to look at her. "I know you do, sweetie. I miss her too. Remember what I told you" Mommy got sick. And she had to go away for a while so that she can get better, so that we can be a family again."

"When's mommy going to get better?" Connie asked.

Jim and Jackie exchanged uneasy glances before Jim turned back to Connie. "I don't know, sweetie. It could be a while. But just remember, no matter how long she's gone, your mommy loves you very, very much." He pulled her into a hug. "And so do I." He whispered...

***

Jim lay sprawled across the floor of his office, a pool of blood having formed on the floor. His hand still clutched his neck where his throat had been slashed, a vain attempt to stop the bleeding. His eyes gazed up at one of the medicine cabinets, now open and empty, the lock smashed...

***

The older detective shook his head as he stacked the box marked 'MADSEN, J.' in with the others. Storing away an unsolved case like this never sat well with him. He only hoped something new might turn up eventually...

***

Detective Lilly Rush gave her boss, Lt. John Stillman, a nod as she walked into the squad room.

"Lil, I though this one might interest you." He gestured to the individual sitting next to one of the desks. "This is Dr. Madsen."

Lilly leaned over to shake the doctor's hand. "Nice to meet you." She said smiling.

The doctor smiled back. "Thank you, and please call me Connie."

Dr. Connie Madsen was a surgeon at Pennsylvania Hospital and undoubtedly had a great deal of her father in her. She had the same warmth in her eyes and voice, which likely served her well in her profession.

"Connie was telling us about something she learned about an old homicide case." Stillman continued.

"It was my father." Connie said solemnly. "He was a family physician killed in his office back in 1966. One of the medicine cabinet had been broken into. The police assumed my father had caught someone stealing drugs one night and they killed him. The case was never solved."

"But you found out something new recently?" Lilly asked.

Connie nodded and pulled a small, leather-bound book from her purse and handed it to Lilly. "I found out recently that my father kept a journal. He wasn't exactly diligent in writing in it. Some of the entries are weeks or even months apart. Most of them are just work-related, writing about new treatments, maintaining his practice, that sort of thing."

Lilly nodded as Connie continued. "If you look, you'll see a lot of the pages towards the end were torn out. The last entry is what concerned me though."

Lilly looked closer and began reading the brief entry. "I've made a decision. I can't do this. It's wrong. If I ever want to look my daughter in the eye again, I can't let this happen again, not this time." The last three words where underlined heavily and accompanied by a number of exclamation marks.

"Can't let this happen again. What do you think he meant by that?" Lilly asked.

Connie shook her head, looking troubled. "I don't know. But I'm starting to think it may have cost him his life."

ROLL INTRO

[LillyKat]

Great start, toddsmitts.

[michelle]

Can we look forward to more, Toddsmitts?? I'd like to see where this goes.

[toddsmitts]

(sorry about the long delay)




DO NO HARM


Starring:
Lily Rush - KATHRYN MORRIS
Scotty Valens - DANNY PINO
John Stillman - JOHN FINN
Nick Vera - JEREMY RATCHFORD
Will Jeffries - THOM BARRY
Kat Miller - TRACIE THOMS
Dr. Jim Madsen - ALAN TUDYK
Connie Madsen (1966) - ASHLYN YATES
Dr. Connie Madsen (2006) - JULIANA DONALD
Sylvia Madsen (1966) - ALLISON SMITH
Sylvia Madsen (2006) - BARBARA BABCOCK
Dr. Matthew Swain (1966) - THOMAS VINCENT KELLY
Dr. Matthew Swain (2006) - LAWRENCE PRESSMAN
Paula Freeman (1966) - BIANCA LAWSON
Paula Freeman (2006) - L. SCOTT CALDWELL
Jackie Warren (1966) - GABRIELLE CHRISTIAN
Jackie Warren (2006) - JULIE COBB
Miles Chapman (1966) - FRANK GRILLO
Miles Chapman (2006) - CLIFF ROBERTSON
Richard Dillon - JOHN PROSKY

Lilly sighed as she pulled papers out from the case box and onto her desk. "Doctor James Madsen; thirty-six. Ran a family clinic over in Germantown. A nurse opened up that morning, found him in his office, throat slashed, signs of a struggle."

"They recover the murder weapon?" Lilly's partner Detective Scotty Valens asked.

Lilly nodded. "A scalpel from a drawer right next the smashed cabinet. Looks like somebody smashed a window to gain entry to the clinic too."

"Everything's pointing to a robbery gone bad." Scotty said.

Lilly paused as she looked over a set of notes she'd pulled out. "Hold on, this is interesting. A statement from the other doctor who worked at the clinic: Dr. Matthew Swain. He says Dr. Madsen was having heated phone conversations shortly before his death."

"Don't suppose it says with who."

Lilly shook her head. "There's not much here. The detective could've got fixated on the robbery explanation and ignored anything that suggested something else."

Scotty shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Goin' the extra mile. Wouldn't be the first time."

Lilly set the page down and looked at Scotty. "Well, maybe Dr. Swain'll have some more to say to someone who wants to listen."

***

Lilly and Detective Nick Vera managed to catch up with Dr. Matthew Swain at his home. A friendly-looing place, his walls were decorated with several humanitarian awards. Aside from his thinning, white hair, he looked fairly good for his age. His serious but relaxed demeanor quickly changed to one of surprise when he heard the detectives mention Dr. Madsen's name.

"Jim?" He said, smiling slightly. "It was terrible what happened to him. He deserved better. I kept the clinic open for a few more months, but I just couldn't keep working there. I sold it and got myself a job at St. Boniface, stayed there until I retired seven years ago."

Vera nodded. "You mentioned something in the report about Dr. Madsen getting some harassing phone calls?"

Matthew nodded. "I'm surprised that's even in there. No disrespect to your department but I don't think the fellow working the case back then was very interested in anything that didn't fit the robbery aspect."

"So how often were these calls?" Lilly asked.

Matthew paused for a moment, trying to remember. "Well I knew of at least three. The week he died, I'd left for a pharmaceutical convention in New York. He had one the day I left. I guess that would be the last time I saw him alive..."

***

("Monday Monday" - The Mamas & the Papas)

Matthew straightened his coat as he walked out of his office. Looking around to see where Dr. Madsen had gone, he heard talking from his office. Curious at the tone he heard, Swain walked over and peaked through the door which was open a crack.

"No!" Jim said. "I'm not changing my mind about this! And stop calling here thinking you're going to make me reconsider. I'm not going to put her through this anymore! Hello? Hello?" Jim sighed and massaged his forehead, hanging up the phone. He looked up to see Dr. Swain looking in. "What is it, Matt?" Jim asked, suddenly sounding very tired.

Matthew smiled. "I was just heading out now. I've got to get home and pack. I just wanted to say goodnight. I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

Jim managed a slight smile. "Don"t worry about it. I"ll see you in a week, Matt.'

"Is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine." Jim answered.

Matthew looked at the phone. "Didn't sound like everything's fine. I heard you have a couple of phone calls like that already this week."

"It's fine." Jim repeated curtly. "Don't you have to pack for your drug convention?"

Taken aback, Matthew raised his hands. "Okay, okay. Take it easy, Jim."

Jim lowered his head. "I'm sorry. I've just been having a rough week."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"No, I'm fine."

"If you say so. You know it's not to late for you to buy a ticket and come with me."

Jim looked up. "I'm fine here. Besides, I got a kid to take care of."

Matthew shrugged. "All right, well, see you in a week." He turned and headed out. As Matthew headed out, Jim lowered his head again and sighed.

***

"Something was weighing him down, and I'll bet good money it had to do with those phone calls." Matthew said.

"Did anyone else know about these calls?" Vera asked.

"Paula, one of the nurses there, overheard at least one. I think she and Jim were pretty close. Not in a romantic way, I mean he was married. But they just understood each other."

"You know where we can find her?" Vera asked.

Matthew "It's been a few years but the last I heard she was working at the Children's Hospital."

Matthew lowered his head. "We didn't really socialize a lot outside of work, but I considered Jim a friend. You know, all these years I've sort of felt a bit responsible for what happened to him."

Lilly raised an eyebrow. "Why is that?"

Matthew looked at her calmly. "Well, cause while I was away at that convention, somebody slit his throat. I tried to get him to come along but he wouldn't go. Maybe if I"d sold him a little more on the idea, he'd still be alive."

***

In the staff lounge at the Children's Hospital, Scotty and Detective Will Jeffries looked at Paula Freeman intently.

"You were the one who found Dr. Madsen." Jeffries said.

Paula nodded wistfully. "I'll never forget that as long as I live. Dr. Madsen was a good man, always treated me with respect, and to a black nurse, that's more than most doctors back then could say. He deserved better."

"We heard that a few days before he was killed, someone had been harassing him over the phone. We were told he might have confided in you about it."

Paula nodded. "I remember the phone calls but he never said exactly who they were from."

"But you have an idea?" Jeffries asked.

"Dr. Madsen"s wife was recovering from an illness at the time of his death. He was busy a lot with the clinic, so he hired a nanny to watch over his daughter. Jackie was her name, I think. Jackie Warren. Dr. Madsen's daughter really took to her. She seemed like a perfectly nice girl at first."

"At first?" Scotty said.

Paula sighed. "After a couple of weeks, it turned out Jackie wanted a little more than she was entitled to..."

***

("I'm a Believer" - The Monkees)

Paula looked up from her desk as Jim escorted an elderly woman from the exam room.

"Dr. Madsen, Steven Burke called." She said. "It sounded like his wife Claudia was having a bit of a reaction to the medication you gave her. He says it's been causing some stomach and chest pains."

Jim frowned. The medication he'd given her had a few potential side effects but those weren't among them. "That's odd. All right, have her come in as soon as she can."

Paula smiled. "I already penciled her in for 11:15 today."

Jim chuckled. "What would I do without you?"

Paula returned the smile, then looked on with surprise as she saw someone familiar walk in the door. Jim recognized her expression and turned around to Jackie looking at him.

"Jackie? What is it? Is Connie okay?" Jim asked, concern in his eyes.

Jackie smiled reassuringly and held up a hand. "No, no. She's fine. I dropped her off at school without any problems. I just... wanted to talk to you about something in private."

Jim was confused but nodded. "Of course. Just over here." He said, escorting her over to his office.

Jackie chuckled and started pacing as Jim sat down. "I realize this may not be the best time to do this, but it took me all morning to work up the courage to do this so if I don't do it now, I'm afraid I'll never be able to."

Jim shook his head, still not following. "Never be able to what?"

Jackie turned to him, an anticipating smile on her face. "I've seen you here, they way you help people around here. And I've seen how you are with Connie. I've never seen a man who took care of so many people. You're an amazing man, Dr. Madsen." Jim saw a look of desire in her eyes and before he knew it, she was kissing him.

He pulled back immediately. "What are you doing?"

The smile remained on Jackie's face. "I do everything a wife does. Shouldn't I get everything a wife gets?"

Jim stood up. "I have a wife. Look, Jackie, if I gave you the wrong impression, I'm sorry, but I'm a married man." His tone wasn't harsh but still firm.

Jackie folded her arms and looked at him impatiently. "And just where is your wife now anyway? Forget about her. She can't take care of herself, much less her own husband and daughter, and she still expects you to stay with her? It's pathetic."

Jim's eyes narrowed. "You know what" Don't worry about picking up Connie from school. I'll make other arrangements. You're fired." He immediately sat back down and started looking over some papers, deliberately ignoring her.

Jackie put her hand up to her mouth, and with tears in her eyes, ran out of the room.

Paula, having overheard everything, watched her run out the clinic, and then continued with her own work, shaking her head...

***

"A little harsh, wasn't he?" Jeffries said.

"Maybe, but Dr. Madsen wouldn't take someone disrespecting his wife like that." Paula said.

"So you think those calls might have been her trying to beg for another chance?" Scotty said.

"She had a pretty serious crush on him, I know that."

"And gettin' fired on top of getting rejected mighta tiffed her off?" Scotty asked.

Paula shrugged. "Hell hath no fury."

***

Jackie Warren, now Jackie Hewitt, had made a name for herself as an agent for the largest real estate agency in Philadelphia. Jeffries and Detective Kat Miller caught up with her outside a gray-colored house she was exiting. "Good starter house" she'd called it. "Perfect for a new family."

Jackie was puzzled when the detectives mentioned Jim's murder, but she rolled her eyes when they mentioned Paula.

"Figures." She said. "She never liked me. She used to take care of Connie now and then and sort of resented me taking over."

"So was it true what she said about you having a thing for Dr. Madsen?" asked Kat

"And him firing you when you bad-mouthed his wife?" added Jeffries.

Jackie sighed. "I was twenty years old. I was a little girl with a crush that I thought was love. I was hurt but I would never do something to hurt him. I lost my own father in Korea when I was six. I could never do that to Connie."

The two detectives nodded as Jackie continued. "After Dr. Madsen fired me, I went back to school. I was staying at my dorm when I heard he'd been killed. I felt awful for thinking this when I heard it, but..."

Jeffries perked up at this. "But what?"

"But I couldn't help but wonder if his wife had something to do with it."

"His wife?" Kat asked.

"I never met her but Dr. Madsen told me his wife was an alcoholic. He'd sent her away to get treatment when it got serious, and that's something I know even Paula will confirm. Apparently, she didn't exactly go willingly either. Even after she left, she called his work and his office a few times, drunk, begging him to take her back. One day when I was dropping Connie off at home, I picked up the phone and listened in. It got pretty ugly."

Jeffries and Kat looked at each other.

"I tried to tell myself I was being crazy, and after they said it was probably a robbery, I decided it was nothing. But in forty years, I haven't forgotten what I heard. And if she was half as angry as she sounded, I don't know what she was capable of."

[r2k]

Excellent story so far. Follows a Cold Case episode very well. You obviously have a different approach and it works well here. I noticed you put actors names on the cast list. Who are they?

[longislanditalian2]

I actually feel like this is an actual Cold Case episode, I'm really getting into this story a lot

[toddsmitts]

r2k said:

Excellent story so far. Follows a Cold Case episode very well. You obviously have a different approach and it works well here. I noticed you put actors names on the cast list. Who are they?

If this were a real episode, this is who I'd cast. That's who. Every name links to their IMDB profile so you can see what they've done.

[toddsmitts]

Note: The drug mentioned in this chapter is real, and, unfortunately, so are the statistics mentioned.

***

Outside the hospital, Connie looked at Lilly and Scotty as they told her what they'd learned.

"My mother?" Connie asked, confused. "I haven't even spoken to her since before my father was killed."

"Your parents were separated?" Scotty asked.

"Sort of." Connie said. "My mom was wonderful most of the time, but she had a problem with drinking, and it was getting worse. One night, about three weeks before he died, my dad finally had enough, decided he had to do something about it." She sighed. "I'll never forget what I heard that night as long as I live..."

***

("What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?" - Jimmy Ruffin)

Jim looked down at his TV dinner and sighed before looking up at his daughter. Whatever happened with his wife, he had to make sure his daughter knew he was still there for her.

"So how was kindergarten? You make any new friends yet?" He asked.

Connie smiled. "There's a girl named Maura there. She has an invisible friend named Vivian."

"Really? Well maybe you'd like to have Maura and Vivian over sometime."

Before Connie could answer, there was a faint knock at the door. Jim swallowed hard as he looked towards the door, then looked back down to his daughter.

"Connie, sweetie, I need you to go in your room and stay there for a few minutes."

"Why?" Connie asked innocently.

Jim sighed. "Please, just do as I say. I'll come back there in a few minutes to get you, okay?"

"Okay." Connie said, getting up from the chair and walking towards her room.

Jim walked towards the door and unlocked it. Opening the door a crack, he found himself looking at the face of his wife.

Sylvia Madsen was a slim, attractive woman about Jim's age, with red hair and bright eyes. Her attractive appearance, however, was diminished by the unkempt condition of her hair and a slightly glazed look in her eyes. Lately, it seemed she was like this more often than not.

"My key's not working." She giggled, holding it up.

Jim didn't smile. "That's because I changed the locks." He said, quietly.

"What? Why?"

Jim gave his wife a sad look. "I can't do this anymore, Sylvia. You have a problem and we need to do something about it."

Sylvia rolled her eyes. "God, not this again. I had few drinks today. So what?"

Jim's eyes widened. "So what!? You were supposed to pick up Connie from school today. It was an hour before a teacher finally called me to come get her. When I got there, she was crying because she thought something had happened to you. This isn"t the first time something like this has happened either."

Sylvia looked at Jim. "Look, Jim, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"You're right." Jim said. "It won't." With that, he reached over and picked up a pair of suitcases beside the door and handed them to her, then pulled out a key from his pocket and some money and a note from his wallet and gave her those as well. "That's cab fare and a key to a room at the Clayton Hotel. You're paid up for the next few weeks. There's a list of AA meetings in the area. You spend that time going to meetings and getting sober, and then we'll talk about when you can come home."

Sylvia stared at Jim in disbelief. "You're throwing me out!?"

Jim gave her a hard but solemn nod. "That's right. I'm not gonna have you around her when you're like this anymore."

Sylvia look of shock turned to anger. "You can't do this!"

Jim closed his eyes. "Sylvia, please don't make a scene." He whispered. "I don't want her to hear us fighting."

Sylvia glared at Jim. "You think you're better than me, Jim, is that it? You think you're a better parent?"

"Sylvia, please!" Jim whispered.

"Why don't you tell her about Toronto, Jim!" Sylvia spat. "Why don't you tell her why we had to move!?"

"Get out." Jim hissed.

"Tell her what you did there, Jim! See if she still loves her daddy then!"

"Get out!" Jim screamed, shoving her out the door and slamming it shut.

Jim just stood staring at the closed door, trembling, not noticing Connie looking out at him from around the doorway...

***

"I'd never seen him so angry." Connie said, shaking her head. "After my father died, DHS found me a home. I never saw my mother again. I'm not sure if she ever got sober, but sometimes I wonder if he was a little hard on her."

Lilly shook her head and smiled wistfully. "You don't want to be raised by a drunk. Trust me."

"Your mom talked about something happening in Toronto, you having to move cause of something he did?" Scotty asked.

Connie nodded solemnly. "I've been wondering about that for forty years. I think I've never really tried to hard to find out because I was afraid of what I'd find. I grew up remembering my father as a good man. I'm not sure I want to have something ruin that now after all this time."

***

The AA meeting was being headed by Miles Chapman, an elderly man approaching eighty. Despite his age, Jeffries and Scotty both suspected he'd likely been a tough guy in his youth and possibly still had some of that fight left in him.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" He asked as the two flashed their shields.

"We were hoping we could talk to Sylvia Madsen. We heard she comes here." Scotty said.

The older man looked uncomfortable but retained his composure. "Well yes, but we were going to start in a few minutes. Would it be possible-"

"That's all right, Miles." An older woman said from the in front of the coffee table a few feet away. Despite showing some of the years since her husband's death, but Sylvia Madsen still had the same bright eyes and red hair. "What can I do for you?" She asked the detectives as she approached.

Her friendly demeanor quickly turned to one of surprise and slight sadness as they explained they were looking into Jim's murder. To her credit, however, she was unfazed when Scotty brought up the fact that Jim had kicked her out of their home or the harassing phone calls she initially made.

"I'm not proud of that." She said solemnly. "I'm not proud of a lot of the things I did back then. I hurt my husband and I hurt my little girl. And you're right; I didn't go willingly at first. But at some point I realized I had a problem, and I started trying to do something about it. Jim and I were even starting to reconcile..."

***

("Homeward Bound" - Simon & Garfunkel)

Sylvia sipped her coffee while Miles continued telling her about his wife. This had been a good meeting, she thought.

"You've told me much about her I feel like we're old friends already." Sylvia smiled. "When am I going to get to meet her?"

Miles laughed. "Well, I promise I'll try to bring her by sometime."

"What about kids do you have any?"

Miles shifted uncomfortably. "No, I don't."

Sylvia pulled a picture from her purse showing Connie smiling. "That's my little girl Connie." Tears started welling up in her eyes. "What kind of mother does what I did?"

Miles shrugged. "One who's human." Miles put a reassuring hand on her arm. "You're trying to straighten your life around. You're getting help so you can be there for your husband and daughter again. To me that says a lot more about you that what happened in the past."

Sylvia smiled at him for a moment before spotting a familiar face in the doorway.

"Jim?" She said rushing over to him, her face lighting up as her husband gave her a shy smile.

"Hi, honey." he said, leading them over to a pair of empty chair. "Can we just sit?"

"What's wrong? Is Connie okay?" she asked as they sat, her face showing concern.

"She's fine. She's with the sitter watching that new space show with the guy with the funny ears." Jim said, putting his hand on hers. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Sylvia gave a brave smile. "Better. The people here, they're really supportive. Jim, when I left I said some horrible things and I'm sorry." Tears started welling up in her eyes again. "You and Connie mean more to me than anything in the world."

Jim smiled back. "Connie's been asking about you. She really misses you."

Sylvia gave Jim an apprehensive look. "Just her?"

"Aw, honey, you know I miss you too. I'm trying my best to be there for her but it's just so hard without you; and now with what's going on at work, sometimes I don't know what I'm doing."

"What's happening at work?"

Jim lowered his head. "No, no. You've got enough to deal with. I shouldn't put my problems on you too."

Sylvia gripped his hand and gave him a serious look. "Yes, you should. That's what a marriage is, being there for one another. Jim, I know I haven't been at my best lately but I'm still your wife. You can talk to me."

Jim sighed, wondering how his wife could be right so often. "The clinic, it's... we're not pulling in as much money as we used to. You know how it is. People move away, and new people are all going to that new place up the street instead. It's getting pretty bad. Anyway, this guy just approached us about a business deal that'd put some money back in the clinic."

"Sounds too good to be true." Sylvia looked at Jim. "Is it?"

Jim lowered his head. "If you're asking if it sits well with me, the answer's no. But neither does the idea that I can't support my family anymore."

Sylvia gave his hand a squeeze until he looked back up at her. "I know you, Jim. The fact that doing this is bothering you so much should tell you whether or not it's right. Do you remember what you told me when you asked to move here from Toronto? You said you wanted to start over in a new place, so that Connie would be proud of you. Now's your chance to show things really will be different here."

"But the money--"

"Don't worry about the money. We'll get by somehow. We always have. Trust me, nothing's worth not being able to look your daughter in the eye." Sylvia gave him a warm smile. "Jim, we're not perfect people, no one is. But I believe in you to do what's right, because that's the kind of man you are, the man I love."

Before either could say another word, they found themselves embracing each other, trying to draw any strength they could from the other.

"Come home to me." Jim finally said when they pulled back. "If you're going to get better, it should from home with your family."

"I'd like that." Sylvia smiled, blinking back tears. "I promised Miles I'd help clean up. I'll just get my things at the hotel. Could you meet me there?"

Jim nodded. "Okay. Nine o'clock?"

"Okay." She said, squeezing his hand and widening her smile.

Jim got up and gave Sylvia a loving look as he walked slowly out of the room.

***

Sylvia lowered her head. "I waited for him at the hotel all night. I called home, the sitter hadn't seen him. There was no answer at the clinic. None of our friends had seen or heard from him. The next morning, when I found out he'd been killed, I didn't even bother to check on Connie. I just went for the first drink I could find. I fell right off the wagon and didn't get back on for thirteen years. DHS decided I was in no shape to take care of Connie and they were right." She closed her eyes in pain. "Bad enough she lost her father. When she needed her mother the most, I was trying to drink enough to forget my loss, as if that's even possible."

Scotty nodded and leaned closer. "So Jim never told you what he was involved with at the clinic?"

"No. I'm sorry I didn't mention any of this before, but wasn't the most coherent person back then."

Jeffries nodded. "Don't worry about it."

Sylvia looked intently at the two men. "Have you seen Connie?"

Scotty nodded. "Part of the reason we're looking over the case again was on account some new info she gave us."

She smiled slightly. "How is she?"

Scotty returned the smile. "She's good. Actually, she's a doctor now."

Sylvia sighed. "Jim would be so proud of that."

Jeffries looked at her. "Sylvia, we have to ask, but what happened in Toronto? What did Jim do that made you have to move?"

Sylvia shook her head. "It was so terrible, especially for someone like Jim, who loved children. To see them like that, it broke his heart."

"What happened, Sylvia?" Scotty asked.

Sylvia sighed again and began to tell them.

***

Scotty looked at Connie awkwardly as he and Jeffries walked back into the squad room. Stillman had said she was there to drop off some of her father's old papers to see if there was anything useful. Scotty wasn't sure she should be here to hear what he'd learned.

"Detective, please." Connie said, after he'd voiced his concerns. "I've made up my mind. If there's anything you've found out about my father, good or bad, I'd really like to know."

Scotty looked at Lilly, then Jeffries before he started. "All right, we were talking with your mother to find out if she knew anything."

"My mother?" Connie's eyes widened.

Jeffries nodded. "We managed to track her down at an AA meeting. Apparently your father might have been involved in some shady business dealings at his clinic."

"But it sounds like he was having second thoughts." Scotty quickly added.

Jeffries looked at Scotty impatiently, then continued. "That's not all though. She also told us why you had to move from Toronto. We think it might've had something to do with why he was killed."

"What is it?" Connie asked.

Jeffries sighed. "Have you ever heard of thalidomide?"

A sad look passed over Connie's face and she placed her hand over her mouth. "Oh my God." She whispered.

"Thalidomide? What's that?" Vera asked from his desk, sifting through some of the papers Connie had brought.

Connie lowered her head. "In the late fifties and early sixties, there was a new drug introduced called thalidomide to treat morning sickness in pregnant women. They claimed it was so safe, you could take any amount without any danger. But thalidomide's major side effect eventually became clear. Children were being born with terrible birth defects after their mothers had taken it. Some were born without ears, arms, or legs, or deformed internal organs. Between eight and twelve thousand children were born with deformities because of it. Only about five thousand of them survived childhood. The FDA never approved thalidomide in the U.S. but most other developed countries did," Connie sighed, "including Canada."

"Jim was a family doctor." Kat said. "He almost certainly would've been treating pregnant women."

"If a few young couples had deformed babies because of this..." Vera continued.

Lilly looked at the box of Jim's papers. "Then we just got ourselves a long list of suspects."

[michelle]

toddsmitts

Every name links to their IMDB profile so you can see what they've done.

That is a lot of effort you've put into this for us! Great idea.

[r2k]

That last part just gets the suspense going. Keep this story going.

[toddsmitts]

In the staff lounge, Paula shifted uncomfortably while Scotty shook his head.

"We got a bit of a problem, Paula." He said. "Now you made Dr. Madsen out to be this great guy, but now we're hearing that he might have had a few people angry at him. That's why he moved down here to begin with. We're also hearing he might've been up to something illegal to try and keep the clinic from going under."

Paula shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"We talked to his wife." Kat said. "We know he prescribed that drug that caused those birth defects. Plus we know he was doing something to get more money for the clinic, something he felt like he shouldn't be doing."

"Thalidomide wasn't illegal. People didn't know what it did back then."

"Well I'm sure that's real comforting to the parents of those babies." Scotty said. "One aof them might've even worked up the nerve to follow him down here and get a little payback."

"Is that what you think happened?" Paula asked nervously.

"We don't know." Kat said. "We can't be sure of anything until we know what he was into. Now I know you don't want to speak ill of the dead, but if you want to help us find out who killed him, we need to know if there's anything else you left out. "

Paula lowered her head. "Dr. Madsen was a good man... but he wasn't a perfect man. Neither of them were . . . "

***

("A Hazy Shade of Winter" - Simon & Garfunkel)

Germantown was a middle-class neighborhood, so cars like the red corvette that just pulled up weren't a common sight. Paula was even more surprised when she saw Dr. Matthew Swain step out, a grin on his face as he looked over the car.

As Matthew sauntered in, Jim stepped out of his office, eyeing the car with surprise. "When did you get that?" He asked.

Matthew chuckled. "You like it? I passed by the dealership yesterday. I saw her in a showroom window and it was love at first sight."

Jim took him by the arm and led him toward his office. "No, I mean how the hell can you afford something like that?"

Matthew leaned in closer. "All right, I guess he wanted to tell you about it eventually. A few weeks back, I met a man named Roger Dillon. He works for Marshall-Weller."

"The pharmaceutical company?"

"They're offering a sizeable reward to doctors who help them out with something."

Jim's eyes narrowed. "Help them out how?"

"Why don't I set up a meeting with you and Mr. Dillon? He can explain it to you in person."

"No, no. Whatever you're doing, I don't want any part of it."

"Hey, look, this is perfectly safe. We're helping a lot of people. And besides which, what they're offering is nothing to sneeze at. We're talking a few thousand a week here. That's more than enough to save the clinic." Matthew put a hand on Jim's arm. "Enough to help your family. Jim, I know you've been having a rough time lately. This could go a long way towards helping things."

Jim shifted uncomfortably.

"Think about your daughter, Jim." Matthew continued. "You have a chance here to make sure she's taken care of."

Jim looked down at the smiling face of his daughter in a picture, then up at Matthew.

From the doorway where she'd been listening, Paula lowered her head and sighed. However, she did so a bit louder than she meant and both men turned to look at her. Jim saw her disapproving stare and a look of shame suddenly passed over his face while Matthew simply glared at her and walked towards the door.

"It's not polite to eavesdrop." Matthew growled to her as he closed the door.

***

"So Dr. Swain was involved with something illegal for that pharmaceutical company?" Scotty asked.

"And he was trying to get Dr. Madsen on board too?" Kat added.

Paula nodded. "Dr. Swain's first concern was always Dr. Swain. Him doing something like that didn't surprise me, but Dr. Madsen knew better. I expected more from him. I could see it was bothering him, though." She continued. "I only hope he came to his senses."

***

"Marshall-Weller went bankrupt in the eighties." Jeffries said as he and Scotty followed Stillman through the lobby. "That means no records and I doubt if anyone from the company's gonna be in a hurry to go into detail on what they were up to back then."

"Especially if Jim backed out of the deal and someone from the company decided to take him out to make sure he kept quiet." Scotty added.

Stillman nodded. "In that case, we'd better talk to the only other person in the room. Get Dr. Swain in here."

***

Matthew looked up at Lilly and Scotty as they circled around him in the interview room.

"Does the name Roger Dillon ring a bell?" Lilly asked. She saw the answer in his eyes but continued anyway. "Remember him? The guy from Marshall-Weller you were doing business with? The one you set Jim up with?"

Matthew swallowed. "Look, I'm not proud of the kind of doctor I was back then, or the kind of man I was."

"Look, doc, we're not lookin' to get you in trouble for being in a drug company's pocket forty years ago." Scotty said. "But we need to know what you got Jim into."

Matthew sighed. "The day before I left for New York, Jim found about what I was doing, and I convinced him to meet Dillon later that night. I told him it was to save the clinic and provide for his family. He had doubts but I pushed him forward..."

***

("Paint It Black" - The Rolling Stones)

The clinic was dark and empty, with Jim's office being the only room lit.

Roger Dillon, a well-dressed, thin, balding man in his early forties, took another puff from his cigarette as he handed Jim another report.

"As you can see from these results, the preliminary test results have been very encouraging and, in many cases, have even exceeded expectation, that's partly why we're so eager to bring them before the FDA."

Jim didn't smile. "And just how many preliminary tests have you run?"

Matthew quickly stepped in, giving Jim a hard look before turning to Dillon. "I uhhhh.... I think what Jim's asking is what exactly will you be expecting of him for this to work."

Dillon nodded. "Yes, anyway, as I mentioned earlier these drugs are intended to supplement and, in some cases, replace existing ones on the market. Now we're trying to bring this before the FDA but their current standards for testing is ridiculously excessive and means these drugs won't be made available to the public for months, perhaps a year or longer. We're trying to give them a decent measure of test results so they can approve the drugs. That's where doctors like the two of you come in."

Matthew smiled, having heard this before, while Dillon continued. "It's very simple, and very safe. No one's asking you to give medication to people who don't need it. You'll simply prescribe or administer the new drugs in place of equivalent ones on the market. You'll record patients responses to the drugs in detail and submit them to us. In exchange, you'll receive a compensation of three thousand dollars weekly."

Jim suddenly looked very lost and tired. "Right."

Matthew put a reassuring hand on Jim's shoulder. "That's money that can take care of your little girl. Remember that."

Jim glanced impatiently at Matthew before turning back to Dillon. "Listen, I'm gonna need some time to think about this. Can I get back to you with my answer?"

"Of course." Dillon said, smiling as he brought the cigarette back up to his mouth. The man's efforts to be polite and friendly only seemed to put Jim less at ease. "You have my number on the card. Once you have a decision, give me a call."

Dillon shook both their hands and walked out. While Matthew was smiling broadly, Jim was looking at the hand that had shook Dillon's, as if it was dirty with something he couldn't quite see.

Matthew gave Jim a pat on the arm. "Cheer up, Jim. You just saved the clinic and secured your little girl's future."

Jim looked back at Matthew, a weary look on his face, and said nothing.

***

"So Dillon had the two of you giving untested medication to patients without them knowing about it." Lilly said.

Matthew nodded solemnly. "Like I said, I'm not proud of a lot of the things I did back then."

"You still in touch with him?" Scotty asked.

Matthew shook his head. "He died nine years ago. Two packs a day for forty years, I'm surprised he lived that long."

"But at some point Jim decided he couldn't go through with it." Lilly said. "Do you think Dillon might not have taken no for an answer?"

"I don't know." Matthew said, looking troubled. "The man was corrupt, but he never struck me as dangerous. If he was, I suppose I'm lucky something didn't happen to me as well."

The two detectives looked at the older man. "Why is that?" asked Scotty.

"When I got back from New York and found out what happened, I felt ashamed. Jim was murdered while I was sleeping comfortably in a hotel bedroom. It took Jim's death, but I finally decided to be the kind of doctor I should've been. I broke off my arrangement with Marshall-Weller, I stopped putting money before my patients, and I spent the rest of my career trying to atone for my mistakes; to be the kind of doctor Jim was."

Before either detective could say another word, there was a knock at the door, and Kat popped her head in.

"Vera found something." She said quietly. "You guys are gonna want to see this."

***

"What's up?" Scotty asked as he, Lilly and Kat approached Vera's desk, Stillman and Jeffries already there.

Vera nodded. "I was looking through these old patient records, starting to wonder if it was waste of time since this Marshall-Weller deal turned up, when I noticed a name I've heard before." Vera handed one of the records to Stillman.

"Miles Chapman." Stillman read.

"The guy who runs the AA meetings where Sylvia Madsen goes?" Jeffries asked.

"He and his wife were patients of Jim's up in Toronto in the late fifties, early sixties. And that's not all. The Chapmans had a baby born in January of '61, born with severe birth defects. Only lived a few months."

"Because Jim prescribed thalidomide." Kat said, shaking her head.

"The Chapmans move down here to Philly three years later." Vera continued. "At some point Miles' drinking gets to be a problem, so he starts going to AA meetings."

"The same meetings Sylvia starts going to later." Scotty continued.

"So Jim went to see his wife at the same meeting where Miles was going, and hours later, Jim was dead." Stillman said.

"Hell of a coincidence." Vera said.

"It's more than that." Lilly concluded. "It's motive and opportunity."

[r2k]

Now that was an excellent plot twist at the end there. You definitely have a feel for this. I will be waiting for more.

[toddsmitts]

The tough, elderly man at the AA meeting looked almost like the one now sitting before Jeffries and Kat. This Miles Chapman looked tired and worn. That's what carrying a secret for forty years'll do to you, Jeffries thought.

"It's a small world, Miles." Kat said. "I mean, what are the odds that you and your old doctor from Toronto would both move to Philly, and that you and his wife would wind up in the same AA meeting?"

Miles looked slowly at Kat. "I didn't plan that, if that's what you mean. I actually didn't know she was his wife until he showed up that night."

"But you did see him there." Jeffries said.

Miles said nothing.

"What was your baby's name?" Kat asked gently, finally break the silence. Miles didn't answer until she repeated the question

"Her name was Elizabeth." Miles whispered. "We named her after my sister. She was the most beautiful, fragile little thing I'd ever seen." Miles' voice cracked as his eyes grew teary. "The doctors only gave her two or three months, because of the... the deformities." A slight smile appeared on his face. "She lived for seven."

"As hard as it was on me, my wife was a hundred times worse." He continued. "She was never the same, for the rest of her life. She couldn't bring herself to try and have another one. We could never get approved for adopting one either. At some point, I realized kids just weren't in the cards for me. I've tried my best to make the most of it. I've volunteered at youth centers. I still read to kids at the library."

"I have a daughter." Kat said. "Something happening to her... I can't even imagine. And if I found myself face to face with the man responsible, a man who decided to run away instead of taking responsibility for what he'd done."

"I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw him walk in." Miles said. "He didn't even notice me. I couldn't even bring myself to go over and talk to him. It was only after I left that I worked up the nerve. I went over to the nearest bar, threw a couple back, looked up his clinic in the phone book, then I drove over there."

"To confront him." Jeffries said.

"No." Miles answered coldly. "To kill him..."

***

("All Along the Watchtower" - Jimi Hendrix)

It hadn't been easy for Miles to tear himself away from the bar after only two shots but he needed to be lucid enough to get to the clinic and do what he needed to do. I've always been able to stop if I had a reason to, he thought grimly.

Madsen's car hadn't been in the driveway of his house, which meant he had to be working late over at his clinic. This is better, Miles thought. His family shouldn't see this.

Miles pulled into the clinic's parking lot and scanned the windows until he saw one with light coming from it.

Steeling himself, Miles forced himself out of the car, opened the trunk, and pulled the weapon from it.

The hunting rifle had belonged to his father. Miles hadn't joined his father on many of his hunting trip, but he'd gone on enough to know how to use it.

Miles looked down at his feet as he walked, noticing each step seemed to take much more effort to do this. Maybe one more whiskey would have helped. Maybe two.

Miles winced as he shattered the glass window pane of the door with the butt of the rifle. There was no way Madsen couldn't have heard that so he'd have to act fast. Reaching through the broken window, he unlocked the door and stepped in. He ran toward the office and quickly raised his gun as he caught Jim at the doorway.

"Whoa!" Jim cried, raising his hands instinctively. "Take it easy, all right? Just take what you want and get out!"

"You don't recognize me, do you, Doc?" Miles growled. "Just like you didn't recognize me at the meeting today. You ruined our lives and you don't even remember me!"

Jim studied Miles' face, poorly visible in the shadows of the dimly-lit office, until the recognition came to him. "Miles?" Jim asked in disbelief. "Miles Chapman? What are you doing here in Philadelphia?"

"Same thing you're doin'" Miles said. "Trying to start over. I thought a new place to live might help my wife get past losing... Elizabeth. Didn't work though. All I got was a drinking problem, and my wife?" Miles had to grit his teeth to continue. "It's been five years and she still doesn't wanna try again. At this point, I doubt she ever will. That's on you, Doc. And the b*tch of it is you don't even know it."

Jim gave Miles a pained look. "You think I don't remember" You think I don't remember those babies" You think I don't see them every time I look at my own little girl and wonder what I did to deserve her? You've got every reason to hate me, but you don't know a damn thing about me!"

Miles snorted. "Yeah, you talk a good game, Doc, but I heard you talking to your wife at the meeting. You're up to something down here too, aren't you? I don't know what, but it's no good. You haven't changed a bit, Doc. You just line your pocket and to hell with anyone who gets hurt!"

"You're wrong." Jim said simply. "Somebody offered me the chance to do something. This clinic's going under without more money coming in. But I couldn't do it. Not if I wanted to look at my daughter again."

Miles glared at Jim, the gun still pointed at him. "I'm just supposed to believe that?"

Jim looked over at his desk and lowered one hand to point at the open journal on it. "You don't want to believe me? Look at that! I was writing it just as you walked in." Jim kept his hands raised and stepped back, giving Miles a chance to read the last entry in the journal. Miles kept the gun steady and he stepped forward and glanced back and forth between Jim and the page, the frustration in his face growing more and more evident.

"I should shoot you anyway." He finally said. "It doesn't change what you did to us."

Jim just looked at Miles sadly. "You're right. Six years ago, I made a terrible mistake. There's nothing I can do except say I'm sorry and God forgive me." Jim stepped closer and the gun started to shake in Miles' hands. "I'm sorry, Miles. I'm so sorry."

Miles started sobbing as he lowered the gun and found Jim pulling him into a hug. Jim simply whispered it was all right as Miles cried on his shoulder.

***

Miles shook his head. "He said he wouldn't tell anyone, and just walked me out to my car."

Kat eyed Miles suspiciously. "You're saying Jim was still alive when you left?"

Miles shrugged. "He was as healthy as I was the last time I saw him. I never thought I could forgive him, but..." Miles trailed off and was still for a moment before continuing. "I just sat there in my car for, I don't know, maybe an hour. I only left when I saw another car pull in."

Jeffries leaned closer. "Another car? You remember what it looked like?"

Miles nodded slowly. "Yeah, it was a nice one. A corvette; red one."

Jeffries and Kat just looked at each other.

***

"You owned a red corvette back in '66, right?" Scotty said to the man sitting at the table.

"Just for a few months." Dr. Matthew Swain answered. "It was an impulse purchase."

"A red corvette, that's a car people notice." Lilly said. "For instance, somebody remembers seeing one pulling into the parking lot of the clinic the night Jim was killed."

"The night you said you were in New York." Scotty added. "You want to explain that one?"

A slight smile appeared on Matthew's face, a look almost of relief. Lilly knew exactly what it was. She'd seen it several times before. It's the look of someone who doesn't have to hide the truth anymore.

"My work for Marshall-Weller was more extensive than Jim knew." He finally said. "They'd called me in to do some research at one of their labs here. They didn't want anyone knowing about it, so I told everyone I was attending the convention in New York. Plus it gave me time to switch some more of the drugs at the clinic for ones from Marshall-Weller."

"Jim found out when you ran into him at the clinic." Scotty said.

"I was telling the truth when I said I broke things off with Marshall-Weller after Jim's death. I spent the rest of my career trying to be the kind of doctor he was. I know what happened to him in Toronto, but I thought if he could get past it, so could I. People do change, don't they?"

Lilly nodded. "But part of changing is owning up to your mistakes, otherwise they can catch up with you, even years later."

Matthew nodded solemnly. "I guess that's what Jim had to. Why should I be any different?"

***

From his corvette, Matthew eyed the other car as it pulled out of the lot. As he pulled into his space, and stepped out, Matthew looked at the window next to the door, the broken glass confirming his suspicions. Damn burglars, he thought. What did they take?

Matthew looked around at the clinic. Nothing else seemed out of place. It was only when he noticed the light to Jim's office was on that he gripped his bag tightly looked around for a heavy object to pick up.

Both doctors reacted with a start and an audible gasp when Jim stepped out of the office and the saw each other.

"Geez, Jim, you gave me a fright!" Matthew said.

Jim chuckled nervously. "Me? What about you? I thought you were in New York."

Matthew paused for a moment. "Ah... there was a change in plans. What happed here? I saw that car pulling away and now the window's broken."

"It's all right. I handled it." Jim said raising a hand as he walked back into his office. "Actually, since you're here, there's something I want to tell you."

"What's that?" Matthew asked, following him into the office.

"I'm not taking that deal with Marshall-Weller." Jim said, a serious look on his face. "I don't want to be a part of that. Just tell your friend Dillon the answer's no."

Matthew just stared in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? Do you know the kind of money we're talking about here? This isn't just mad money. We're talking about keeping the clinic open! What about your family?"

"My family and I will get by." Jim said. "I'm not gonna be a hypocrite in front of my daughter. She deserves a father she can respect."

"This is ridiculous! You heard Dillon, the drugs are safe!"

"Safe?" Jim looked at Matthew incredulously, and pointed at the broken window. "You want to know what that was about? That was about a 'safe' drug I gave somebody six years ago that ruined their lives. Six years later, it came back to haunt me, tonight, right here in this office."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's a long story, but the point is I can't do this." Jim paused for a moment. "And for that matter, if you're gonna be doing it, I don't think we should work at the same clinic anymore."

Matthew just looked at him. "You're serious."

Jim nodded solemnly. "Yeah, I am."

"Fine." Matthew said. "Well then I gonna need you to step out for a minute."

Jim's looked turned to suspicion. "Why?"

Matthew swallowed. "It's just better if you give me a minute alone in here. You won't have to worry about anything from Marshall-Weller then."

"What are you talking about?" Jim asked, gesturing to the supply cabinets on the wall. "These are my meds, what they have to do--" Jim's face sunk as realization sunk in. "You've been switching my meds too? Huh? Is that why you tried to get me on board, so you wouldn't get caught?"

Matthew held up his free hand. "Look, don't be like that, all right? I'll take them back and that'll be the end of it. No harm, no foul."

Jim's eyes widened. "No harm? Claudia Burke was having a reaction to the pain medication I gave her. I couldn't understand why. It got so bad her husband had to take her to the emergency room! She almost lost her baby!" Pain and fury raged in his eyes. "Do you have any idea what's like to be responsible for the death of somebody's child!?" He opened the cabinet and pulled out a small jar. "How long have you been at this? A week?" He hurled the jar at Matthew, who raised his arms to deflect it. Jim pulled out other jars, and threw them at Matthew as well. "Two weeks? A month?"

"Will you calm down, all right?" Matthew said, dodging jars. "You're safe, all right? Nobody has to know!"

Matthew saw the rage in Jim's eyes, and knew what was coming just before Jim started running at him. Jim grabbed him and began burying his fist in Matthew's stomach, while Matthew tried vainly to push him off. The two circled the room, colliding with desks, tables, shelves, and cabinets, leaving a mess of tools and drugs on the floor in their wake. Matthew managed to get in a few good hits, but one good punch from Jim, knocked him clear, dropping him to the floor next to the a table, surrounded by overturned jars and other items.

"I'm gonna report you, you son of a b*tch!" Jim said, breathing heavily while Matthew sat there wiping the blood from his nose and mouth. "I don't care what happens to me. I'm not letting this happen again!" With that, he turned around and started walking out.

Matthew struggled to get up, gripping an open drawer on the table as he did so. His fingers came down around a scalpel, though he did not notice it until he was standing up. "No." He hissed quietly at the exiting Jim, who did not respond. "No!" He screamed this time, gripping Jim's shoulder with his left hand and turning him around while the right hand swung the scalpel at Jim's neck.

The blade was small but deadly, digging into Jim's throat and leaving a bloody mess behind as it passed through. Jim's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. His hands instinctively covered the wound in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding. The only sound he made as he stumbled to the floor was a horrible gasping noise. Matthew wasn't sure if he was trying to say something, scream, or neither.

Their eyes remained locked for a few moments until Jim's eyes glossed over and his head lowered, his hand still gripping his throat. The only movement Jim made after that was shivering steadily, interrupted only by the occasional spasm.

Then he stopped moving completely.

Matthew wasn't sure how long he stood there over the body. At some point, the scalpel fell from his hands to the floor. When he finally came to his senses, the first thing he saw was Jim's journal sitting open on the desk Walking over to it, he quickly tore out what he thought were the last few days' entries and dropped it into the bottom drawer of a cabinet. He then grabbed every container of medication from Marshall-Weller, either from the floor or the cabinet, and stuffed them into his bag.

By the time, this was done, Matthew was breathing heavily. While picking up the containers, his gaze had drifted back to the body more than he meant, which quickened his breathing. He tried to tell himself that the entire scene simply looked like a robbery, but that didn't help. Something about the slumped body just seemed to draw his eyes to it.

Even as he stood up and walked out, he found himself turned out to look at it one more time. He began to wonder if it would keep him there, until his feet found himself again, and he was able to look forward again and walk out of the clinic...

***

("You'll Never Walk Alone" - Gerry and the Peacemakers)

His head lowered, hands cuffed behind his back, Matthew seemed alone in his thoughts as Lilly and Scotty walked him to his cell...

As Jackie showed the young couple the living room, their five-year-old son jumped around, clearly excited at the house. As the couple took the boy into their arms, Jackie watched and smiled...

Standing over the hospital bed, Paula stroked the head of the young boy laying in it, who seemed comforted by her presence. She watched, content, as the boy lulled into sleep...

In the children's section of the library, several children listened, captivated, as Miles finished the last few pages of the book. When he finished, a number of children applauded, and one small girl stood up and hugged his leg. A smile appeared Miles' face, and he patted her head...

As Vera placed the last few papers in the case box, now marked CLOSED, Jeffries lifted it up and stacked it among the other boxes, before the two walked off...

Standing over a table at the just-finished AA meeting, Sylvia looked up as Lilly and Connie walked towards her. Decades apart did nothing to keep the two from recognizing each other as Sylvia pulled her daughter into a hug. When she finally pulled back, Connie caught a glimpse of a man watching over them from the corner of the room.

Jim, looking proud as ever, smiled at her. Connie smiled back at him, just as she had as a child. The two looked on at each other for a moment longer before Jim walked off and faded away...

THE END

[longislanditalian2]

What an excellent story, really enjoyed reading it a lot.

[r2k]

Loved the big shocker in the end when Jim realized Matthew switched the meds. Excellent episode.

[toddsmitts]

r2k, thanks for referring to it as an episode. For someone who strives for accuracy, that's a compliment of the highest order.

A few other things to note:

-Kids are a bit of a theme in the story as well. All of the guest characters (except the killer) love kids. Jim and Sylvia are loving (albeit flawed) parents, Paula enjoyed taking care of little Connie and now works at a children's hospital, Jackie was a nanny, and Miles desperately wanted to be a father and filled that void by taking on volunteer jobs that help kids. Therefore, they're all around children (their own or someone else's) at the end.

-I slipped in a very subtle reference to the events of a "real" episode in one of the flashbacks. Points to whoever points it out first.

-One of the aspects of the story I'm most proud of is the song I picked for the end montage, "You'll Never Walk Alone". If you can find it, you'll understand why I though it was the perfect song to end the story with. Not really because of the lyrics, but just the uplifting tone. Another aspect I'm proud of is giving Kat something to do by having her appeal to Miles one parent to another. As a parent, she's really the only character on the show who could do that (except maybe for Stillman, though that would have seemed out of character).

-Did anyone notice Jim talking about "that new space show with the guy with the funny ears" ? For those who saw "Enterprise", Miles' baby Elizabeth was named after baby on that show who also lived a tragically short life because of birth defects.

-As I was finishing this story, I noticed that Jim has a bit more of a temper than I meant, and loses it quite a few times. Admittedly it's only toward characters whose actions are out of line (Jackie bashing his wife, Sylvia drunkenly goading him about Toronto, Matthew switching his meds)

-Originally, I just planned to have Miles say he saw Matthew approaching the clinic and that was how they knew his alibi was bogus, but saying he recognized the corvette mentioned earlier seems more interesting. Admittedly Matthew probably wouldn't have been convicted on just that in real life, but I tried to show that knowing the detectives were on to him gave him an excuse to reveal this terrible secret and clear his conscience.

-It's a subtle thing but I originially envisioned Sylvia and Connie reuiniting in a diner somewhere but realized while writing it that ending the story in an unfamiliar setting didn't seem right. At her AA meeting is much better because good things happen to her there: she starts to overcome her drinking there, and she reconciles with Jim there.

-I wanted to put in some lines somewhere making it clearer that Matthew had indeed changed since Jim's death and became a better doctor and person, winning humanitarian awards and such. Unfortunately, I just couldn't really fit it in there. Looking back, I regret first showing him at a golf course because that seems too much of an indulgent use of his time, even if he is retired.

-Jackie's line about doing everything a wife does and thinking she should get everything a wife gets is borrowed from the movie "Corinna, Corinna". I didn't actually see the whole movie but that line stuck with me. Joan Cusack says it after Ray Liotta hires as a nanny for his daughter and later finds her in his bed.

[The Reverend Bizarre]

I read this story. A very good one, and I enjoyed the twist with Jim and Miles. Also interesting about the footnotes.

Excellent story!

[shiloh]

longislanditalian2 said:

What an excellent story, really enjoyed reading it a lot.

I couldn't agree more!!!

[toddsmitts]

(deleted redundant post)

[coldboneslove398]

I really like the mention of Thalidomide. It was interesting to learn about this when we were doing a Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire" allusion project in English class last year.

I love how you've brought up Lilly's past with her alcoholic mother again, just perfect. Thought I should state these opinions before I forget.

EDIT: Aha!! I knew it had to be Matthew because it was something that Jim said: "None of these symptoms fit the drug I prescribed to her".